Inside, he hadn’t picked up and things were a little messier than on my previous visit, but it was still impressive with the decor and whatnot. Teeth fell onto the sofa.
“Yeees, they couldn’t figure it out all by themselves, but mean old mister computer told them that the common element in two unsolved murder cases was none other than yours very truly.”
“As we knew it would.”
“I tried to convince them that it was pure coincidence, which they don’t really seem to believe in as a concept. I mean, Tony’s as much of a connection as I am.”
“Tony? Tony the Boulder at the Tip Top?”
He smiled. “Tony the Boulder — that’s cute.”
“What’s Tony got to do with it?”
“He’s the one got me the job at the Tip Top — you know, because of his sister.”
“His sister?”
“Aggie. Aggie Donne. She worked at the GIMH when I did. We were pretty tight. I think she got fired on account of me. I mean, she was always defending me, God bless her twisted little self. Anyway, when I got the ax she called up her bro and got me my current position.”
“Augusta Donne is Tony the Boulder’s sister?”
“I figured you knew that.” He shifted and sat up — even smiled. “You know, I thought about you after you left the other day.”
“No. I didn’t know.”
“I was on a different shift than Scooter and all most of the time, but I thought we’d met.”
“And had we?”
“I finally remembered. You’re Neena’s ex!”
“Okay, maybe I am.”
“And the guy I bit? That got me fired? He was bothering Neena, like grabbing her leg or something, and she bopped him one in the gonads.”
“This I believe.”
“Which just made him madder, so we had to send in the Calvary.”
“Cavalry.”
“What’d I say?”
“You said the hill where Christ was crucified — but I’m guessing you meant some kind of mounted troops.”
“You read me like a book.”
“Maybe.”
“Men on horseback.” And he gave me a little fake shiver.
“Look. Don’t joke around like this with the cops. They don’t have a sense of humor like I do.”
“I’ve never seen you laugh once in our entire acquiantanceship.”
“I’m laughing on the inside.”
“Where it counts.”
“Precisely. Now, just once more — I’m slow — Augusta Donne is…”
“…none other than the sister of Tony Donne, the big old bouncer at the Tip Top amusement emporium. You are kinda slow.”
“That’s what everybody thinks. But it’s deceptive.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Really.”
“I have a million questions.”
He settled back down on the sofa. “Fire away.”
“Let’s start, just for hazard sake, with the concept of Augusta Donne being ‘her twisted little self,’ shall we?”
He squinted. “Why?”
“Humor me, why don’t you?”
He shrugged. “Whata ya wanna know?”
“What was her problem?”
“Ssss. Problems. Plural.”
“Okay, start from the top.”
“Well, you know about her and Lenny by now, I’m guessing.”
“Tell me.”
“They did the dance of forbidden love in the X-ray room every chance they got.”
“The lambada?”
“Right.”
“Says who?”
“Moi, to name but a few. I caught ’em at it. It was pretty amusing, really.”
“What were they doing, no kidding?”
Teeth spread out on the sofa, very divalike. “W-w-w-well. Aggie and I had quite a few conversations ’round midnight — working the night shift at a looney bin, you know, prompts a certain kind of rhetoric.”
“I’m hip.”
“We talked a lot about the kind of stuff Ruby and I were into. She seemed to know all about it, but from a more intellectual place than us. We were very spiritual about it all.”
“And Aggie was into it too, only from a different school of thought.”
“School of thought indeed. Anyway, that’s the sort of thing she and Lenny were doing.”
“What sort of thing, actually?”
“You know: the odd postures, the chanting, the special breathing exercises, in one nostril, out the other, sending out your kundalini or whatever.”
“I have images in my head I wish weren’t there.”
“Try finding them doing ‘the intertwined serpents’ in an X-ray room sometime — you’ll wanna shower for a week. But she thought it would help him. And, actually, it seemed to.” He shrugged.
I squinted. “Is that all?”
“All that made Aggie weird? Not by a long shot.”
“So do go on.”
“She nutty in her brain thingamajig.”
“To use a technical psychological term.”
“Uh-huh. It was like some god-awful childhood thing, but it gave her, like, a short-term-memory problem. Had a problem with reality, not that uncommon.”
“I don’t even remotely understand.”
“She remembered stuff wrong — or weird.”
I shrugged.
Teeth shrugged right back. “I guess you’ll have to ask Tony if you want the full treatment about that. But it really bugged her, you know? She was sore about it all the time. Said it kept her out of medical school where she should have been, because she couldn’t read right. She was always talking about how much more money she could have made if she’d been a doctor instead of a nurse’s assistant.”
“Money?”
“The subject came up a lot. And we were always joking around about how some of the patients were loaded and didn’t have the sense to know it, and how we were completely sane and didn’t have the money to spend.”
“And how unfair that was.”
“Tragic, really.” He waved his arm grandly. “You see how fabulous my taste is.”
“Any patient in particular?”
He sighed. “Oh, she knew all right, but she wouldn’t say. She was very ethical when it came to patient files or anything like that. It was maddening. Next question.”
“Getting impatient?”
He looked away. “I’m a little nervous about the police coming to visit, yes.”
“You don’t wanna skip?”
“What’s the point? They’d find me eventually, don’t you think?”
“Okay. The next question is about the night you bit the guy and it all came down for you: Set up the scene for me.”
“Early evening. Neena was playing chess with this guy, and Lenny was standing right next to her and they were talking up a storm. I didn’t hear what they were saying, but it was very animated. Then the guy she was playing chess with got cheesed because Neena was beating him and not even paying any attention to him, you know, talking to Lenny and all. So he began touching her inappropriately…”
“…and she bopped him…”
“…in the nuts, so the guy went off like a rocket. Sacked Lenny; took out Scooter; broke a nurse’s leg. I got ahold of the arm he was using to swing at Neena and just took a little nip…”
“…and he calmed right down.”
“With the help of a little elephant tranquilizer from Aggie’s magic syringe. I think that’s how she and Lenny met, actually.”
“Which nurse?”
“Which nurse what?”
“Broke her leg. Not Donna?”
“Yeah, I think so — Donna. Yeah.”
“And?”
“And the guy sobers up the next day and turns out to be one of the rich brat types we were just talking about. He calls his lawyer. They get the impression I’m gay, and suddenly there’s a battery of testing could choke Johns Hopkins — “
“He was thinking, like, AIDS?”
&nb
sp; He was very quiet. “See. I knew you weren’t as slow as you pretended to be.”
“And?”
“And what? I was clean. But does that keep our hero from losing the job?”
“So it wasn’t just the bite…”
He eyes me with a full intent. “No. It was not just the bite. A hundred years ago they would have hunted me down in my crypt at night and driven a wooden stake through my heart.”
“Or at the very least they woulda had the garlic toast for lunch.”
He rolled his eyes.
I sat back in my chair. “So Aggie feels sorry for you and calls up her brother.”
“Yeah. You know, how did you think a guy went from mental-ward orderly to necked-club bouncer? It’s not a logical career change.”
“Luckily, you had the right connections.”
He smiled. “I am moving up in the world, don’t you think?”
“You seem to like your work.”
“What did you think of the place? I’m assuming you’ve been there now.”
“I found it a little depressing, actually.”
“And what nightclub isn’t?”
“Dally’s place.”
“Easy? Okay, I’ll give you that.”
“It’s homey.”
“Not likely — but it’s not depressing.”
There was a sudden harsh pounding on the door. The voice beyond was very cold. “Open up. Police.”
I stood.
Teeth flopped off the sofa and straightened his shirt. “How do I look?”
“Get your shoes on.” I smiled calmly. “I’ll see who it is.”
He went for the loafers. I went for the door. Before I could get to it, there was more pounding. When I flung it open the guy nearly fell in onto the rug.
He whipped himself up and shot me a look like out of a small-caliber handgun. “Horatio Nathaniel Thomaston?”
“Nope.”
He started in the door, but I blocked him and spoke very, very politely. “I’m sorry, Officer, but could I see just a moment of identification, please?”
He squinted at me like I was the worst news he’d heard in a month. But he held up his shield. I stepped away from the door.
He put his billfold back. “You the lawyer?”
I smiled bigger. “Do you have a warrant?”
The guy behind him smiled back, colder than chrome, and flashed the warrant for Teeth’s arrest. I didn’t have a chance to read the details.
The first guy shoved his hands in his overcoat pockets. “Your client ready?”
“Mr. Thomaston is just getting his shoes on, and he’s eager to cooperate in clearing up any questions you might have.”
“We want to ask Mr. Thomaston a few questions in connection with two current murder investigations, so if you’ll hurry him along…”
And on cue, Teeth appeared. Overcoat on, polished loafers, every hair in place. He looked like a million bucks.
The first policeman looked at me. “Will you be joining us?”
“No, sir. I’m just a friend. But I’m certain Mr. Thomaston will be wanting to call his lawyer — strictly as a formality, of course — before he answers any of your questions.”
And I saw Teeth nod, getting what I was saying. The guy with the warrant stepped up to me. “You’re not his lawyer?”
I shook my head. “I never said I was.”
He got his face as close to mine as he could. I think he actually had eaten garlic toast for lunch. “Then why am I talking to you?”
I knew better than to say anything. This guy was one of those cops who’d pop you for a quarter…or lay off you for a buck. Every town’s got some, I guess.
His cohort got ahold of his arm. “Come on, Tommy.”
He shoved up against me. “No — you’re not his lawyer, so why am I even talkin’ to you, man?” He shot a look at the other guy could pop a tick. “Let’s take him in too.”
Policeman Number One shook his head. “What for? Just get Mr. Thomaston into the car.” And then he looked at me. “You’ll be leaving now.”
I nodded. “Absolutely.”
As I walked by Tommy he hissed at me, I swear to God, like a weasel, and whispered, “Faggot.”
I turned to him very deferentially. “I’m sorry, sir. Maybe I didn’t hear you right.”
Policeman Number One interrupted Tommy before he could repeat himself. “Would you please get Mr. Thomaston in the car?”
I looked at Number One. “Maybe I’m a little hard of hearing. I was in the service.” I jerked around to face Tommy. “When, I’m guessing, you were in grammar school, I was in a place called Teh Peth, and a big old grenade went off close to me and popped one of my eardrums and paralyzed me for two days. I couldn’t move, and I was lying in swamp water up to my neck. Part of my scalp was being slowly eaten away by mosquito larvae. I was in so much pain I actually had to take my mind out of my body for a while. I can do that. I put it in an egret that was standing nearby. Every so often the egret would fly up and scout out the surroundings. About the end of the second day it saw some GIs, and I took my mind back out of the egret and into my body and called for help, or I would have died. Ever since then I can make my mind do remarkable things. I can see visions and dream dreams. At the moment I’m seeing you in a very uncomfortable medical procedure removing the top of your pate from the depths of your buttalogical area. And by the way, if you do anything — and I mean anything — to make Mr. Thomaston the least little bit uncomfortable, you’ll hear from so many Boston lawyers you’ll think you have expired and gone to Jimmy Hoffa’s personal hell. Now, since I don’t actually think anything’s wrong with my hearing — if you have something to say to me, why don’t you try it again?”
But Tommy was momentarily at a loss for words. In an effort to save the day, Teeth shoved his way past everyone and out toward the police car. As he stepped out the door he whispered, “My hero.”
Number One looked at me very evenly. “Always nice to meet a fellow veteran. Now, really — you’ll be leaving.”
And I was out the door immediately behind Teeth, quicker than you can say “accessory after the fact.”
Chapter 14: Brothers and Sisters
I was on my way to the Tip Top even before I got in my car. The police pulled out of Teeth’s driveway, headed toward downtown. I was still a little hot and not thinking completely, but Tony the Boulder was the brother of Augusta Donne. I think in a world where that’s the case, I can be allowed a little fuzzy thinking.
All the way over to the other side of town I was thinking: What if Augusta was there at the club; what if she was staying with Tony; what if Tony was the one who killed the girls — and masterminded his sister’s play for Lenny’s money, and set up Teeth, and killed Ruby?
I have to say the place looked different by the time I got there. It was even shabbier than before — and it had started to drizzle. I got out of the car, one of only five or six in the lot, and walked a little slowly into the club.
There he was at the door. I saw him before he saw me.
‘Tony.”
He looked up just with his eyes from the book he was reading. “Flap.”
“What’s up?”
“My I.Q. since I been readin’ this thing here.” And he held up the book, A Brief History of Time, by Stephen Hawking. “You read it?”
I shook my head. “I’m waiting for the long version.”
“You bein’ back so soon bodes ill, I fear.”
“The cops got Teeth.”
“As we suspected they might.”
“Yeah, but not before he told me some news. I’d like to discuss a little something.”
He set his book down and settled in his chair, locking eyes with me.
But I shook my head. “Not here in the doorway. Got a little more privacy? It concerns a loved one.”
“Yours or mine?”
“Yours and Lenny’s.”
He stayed frozen with me for a second, and I got my footing under me
in case I needed to jump backward and run to my car. I was in no kind of shape to tangle with a guy like Tony — ever. Not even in the younger days.
Finally he leaned forward to stand up. “Ah.”
He whirled around and headed into the dungeon of shame. I followed, slowly.
The place was dead. One of the girls was going through the motions for two high-school-looking boys at the edge of the runway, a couple of other guys here and there, and some fat old blond guy in the back. The music was ear-splitting. I followed Tony behind the bar into an office the size of a closet. He closed the door and the music was remarkably muffled.
He sat and pressed his fingers together like a priest. “So, Teeth has now led you to the conclusion that I may be the true connection between the events you are investigating.”
“Do you actually know everything, or is there a limit to your clairvoyance?”
“I actually know everything.”
“Who’s the new Panchen Lama?”
“The new who?”
“In Tibet.”
“Ya got me.”
“Ah.”
“Okay, so I know everything about some things, and nothin’ about others.”
“An all-or-nothing guy.”
“That’s me.”
“So I’m looking for the all about your sister Augusta.”
There it was. No bones. Cards on the table. Either he was going to tell me or he was going to shoot me. Whichever way it went, my troubles were made easier.
He sat back in the chair. “You gotta believe me, Flap, I had no idea you’d be interested in Aggie. She’s got nothing to do with the missing girls or Ruby, honest.”
“Tony, I got a story for you, if you wanna listen — but it’s not that good for you or your sister at the moment.”
“I always like a story in which I have a personal stake.”
“I’m looking for Augusta Donne. That’s my real case. The girls here, and Ruby and all, that’s just a strange, potential connection, maybe. I was hired by Lenny Cascade.”
He looked down. “Oh.”
“So you see that your sister has everything to do with the reason I’m here. And you see that you yourself are as much of a connection between all these events as Teeth. And you see that currently you’re number one on my list if anybody should ask who I think — as they say in the genre — done it, because you’re protecting your sister or you’re in cahoots with her or something.”
Easy (A Flap Tucker Mystery Book 1) Page 12
