Dane's Storm

by Mia Sheridan

  “I mean . . . we both need a good night’s sleep. You have to fly tomorrow, and I want to be”—I cleared my throat—“well rested . . .” God, this was terrible and awkward and despite the fact that I knew I was doing the right thing, it hurt. Even letting Dane in this much hurt. That on its own was clear proof that to let him in any more would destroy me . . . again. My very soul cowered at the thought. And I could see he was wrestling with his own thoughts about what we’d done. We could both use some space from each other to work things through.

  Did space help you work things through before? But that was different, and I pushed the question from my mind.

  Dane stood, buttoning his shirt as he stared at me. He leaned forward, took my chin in his hands and kissed me, his lips lingering on mine. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, and then he turned and walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. I collapsed back on the bed, curling into a ball. Too much, too much, it was all just too much. I was too weak when it came to Dane Townsend. Never again, Audra. After tonight, never again.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Then . . .

  Audra yawned as she walked sleepily down the hallway, thirst having woken her from a deep sleep. She put her hand on her belly, feeling the small curve and smiling to herself. She had just started feeling the tiny fluttery kicks of the baby moving inside her. Right now he or she was sleeping.

  The low hum of voices caught her attention and she frowned, pausing and turning toward the office. Dane had stayed up to work on a paper for one of his classes, but she couldn’t imagine who he was talking to. Turning, she headed in the direction of the second bedroom they’d turned into an office, but paused when she heard her name in Dalila’s voice. “Does Audra know?”

  She paused, hesitant about eavesdropping, but too curious to stop herself. Did she know what?

  “No.”

  “God, Dane, you can’t begin a marriage on a lie. How’s she going to feel when she finds out you kept this from her?”

  Audra’s skin prickled and alarm bells began to ring deep inside.

  Dane groaned. “I know. I’m going to tell her. But she’s pregnant and Audra . . . God, Audra’s going to blame herself.”

  Oh God. Oh no. She sagged against the wall and let it hold her up. He’d lied to her?

  “It was your dream to run the business, though, Dane. If anyone is suited for it, it’s you. And it’s rightfully yours. What is wrong with Grandmother? I’ve never known her to despise anyone as much as she despises Audra. I don’t get it. But to cut you off, take away your future, your dream . . .”

  There was only silence from within the room for a moment and then Dane said, “It is . . . was my dream. But Audra is more important to me. I’ll get a good job somewhere else once I graduate. We may not live in luxury like the rest of the Townsends, but I’ll live knowing I made the honorable choice. I think Dad would agree.”

  Honorable? Tears welled in Audra’s eyes, and she felt like she’d sag to the floor. He’d given up the family legacy that was rightfully his—the chance to make that contribution that was so important to him—because of honor? Because he’d gotten her pregnant and done the right thing? His grandmother had cut him off for it, and he’d never told her. Bile rose in her throat, but she swallowed it down. She knew Dane loved her. She didn’t doubt that. But she would have never let him make that sacrifice had she known, just as he said.

  I heard Dalila sigh. “So, no California. Selfishly, I’ll be happy to have you two close by so I can spoil my niece or nephew in person.”

  “I think Audra will be happier here too,” Dane said after a short pause. “She can visit her dad as often as she wants. It was hard for her to put him in a facility. She’s the only one who’s cared for him her whole life.”

  “How are you paying for the care facility?”

  “Mom gave me the money she was going to spend on Stanford and said I could use it the way I wanted to. Colorado State is a fourth of the cost. I’m using the rest to pay for Audra’s dad’s care, and I spent some of it on a building Audra’s going to turn into a gallery. I don’t want her to give up her dreams too, just because of our baby.”

  Give up her dreams, too.

  Like he had. Audra felt like a weight was pressing on her chest, and she brought her hand to it.

  “Isn’t there something Mom can do?”

  Audra heard Dane sigh. “I love Mom, but her against Luella? Seriously?”

  Dalila made a small sound in her throat that Audra barely heard. “Yeah, you’re right.” She paused. “Still, I know she’d give you more money now if you need it.”

  “No,” Dane’s voice sounded harsh. “No,” he repeated, more gently. “I’m a married man with a kid on the way. Taking what would have been my tuition to Stanford is one thing, but I’m not going to let Mom pay my bills. An old friend of Dad’s offered me a position in the mailroom of his company while I’m in school.”

  “The mailroom?” Dalila asked. Audra could hear the note of disappointment in her voice and she winced. There was a pause and Dalila sighed. “At least you’ll still get your trust fund once you turn twenty-five.”

  Audra heard Dane make a scoffing sound and she cringed, laying her cheek against the cool surface of the wall. “I’m sure Luella will find a way to rescind that as long as I’m still married to who she perceives as the wrong girl.”

  Luella’s words came back as sharp arrows to Audra’s heart.

  “Townsends are expected to keep company with a certain . . . quality of people.”

  The wrong girl.

  “Dane may do as he pleases in private and behind closed doors, but in public, such . . . things will not be tolerated.”

  The wrong girl.

  I was the wrong girl for Dane and always would be.

  Dane and Dalila were both quiet for a moment as Audra’s heart silently broke outside the partially opened office door. Finally, she heard Dalila say, “I don’t know, big bro, they say honesty is the best policy.”

  Dane sighed. “Maybe. But, fuck, I needed some time to come to terms with it myself first. When Audra told me she was pregnant, everything, my whole damn future went up in smoke. That’s not something that’s easy to swallow. I haven’t worked out what to say.”

  “My whole damn future went up in smoke.” Audra could barely breathe. She turned, stumbling toward their bedroom, her heart in her throat. Dane had let his entire future slip right through his fingers, and in that moment, she was angry that he hadn’t told her what marrying her forced him to give up, but mostly, she hated herself for the sacrifice he’d had to make. It wasn’t fair or right. He’d given up his whole life . . . for her. She placed her hand on her growing belly. For them.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Dane

  Now . . .

  The next morning was cold and rainy, gray clouds filling the sky. As I drove to Audra’s hotel to pick her up, my mind was still consumed with what happened the night before . . . the date, spending time with her, the roller coaster of emotions she inspired in me, and then the way I’d felt as she’d jogged across the street, back to her hotel room alone. Watching her walk away, into that shithole of a building, had done something to me. It had honestly felt like a punch in the gut. I’d felt angry, rattled . . . possessive. Slightly crazed if I was being totally honest with myself. She’d been my wife. And I was well aware that was no longer the case, and still, my heart yearned to protect her. Letting her walk into that building alone had felt wrong and I’d lost a little control.

  The way she’d been standing against the wall inside as if she’d had to take a moment to collect herself too. As if she had been as affected by our time together as I had been, despite her earlier words to the contrary. And the look on her face, the moment I saw the stark relief in her eyes, a moment of joy that I’d come after her . . . it had undone me completely. I’d been like a madman, so eager to get inside her body, to claim her in some way—any way—I hadn’t stopped to consider
how she’d react afterward. That it would only make her that much more eager to part ways, to put more emotional and physical distance between us.

  But didn’t I want that too? She’d divorced me, walked away. Even when I’d asked her to give it more time, she’d been completely resistant, cold and seemingly emotionless.

  So why had I felt a painful tightening in my chest watching her walk away a second time? Yesterday, I’d thought I’d never see Audra again. And now, one night with her and I was questioning everything. Is that true, Dane? Or had I been questioning things for a while now . . . ever since Winnie and that damn ring I’d had no desire at all to slip on her finger?

  So different from the eager buzz of joy that had consumed me when Audra had worn my ring. But I’d been a kid then, and over the years, I’d convinced myself that nothing would ever feel as strong, as all-consuming, as it had with Audra because she’d been my first love.

  Ah God, but the way it’d felt to hold her again, to taste her soft lips, to feel the bliss of her tight inner muscles wrapped so snugly around me. I’d loved the sound of her small gasps and moans, my name falling from her lips, to see the way she blossomed—let go—when she was in the throes of passion. It was intense and beautiful and I fucking loved it.

  Still.

  And no doubt . . . always.

  I let out a hiss through my teeth. It was too damned early for this.

  I pulled up in front of Audra’s hotel, where she was already waiting outside under the small, torn awning. I jumped out, coming around the car and meeting her on the sidewalk. “Hey, I would have come inside to get you. You didn’t have to wait in the rain.”

  She shook her head, glancing at me a little nervously, as if she hadn’t known what my mood would be when I arrived. “I wasn’t waiting long. And I preferred to get out of there into the fresh air.” She wrinkled her nose, obviously referring to the strange smell that hung in the air inside the hotel.

  “I don’t blame you.” I smiled wryly as I picked up her suitcase and placed it in the trunk of my car next to my bag. I’d be staying in Colorado for a week where I knew it would be freezing, so I’d packed a suitcase full of my warmest clothes—thankfully I still had some. Northern California didn’t call for many winter items, but I had plenty of cold-weather gear for skiing.

  I opened the passenger-side door for Audra who slid in, and then I went around the car and took the driver’s seat. She was wearing jeans, short boots and a thick sweater but she rubbed her hands together as if she was cold, so I turned up the heat a bit. “There’s coffee on the plane in case you haven’t had any yet.”

  She nodded. “Great. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” So this was how it was going to be. We were back to polite strangers despite making love the night before. I got on the freeway, headed toward the small airport where my plane was hangared.

  After a minute, she glanced at me. “So, um, I didn’t ask you how you earned your pilot’s license.”

  “Actually, I’d thought about doing it for years. When I turned twenty-five, I decided to give myself a birthday present. Bought the plane and enrolled in pilot classes.”

  “Your twenty-fifth birthday,” she murmured. “So, ah, you’ve been flying for almost three years now. You’re a trustworthy pilot, I’m hoping.”

  I breathed out a small laugh. “Yes, you can trust me. I’ve flown to Colorado several times over the years, and in the winter, I fly to Lake Tahoe almost every weekend.”

  She nodded, her hands clasped in her lap, knuckles white. Was she really scared to let me fly her home? I reached over, my own hand easily covering both of hers. “Hey, seriously, you’re safe with me. I won’t let anything happen to you. I can’t promise there won’t be a few spots of bumpy air, but that’s expected.” I tilted my head, glancing at her again as I pulled my hand away. “Had you flown before this?” The last time I’d seen her, she’d never been out of Colorado.

  “No. A couple of days ago was the first time I’d ever been on an airplane. I didn’t like it much. But I’m sure . . . I’m sure it will be better on a smaller plane—more room and all that.”

  “It is roomier, but you can feel the bumps more easily. How about a splash of Bailey’s in your coffee?”

  She laughed softly, looking at me a little shyly, and my heart tripped. Dammit. My hands clenched on the steering wheel.

  I’d gone home the night before, tense and upset, even though I’d had one of the strongest orgasms of my life, and hadn’t fallen asleep until almost dawn as I’d tossed and turned and gone over and over our date and all that we’d talked about. And yet, despite my sleepless night, I wasn’t upset with Audra. Other than the confirmation that we were still deeply attracted to each other, what our interaction the night before had told me was that Audra bristled every time I mentioned the past. She wouldn’t talk about that time, because if she did, she’d have to talk about Theo too, and I had the feeling she still couldn’t. And though I’d tried to resent her for that, to make it easier to watch her walk away again, the realization that she avoided the topic spoke to the fact that she was still hurting deeply. All these years, and her pain was still raw.

  It was drizzling lightly again when we pulled into the airfield and after I’d parked, I grabbed my umbrella from the backseat, walking quickly around the car as I opened it. I pulled Audra’s door open and she stepped out and under the small covering. I retrieved her suitcase and my duffle bag and pulled up the handle on hers, pulling it along behind us.

  My plane was on the field as I’d instructed, and I greeted Dean, the maintenance guy, as we approached. “All ready to go?”

  “Yup. Looks great.”

  “Thanks, Dean. This is Audra Kelley. She’ll be flying with me today.” I handed her the umbrella so she could use it as she climbed the stairs.

  Dean greeted her and then took her bag from my hand. “I’ll get this. You hold on as you go up the stairs, Ms. Kelley. It’s slippery this morning.”

  “Thank you,” she said, as she began climbing the steps to the plane, one hand holding the umbrella and the other on the rail. Dean followed her up and I waited as he descended. “Have a safe trip, Mr. Townsend.”

  When I got inside, Audra turned around, obviously having been checking the plane out. “This is just a little nicer than the one I came here in.” She smiled, but with a little bit of awe that made me smile in return.

  “Thanks. I’m glad you like it. I’m both your captain and your crew, and I’ll try to serve both roles well.” I winked at her and she laughed. “I’ll start by making some coffee.”

  I brewed a pot at the small kitchen station at the back of the plane and Audra and I chatted a little about the aircraft as I completed the task. I poured two paper cups and then walked to the front where there was a small bar, taking out the bottle of Baileys and adding a splash to Audra’s coffee, placing lids on both. As I handed Audra her cup, I asked, “Do you want to sit up in the cockpit with me?”

  She looked momentarily surprised, her eyes lighting. “Can I do that?”

  “Yeah.” I smiled. God, she was sweet. “I’d like your company.”

  Audra nodded, taking the olive branch I had offered, our eyes meeting for a moment as all the swirling thoughts whipped through my mind. “I’d like to sit in the cockpit with you.”

  Fifteen minutes later, I’d double-checked all the numbers and readings and Audra and I were buckled in, me in the pilot’s seat, and Audra in the copilot’s chair. I fired up the engines and put my sunglasses on.

  As we taxied down the runway, I looked over at Audra and noticed that she was gripping her armrests, her shoulders rigid. I gave her a reassuring smile. “Look, the rain’s cleared just for us. See those blue skies beyond the clouds?”

  Her eyes snagged with mine, and for just the fraction of a moment, the world stopped. Her lips tipped up in a tremulous smile, all her sweetness and vulnerability right there in her expression, and my guts clenched with that old familiar need to protec
t her. Love her. Oh Christ. I managed a smile of my own before focusing back on the task at hand: getting this plane off the ground.

  I increased the speed and lifted off smoothly, the plane rising swiftly into the winter sky. I heard Audra take in a small, surprised breath that held the hint of a laugh. I grinned over at her and, though her hands were still gripping the arms of her chair, her shoulders were more relaxed. She laughed again, a bigger one, her teeth flashing.

  I spent the next ten minutes or so climbing to flying altitude and explaining to Audra what I was doing, showing her which dials indicated what and the actual simplicity of flying.

  We chatted easily for a little while, and then Audra took her lip into her mouth the way she did when she was thinking, tilting her head. “So, um, are you going to talk to your grandmother as soon as we get to Laurelton? Today? Or do you think tomorrow would be better?”

  “I planned on today, yes. There’s no reason to put it off. I’ll drop you off at your house and come over to let you know what she said after I’ve spoken to her.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to come over. You can just call me. I mean, it’s incredibly generous what you’re doing, but I don’t want you to have to go out of your way.”

  My jaw felt tight and I made a conscious effort to relax. “All right then. I’ll call you and give you an update. I’m also going to talk to my lawyer and find out what we need to do to make sure Luella can’t try something like this again.”

  “Thank you, Dane. Seriously.”

  I nodded. We were silent for a couple of minutes, the low hum of the plane soothing my frazzled nerves. I felt like some strange clock was ticking down—the time I had with Audra I supposed—and I had a narrow opportunity for . . . something. Only I couldn’t figure out what the fuck that might be.

  We hit a small bump and Audra sucked in a breath. “Just a little rough air. It’ll probably get slightly choppy as we fly over the mountains. Totally expected, okay?”