“I’ll not offer you marriage, Nina. If that’s what you’re thinking, you’re wrong.”
“Marriage.” She laughed. “I don’t care about marriage any more, and I think I’d prefer to stay a spinster … with certain benefits.”
“Think it over. Once done, it can’t ever be undone.”
“I’ve thought of nothing else since our first kiss. I don’t care.”
“I do. Go back to the house, Nina. Nurse your fiancé.” He watched her take a step back as if his words were a physical slap.
“I’m sorry I bothered you.”
He watched her quickly tuck her hair back under the coverlet and straighten her skirts. With a deep breath and her head held high, she turned and walked from the stable, never looking back.
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Chapter Seven
Daylen informed Nina she’d be dining alone as soon as she entered the room. All afternoon she’d agonized over her behavior, not believing she’d been so bold. After hours of thought, she realized Jacob had sent her back to the house with a reminder of Wallace as a cruel but imperative way to give her time to retreat.
Her problem, she decided while changing for supper, was that she wouldn’t have retreated. She’d fallen in love with Jacob almost at first sight. His kiss yesterday only solidified this in her mind. Today, his kiss had melted her insides, making her body want things she didn’t know it needed. Touching him was the boldest thing she’d ever done in her life. Once she had, she wanted more, wanted to feel his skin against her hand.
Nina decided she’d just hold her head high and get through supper. Whatever happened after would be guided by Jacob. She wouldn’t embarrass him by pursuing his attentions if he wasn’t interested. She had some pride left.
Finding he’d forgone the meal made her uneasy, wondering if it was to escape her presence or for another, unknown reason. Walking past Wallace’s bedroom door without stopping, she spent a lonely evening by herself, wandering her grand bedroom with thoughts of Lord Mansley making love to her. Laughing aloud, Nina decided major changes in her life were due, and she would make the decisions.
She could break the marriage contract with Wallace. He was not what he represented himself to be. The circumstances would allow her to back away with little embarrassment, and what there was would eventually die down in the wake of another’s misfortune. She was strong enough to weather the gossip. Remaining unmarried would be her best solution. Talking her father and stepmother into the idea would be difficult.
But there might be an alternative. What if she moved away, far away? She’d said the words in defense just a day before, but tonight they seemed her best choice.
The idea soothed her anxiety. Just because her broken engagement would bring gossip didn’t mean she had to stay in London and listen to it. The world was a large place. Surely, she’d find some other place to call home. It would be unconventional to say the least.
In a new place, she’d just be Nina Harbin, a woman whose long time fiancé met with an accident. No one needed to know he was a buffoon, only that his accident prevented them from marrying. She’d never lie outright, but rather use her feminine charms to look away when asked as if the question were painful. Nina laughed aloud at the release she felt with her decision.
“To America or Australia,” she said to the empty room.
She stood before the fire, wondering what Jacob was doing. Since her earlier revelations, she’d not been able to get him out of her mind. She should apologize for being so forward, but the strange ache her body carried made it hard to concentrate on anything but his phantom touch. Her breasts ached to be handled, and her lower lips were heavy and moist. Naïve as she was, she understood she was reacting to Jacob’s sexual side.
He was handsome and well bred and seemed attracted to her. He’d be a much more considerate lover than Wallace would, she imagined. Jacob would make love to a woman; Wallace would have sex with her.
Nina wanted to be made love to.
She grabbed her shawl from the divan in the dressing area and paused to look at herself.
She was tall and slim with well-sized breasts. Her hair was brushed out in soft waves down her back. The white linen gown she wore was floor length with long sleeves and tiny buttons running down along the front. In the shadowed light, she saw her own silhouette. Her breasts still rode high and her belly was flat.
She should have put on her day dress but didn’t. She should have stayed in her room, alone, but she didn’t. Pulling the shawl around her shoulders, she knew she should stay put. Nina decided she’d just see if he was in the library or parlor and apologize for her behavior. She’d also inform him of her decisions so he’d not worry she’d become a problem.
Wearing her kid slippers, gown and shawl, she wandered downstairs, but found no evidence of him. From the parlor window, she saw light at the stable and left through the side door before she could change her mind. The dew on the grass sent a chill through her, and she all but skipped toward the stable, an innate sense telling her he’d be there.
Winded from the journey, her cheeks flushed, and her limbs were cold. She opened the smaller door as quietly as she could. Sitting before a wooden stand, Jacob polished a leather saddle with fury. He didn’t acknowledge her presence, but rather continued his movements with renewed haste.
“Can we talk a moment? I’ve made a decision and wanted you to know my plans.”
He gave her a sidelong glance and shook his head, turning away.
“Jacob, I just wanted you to understand I’ll not be a problem much longer.”
“You were a problem even before you arrived.”
“What does that mean?” He confused her continually.
“Nothing. Forget I said anything.”
“No, I think not. Please explain yourself. I’m tired of being treated like a mindless child.”
He tossed the brush aside, turning on his bench to look at her. “All the time he was working here, he’d tell any who’d listen of the rich girl he was promised to.” He let out a breath of disgust.
“So I assume you were disappointed when I arrived too?”
“Actually, Nina, you were a lovely deception. His descriptions were less than flattering. He saw only money, never the real woman.”
“I understand that now. It was always about the money. He never loved me or even liked me, apparently.”
“He’s a fool. He could have had you as his wife if he’d not let his ego overtake his work ethic.”
“Thank you, Jacob, but it’s no longer a consideration. I’m going to break the contract and leave here. I’ll not return to London.”
Jacob stood quickly and moved to her. She didn’t back away, knew she should but didn’t want to. Any last physical touch would remain in her mind forever. She reached her hand tentatively towards his chin, and he pulled back, cursing the fates under his breath.
“It’s none of my business. You should have this conversation with Arret.”
“He’s too medicated to talk to, and I have no need to explain myself to him. I’ll break the contract because he represented himself to be something completely different. I’m sure my father and new stepmother would rather I not reside in London with them, especially until the gossip dies, so I’ve decided to ask my father to send me away, maybe to Australia or to the Americas. I’ll start a new life there, and they won’t be reminded of me as a failure every day.”
“Nina, you’re not the failure. Arret is a failure, and your father should have taken more care with his arrangements.” He cleared his throat and added, “You could still find a husband in London.”
Nina laughed aloud and saw he was confused. “Really, Jacob, you know all about polite London society. It will be better if I move. I’ll tell people I’m vacationing and eventually just say I’ve decided to stay.”
“You should talk this over with your father.”
“Since his wedding, his attentions are elsewhere, as they should be. But I�
�ll not be put to the side because of this blunder. I’ll start my life somewhere new.”
“Does it have to be so drastic a move? Why not visit Rome or Athens for a bit? Nobody would begrudge you a rest after this business is settled.”
“America’s much further away, much easier to get lost in. Australia would be the same. No, I’ve seen Rome and Athens and Paris, too. They’re all wonderful places, but I want something different.”
A chill ran through her, and Jacob moved to her side. With his hand at her waist, he guided her toward the bench he’d been occupying. He rubbed her upper arms for warmth.
“You’ll catch your death being out here in your night clothes, Nina.” If he hadn’t kissed her just then, she might have taken offense at his tone.
“I just wanted to clear things up,” she whispered, taking his head between her hands, pressing her lips to his, sweeping her tongue along them until he opened his mouth to her. She teased at his tongue then sucked it between her lips.
His groan gave her confidence, and she moved her hand over his, taking it from her upper arm and resting it over her breast. The heat of his touch made her nipple harder, fuller, and she wanted more. Her whole body reacted to his kiss, her lower lips pulsing of their own accord. She tightened her inner muscles, but that made the ache worse.
“Jacob,” she whispered, reaching to his crotch, feeling his erection through his trousers.
“Nina,” he asked, pulling back to see her face.
“Let me see you, please?” Nina didn’t know what Jacob was thinking, but she felt as if she’d called his bluff.
He took a step back and slowly pulled down first the left and then his right suspender. With practiced movements, he unbuttoned his fall. She could see how stiff he was through the material and used her own hand to help him push it away. His penis fell into her hand and overflowed what she could hold. He was warm and soft like velvet. Instinct had her moving her fingers around him, stroking him forward and back until his own hand clamped down over hers.
He had no words, simply picked her up, tossed her over his shoulder and walked to the first stall. Unoccupied at the moment, it was ready with fresh, sweet hay layered on the floor. He gently let her down in the center, pausing to tug his shirt off over his head before coming to rest beside her. His hand covered hers and drew it back to his naked flesh.
“Now, do what you want,” he said, lying back with a strange grin on his lips.
Nina wondered if he’d just called her bluff, but he was so smooth and hot in her hand that soon, nothing else mattered. It was a lesson in many ways, watching his reactions to her movements. She got lost in the action, moving her body lower so she could better study his anatomy.
Lying beside him, Nina groaned aloud, the ache inside her too much. She moved back up his body, her fingers trailing along his naked chest, teasing the dark ringlets of curling hair. She kissed him fully on the lips and let him roll her under him, enjoying the weight of his body against hers. His hands stroked her through the cloth, his touch making her breast heave forward.
Jacob groaned and lowered his head, taking first one then her other breast to his lips. Nina wanted to feel his mouth against her skin without the material barring him. Her hands rose and fumbled with the tiny buttons, managing to open several as he tugged the material out of his way. Half-bared to him, she boldly looked him in the eye.
“Show me, Jacob, ease the ache you create inside me,” she told him in a commanding voice.
“So perfect,” he whispered, taking a breast in each of his palms, molding his touch to her contours.
Nina sighed aloud when his lips captured her nipple and suckled. The inner pull shot straight to her womb, her muscles clenching for relief. Her fingers ran though his dark hair and rode along his shoulders and arms. He was beautiful in his own right. She could feel his erection against her thighs with each movement he made, and she committed to memory how it felt to touch him.
“Let me touch you,” she said boldly, reluctantly breaking away from his kiss and slipping down along his body. Nina’s hand encased him, her fingers stroking gently up and down. While he pulsed at her attentions, she knew there was more to the experience and wet her lips in anticipation of the unknown.
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Chapter Eight
Nina awoke when Elsa brought her breakfast on a tray. It was the perfect day to stay under the covers, rain and wind assaulting her windows. She disregarded the envelope on the tray until the maid left. She opened it with some trepidation, mindful of her outrageous behavior last night in the stable with Lord Mansley. Calling him Lord Mansley now instead of Jacob seemed foolish, considering their actions.
She decided the worst it could say was she should leave his home. Well, not the worst. The worst would be if he told her to take Wallace with her.
Drawing a deep breath, she pulled the familiar sheet from its covering, fingering the fine paper just as she had when his first letter arrived back in London.
Nina, duty calls. Have supper with me tomorrow night.
J
Nina hadn’t realized how anxious she’d been. She knew going back home wouldn’t be productive. Where she went after this would have to wait until the marriage agreement was formally resolved.
What she could look forward to was tomorrow night with Jacob. While her day pressed long, she enjoyed afternoon tea in the parlor before the fire, ignoring any obligation to spend time with Wallace.
Supper was a casual yet informative affair with Daniel Baker. Weather had halted his crews temporarily, yet he was in a fine mood, discussing other projects he’d built in the past and answering her questions with details instead of rebuffs of her female mind.
She slept deeply with no dreams she could remember. When another of Wallace’s tantrum woke her once after midnight, she refused to run to him and instead let Daylen handle the problem. While she felt a bit of guilt about that, it wouldn’t be proper for her to be in Wallace’s room in her night clothes. She laughed aloud, stifling her noise with a pillow remembering how she’d gone to the stable in her night dress just the night before.
Jacob was in the parlor having a drink with Mr. Baker and talking about the weather delays when she arrived. Tonight, she’d allowed Elsa to use a net snood that matched the copper color of her gown. Forgoing her usual braid, they’d left the curls loose under the netting.
Her gown was simple in design, displaying her throat and cleavage attractively yet modestly, and the style didn’t choke her throat with tight material.
Nina caught Jacob watching her under his lashes at one point, and he turned away when she winked at him, his cheeks turning pink.
The idea that she could embarrass him made her hot inside, as if she’d just drunk down a full brandy. The rush warmed her whole body, and her nipples hardened. The rest of the meal went by in a blur as she tried to keep abreast of the conversation and her memories of their time in the stable at bay. Mr. Baker excused himself as he had every night at the stroke of nine.
This was the moment she’d dreaded and fantasized about since receiving Jacob’s note.
Seated beside the fireplace in the parlor with a small glass of sherry on the table beside her, Nina decided she’d start the conversation Jacob seemed hesitant to begin.
“Did your business go well?” she asked.
Jacob put his glass on the mantle shelf, turning back with a smile on his lips. “Yes, it did. Would you like to know what I did?”
“Of course, if you’d like to discuss it.” She wanted to yell, “Tell me everything,” but refrained, sipping from her sherry.
Something about Jacob had changed. Nothing she could quite put her finger on, yet his manner seemed relaxed.
“I made arrangements for Arret to be transferred to India.”
“India?” she asked, amazed at her good fortune until she realized she might be meant to go with him.
“Yes. It seems he has a dotty old aunt with some tea plantations there he
neglected to mention. He’s probably afraid she’ll put him to work.” He laughed aloud, and Nina couldn’t hold back a conspiratorial smile.
“I’ve not heard back from my father,” she started.
“Not to worry. I’ve sent him a letter explaining all about Arret and suggesting he rescind the contract. I also offered the opinion that you could use a rest after this tumultuous time.” He laughed again, his eyes kind, the smile on his lips similar to the one she’d seen when she was licking his penis.
“A rest?”
“I explained how very upset you’d become at finding out about Arret’s behavior and lying. I also mentioned he’d not been faithful to the agreement.”
“Neither have I,” she whispered, unsure if he heard her.
“No, you haven’t. And I’ve been a poor host in many ways.”
She glanced up and saw him smiling.
“Nina, before we go any further, you must decide several things. First, you must know I’ll never marry you. For my own reasons, but I won’t, so have no false illusions.” He studied her carefully waiting for her to answer.
“I told you in the stable, Jacob, I’ve decided to go away. Going back to London won’t suit any longer.”
“Fine, as long as you understand and accept I’ll not be your future or your husband. Second, you have to decide if you want to spend the next nights in my bed or yours while I finish my arrangements.”
“Yours, of course.” There was no hesitation to her answer.
“And you understand what we do cannot be undone. While I will never speak of our times to anyone…”
“Jacob, I understand. I’m no longer the wilting virgin I was two weeks ago. I will never be the naïve girl who traveled here. I’d prefer to leave educated by a man like you who appreciates a woman instead of uses her.”
“Are you sure, Nina?”
“Yes, Jacob. I’ve thought it through. I know I can’t stay here permanently, but I’d like to spend the short time I have left with you.”
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