by Marian Tee
“I’m going to make things right, I promise you.” He badly wanted to tell her how much he loved her, but Kellion did his best to hold the words back. If he said them now, she might think that he was only saying it out of guilt or pity, and he didn’t want that, didn’t want to risk hurting her even more.
When he said the words, it would be in a place and time that would ensure she’d have no reason to doubt him.
But for now—
“Please, Aria. I’m begging you, just let me make things right and I swear…I won’t hurt you again.”
Slowly, Aria nodded.
That night, they didn’t make love, didn’t face each other when they slept.
ARIA
“Thank you…for meeting with me.” I took a deep breath. “Thank you also…for making sure we…can meet without…Kellion knowing.” Helios Andreadis had sent his VP out on an errand with MJ, ensuring that we could meet in the club’s conference room in private.
“Of course.” The President’s tone was strangely gentle, and somehow that hurt even more.
I took a deep breath. “I won’t…beat around.” My fists clenched on my lap. “Could you tell…me about…Jack?”
Helios’ face became grim. “Shouldn’t this be something you should ask Kellion about?”
“I would…if I could be…sure he wouldn’t…lie to avoid…hurting me.” I forced myself to look into his eyes. Just so he knew how much I loved Kellion, and that even if it hurt to hear the truth, I had to know it, too. Because in the end, what I wanted was for Kellion to be happy.
“Please tell me…everything.”
Slowly, Helios did.
I wasn’t sure when I started to cry. Perhaps it was from the very start, when I learned that Kellion and dear old Jack were childhood friends, years and years of knowing each other that I couldn’t say about Kellion and me. Or maybe it was when I learned about how Kellion had risked his life practicing a bike stunt just so the guests in Jack’s debut would forget she had been dumped.
I listened to him, and all I could think about was how so, so twisted I was. Every story spoke of Kellion’s love for a girl that wasn’t me, but somehow, each story made me love him even more.
He was a really good guy, my biker.
It wasn’t his fault that he tried his best to love me but failed. That he had done everything he could to forget Jack but couldn’t. It wasn’t his fault that he really thought I could make him happy and he turned out to be wrong.
“H-Helios?” I tried wiping the tears away as I spoke, but they just kept falling and my heart kept breaking. Not chipping into pieces. But breaking, shattering, in a way that I had a feeling only Kellion could fix.
I remembered the times I had told him I loved him, and I almost became hysterical. Oh God, God, God. All those times, I had thought he wasn’t able to say it back because it wasn’t his thing.
Oh God.
It was his thing, all right.
Kellion had always known how to love, had always been capable of saying the words.
He just couldn’t say them to me because I wasn’t the girl he loved.
“What is it?”
“C-can I a-ask a f-favor?”
He listened to me speak, and when I was done, he had only one question. “Why do you want to do this?”
“B-because I want…him…to be happy.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Dear Ashton,
I miss you, kiddo. I really do.
I wish I could go back to the days when I only loved you.
Love, Your Big Sis
Helios Andreadis’ name was like a magical key in Greece. It cut through all sorts of red tape, ensured I was given VIP treatment, and most importantly of all, it granted me a chance to meet the girl Kellion loved even though in their world, I was nobody.
Jacqueline Koufos’ bedroom was elegant and luxurious, and it was so big it could fit probably five or six dorm rooms combined. As for its owner, she was even prettier than her photos on the Internet gave her credit for. And slim, so much so she made me feel hideously curvy. I knew I was being silly, knew that Kellion wasn’t the type to love someone just because of how she looked. But even though I knew all that, I could still feel myself shrinking the closer I got to the other girl.
She was seated upright on an orthopedic bed, which was inclined halfway up so she would have something to lean back on. What kind of healthy young girl would have an orthopedic bed in their own home? I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help thinking it was a ploy to get Kellion to pity her.
“Hello,” I said.
“Hello.” Her smile seemed genuine enough, but her puzzlement was also obvious.
I stopped when I was at the foot of her bed. “T-thank you…for…seeing me.”
To her credit, she didn’t even blink at my halting speech. “It’s always my pleasure to hear from Helios.” Her voice had the same accent as Kellion, and I hated it.
“Although I have to confess…” Her smile turned wry. “I’m confused as well. I’m not sure why he had to send you all the way here when he could have just texted me—” Her eyes widened with apprehension. “Has something happened to Kellion?”
I shook my head hastily. “No…it’s not…like that.” I inhaled deeply. “But I am…here…for him.”
When Jacqueline’s face became expressionless at my words, I knew she had an inkling of what I was about to say.
“I love Kellion.” I met her gaze head on, even though it hurt to look into her eyes, knowing she had always had Kellion’s heart.
Finally, Jacqueline said, “I’m not sure why you’re telling me this. I have nothing to do with how you feel for him.”
My eyes bored through hers. “We both…know…you do.”
Jacqueline flushed. “If this is all an attempt to twist my arm to make me help you nab him—”
“I’m already…his girlfriend.”
Her mouth parted in surprise. “If…if you’re already his girlfriend, then why are you here?”
“You know…why.”
“I can’t force him to fall for you.”
The words were intended to hurt, and they did hurt, my heart shattering once again, pieces that only Kellion could fix but I knew were destined to remain broken. For Kellion to be happy, they had to stay broken because that was the only way I could let him go.
I whispered painfully, “I know…that…too.” Gazing at her, I was badly tempted to cry out, why? Why did Kellion have to keep loving her? Why couldn’t it be me?
“Does Kellion know about this?” Jacqueline suddenly asked.
I shook my head. “No.” Kellion thought I was with KC and the others on a field trip, but what he didn’t know was that the moment we got to the hotel, I had slipped out and Helios’ private jet had flown me halfway across the world just so I could meet with Jacqueline in person.
Squaring my shoulders, I told myself it was time to say my piece, to do what I came here for so it could be all over. “I’m sorry…your fiancé is…a cheat.”
Jacqueline whitened at the words, but she didn’t say a thing to deny it, and she earned just the tiniest bit of my grudging respect for it.
“But you have…always…known I think…that Kellion loves you. All these…years, you took and…took, and you like…having…him at your…beck and call. Like…now.”
“He didn’t come to see me now,” Jacqueline pointed out bitterly.
I could be just as bitter, but I didn’t want to. I told her simply, “Because…he’s guilty over…me.”
Her eyes widened.
“He knows…I now know…about you. And so he…doesn’t want…to hurt…me.” Each word felt like a knife I had to pull out from my own body, exposing my wounds and making me bleed even more. But even so, there were still more knives to pull, more blood to bleed before I could be sure Kellion had the happiness he deserved.
“Kellion needs you…now. You can make…him believe in himself. Be the President…of the Afxisi. Tomorrow, it will�
�be the ceremony…for his succession. Please come. Please be there…for him…for a change.” I bit my lip hard after that, needing more than a few moments to get myself back in control.
Just a few words more, I thought. I just had to hold on a little longer, do whatever it took to stop the tears until I said everything and this girl wouldn’t see me crying.
“If you really…care about Kellion…please come. If you don’t…I’ll take him…away. Forever.” Turning away, I walked towards the coffee table at the opposite end of the room. Placing a note on the table, I said, “If you’re coming…please…give this note…to Kellion.”
I didn’t wait for Jacqueline to answer. I couldn’t afford to. I was already at my limit, and I only managed to step out of her room before the tears fell and the sobs came out in choking bursts.
I love him, I love him, I love him. My heart sang the words. No other girl, not even the perfect Jacqueline, could love Kellion as much as I love him, so why, dammit, why? Why couldn’t he love me instead?
****
Kellion was waiting by the sidewalk when our school bus slowed to a stop. The moment I stepped out of the bus, he was already there, pulling me into his arms.
“I miss you,” he whispered to my ear.
I hugged him more tightly. I really wanted to say the words back to him, and I had to bite my lip hard just so I wouldn’t. There was no better time than now to start moving on, to start accepting that soon, really soon, the day he wouldn’t be mine would come.
When Kellion drew back, his face was heartbreakingly tense and I had to command myself not to move, had to control myself from soothing his frown away with kisses.
“It feels like you’ve been gone for an eternity,” Kellion said hoarsely.
I shook my head. “Just…fifty hours.”
He didn’t smile. “Something’s still wrong.” His eyes were bleak. “You still don’t believe me, do you?”
Willing myself not to cry, I forced a smile on my face instead. “Silly boy.” I tweaked his nose, the way I did with Ashton when I was teasing him. Doing it hurt, but somehow it felt right, too. I had loved both of them, and just because Kellion didn’t love me back didn’t mean I had to regret loving him.
“You’re just…nervous about tonight.” I covered my mouth in feigned shock. “Maybe you’re…nervous…about filling Helios’ shoes…as President?” I gave him a helpful look. “Shall…I let him…know?”
Kellion didn’t hesitate, answering evenly, “Up to you if you want to die.”
And just like that, we were both smiling. Real smiles. It made me close my eyes for a moment. I wanted to remember this forever.
As we started to walk, I told him, “Don’t be nervous.”
“I’m not nervous.” However, he only sounded half-irritable. The other half was pure nervousness.
I rolled my eyes. “I have a…gift. You’ll get it…once you’re the President.”
“What is it?” Kellion asked immediately.
I smiled up at him even as my heart shattered. “The best…surprise ever.”
And it was.
So please, please, please be happy, Kellion. It’s all I want.
KELLION
Why the hell did the ceremony have to take place in the university’s largest presentation hall? The thought had Kellion irritable and restless in his front row seat. Sure, the place was able to accommodate the huge number of guests invited, but it also meant a long thirty-minute walk from here to the club’s headquarters. That meant thirty minutes of not being able to make love to Aria once this was all over.
Also, the ceremony was taking too fucking long to finish. It was only his personal opinion of course, and one he didn’t dare share with anyone. If Helios got wind of it, Kellion was sure the President would wipe the floor with him. After all, the ceremony had been organized by the President’s wife, and as everyone knew, everything MJ did was perfect as far as Helios Andreadis was concerned.
Time and time again, his gaze would flit towards Aria, a part of him needing assurance that she was still there. Since the day she had found out about Jack, Kellion hadn’t been able to shake off the feeling that he was losing her. Couldn’t keep himself from being terrified that he had already lost her.
Again, he searched for her, his body only relaxing when he found her still seated at the back row.
She smiled at him, the loveliest smile in the world. Had he told her that? He would be sure to include it in his speech later once he was officially President and presiding over his first meal with the club. He would tell her he loved her and in front of every damn biker of the Afxisi, he would even go on bended knee and let everyone know she had him pussy whipped from the very start.
It should make a little monster like her very happy.
Finally, the time came for him to stand on stage, going through the rites of passage, Helios on his right and the club’s honorary member and officer, Leandro Christopoulos, on his left. Once Kellion became President, Helios would have the same standing as Leandro.
When the rites were over, Helios asked in a strong, clear voice, “All members in favor of Kellion Argyros becoming the next President of the Afxisi, shout ‘aye’.”
The thunderous roar coming from the club’s hundred-strong members nearly shook the rafters.
A smile slashed across Helios’ lips at the members’ unanimous approval. He looked at Kellion. “Members, welcome then your new President.”
In unison, Kellion, Leandro, and Helios, together with the rest of the Afxisi, raised their fists in the air.
“AFXISI.”
They roared out the name of their club, a symbol of their determination to rise and grow at all costs.
Kellion waited for the fear and despair to set in, waited for the doubts to crawl back to his heart and whisper sly thoughts about his inability to lead, to exist, to be important.
But none of that happened.
Instead, he simply felt the most amazing sense of completion.
Because of Aria, he no longer felt lost, no longer felt the need to be seen in order to exist. Because of Aria, he was able to realize his purpose.
As the applause died down and members came forward to congratulate him, Kellion couldn’t help but search the crowd for Aria. This time though, she was near impossible to find, with the bikers already on their feet, and most of them bearing imposing height that was sure to conceal Aria’s tiny form.
And then he saw something.
He would have thought it was the cruelest form of hallucination until beside him, Helios asked, “Did you invite her?”
Kellion started. She really was here then? “Jack?”
Helios swore. “So you did invite her?”
He shook his head. “Hell no.” This time, he felt it, a strangling kind of pain that consisted of fear and desperation. He excused himself from the stage, even more determined to look for Aria.
But Jack was suddenly there, blocking his way. She looked prettier than he remembered, but thinner, too, making him frown. “Jack.”
She smiled up at him, and for a moment Kellion could only gaze at his childhood friend, stunned. Bikers all around them were staring at Jack in rapt attention. It was normal, for Jack had always been extraordinarily beautiful, the kind that turned heads wherever she went.
What wasn’t normal? The fact that there was nothing in his heart that leapt into life at the sight of her smile.
Nothing.
He felt nothing.
That smile used to pack the strongest punch, but now it was just a smile, from one friend to another.
Looking at her, he almost wanted to thank Jack. If she had been the tiniest bit unfaithful to Eugene, if she had allowed herself to take advantage of Kellion’s feelings for her, who knew if he would still be free to love Aria now?
Clearing his throat, he asked, “Are you okay now?”
She nodded. “I heard from…Helios that you’re about to be President, so here I am.”
His eyes narrowed.
Helios? And yet Helios himself had been stunned to see her here.
“Why,” he asked slowly, “are you lying?”
She touched his arm. “Kellion…” Her eyes turned pleading. “Can we…can we start over again?”
He gently but firmly took her hand away. Once, he would have given everything for her to touch him first. But not anymore. It no longer felt right. “Why are you here, Jack?”
Jack looked at him for a long time before saying sadly, “I’m too late, aren’t I?”
He shook his head. “It’s not that. It’s…”
Aria.
Desperation burned inside him. Something was fucking wrong, and until he found her, Kellion knew everything would feel wrong. He gazed around him wildly. Aria. Where the hell was she?
When Jack reached for his arm again, he had to control himself with an effort since his first instinct was to shake her off. He felt her press something into his palm then, making him frown. “Jack—”
Jack said softly, “She told me to give this to you. It was her…surprise.”
Kellion whitened.
He almost didn’t want to read it, but he forced himself to.
Be happy.
Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck.
“You met her, didn’t you?” he asked hoarsely.
Jack nodded slowly, saying shakily, “She loved you very much.”
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
Her words made him want to kill himself. Even Jack had known how much Aria had loved him with just one look and yet he had been with her for so long, and he had taken her feelings for granted until it was too late.
Aria, where the hell are you?
He rode his bike to the club, turning it upside down in his search for her, but she wasn’t there. She wasn’t in her dorm either, wasn’t with any of her friends.
Aria, come back.
Aria, I love you.
Aria, please, I just want to see you.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Dear Ashton,
