by Kira Blakely
The machines next to him were monitoring his heart rate. Judging from the way his heart and blood pressure kept increasing, he felt those words. Even if his bruised face was completely devoid of emotion besides skepticism. Jude was good at masking his emotions when he felt the need to.
“I said that I love you,” I repeated, tilting my chin to look at him. “I’m sorry for what happened in Gypsum. I shouldn’t have pushed you away after you told me that you were going to give up this for me.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” he said flatly. “Do you understand how fucking painful it was to know that you didn’t think it was good enough for me to give all this up for you? I love my life, Ava. This is what I live and breathe for.”
I didn’t point out that this passion was what led him to the hospital bed in the ICU in Chicago. There were a swarm of reporters outside that wanted the latest on his condition. They were starting to pester me, every single time I came down to the kitchen area to grab a cup of coffee. I didn’t even want to think how dreadful I looked on live television when they shoved cameras in my face.
“I realize that,” I said. “It is enough. It’s more than enough. I just didn’t want you to resent the fact that I asked you to give it up.”
Jude settled back against the pillows with a sigh. “You didn’t ask me to give it up, Ava. I was going to give it up anyway.”
“Why?”
“It’s just a bunch of bullshit at this point,” he said. “Endorsement deals. All this crap. I just want to get on that bike and ride. Not anything else.”
I rested a hand on the edge of his hospital bed. “So, do it. I will be understanding of that. I mean, the fans are your biggest support group. I can see that. I wouldn’t ask you to turn your back on them.”
“The media attention is what will push you away,” Jude said coolly. “You can’t handle the attention, Ava. Not like it matters anyway at this point.”
“What is that supposed to mean?’
“It means that this crash scared the shit out of me, okay?” Jude snapped, glaring at me through swollen eyes. “You were right. About all of it. What I do is stupid and dangerous. It damn near killed me out there in the arena three days ago.”
I held steadfast against the anger because I deserved the whiplash of it all. I had hurt Jude in ways he didn’t like. I couldn’t back out because of the intensity of his emotions. I was in love with him. Spending the past three days in the ICU waiting room had solidified that for me. I didn’t want to lose him.
“You are a talented athlete,” I said evenly. “I never doubted that you weren’t capable of doing those stunts out there.”
“I’m lying in a hospital bed. I can see why you doubt me.”
“I didn’t come here to argue with you,” I said, steering away from the topic. “I came here because while you were on that board in the arena, I thought that I’d lost you, the way I lost Andy. I came here to tell you that I love you.”
Jude blinked a few times as he clicked the button to his pain medicine again. I watched as his eyes rolled a bit for a moment before they focused on me clearly.
“And?” He motioned for me to go on. “And you have something else to say, too?”
“I’m sorry for the mixed messages,” I continued, looking down at his bruised hand next to me on the hospital bed. An IV was taped to the back of it. “I shouldn’t have done what I did, and I can understand if you don’t want to give me a second chance to prove how much you really mean to me.”
“Can you understand my skepticism? We’ve been through this a few times. I don’t think I can go through it again.”
“I understand,” I said. “I’m not going to run away.”
“If you do, I won’t chase you, either,” Jude warned, shifting in his bed. “Not again. You walk away from me, don’t expect me to come after you.”
I nodded. I reached for his hand, but he pulled it away to examine the IV there. His face contorted in pain.
“I have to think about everything,” he gritted out, eyes clenched shut. “I just need some time to get my head on straight here.”
“Of course,” I said and fought back the tears in my eyes. I had expected this type of reaction for good reason. “I’ll just go wait out in the lobby until—”
“I have a townhome here, thirty minutes from the hospital,” Jude said abruptly. “I’ll call one of my drivers here in the city to take you there. Get me some clothes and shit. Take a shower yourself because you stink and look like hell.”
The corner of my lips curved at that, while I handed him the phone. I leaned down to press a quick kiss to his scruffy and bruised cheek.
“You look like hell, too,” I said. “I’ll be back in a few hours to see when they plan on releasing you.”
Jude nodded as he reached for the phone. “Don’t think you’re off the hook yet, Ava. I need to think about everything still.”
“I know,” I said.
I stepped out of the hospital room with a relieved breath. I didn’t expect him to welcome me back into his arms, but I could see that look in his eyes. He was relieved to be alive. He was relieved that I was here, even if he didn’t want to say it out loud.
Chapter 33
Jude
I clicked the pain button again after telling one of my drivers to pick up Ava from the hospital to go to my townhome. I needed fresh clothes. I needed a long hot shower to wash the past couple of days away. I waited until the pain in my leg and arm faded away to a pleasant numbness before running my head over my exchange with Ava.
She had come all the way back to Chicago to apologize. To say that she loved me. She had spent the past three days in the hospital waiting room, terrified that I was never going to wake up again.
I found the remote for the television dangling off the side of the hospital bed. I clicked through the channels to ESPN. They were still doing a highlight reel from the Games. I settled against the pillows, watching images of me draped lifelessly on the board while paramedics carried me out of the arena. I didn’t remember any of that part. Fans were on the edge of their seats. There were camera flashes everywhere, which didn’t help my throbbing head.
Motocross star, Jude Jacobs, crashes after a stunt gone wrong. Rumors of alcohol and partying the night before.
I kept the sound muted as I watched the crowd in the arena stare down in horror while the staff of the arena rushed out to lift the bike away from me. My heart pounded as the television cut out to what appeared to be video footage from a fan. I had gripped the handlebars quickly when the bike started to fall away but the front wheel had dug into the dirt. I toppled down over the front of the bike on the side of the hill. I grimaced when my arm twisted around at a bad angle, followed by the bike landing on my thigh as I rolled down the hill.
There was a flurry of movement as the video cut out to commentators talking about it. Then, there were images of Chuck being placed in the back of the police car. His nose was bloody and swollen from where I had punched him in the face. I settled back with a smug grin as he shouted at the camera and policemen. A new headline appeared on the television, followed by a reporter talking outside of the hospital.
What is JJ going to do now?
“That’s a good question,” I said to the television before turning it off with a grimace. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
My career in motocross was over. I knew that it was. Every inch of my body ached, and coming back from this crash would not be like the other times. I no longer had a manager to deal with all the bad press. I knew the officials for the motocross sport were monitoring the news. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had already visited the hospital to confirm the toxicology reports.
The doors to my hospital room opened. Billy stepped inside as the nurse waited for me to nod in approval. She shut the door behind Billy to give us privacy again.
“Man,” Billy whistled, giving me a long look. “You look wrecked, bro. That was a bad fucking crash. You’re lucky to be alive
.”
“No shit,” I said, laughing shortly. “I just watched the footage of it on the television. Looked pretty bad.”
“Take it from someone who was watching it in real time. It was fucking bad. I’m glad you’re okay, though.”
“I’ll be fine. Have any officials come by here that you know of?”
“Three of them did two days ago,” Billy said. “I mean, it’s all over the news that a few fans caught you drinking the night before. They asked all of us what we thought, but I didn’t say anything.”
I patted Billy on the hand as I clicked the pain button. Numbness washed over me again.
“You don’t have to lie for me,” I said. “It’s my fault for letting my demons get in the way of my game. Don’t worry about me.”
“You’re thinking they won’t let you race again?”
“They’d be stupid if they let me. Think about it.” I glanced down at my bruised thigh pointedly. “They don’t want to send a message to people that this is okay. You know?”
Billy nodded. “I suppose. What are you going to do now?”
“I’m not sure yet,” I said. “I don’t have a manager to navigate this for me but I’m actually okay with that for the first time in my life.”
“You have Ava here to help you,” Billy pointed out. He smiled when I let out an irritated sigh. “Look, bro. That woman loves you. She hasn’t left this damn hospital since you crashed. She’s smart. She cares about you. What else do you need to feel better about her?”
I rubbed at my bandaged head because Billy had a good point. Ava had everything that I wanted in a woman. It didn’t matter what I threatened her with. I’d chase her to the end of the earth if I had to. I knew that I would never be able to fully let go of Ava, just like she couldn’t let go of me. We were both entwined in each other’s souls. There was no escaping, even if we tried.
“I don’t need anything else,” I said. “Thanks for coming to see me, Billy.”
“You’re welcome. You’re one of the best. Don’t ever forget that.”
That was the problem, though. For the next three days, I waited for the doctor to clear me, with Ava by my side the entire time. Being the best at what I did had come at a horrible cost to my health and relationships. I still got sick every single time I saw the bruises on my thigh or looked up on the television to see my body being tangled in the bike. None of that was fucking worth it, now that I had a future with Ava at my side.
She was worth everything.
Getting discharged from the hospital was a huge relief. I hobbled out with a knee brace, a sprained shoulder, and a mild headache. The crisp fall air felt good on my skin after I showered with Ava’s help because I didn’t want anyone else to see me. My driver embraced me happily before helping Ava get me in the car.
“No paparazzi, right?” I asked, looking out the window for cameras. “Did they find another scandal to focus on?”
Ava slid into the passenger seat next to me. “They did. Plus, we led them to believe that you were coming out on the other side of the hospital.”
I took Ava’s hand in mine with a relieved smile. Billy was right. I had Ava to handle all this type of bullshit. For now, I wanted some peace and quiet with her. Thirty minutes later, my driver pulled up to the curb outside of my townhome. He helped me climb out and told Ava to text him when she needed to go to the pharmacy. That gave us a couple of hours alone together. Which was fine by me since Ava smelled like fresh vanilla and looked amazing with her dark luscious locks of hair tumbling about her.
“I have a nurse coming by to help you,” Ava said when the SUV pulled away from us. “I need to give her a call.”
I wrapped my only functioning arm around her shoulders. I drew her in for a kiss with a sly smile because this was the only medicine that I needed and wanted. We had catching up to do. Plenty of it, and I didn’t care how injured I was.
“I know one thing that a nurse can’t do that will make me feel better,” I said.
Chapter 34
Ava
Jude tugged me forward to kiss me, and he tasted of fresh mint toothpaste. I kissed him back passionately. I poured every inch of myself into that kiss as our tongues twisted around one another’s in a battle of dominance.
The crisp fall air swirled around us. I pulled back to look up at the red oak leaves that fell upon us. Jude glanced up at them as well, with a smile. He wrapped his good arm around my shoulders as he guided me forward to the locked gate. The entire street was quiet and full of fancy townhomes. It had been a surprise when the driver dropped me off at Jude’s place thirty minutes away from the hospital. I had expected a garage. A big garage full of bikes, since that was all he lived and breathed.
“You look a bit surprised,” Jude said as he pushed the gate open. He hobbled forward to let me walk in before clicking it shut. “Were you expecting something entirely different?”
I fished out the spare key from my jacket that Jude had told me was hidden beneath a rock on the front porch. “I was expecting you to have an apartment somewhere with a large-ass garage. I remember how much you said a big garage was important to you in the past.”
“It is important to me,” he said as I opened the front door. “This is just one of my homes here in the city. My garage is near the arena.”
“You have a garage near the arena?”
“Yes,” he said, hopping inside into the hallway. “Three stories high, actually. My office is in there. Which I’ll need to get to in the next couple of days.”
I shook my head in awe. It never ceased to amaze me how incredibly wealthy Jude was. He owned a breathtaking townhome in Chicago. He owned a fleet of bikes and a garage. He had several businesses that were thriving. He would be okay, no matter what he did, because he had worked his ass off to get where he wanted to go.
“I’ll call the nurse,” I said. “Let her know that you’re here, so—”
“Ava.”
I looked up in surprise at him as he started up the stairs slowly on the crutches. He turned to look down at me with a shake of his head.
“Tell the nurse not to come in until tomorrow.” He cocked his eyebrow at me in a way that had my body already squirming in pleasure. “Catch my drift?”
“I suppose so,” I said thickly. “I’ll give them a call real quick.”
I spent the next ten minutes telling the nurse when to come in, along with sending in prescriptions to the pharmacy nearby. I would have to surface eventually to get them but for now, I knew he craved something entirely different. A different type of drug that I was more than willing to give to him repeatedly.
I climbed the stairs to head in the direction of his bedroom, grateful that I had taken the time in the shower earlier to shave my legs at least. I pushed the door open to stop in surprise to see him already naked on the bed with a rock-hard erection straining against his stomach. Deep bruises covered his muscular body—a sign of his dedication, just like his tattoos. A cheeky smiled graced his face when I let out a laugh.
“Eager much?” I asked.
“You owe it to me,” he said, voice husky. “Come over here. I’ve been thinking about this since you left the hospital.”
“Are you sure you aren’t in any pain?”
“Yes. This is in pain.” He pointed to his erection. “Come help me ease this pain. Don’t think about anything else, either.”
I stripped slowly out of my clothes while Jude watched me with fevered eyes. His hands were clutching the sheets and blankets as I stripped naked in front of him. His eyes left fiery trails down my skin as he took me in with an appreciative groan.
“So beautiful,” he said. “Get over here. I can’t drag you here.”
“That’s right,” I said teasingly. “You can’t do anything. I’m in charge right now.”
His eyes hooded while I crawled across the bed to straddle his lap. We both let out a moan when his erection nestled against the core of me. I ground my hips teasingly against him as Jude’s lips attacked m
y breast in a series of hot kisses and little nips. His good hand clutched my right ass cheek while he guided my hips up and down him.
“Damn, baby,” he whispered against my breasts. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
Tears filled my eyes as I carefully anchored myself over him. The tip of his cock pulsated at my entrance before I slowly slid down, relishing in the heat and hardness stretching me in all the right ways. It felt so good.
“I missed you, too,” I whispered, pressing a hot kiss against his lips.
Our tongues danced as my hips rolled forward to set a slow and desirable pace. I grabbed the back of Jude’s neck to hold myself as I moved up and down over him. Every inch of Jude’s body went stiff from the pleasure of it. His jaw clenched. A vein throbbed in his temple, and ragged breaths pushed through his nose. I could feel his release coming swiftly, from how he hardened even more inside of me.
Jude slid a hand around to press his thumb against the core of me. He parted the flesh between my legs to rub at the wetness there. I let out a ragged moan as he continued to do that in time with my hips rolling up and down him. I could feel the warm sunlight streaming in through the skylights above Jude’s bed as he pushed down hard to send me over into the oblivion of my own release.
I cried out, and Jude’s hand went to my hip to guide me up and down him fast. His eyes rolled back in pleasure. The sound of our skin smacking against one another filled the room. A simmering rose-red color filled Jude’s face before he went rigid beneath me with a loud cry. I felt him spill into me, hot and sticky.
I climbed off of him before I could fall over onto a bruise or sprained limb. We laid there for a long time, watching clouds drift by through the skylight above the bed. I gently threaded my fingers through Jude’s as I rolled over to press a kiss against his wildly thumping heart. I relished in the soft contact of his sweaty skin against mine. If things would’ve been different at that arena—cold fear shot through me thinking about it.
“I’m sorry for everything,” I whispered. “I love you, Jude. I really do love you.”
