by S. L. Scott
Jet nods his head. Loyalty. He gets it. “He is a good friend to you. I have no doubt you are to him as well. What about your family? Where were they?”
“In Austin. I had been on the receiving end of my father’s cold shoulder most of my life. He was all work and no play. Still is. I realize he only had one kid for a reason, but deep down, if he had none, he might have been happier. Not everyone who can reproduce should.”
“So he knew and did nothing?”
“My father and aunt were bred from cold parents and inherited their traits.”
He nods, looking away, and then turns back to say, “If I could punch your father right now, I would.”
“He’s not deserving of my time or energy. He most certainly is not worthy of yours.”
“What happened with you and Dave after that night?”
It sounds like he’s a little jealous by how he phrases it like that, but he’s met Dave. He knows we’re just friends. I see genuine curiosity as he waits to hear more.
“The next day we went our separate ways. Dave left the band the night before, but they still had all his stuff in their van. He asked me if I wanted to go with him and then head back to Austin, but something just felt in my gut wrong about going back. I think it was my dad. Dave gave me enough money to cover another few nights at the hotel, and I had enough to buy food. I had to pay daily, so when I went downstairs the front desk clerk, Sherri, took pity on me. She even let me stay two extra nights for free. After that, I waitressed at the diner next door and rented a room in Sherri’s house. After a few months, I found a job as a receptionist and moved into my own place. It wasn’t that nice, but no one knew where I lived. I liked the anonymity. I liked feeling safe because monsters don’t just live in your nightmares. In Dallas, I was safe from them; the monsters I knew in real life.”
“When I was fifteen, my mom dated a guy who walked into her house, seizing an opportunity to take over.” He scoffs and rubs his face. “He sold used computer parts he found in dumpsters and on bulk trash pick-up days. He labeled them as new without packaging. He forced us to help him once. The next time, he was smart enough not to take the three of us.”
“He sounds awful.”
“He hit my mom across the face, backhanded her for not having dinner on the table when he was ready to eat. He told us that you have to get a firm hold on your household or it falls apart, that women would look at us for direction and it was our job to dole out rewards and punishments so they fall in line.”
That’s not the Jet I know. It’s not Rivers, and even though Tulsa’s sowing some wild oats, his heart is good. All of them are good. They’ve shown me nothing but respect. That awful man’s lessons were never learned. Thank God.
Jet continues, “Then he looked at the three of us with our empty dinner plates on the table and pointed his fingers like a gun, shooting us one by one.”
He reaches for a cigarette, gets as far as pulling one from the pack, but then stops. Glancing at me, he puts it away. “To this day, I remember the sound he made as he shot each one of us.” His voice is so low as he replays the memory for me to hear.
My body knows to still, my mind focused on the man across from me. My heartbeats slow to a stop, and my breathing has ceased altogether.
The shift in his mood as he comes back to me this time is with a devious glint in his eyes. “The doctor told him his fingers would only take two months to be good as new. He could have pressed charges against us, especially me being fifteen, but I had a little talk with him as we walked back to the car. I told him if he ever came near my mom, my brothers, or my house again, he wouldn’t have fingers to heal. He dropped us off, and we never saw him again.”
This man astounds me at every turn. No wonder he took to Alfie so quickly. No wonder he didn’t shirk his responsibilities. When he loves, he loves fiercely, and in that, we are so very much the same. How did we get so lucky? “Your mom was fortunate to have you.”
“We were fortunate to have her.” He gets up and comes around, taking the chair next to mine. “Our break’s almost over, but why didn’t you go back to Austin? Why did you stay in Dallas so long?”
“I had enough for the bus fare to get back home in hotel money, but there was no point. I didn’t want to go back. There was nothing and no one worth wasting my life on. Except for my cousin. I came back for her because she asked me to. As you know, Eileen needed help with Alfie while she cared for Cassie.”
“So you left the life you created, gave it up to be there for the family who wasn’t there for you?”
“I came back for Cassie and Alfie, not my aunt, despite what she believes.”
“Where does that leave you now?”
“Right here with you.” I reach over and rest my hand on his leg. “I’m sorry you have to deal with the aftermath of the emotional damage from my ex. It wasn’t fair to you.”
“I’m not sorry. It just means words won’t be enough. I’ll show you how a real man treats a woman. Every day. And one day my love for you, shown through my actions, will drown his out.”
“They’re already starting to.”
“That’s not enough. I want you to forget the other life and live in this one with me.”
“You talk as if we’re already set in stone. As if we’re eternally meant to be.”
A sliver of a smile appears, that arrogance I tease him about, but secretly, love shines through. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone. We’re what legends are made of, written in the stars for all time. There’s no shaking me. I’ve had a taste of forever, and I’m not willing to lose you now.”
“What does forever taste like?”
“It tastes like you, Hannah. Wildflower and cinnamon.”
Oh God. How I love this man.
30
Jet
Two weeks.
We’ve worked long days and sometimes into the night. With ten songs recorded, we have one week left to record the last three tracks and wrap up this album on our end. Then our music is in the hands of the great musical gods themselves.
Being here in Ojai has been a nice break from the grind of playing five or six nights a week to get by. I don’t have to worry about money for the time being. The advance was enough to sustain for a while, though not enough to retire.
But who’s looking to retire? This has been amazing. Being around the members of The Resistance has fueled my ambition. My brothers are stoked. We want this. We want the career, the fans, the money, the life that they can afford. We want it all. I want it for me, Alfie, and Hannah.
So I’ll play this fucking guitar into the ground ten, twelve, fourteen hours a day to get the songs right. Other than breaks and the two days off we’ve had, I haven’t been able to do a lot of things like go to the beach or visit some of the touristy sights. But I did take Alfie and Hannah on a surprise trip to Disneyland.
Standing in the studio today makes me glad we got to do something fun together as a family.
Family.
My family. That’s why I’ll work this hard. I’ll do anything to give them the life they deserve.
Johnny stands next to me with his guitar in hand, learning the song by watching me play. “Hit the twelfth fret on that last note,” I say, checking out his finger positioning. Alfie’s taken over the captain’s chair in the sound room, and from the looks of it, he has been talking the tech’s ear off.
I check my watch. Hannah was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago. “Can you give me five?”
“Yeah, sure. I think I’ve got it. It’s a good melody. Did you write it alone or with your brothers?”
“That riff is mine. Rivers has a lot of cool ones he wants to incorporate into some songs.”
“That’s a lot of talent for one family.” The drums are hit, the bass booming. We both look back at Tulsa rockin’ out. Dex looks pleased, proud even. “Tulsa sounds good. I think it was smart to move him to the kit.”
“Watch out, Rock Magazine. You might have your next Drummer of the
Decade back there.”
Johnny laughs. “Just don’t say that to Dex. Drummers are a sensitive bunch. It will fuck up his day, and he’ll get an attitude.”
I set my guitar on the stand and tell him I’ll be back in five. With two fingers, I point at the door so Alfie understands to meet me in the hall. When I leave the studio, he’s already there and running up the stairs. “Come on, buddy. Let’s go see if Hannah’s in the guesthouse.”
Once we’re outside, he runs free across the lawn and down the slight hill. He beats me long before I make it. When I open the door, I find Alfie hugging Hannah, who’s on the couch. Her face is streaked with tears and her eyes puffy from crying. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s my family.”
Family.
I want to yell that I’m her family, but I don’t.
She says, “My father . . .”
“What happened, Hannah?”
“He’s siding with my aunt.” She looks at Alfie, and says, “Let’s go outside and play, okay?”
Alfie’s worries disappear, and he asks, “Can we play tag?”
Getting up, she takes my hand and replies, “Jet and I need to talk, bud. Let’s just go outside and you can run around.”
Holding hands reminds me again that we are truly the worst kept secret, and Alfie either supports us together or doesn’t think twice about seeing two people in love. We still have to talk to him about what’s going on between Hannah and me, but for now, I need to know what’s going on with her father.
Alfie is already climbing the playscape when we walk up the hill. Sitting down on a bench, she says, “My father is giving Eileen the money to fight me and you for custody.”
How can he side against his own daughter? Fucker. “How do you know?”
“He called me.” She looks at her phone with expectation. Only a black screen is seen. “I thought he was calling me to talk to me, maybe he was checking on me or was worried since we hadn’t talked or saw each other in a while.”
I wrap my arm around her. “He doesn’t matter. I understand you’re hurting, but he’s an asshole, baby. You don’t need him. Anyway, I have the advance for the album. I’ll use every penny to fight for Alfie. There’s no way in hell they’re going to take him away from me.”
Standing abruptly, she walks a few feet and then turns back. “Where does that leave me, Jet? You’re his father. I’m not his mother.”
“It leaves you exactly where you’re meant to be, with me and Alfie. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t give birth to him. You are a mother figure to him. You’re the only mother in his life.”
“But I have no rights.”
“You have Cassie’s wishes. Those matter.”
“I have no money. I have no job. I don’t even have a place to live.” Her hands go to the top of her head. “What am I doing?” She starts to cry, but when she sees Alfie nearby, she walks back to me. Standing next to me with her back to the playscape, she wipes away her tears.
I reach up and take her hand. When she looks down, I say, “Unlike the custody hearing, my love doesn’t come with any conditions. I’ll take the bad with the good. I’ll take you broke or making money. Happy. Sad. Calling me out on my dumb puns. I’ll take the way you love with your whole being, the way you love me and the way you love our son. I’ll take it all as long as I get you.”
Sitting down on my lap, she hugs my neck and kisses the shell of my ear, and then whispers, “The words I love you don’t feel like enough for how I feel about you.”
When I catch Alfie’s eyes on us, I say, “Hey, Alfie? C’mere.”
He runs over and sits on the bench next to me. Patting his back, I stop wasting time and start claiming the life I want. “Hey buddy, I love Hannah.”
“I love Hannah too,” he says with a smile as if we’ve found something in common.
We have. I add, “I want Hannah to live with us. Since it’s our home, I thought maybe we could ask her together.”
His eyes go wide, the sunshine highlighting the happiness inside. “Yes. Yes. Yes, please. Please, Hannah. Live with us. Then I wouldn’t have to live at Grandma’s.”
Hannah’s expression falls, and she touches his cheek. “You don’t like living there?”
He shakes his head, and I’m about to speak, but he says, “Mommy’s gone, and I want my books, but I don’t like feeling sad, and when I’m there, I do.”
If I were listening to an adult, it would have been a lot of beating around the emotional bush, but this kid nails his feelings and speaks his truth.
Hannah says, “I’ll get your books. I’ll make sure I do.”
I wish I could give him some guarantees, but nothing is final until the judge rules in my favor. With Hannah’s father stepping in to fund this feud, I need to talk to someone who knows more about the legality of this situation. “You can go play, kiddo.”
He runs off as if we were holding up his fun all along. I look at my woman, holding her on my lap. “We were never on opposing sides. You and I want the same thing—what’s best for that little boy. Your aunt just wants to win. This is not about slow and steady. This is about a full-on war. I’m not going to lose my son, and I need you by my side when we walk into that courtroom.”
“I’ll be there. I’ll be whatever you need me to be, babe.” Glancing once at Alfie, she says, “You called him our son.”
“He is. He’s our son, Hannah. Will you raise him with me?”
She’s going to cry again. At least I can tell these are happy tears. Her head falls to my shoulder, and her arms tighten around me. “Where have you been all my life?”
“Right where you left me.”
A gentle smile graces her face. “Will you ever forgive me for not staying that next morning?”
“There’s nothing to forgive. You had your reasons for leaving, but I had mine for wanting you to stay.”
Cupping my face, she leans down and touches her nose to mine. “You had reasons for me to stay?”
“I did, baby. I had many.”
“Tell me just one, Jet Crow, and I’ll be yours forever.”
“I like the way you look in my bed.”
She tilts back, laughing. Swinging her hair to the side, she looks beautiful in the sunshine. “Does everything always end in sex with you?”
“No, sex was just the beginning, baby. The end remains to be seen.”
“I can’t wait.”
I kiss her and lean back. “Hey,” I say, giving her a little squeeze. “I’m sorry about your father.”
“I should have expected it.”
“That doesn’t make it right.”
“No,” she says. “It just makes it what it is.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to fight him with you.”
I stand and set her on her feet again. “I should probably get back.” I kiss her cheek and with my lips pressed to hers, I say, “I love you, Hannah Nichols.”
“I love you, Jet Crow.”
“Hey Alfie,” I call out. “You coming with me back to the studio or hanging here with Hannah?”
“Hannah.” He giggles, sliding down the slide.
“Okay, I tried to tempt him away. You win, Ms. Nichols. See you later, gators.”
A kiss is blown my way, and I reach up to catch it because the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen loves me.
The threat from her father and her aunt was taken seriously, but not enough. A letter arrived summoning Hannah to return to Austin with Alfie immediately. I thought it was unwarranted. We only have a week left, but Ivan Nichols doesn’t play nice. He lawyered up against his own daughter.
Hannah talked to the lawyer she and her aunt were using, but Eileen fired him. He gave Hannah some free advice—return to Austin to show our cooperation and willingness to put Alfie first.
“The game has changed,” I say, trying to reassure her two days after we received the letter.
“How are we going to fight them, Jet? My father’s a very weal
thy man.”
“Yet he never helped.”
“He helped me but only on his terms.”
“That’s not how parenting works. If we don’t have that love . . . My father left when I was little. I never felt a hole in my life because my mother’s love filled it. You don’t need the man who helped create you. You just need to find the love that fills your soul. Alfie and I love you. I’m not sure if that’s enough. Only you can know that. But you have us, and we’ll help you however you need.”
“I don’t deserve—”
“You deserve everything good. You just believed their lies for too long.”
“I saw the truth in you, and I fell in love.” She snuggles up to me on the couch but looks over at Alfie who has teamed up with Tulsa to play pool against Rivers. “We’ll leave tomorrow because I don’t want to waste legal fees fighting this. My lawyer said he would discount his fee for us for the final hearing. He knows the case. I think we should stick with him.”
I’m selfish. “I don’t want you to go.” I look behind us when Rivers laughs loud enough to get our attention. Alfie’s a Crow. He fits right in. Teasing Tulsa, the three of them remind me of when I hang with my brothers. “I think you’re right. I like having him near. I like this routine we’ve fallen into, but the advance isn’t enough to fight a long drawn out legal battle.”
“We won’t have to,” she says, resting her hand on my chest and looking at me. “My attorney said he wants to recommend custody remain with you with my support. If we want, we can ask the court to appoint an attorney for Alfie. Someone to represent his best interest as well, but I don’t think we need to. The judge will see that we’re a family. That matters.”
“I’m counting on it.”
“You showed up when no one thought you’d even care.” The pressure of her hand over my heart brings me comfort. She kisses the edge of my jaw and whispers, “I know what you’re thinking. I see it in your eyes. You want to fight and so do I, but you need to stay and finish the album. We’ll go, and everything will be okay, but know that I’ll miss you.”
