by Tony O'Neill
Jeffrey sat back and stretched on the couch with a beatific grin on his face. He looked over to Pop Gun Eddie who was as stoic and still as a religious statue.
“Guess it makes sense,” Randal said.
“Hell, I got nuthin’ but time these days to sit around and think about it. That’s the thing. People put down dope-fiends as being these thoughtless, selfish, unthinking pleasure seekers when it ain’t nothing like that. As far as I’m concerned, this is a philosophical decision, and I made it after a lot of careful fucking consideration.”
“C’mon,” Randal said, standing. “We’d better keep moving. Thanks for the hospitality Eddie.”
“Anytime, baby. Hope you get this shit worked out to your satisfaction.”
“Thanks. When Jacques told you he was gonna look for whores, he give you any specifics?”
Pop Gun nodded. “Said he wanted some young pussy, and I told him Koreatown has a lot of that kinda action. I couldn’t give him any specifics though: as I said, the last time I got this pecker wet, Clinton was in office, ya know?”
vii
In the bathroom of room 23 of the Budget Inn on Sunset Boulevard – a faceless sleaze-pit sandwiched between an outpatient drug rehab and an auto shop – Genesis and Lupita were arguing in hushed voices about whether or not to kill Jacques Seltzer.
They were both naked and severely tweaked. For the past hour they had been smoking monstrous amounts of crack with Jacques, with the occasional bump of heroin to smooth off the edges. Genesis had never seen so much crack in her entire life. The brick, a solid two-pound lump of pure freebase, gave off a pungent stench of acetone so powerful that her guts had started churning and bubbling as soon as they had unwrapped it. The first hit from the pipe had made the blood rush in Genesis’s ears so intensely that she nearly blacked out. A tidal wave of pure pleasure, something in between an orgasm and a heart attack washed over her. They smoked furiously while Jacques snapped pictures of them getting high and blowing the smoke into each other’s mouths’. After a while their benefactor managed to turn his attention away from the drugs long enough to instruct the girls to strip. They did as they were asked, slowly peeling their clothes away and standing naked in front of him. Before he could lay a finger on either of them Lupita grabbed Jacques by the chin and – with a sardonic smile on her lips – raised his sweaty face to hers.
“You wanna see me fuck her, right?” she breathed.
“Yes!”
“You wanna take pictures, yeah? Nasty pictures..?”
“Oui!”
“Okay baby, that’s cool. But first… first we gotta renegotiate.”
Lupita let the words hang for a moment to gauge Jacques’ reaction. She removed her hand from his face. He didn’t flinch. In fact he was nodding so furiously he resembled one of those goofy toy dogs you see in the backs of some folks’ cars. Spurred on by this Lupita continued, “We want two grand to stay the night. We know you can afford it, pal. If you need to hit the old ATM or something before we get down to business, then do it now. This rock is making me as horny as hell, and once I get to work on the little lady here…” Lupita shot a theatrically seductive look in Genesis’s direction, “I ain’t gonna want to stop what I’m doing to run errands, you know what I’m sayin’?”
“No need,” Jacques gurgled, almost breathless with desire, “I have all the money we need… right here.”
Following Lupita’s cue Genesis stepped forward pushing her chest out. She shoved her breasts toward Jacques. She caressed them, squeezing them together, enjoying the power they exuded over the hypnotized Frenchman. “We wanna see the green first, baby. I mean, we’re having a lot of fun spending time with you an’ all, but we just gotta be sure that everybody is on the level. We got bills to pay, ya know?”
Jacques jumped to his feet, his pants bulging out obscenely at the crotch. He rummaged through the pockets of his crumpled suit and pulled out a Wells Fargo envelope. He started counting out one hundred dollar bills on the bed. Lupita and Genesis looked at each other as the money started to pile up. When he made it to a thousand he stopped. He placed the envelope back in his jacket and turned to them. “We have a deal, yes? Half now, half later?”
Genesis and Lupita nodded at each other. Lupita snatched up the bills and fanned through them. “Looks like we’re in business. Why don’t you make yourself comfortable? Me and Genesis here are gonna go get ourselves ready.”
Noting the look of confusion on Jacques’ face she clarified, “Honey, I never travel anywhere without my strap-on. And you ain’t lived until you seen old Mandingo in action, ain’t that right, Genesis hun?”
“Oh shit,” Genesis said, “You in for a fucking treat, honey.”
Lupita leaned in and placed her face inches from Jacques face. “I hope your heart can take it, Jack… ’cos we’re about to blow your fucking mind.”
Jacques just nodded dumbly licking his dry, cracked lips as he watched as the two girls walk away. Lupita casually stooped to pick up her bag on the way, and they both went into the bathroom to ‘freshen up’.
“Lupe, baby,” Genesis was begging now that they were locked away in the bathroom, “Don’t do it!”
“Keep your fucking voice down,” Lupita whispered as she checked the clip and attached the silencer. “I don’t want that fat fuck storming in here before I’m ready. Could get messy.”
“You promised me, Lupe. This guy’s no threat. And he’s a fucking goldmine. There’s no need to hurt him! You swore to me that you weren’t gonna kill nobody.”
“Aw Jesus, this again? Okay you listen to me Genesis hun, and you listen good. I did not promise shit to you, okay? I got one fucking thing on my mind right now and that’s lifting this fucking hex that has been dogging our asses all the way from Reno. For the first time in I can’t remember how long we’re finally running a little hot as far as our luck goes…. This goofy fucking bastard appears outta nowhere with an envelope stuffed full of cash and more fucking drugs than we can get through in a month, and you honestly think that the agreement we had is somehow still valid? Get real! Shit’s changed!”
A triumphant look crossed Genesis’s face. “So you admit we had an agreement.”
“It was barely that! I just said what you wanted to hear because you were getting upset. I was trying to calm your ass down!”
“So you lied to me, Lupe!”
Her nostrils flaring, Lupita turned her back to Genesis. In a low, dangerous growl she said, “What is it Genesis? Huh? You seem real fond of this bastard. You wanna fuck this guy, or something?”
“What?”
“You fucking heard me. Do you want to fuck this guy?”
“No! Jesus Lupe, come on…”
“Only you could have fooled me.”
Lupita spun around.
The gun was pointing at Genesis.
“I saw the way you was pawing at him back in the car. Yukking it up while he was sticking his face in your tits. I know you dug guys before I came along… I figure maybe now you see this fool with a stack of cash and a briefcase fulla drugs, and maybe you’re starting to get a bit nostalgic for the old dick, huh? Is that it?”
“You’ve lost your fucking mind,” Genesis murmured, “And for Chrissakes… Lupe…. Please… don’t point that thing at me.”
Lupita snarled, flecks of foamy white spit forming in the corners of her mouth. Her hand trembled.
“Maybe you figured you could convince me to put the fuckin’ gun down long enough so that you could finish me yourself? Maybe you’re planning on taking off with this fucking asshole! Maybe you’re hoping he’ll take you back to fucking Paris? Planning on running off so you can go be a kept woman, or some shit?”
The colour drained from Genesis’s face.
“Lupe… Jesus Christ Lupe what are you saying? I fucking LOVE you.” Big fat tears started forming in Genesis’s eyes. She
choked her sobs back as she spoke. “For the first…. time in my fucking rotten life… I love someone who… who loves me b-b-back! Who treats me nice… who talks SWEET to m-m-me….” She wiped her snotty nose with a trembling hand. “Who doesn’t t-t-treat me like I’m some dumb bitch, some fucking hole they c-c-can use and toss aside…. Someone who’s guh-guh-good to me… And you honestly think I’d luh-luh-leave you for that piece of shit out there? That I’d fucking KILL you? Oh… my… guh-guh-God, Lupe… you’re breaking my heart…”
Genesis placed both her hands on her face and began to quietly cry. Collapsing back against the wall she slowly sank to the floor, crouching in the fetal position, her entire body wracked by brutal, silent sobs. Lupita watched her, her face stony at first. She was somehow shocked to realize that Genesis was actually heartbroken by the suggestion that she would double-cross her lover. Genesis was becoming a child in front of her. A challenge to her long-held belief that all human interactions were nothing more than an elaborate confidence trick, another obstacle to be scrambled over on the way to some larger goal. There was no leverage to be gained here, just a pitiful display of genuine despair and hurt. The kind of bewildered pain that can only be born out of love.
Lupita’s anger drained from her. She placed the gun gently at her feet. An almost unbearable feeling of sorrow and regret enveloped her. She crouched down next to Genesis. She leaned in to her lover, placing her arm around her. She pulled her close and her own fat, hot tears smeared against Genesis’s neck. When the words came they were halting and almost inaudible. Genesis could feel the hot breath brushing against her neck.
“Oh god… I’m so sorry Genesis hun… I’m so sorry…. I didn’t mean that shit… I love you baby… I’ve just… I’ve just never KNOWN, you know… not since Adolfo died… nobody had ever really…. Loved me, you know? I’ve had to fight… I’ve had to kill…steal… do all of that shit… just to get by in this fucked up… lousy… world, you know? It’s not that I didn’t believe you…. It’s just that it’s so hard for me to believe… even for a second… that something so … so beautiful could be happening to me…. Because deep down some part of myself... some fucked up… self-hating part of myself… doesn’t believe that I deserve it! That I deserve… YOU!”
For a moment they just held each other like that, trembling and sighing. Genesis looked into Lupita’s eyes. Both of their faces were slick with tears. Genesis realized that she had never seen Lupita cry before. In that frozen moment, in the bathroom of the Budget Inn on Sunset Boulevard, Lupita looked more beautiful to Genesis than ever before. When they kissed it happened in a perfect, unspoken synchronization. Their hot, mushy lips pressed together and they could taste each other’s tears intermingling in their cocaine-numbed mouths. It was a kiss that each of them felt resonate deep down within themselves. When it was over they broke apart, breathless and trembling. Some subtle tremor had happened in the universe, sending shockwaves spreading outward like the splash of a rock on the surface of a still lake. It was unstoppable now, reaching ever outwards and subtly altering everything in its wake. Lupita fixed Genesis in a very serious stare.
“You’re right, Genesis hun. About everything. I won’t kill him. This has to stop now. If you want, we can just walk right out. Leave him to it. I’m sure old Jack’ll manage just fine without us. Hell, if we just sneak out… he’s so fucked up he probably wouldn’t even notice we were gone.”
Genesis seemed to consider this for a moment. Then she shook her head. “I love you Lupita, but I ain’t asking you to be no saint. I don’t want you changing a goddamn thing about how you are. So long as you promise not to shoot the bastard, then I say we go out there, beat the living shit out of him, and take everything he’s got. In fact I think we’d be insane not to rob him, you know?”
Lupita ruffled Genesis’s hair, playfully. “That’s exactly what I love about you,” she said wiping the tears from her face. “You’re not just beautiful, Genesis. You got your head screwed on, girl.”
There was a sudden, loud crash from the next room. They froze.
“What the fuck was that?” Genesis hissed.
“No fucking clue.”
“Sounded like the door just got kicked in. You don’t think it’s the cops?”
“Oh Jesus! No. Just calm down… wait here, okay?”
Lupita picked up the gun. She crept toward the bathroom door and unlocked it. She opened it a crack and peered through. Looking back at Genesis she gave a shrug. Cocked the gun, opened the door slowly, and crept out.
Genesis picked her way to her feet, and wiped the tears from her face. Hearing nothing she cautiously followed Lupita into the next room. What she saw made no sense. Jacques was naked, sprawled out on the floor. The crack pipe was still in his hand. His face was frozen in a rictus of disbelief. His other hand was curled into a fist. It looked as though he was clawing at his hairy chest.
“What the fuck is going on?”
Lupita was kneeling next to him. She looked up. “Well, you ain’t gonna believe this,” Lupita said carefully, “But ol’ Jack here is dead as a fucking dodo. Looks like a heart attack.” She put her ear to Jacques’ chest again and stayed like that for a few moments. “Nuthin’,” she said finally. “Nuthin’ at all.”
Genesis covered her mouth with her hands and stared and the corpse. His corpulent flesh had a bluish-grey tint. She could not help but look at his pecker. Her eyes traveled down to the hairy folds where his belly hung over his crotch. She saw something small and red poking out of there. It reminded her of how her Aunt’s dog – a horny Pomeranian called Funky – used to get a weird little hard-on every time Genesis rubbed its fur. Every time Genesis had seen death up close, it never failed to amaze her with its banality. She looked away.
“What the fuck do we do now?”
Lupita looked around the tiny motel room. “We don’t have much time,” she said. “Hun, why don’t you pack up the suitcase and check his pockets for valuables? I’m gonna go get the candle and the prayer sheet. We got a fucking ritual perform, and then I think we’d be better get the fuck outta here. Don’t you?”
vii
After driving around Koreatown fruitlessly for a while, pulling over here and there so Jeffrey could hop out of the car and talk to the occasional pissed off looking whore, Randal was ready to call it a day. After Pop Gun Eddie’s place the trail had gone dead. Randal felt tired and irritable, the buzz from the alcohol long gone and replaced with the sick, throbbing precursor to a same-day-hangover. As he watched Jeffrey gesturing wildly to a disinterested-looking Korean hooker lingering outside a run-down deli, Randal decided that enough was enough. He gave a couple of loud blasts on the horn and waved for Jeffrey to come back. Jeffrey hopped back into the car.
“No luck, huh?”
“Nah. But she did offer to blow me for fifteen dollars. When I told her no, she got real pissy with me. So I told her, I’m gay, baby. It’s nuthin’ personal. You know what she says to me? She tells me that she don’t mind, and that she’ll play with my ass, no extra charge.”
“Nice.”
Randal was about to pull away.
“Where we heading now?” Jeffrey demanded.
“Back to Hollywood, I guess. There’s no sense in carrying this on. I clocked up six missed calls from Gibby already, so I guess I’m just gonna get back and give him the bad news.”
“You got a twenty I could borrow?”
“Sure, Jeffrey. Come on, I’ll drop you off wherever you need to go.”
Jeffrey shook his head. “It’s fine, man. I’ll get out here. I feel like walking.”
Randal looked at his old friend. It was the early evening, and as the shadows lengthened so Jeffrey seemed to age dramatically. His bluish-white skin seemed even unhealthier now – the only patches of colour were the bloody scabs where he had scratched and picked at his own face, giving him the effect of an acne-scarred concentration cam
p survivor. There was no spare flesh on him any more. The eyes seemed too big for the face, a face that was all cheekbones and sores. The mouth was that of a little old man, his full lips absurdly big on a maw that was sucked in and almost toothless. His black hair was lank and greasy. An unpleasant thought occurred to Randal. He knew that there was a very good chance that this would be the last time he’d see his friend alive.
He thought back to the day they’d both attended Stevie Rox’s funeral. He had been convinced that Jeffrey was dying back then. However after another solid year’s chronic drug use it was clear that Jeffrey had actually been comparatively healthy that day. There was still so much flesh on Jeffrey’s body yet to be hewn down to the bone. Today there was no place where Jeffrey’s skeleton could not be clearly seen poking through rubbery skin. He had been handsome in a fucked-up kind of way when Randal had first encountered him back in Clean and Serene, but now his look had moved beyond heroin-chic. He had drifted into the murky realm of death porn.
“Did you say you wanna walk?” Randal asked incredulously, reaching into his wallet and pulling out his last bill.
“Yeah. Seems like a nice night for it.”
“Walk where?”
Jeffrey pocketed the money and looked at Randal with eyes that projected a lifetime of pain and disappointment. He gave an almost imperceptible shrug and muttered, “Anywhere, man. It doesn’t really matter, does it?”
They sat like that for a moment, just staring out of the car together, dreamily watching the action on the street. Suddenly tired beyond belief, Randal reached a hand across and rested it lightly on Jeffrey’s knee. It felt like touching a jagged rock, wrapped in a thin layer of old denim.
“Well you take care of yourself Jeffrey,” he said. “Be careful, you know?”
Jeffrey sniffed and shot Randal a wry grin. “Okay, Randal. And you man… Don’t let the fuckers grind you down, okay?”
