by Abbi Glines
“You aren’t like other souls. They can’t talk and they aren’t solid.”
“I believe it’s because of where we are. Here Ghede makes things the way he wants them to be. I believe he... uh,” Wyatt stopped talking and looked away. He almost seemed embarrassed and slowly tonight’s dinner came back to me and I realized what he was trying to say.
“He uses souls as his entertainment?” I asked
Wyatt peered back at me and nodded. My stomach felt sick again. Had Ghede used Wyatt that way? I was going to throw up.
“No Pagan, he hasn’t forced me to do any of ... that stuff. I’ve just seen it. I believe my age keeps me safe from it, I’m not sure.”
I leaned against the side of the bed and sagged in relief.
“He intends to keep you here you know.”
I lifted my eyes back to Wyatt’s and nodded. “I know. I just wish there was a way I could get you out of here. It isn’t fair that you have to remain here now that I agreed to come. He has me. I won’t leave.”
“How is Miranda?” Wyatt asked and the pain in his eyes sliced through me.
I remembered her sitting on her bed with his notes encircling her and the teddy bear he’d given her in her lap. I couldn’t tell him how much she grieved his death. It would be too much.
“She’s okay. She misses you something fierce but each day she gets better,” I assured him.
His face fell, “That was before. When she had you. Now she’s lost us both.”
The unsaid words hanging in the air between us were thick and painful.
“She’s stronger than you think,” I assured him but the memory of her drunken body staggering out of the graveyard said another thing entirely.
“I hope so.”
I could tell from his tone he didn’t agree. He was right of course. Miranda was like a fragile flower. One that needed tending and special care. Wyatt had always understood that and gone out of his way to give her exactly what she needed. I’d loved him for that.
“He’s coming,” Wyatt said, staring at the closed door.
“Can you stay?” I asked, not ready to see him go.
“No. But I’ll come back again.”
“Stay. I’ll ask him to let you.”
Wyatt shook his head, “I don’t want to Pagan. I don’t want to be near him.”
I understood. Leif had taken everything from Wyatt. His future. His eternity.
“Bye Pagan.”
“Bye.”
Leif opened the door and Wyatt walked past him without a word.
Frowning, Leif closed the door and walked over to the table beside the bed and set down a silver tray filled with recognizable items such as cheese and crackers, strawberries, dinner rolls, pulled pork and chocolate chip cookies.
“He isn’t fond of me,” Leif murmured as he handed me a large round porcelain plate.
“No,he isn’t. But then who can blame him? You took away his eternity. He is now stuck here, forever.” The anger lacing in my words caused him to flinch.
“I didn’t take his soul Pagan, my father did. I had no idea he was going to. Ghede answers to no one within our realm. He makes decisions that please him and he overindulges in anything pleasurable and corrupts enjoyable pursuits, making things that should be good and satisfying into depraved behaviors. Nothing I can say will stop him. I was a child when he asked me to choose a soul. I had no idea what the implications were. I chose you. I didn’t know then what that meant. You can hate me but try to understand I am not my father.”
He may not be his father but he didn’t have the courage to stand up to his father. He was weak but hadn’t I always known that? Even back when I thought he was a human Leif had been weak. He never really accepted the weight of his actions. He always made you feel as if his apology were something precious and special that you would be stupid not to accept. The charisma he’d carried had won him many advances. Who was he exactly? If his father was Ghede then who was Leif?
“Who is your mother?”
Leif paused from fixing his plate. The strawberry in his fingers plopped onto his plate then he sighed wearily before raising his eyes to peer through his long blond eyelashes at me. “My mother is Erzulie, she is the reason my skin is pale and my hair is blond. She’s the Voodoo Goddess of many things. Love being one... vengeance being another. She takes many lovers and enjoys the same things my father does. I see her on occasion but for the most part I live with my father. She has never had any desire for a child but then I’m not her only one. She has several, many of whom walk the earth. She is not above taking human men to her um... bed.”
His mother was a deranged voodoo sex goddess. Great.
I stuffed some pulled pork into a dinner roll and chewed while I let this information sink in. I’d never really questioned his skin color until tonight. When I’d seen that his father was dark brown in coloring it had surprised me. But then I was a little shocked by the wild orgy going on and that kind of took precedence. After taking a long swig of the canned coke Leif had brought me I studied him a moment.
“You don’t talk like your father either. He has a bit of a cajun accent.”
Leif shrugged, “I’ve spent the majority of my life following you. I adopted your accent so I would fit in with your life. I didn’t want to appear to you as an outsider.”
“So all those dreams I’ve had are real? Those things really happened. Are there more memories I’ve forgotten?”
Leif stared intently at the food on his plate. Then managed a small shrug, “Maybe a few more.”
He was lying. He couldn’t even look at me. “A few more? That’s all?”
Setting his plate on the table Leif stood up and began to pace at the end of the bed. I watched as I ate the cheese and crackers on my plate. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like this answer and I decided I’d better eat now before I lost my appetite again.
“I’ve been with you many times in your life. When you were lonely or sad, I was there. When you were in danger, I was there. It was what I did. Father said you were mine and I should protect you. So I did. I’m sorry that you don’t remember. It wasn’t something I did on purpose. It’s just that I am soulless and your soul can’t remember me for long when I’m not near you.”
“Why did you want me to remember those times? The ones you’d picked out for me to dream about?”
Leif stopped pacing and placed his hands on the railing at the foot of the bed. His intense blue eyes bore into me. “Because those were the times I fell a little more in love with you.”
No. Nonononono. I did not want him to love me. I wanted him to let me go. “You don’t love me, Lief. If you loved me you’d never have been able to hold me against my will.”
Leif growled in frustration and threw his hands up, “I’ve told you I can’t control my father. He saved your life. He owns you Pagan.”
“No one owns me.”
Leif shook his head, “I don’t want to argue with you. Not tonight. Let’s just eat. Okay?” he walked back around and picked up his plate.
I finished eating my food until my stomach was finally satisfied and then drank every last drop of my coke. I wasn’t sure how long it would be before I got a chance to eat again. Because there was no possible way I’d go back to that dining room. They could starve me for all I cared.
“Are you full?” Leif asked standing up and stacking our plates on the tray.
“Yes,” that was the only reply he was going to get from me.
He turned to leave then stopped. His shoulders heaved with a heavy sigh and he looked back at me.
“What can I do to prove to you that I do love you? Anything except letting you go; because I can’t. I’ll do whatever else you ask of me. I want you to accept this. Us. Just tell me.”
I stared back at him and I knew what I could do to make my eternity more bearable. “Release Wyatt to a transporter. Don’t keep him here.”
“If I can convince my father to release Wyatt to a transporter then you will
believe I love you and you’ll let this work between us?”
I felt the lump rise up in my throat at the promise I was about to make. I’d be throwing away the small hope that Dank could save me from this. But Wyatt’s soul was at stake because of me. “Yes, if you hand Wyatt’s soul over to a transporter and I get to see this happen. Once I know it has happened and that his soul is where it belongs then I will stay with you. I’ll do whatever I can to make you happy. To make... us... happy.”
Leif’s face broke into a grin for the first time all night, “You have a deal. Get some rest Pagan. Tomorrow is a new day and I can’t wait to start eternity with you.”
I couldn’t agree with him. I’d just shattered my own heart.
Dank
Standing in the crumbling school building left devastated by the tornado that had just taken out an entire town I couldn’t focus on my purpose. I needed to be searching for the entrance to Vilokan. But souls had to be taken. I stalked through the grief stricken building pulling souls from the bodies of children and teachers. Several transporters followed in my wake. Each time I’d pass a child whose soul wasn’t in need of release I was thankful. One more life that had been saved from this tragedy.
I continued on to each building and house no longer counting the souls as I took them. It only took moments and I was then walking across the muddy roads of Nicaragua taking souls from sick women and children who never stood a chance. Cardboard houses and dirt floors littered the land. No clean drinking water for miles. So much poverty here while other places had such an abundance.
Different countries, continents, causes all flashed before me as I snatched souls from bodies. Death happened often. It was a dark void I’d once walked with no joy. Then Pagan had entered my world and she’d made everything right. She’d made the emptiness leave and given me a reason to exist. Now, she was gone. I’d let her down. I’d lost her and I was on the brink of storming the streets of New Orleans and ripping it wide open until I found the portal I was looking for.
“Dankmar,” Gee’s voice called out to me and I spun around from my task and glared at her.
“What?” I snarled angrily. Seeing her only made me remember Pagan. My Pagan.
“Ghede is releasing Wyatt’s soul to a transporter. The Creator has summoned me. He said to alert you and you could choose to do with that information what you liked.”
“Where? When?” I asked as hope soared through my chest.
“Tonight. He wants it done as soon as possible.”
Why? What was his game? “Where?” I demanded.
“Bourbon Street.”
So the portal was on Bourbon Street.
“I need all transporters to go with us. You rally them. I’ll handle the rest.”
Gee ran to keep up with me as I stalked down the street toward the Catholic church where a priest had just ended his life. I’d deal with that soul then I’d call in the troops.
“Why? What’re you gonna do?”
“I’m going to bust Hell wide open. That’s what I’m going to do.”
“You mean Vilokan?”
“Same thing.”
Chapter Twenty- Two
Pagan
I was tired of this room. Even though the nurses were all really nice, I missed my bedroom. I loved my pink fluffy cover and my Bratz dolls. I’d asked mommy if we could go get them but she said it was too far away. She didn’t want to leave me that long and I didn’t want her to be gone long either. Now, that Grandma had gone back home to see her doctor it was just mommy and me. She’d gone to get some coffee and something hot to eat she’d said. I knew she didn’t sleep very good in the chair beside me that turned into a bed. But I was glad she stayed. At night I would get scared. The room was so dark and then sometimes my door would open and no one would be there. Mommy said ghosts weren’t real but I wasn’t so sure.
I missed Grandma already. She read me a story every morning. I wanted to ask mommy to read me a story today but her eyes had looked so sleepy. I reached under my pillow and pulled out the pretty heart shaped pin Grandma had left me. I always loved it when she wore it on her fancy shirts. She said my grandfather had given it to her on their wedding day. He’d told her that now she had his heart. That was a silly thing to say but it sounded kind of sweet. I had it now because I had Grandma’s heart. I could always remember she loved me.
The door opened and in stepped a guy I didn’t know. He wasn’t wearing white or blue so he wasn’t a doctor or a nurse. His dark hair was kind of long in front and it curled a little on the end. Really blue eyes studied me and I stared right back. He had long eyelashes like a girl but he was wearing a black leather jacket and scruffy jeans and a pair of black boots so he wasn’t very girly. Was he somebody’s older brother and he’d got lost?
“Hello Pagan,” he said in a warm deep voice that made me feel at ease.
“Hey. How do you know my name?”
He kind of laughed a little. “Because I’m here to talk to you about something.”
“I’m not supposed to talk to strangers,” I replied shaking my head and pointing my finger toward the door. Mommy would have a fit when she got back and found him in here.
“That’s correct but I’m not exactly a stranger. You’ll be seeing me again soon. I’m here to explain something to you and I need you to listen to me, okay?”
I nodded
“Your body is sick. The doctors aren’t going to be able to make it better. But your body is just a shell. You are a soul. When this body gets too sick the soul will need to leave it and that’s where I come in. I’ll be here to take you out of this sick body and then I’ll give you to a beautiful young girl who will remind you of a fairy princess. She’ll take you to a place where you’ll be given a new body.”
“But how will my mommy know me if I’m in a different body? She just knows this body.”
“That’s true. You see, the life you have now will die. Do you remember when your grandfather died?”
I nodded
“Well, his soul left that body and he was sent up and given a new body. A new life. Your next life your soul will be near your mommy’s soul and the souls of all the people you love. Souls are attached in each lifetime. You won’t remember this life but your soul will remember the souls it loves.”
So I wasn’t going to have to go sit and wait on Mommy up in Heaven? I was going to get to come back and see her again?
“Okay.”
The guy seemed happy with my reply. “Good girl. Now, the next time you see me you’ll know it’s time. You come with me. Don’t try to stay with your body because you want to get another life, okay?”
I didn’t understand really but I nodded. Then I remembered my grandma’s pretty heart. I squeezed it tightly and asked, “Can you take this and give it to me after my soul leaves my body? I want to keep it.”
The guy frowned and reached for the pink heart in my outstretched hand.
“I guess I could do that,” he replied.
I watched as he slipped it into his jeans.
The door opened and in walked my mommy, “Hey sweetheart, I brought you some of that orange juice you like so much,” she said in her happy voice. I glanced up at the guy and he put his finger over his lips and shook his head and then he was gone.
“What is this?” I asked holding up the strange silk gown I’d found on my bed when I’d woken up.
Leif sat down a tray filled with donuts, berries, cream, bagels, cream cheese, and bacon before answering me. “It’s the ceremonial gown you’ll wear tonight.”
“Um no, I want my jeans.”
Leif clenched his jaw and stood up straighter. “No, Pagan you will wear what I tell you to wear. I’m tired of you being so difficult. You agreed that if I made arrangements for Wyatt’s soul to be handed over to a transporter you’d do everything you could to make this work.”
Well, crap. “I didn’t realize you would be picking out my wardrobe from now on is all,” I grumbled and dropped the black gown back t
o the bed and reached for a cream filled donut.
“I know, and normally I won’t be, but there are certain times you must wear certain things. This is one of those times. You’ll be with me as my princess standing with Ghede.”
“But it looks like a nightgown,” I argued.
“It will look lovely on you,” Leif replied.
I glanced back at the piece of offensive silk. Did everything Ghede have his hand in have to be so sexual?
“It will cover you properly. I promise. But you must get comfortable with your flesh. Here it is worshipped and appreciated. There are few who cover it up. The only coverings on the flesh are meant to enhance the attractiveness, not hide it.”
I wanted my jeans. Now. Just hearing him talk about my flesh made my flesh crawl. If he expected me to flash my body for his perverted father he was crazy. I’d agreed to make this work not become a call girl.
“It all just takes some getting used to.”
“When will we be giving Wyatt’s soul to a transporter?” I really wanted a change of subject.
“This evening.”
Good. I had hoped it would be today. Picking up the silver goblet I paused and lifted it toward Leif, “What’s in this?”
“Grape juice. It’s fresh and like nothing you’ve ever tasted,” Leif replied with an amused grin.
Since I was here for eternity I had to start trusting him. I put the cup to my lips and took a tentative sip. The sweet juice hit my tongue and I quickly drank more. He was right. It was like nothing I’d ever put in my mouth. The rich taste awakened my taste buds and I felt a little lightheaded. Warning bells went off in my head and I quickly set the drink down and reached for the bowl of berries.
“It was a sugar rush, Pagan. Nothing more,” Leif said as he reached for his cup.
I wasn’t so sure about that but then I was also paranoid. With good cause.
“Would you like a visit from Wyatt before he leaves?”
