by Maren Smith
“Please what?”
“Please make me come, Sir?”
“Yes, but only because you asked so nicely.” Troy got back into his previous position. He delved his tongue in and out of her pussy, kissing and sucking while she moaned. He slipped his fingers into her slit, and then trailed his tongue upward until he reached her hot button. She came hard, screaming his name, and begging shamelessly for him to fuck her.
He climbed on top of her, straddling her hips and then giving her a moment to catch her breath. “Whatcha whistling, Dixie?”
“Ode to Troy,” she smirked. “It’s my favorite song.”
“Is that so?” He planted a kiss on her shoulder. “I’m surprised you still know the melody.”
“Of course.” She ran her hands up his arms, loving how his muscles felt. She wanted to lick them, bite them, explore all the spots she hadn’t touched in so long, but he captured her wrists and pinned them above her head. Troy yanked a spare piece of jute out from under her, looped her hands together, and then secured them to the headboard. She hadn’t noticed it earlier, but all the pretty metal swirls were the perfect anchors for rope. The knots weren’t tight, but she was restrained nonetheless.
“So, what do you want, hot stuff?” He grinned down at her and then climbed off of the bed. He made a show of removing his A-line tank and shucking out of his cargo pants. She practically drooled as she eyed the cut of his abs. Dakota licked her lips when she saw the clear outline of his erection pressed against his black boxer briefs before he stripped them off as well.
“I want you inside of me. Please, Sir?” She pouted slightly, hoping he would give in quicker this time.
Troy quirked a smile as he returned to her. He raised one of her legs, setting her ankle on his shoulder. “Say it louder.”
She pursed her lips and struggled against the rope holding her arms up. “I can’t—” He pinched the soft skin at the juncture of her ass and thigh and she squirmed. Endorphins rushed through her, and she couldn’t quite decipher if it was more pain than pleasure or vice versa. Either way, she was pushing against what he’d ordered her to do. Troy raised her other leg, and repeated the gesture with more pressure. “Fuck!”
“What was that?”
“I’m sorry. Please, just please fuck me, Sir!”
Troy gave in to her aggressive plea without preamble, and slid his hardness into her heated core. Holy hell. She missed this. It was more than just his cock pumping in and out of her. She missed his dominance in the bedroom, the only place he truly showed it to her all those years ago. He took her fast, his balls slapping a rhythmic beat against her soft skin as he pounded her into the mattress. Dakota begged for him to release her arms so she could touch him, stroke him, anything involving her fingers, but he left the ties in place, denying her the right. She deserved that and probably had to earn it back by keeping her promises. An orgasm rolled over her, but before she could hit another her feet were set down. A pillow appeared under her hips, propping them up and Troy entered her again, changing the angle. Dakota screamed in pleasure. The intensity drove her wild. He hit bundles of nerves she didn’t know she had, or at least ones she didn’t remember having. He knew just how to take care of her. She told him as much, but a lot of compliments came out in between panting breaths.
“You all right, sweetheart?”
“Yes, yes,” she assured him through great gasps of air. “Please keep going.”
He kissed her, cupping her face and it truly made her come undone. She moaned into his mouth as he came inside of her, reaching his own peak. Troy crashed into her, breathing hard and sweating, as he came down from his release. Her pleasure always came first in his book. He spoiled her rotten. She wouldn’t forget that this time. He reached up to the headboard and freed her arms, rubbing them up and down to get her blood circulating again. Troy pulled her close to him, and snaked one of his arms under her head. She cuddled against his chest, staring up at him. Why she had let herself waste so many years without him?
“I love you.” The words bubbled out between her lips without thinking of the potential rejection. Dakota hoped one day he would truly forgive her, but it still seemed like a long shot.
“I’m glad you’ve finally remembered that,” he replied, groggy from his own bliss. “I love you more.”
“I’ll let you believe it for now.” Dakota kissed his shoulder intending to elaborate, but her dreams beckoned to her, and she fell fast asleep with a smile playing on her lips, content for the first time in years.
Chapter Four
Five years earlier…
Dakota threw her hands in the air. She couldn’t stand being around Troy anymore. Her hold on their relationship slipped sometime after his third surgery. She didn’t feel strong enough to be his rock and her own at the same time. Dakota leaned heavily on his mother, but as of late Dakota was pulling away from her too. Multiple mistakes all in a row at work on top of the delicate balance of things at home left no wiggle room. She’d kill for a bottle of tequila, instead she took her frustrations out on Troy. They had been fighting for the better part of an hour, but most of it consisted of her snapping at him. He had the patience of a saint, and never raised his voice.
“You almost lost your leg and your life overseas. Did you forget? How the hell can I compete with Daniella? She experienced something I can’t relate to.”
“This isn’t a competition, Dixie. I’m married to you. I love you.” He rubbed the back of his neck, some frustration peeking through despite his normally cool demeanor. “Do you know what got me out of the pit I was stuck in?”
“Gee, babe. Let me guess? Daniella pulled you out.”
“No, not physically, sweetheart. I’m talking about the mental pit.” Troy jabbed his fingers through his hair, his level of tolerance dissipating with every push back from her.
He’d been to hell and back, but a fissure cracked in their marriage. She believed the issues to be about her. When he deployed overseas he left a gaping hole of loneliness in her heart.
Six months later, she woke up in a puddle of her own vomit from another blackout drunk night and vowed to stop. Dakota had cut out alcohol altogether but filled the gap with food. She’d eaten her way through his first two-year assignment. When he returned home early in the middle of his second assignment because of the terrible injuries he sustained, that had given her a push to get herself healthier as well as to support him. But her weight yo-yoed along with her confidence level. When she was at the top of her game, she could manage her weight. And yet the past six months pushed the two of them further apart and her weight had skyrocketed. She hadn’t been small when she’d met him all those years ago at the bar, but their marital stress packed on the pounds. When she saw him and Daniella drinking coffee and walking in the park, it gave her the out she desperately had been hoping for. She wanted this marriage to be over so she didn’t have to face him anymore. Dakota couldn’t support him when she couldn’t take care of herself at the moment.
“Whatever. I bet your girl toy pulled you out of your mental struggles too.” Dakota crossed her arms over her chest.
“No, Dixie. All I wanted to do was get home so I could wrap my arms around you and never let go. I had no idea if I would lose my leg, but I fought to get back home to you. I fought through months of painful therapy, which quickly turned into two years of excruciating treatments. Two years I fought to walk. Do you know why I fought so hard to walk? Because one day if we have kids I want to make sure I could run around after a toddler. I love you with all of my heart.” He sucked in a breath and let it out. “You’ve been acting like you want to throw our relationship away. Am I right? Do you want to throw away five years of marriage because you think I’m cheating on you?” Troy shook his head. “I would never cheat on you.”
“Look at me, Troy,” she snapped. “Look at what I’ve morphed into. I can’t possibly get pregnant with all of this weight on me. Any thoughts of children are moot. Stick to the point.”
Troy had attended weekly support meetings with Daniella that turned into more time spent with the other woman, but even as she brought it to the forefront of her brain, she knew the chances of the two of them hooking up were slim to none. No, the accusation came because Dakota lacked the ability to mend the rift she had created.
“I love you.” He cupped her cheek. “All I see is my beautiful wife standing here with me, but you’ve lost the spark I used to see in your eyes. Let me help you get it back. God knows you’ve been my rock. Let me show you how much you mean to me. Let me show you how much you’ll always mean to me.” Troy kissed her gently but she yanked herself back from him.
“I want a divorce.” Dakota swallowed the lump in her throat, and tears brimmed in her eyes. “I can’t stay with someone who spends so much time with another woman.”
“Daniella is my best friend. Come on, Dakota. You know better. She’s got a new baby on the way. Nate is going through yet another round of radiation treatments as we speak. Do you really think she’s got time to make goo-goo eyes at me?”
His voice held an edge she hadn’t heard before. He seldom used her first name unless he wanted to make sure she heard him. Shit. If Daniella was actually going through what he said, then it made Dakota sound like a grade-A bitch to insinuate a relationship. It also made sense as to why Daniella and Nate hadn’t been over to the house in a while. Still, Dakota had already thrown out the word divorce. It tasted bitter on her tongue, and the thought of it knotted her stomach, but she tossed it out into the argument hoping to end it once and for all. “My decision is final.”
“You need two signatures to finalize a divorce,” he pointed out matter-of-factly. “Plus, I’m finding it strange you throw this at me out of the blue. You never want to spend any time together, but if I go out alone even to a support group, you act furious when I get home. I hear you passively aggressively washing dishes and slamming pots and pans. Where is this really coming from?”
“You’re a lying, cheating bastard and I’ve put up with it long enough.” She could have been referring to herself, save the cheating part. Yes, she had been paranoid about all of the extra time Troy shared with Daniella, but he should have just told her about Nate’s illness. Then again, the two of them barely spoke. She worked enough overtime to keep her out of the house. Forty-five hours a week as a household organizer and ad-hoc interior designer on top of a two-hour commute each day totaled somewhere around sixty hours. Dakota had brushed off her bachelor’s degree in business after she stopped drinking and landed an amazing job with a fairly well known company. She took a leave of absence when Troy returned home, but her job had only given her so much time. It had been stressful to balance her career while taking care of him, but she’d managed.
“I’ve always done right by you. Where is this coming from, Dakota? Answer me.”
“I don’t need to take this anymore. I’ve had it. I’m done.”
“Are you going to stomp your feet and throw a temper tantrum too?”
Her mouth dropped open from his accurate yet hurtful observation. He wasn’t taking her seriously. Though, to be fair, she didn’t sound convincing. He hadn’t lied or cheated on her. Dakota hated the words flying out of her mouth, but she wouldn’t change her course of action.
“I’m not throwing a tantrum!” she screeched. Troy cocked an eyebrow in reply, and she realized her shrill tone sounded very much like an impertinent little girl throwing a fit because she wasn’t getting her way.
“If your head wasn’t in such a scary place, I’d take you over my knee and spank the sass right off your tongue.” He chuckled but it held no amusement. “Scratch that. You want a divorce? Go ahead. Best of luck convincing a lawyer that your wounded Marine vet of a husband somehow had the time to go philandering. Since in my spare time I’m volunteering at various support groups, visiting the local veterans’ hospital, and fighting fires thirty-five hours a week or more. Tell him about all those things. Oh, and make sure you add I did it after doing two and a half years of physical therapy. Go for it.”
“I hate what you’ve done to us, but most of all I hate what I’ve done.” Dakota tugged at the chain around her neck, fiddling with the small heart charm dangling there. Troy gave it to her before he deployed, so she had a symbolic piece of his heart with her at all times. “If you won’t agree to a divorce then I’ll file for a legal separation.”
Troy met the distance between them and clasped his hand over the charm. “What happens if I refuse to sign?”
“I’m afraid it’s not an option. I deserve better.”
“You deserve better? Tell me what you mean.”
“I said my decision is final. Don’t you bully me.”
“I’ve never treated you with anything but respect, Dakota. Toss away your lame attempt to break us up. You know damn well I’ve never paid anyone more attention than I do to you, much less some other woman.”
“You haven’t spent any time with me in months.” She threw out one example but it held no sticking power. Sadly, she knew he knew it too.
“Whose fault is that, honey? You frequently come home sometime around midnight and then you’re back out of the house by five in the morning. If either of us had a reason to suspect infidelity in this relationship, it would be me.”
“I highly doubt it. Look at me and look at you.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “No one would touch me with a ten-foot pole. It’s any wonder why you have for so many years.”
“Don’t you put my girl down. I won’t tolerate it.”
“Your girl hasn’t been yours in a really long time. So, I don’t believe you, Troy. If you refuse to sign the separation then I’ll leave this town. I’ll walk right the fuck out, and you won’t be able to stop me.”
“Well, it makes me sad to hear you say you want to leave, but I’m more upset because you believe the lies you woven into a story for yourself. Let me tell you something, Dixie. You can’t run from yourself. Yeah, you can leave our home. You can even leave this town and all our friends. If you hear nothing else I say, then listen to this. You can’t hide from you, darling. As much as I wish I could convince you to stay, I know deep down that I can’t. So, you do whatever you need but you’re just going to make things harder on yourself.” Troy kissed her forehead, and then her lips. “I don’t mean to cut this short, but I’ve got to go to work. I hope you’re still here when I get home tomorrow morning.”
“Do you really want me to be here?” Her lower lip quivered. “Or are you just saying the words?” Tears trickled down her face, and she sniffled.
“I don’t say anything I don’t mean, Dixie. Just don’t do anything reckless tonight. We can work this out.” He let go of her, and then he left for the firehouse.
She watched him go; the thought of being alone scared her even more than staying, but she couldn’t do this anymore. She needed to figure herself out.
* * *
The memory of their fight flung Dakota back into reality, but his words buzzed along her brain. He had threatened to spank her, but she’d glossed over it. Instead of threatening her, he could have enacted a consequence. No, her brain argued. If Troy had bent her over his lap, she would have cried domestic violence. She’d really fucked things up for no reason. In the end, she hadn’t sought a divorce but instead filed for a legal separation, which turned out to be just as complicated. In the state of good old Montana the only grounds for a legal separation was an irretrievable breakdown of at least six months of the marriage.
Troy took on several night shifts during their last few months together, and it limited their time together even more. What he hadn’t realized was how far down the rabbit hole she’d let herself fall. Dakota had stayed for another month after she accused him of cheating on her, but only long enough to secure a job and an apartment in another state. She left under the guise of working late, and never looked back. Except everything said during the fight came back to haunt her. She couldn’t run from herself, and all her past demons had crashed down
on top of her.
Amelia Channing had saved her again, by being her sole voice of reason during another dark time. She’d never judged, but Troy’s mother gave her a piece of her mind even when she wasn’t asked. Dakota owed a lot to Amelia and even more to Troy. She hoped they would both forgive her.
Grabbing her keys from the table in the rinky-dink motel she’d been staying at, she glanced around once, and then locked the door. She had a hell of a lot to tell her ex-husband, and prayed he would listen to her with an open mind and an open heart.
Chapter Five
Dakota stood awkwardly at the front door of the house she loved. The house she had spent hours and hours planning out every detail down to the throw pillows on the couch and the pottery in the kitchen. She’d picked out the most gorgeous decor even on a budget. Had Troy kept any of the things she’d chosen with such reverence? Gathering courage, she pushed the doorbell.
Troy opened the door about a minute later. He leaned against the frame and looked her up and down. “What’s up, Dixie?”
“I got your messages but I wanted to talk to you in person. I have some things to tell you.”
“Okay, so talk.”
“May I come in?”
“You can, but choose your actions carefully. If you come in here, I won’t let you leave again.” Troy rubbed a hand across the scruff of his beard. “If you can’t accept my terms then whatever you have to say can be said on the porch.”
