by Liza James
The ache of Na’amah’s marks continue to persist in various places across my body. But nothing is as disoriented as my mind and my emotions. I swear, every time I’m around her, she leaves me with more questions than answers.
Once we’ve made it upstairs and into my room, my vision begins finally, slowly coming back to me. It’s as though the farther away I got from that space, the better I began to feel. I don’t understand it, and I’m eager to talk to Na’amah myself in order to find these answers.
“Sleep for a while, it’ll help with the residual magic,” Thalia explains as my hands reach forward and search for my bed. I find it and immediately climb on top, thankful for the feeling of the soft sheets and these pillows under my head.
“Residual magic?” I ask, hoping she’ll shed some light onto what I just experienced.
“It’s hard to explain—what happened between you, and Na’amah I mean. I haven’t ever seen it like that,” she speaks with a tone of confusion lacing her words and I turn my head as I try to decipher the shadow of her body in my room. I can vaguely make out shapes at this point, with minimal colors and depths of perception.
“I don’t understand. Any of it. That’s the most frustrating part,” I reply to her, running the palm of my hand up and down my face.
Thalia doesn’t respond at first, but I suddenly feel the left side of my bed sink just slightly as she sits down beside me. “No one does at first. This place operates so strongly on emotions and the otherworldly, not logistics. You won’t find facts and science and reasonable explanations here.” She rests a hand on my leg, brushing her thumb back and forth in comfort as I listen. “Whether you want to admit it or not, you build a connection with Na’amah. It’s an energetic exchange every time you interact, especially when you have sex or she draws these intense emotions out of you. And while you think she feels nothing—it’s not true. I promise you that. I’ve never seen her respond to any of the girls like she does with you.”
I close my eyes, deciding not to strain my vision any longer. My head is pounding with a migraine and I’d rather use all of my remaining energy to truly listen to what Thalia is saying.
Part of me wants to believe her, the other part of me doesn’t.
“I can never make sense of what I’m feeling around her.” I admit, quietly speaking the words I’ve dared not say before now. “One second, I hate her. For everything she’s done. How could I not? And yet, there’s this darker version of who I am, someone who’s only released when I’m around her. A side of me who is desperate to be closer to her.”
“There’s a freedom you can only explore in this place. With these Queens. Things that are never possible on the upside. You can literally feel the magic pulsing through the air here. It flows freely, moving around each of us in opportunities of connection and release.” Thalia’s voice takes on a new quality, and it’s the first time I’ve truly heard a sense of passion for this place from someone else.
“Do you all feel this way?” I ask, curious if each of them is genuinely glad to be here. How could that be possible? What did they all leave behind?
“For the most part. We each have our own stories, our own reasons for remaining here. But we’ve all fallen in love with Lilith in a different way since Na’amah transferred our bonds to her after our time training for the Bite was complete.”
“I have so many questions, regarding all of this,” I start, opening my eyes and finding a hazier display of what surrounds me. I can almost see everything clearly, and a lighter relief rushes through me thankfully. “I will do the same, if I’m here? Once Na’amah is finished with me, she’ll pass me off to Lilith?”
“Yes. You’ll join the rest of us with her. Build your own connection to Lilith in a way you haven’t had with Na’amah.” My vision brightens even more, and I watch as her gaze softens as she speaks. It feels as though she’s breaking some kind of hard news, as if I ever thought things would be different for me.
I never assumed otherwise though. I knew once Na’amah was finished with me, I’d either be killed or passed off to Lilith. Whichever option they deem most beneficial.
I’m confused by the genuine love in her voice for this place though. That aspect alone forces me to think about their home a bit differently and I wonder if there is some larger picture I’m missing here.
“What happened to your family? The one you left behind.” I ask the difficult question because I need to know…I have to know if she was forced to abandon something else she desperately loved.
“I had none.” She answers easily, offering her story without any further pressing. “I had no siblings. In fact, I was kidnapped when I was incredibly young. Only 5 or 6, and had been sold into sex trafficking after my parents had died in a tragic accident.” She peers at me with a solemn look on her gentle face. “I had grown up in that industry, and had begun taking care of the newer girls coming in. Lilith was the one who found me this time, and I was thankful she did in the state of health I was in.”
My brows pull together in confusion and surprise. “So, they rescued you?” I ask, realizing her story is so wildly different from mine.
“Essentially, yes. But each of us arrived here on different terms. Some of us don’t have the prettiest background in their journey here. I was taken without my full understanding, but I’ve grown to love this place none the less, especially after connecting with Lilith in the ways that I have.” She stands, and steps closer to me for a moment as she glances down at my upper arms. She inspects me, and it’s only then that I glance down to see the thin fabric of my sweater torn and burnt in various places along my skin.
My flesh is pale and uneven in places. It’s lost all of its natural color when the marks are, aside from those familiar streaks of blue that decorate my thighs as well. Only these are far more intense, raising off of my skin as if the ice is eager to break through. Thalia runs her fingers gently over the space and I watch as she tilts her head to the side, observing intently before pulling away.
“What is it?” I ask, assuming these are just as normal as the other marks Na’amah left on me. But the way her eyes widen slightly and her mouth presses into a flat line have me guessing otherwise.
“I just haven’t seen a reaction this powerful, this physical between Na’amah and any of the other girls.” She turns on her heels and walks toward the door of my room, looking back over her shoulder one last time before leaving. “Sleep it off, that will help you heal. The distance between you and Na’amah should aid in recover as well. But i’ll speak to the others and see what the Queens have to say regarding this.”
I want to ask more questions, discuss this further with her seeing as she’s the first person to offer me any real, solid, answers concerning the Underworld. But my eyelids feel heavy, and they flutter closed as exhaustion wins over my need to continue conversing. My aching and sore body surrenders to sleep entirely, and everything goes dark as my mind spirals through the events of earlier.
That fucking laugh. Loud and high pitched, excited and taunting. Aggie flies into the throne room, running across the floor and leaping into her throne as her eyes snap to me. She lands on her knees, perching her little elbows on the arm and tucking her fists under her chin as she tilts her head and watches me.
Back and forth. Back and forth. That little tilt.
Her mouth is grinning ridiculously wide, her bright white teeth shining amongst her rosy pink lips. I swear her eyes are practically glittering as her gaze bores into the side of my face.
I’m not even looking at her, after that first initial glance I turned away and crossed on leg over my thigh. But she caught me, right there in that moment when my face flinched ever so slightly at the pain shooting through my ribs.
“You’re starving.” She states ever so arrogantly. Without question. The tone of her voice is laced with effervescent excitement.
I clear my throat, refusing to answer, but god just the motion of swallowing has my stomach twisting apart in agonizing thirst.
Everything fucking hurts, every ounce of my body, every muscle, every organ. I’ve never felt like this before, and it’s the first indication that something has gone terribly terribly wrong in the first 48 hours of training Skilla.
“You know, they always say, ‘When you know? You know.’” She giggles and shifts in her seat as she plops back, sighing in mock love as she speaks.
“Shut the fuck up,” I bite out, cringing and closing my eyes as another wave of hunger rips under my skin. I groan out, sliding my fingers over my stomach and pressing down as if that will help dull the consistent pain.
“This one? Really?” Eisheth storms into the room, her heeled boots stomping across the ground in thumps that literally pulse through my head. “We need her, Skilla. For Lilith.”
“I need Brielle,” I mutter under my breath, deciding that if I just ignore the two of them, all of this will somehow disappear and go away.
“She’s starving,” Aggie chirps with another knowing smile, and my eyes snap to her as I glare in her direction.
“Not her. Use someone else. Every time you feed from her, you weaken any progress I’ve made in my bond to her. Not to mention the ways she clearly destroys the tether you’ve formed with Skilla.” Lilith emerges from behind the large grand entrance, stepping into the space in her long, black, velvet gown that trails behind her. Her hair is billowing around her shoulders, and her skin is presenting in that same pale, lifeless color it has been recently.
But even her clear illness does nothing to distract from the increasing thirst building within me. Nothing can, and all that’s running through my mind is the taste and sensation of blood.
Blood.
Skilla’s blood.
Her scent, the overwhelming blend of syrupy maple and spiced whiskey. Who would have thought, but every time she’s near me I can smell it heavier and heavier. It’s as though being here has made her blood more potent, enriched the celestial strands of DNA she carries within.
I wasn’t anticipating that; it’s never happened before. But as I brought Brielle in front of her, as my hands worked over her body and my fangs descended, Skilla unleashed an inner Demon I never knew she contained.
Her entire body halted in movement, freezing entirely as her head fell back on her shoulders and her lips parted. A scream escaped her, but it wasn’t like anything I had ever heard before. Everyone was paralyzed in their tracks, Brielle’s blood turned sour on my tongue and the excruciating pain that reverberated through my body was unlike anything I’ve ever felt.
I was being ripped apart, torn in two at the sound of Skilla’s voice. My blood boiled, my skin seared, and suddenly everything shifted between us until I was able to calm her once I had released Brielle. Skilla’s tone was laced with a poison I swear affected every person in that goddamn room, and has clearly already carried to each of my sisters. Hence why we are obviously meeting in this emergency gathering.
And the hunger has only grown since then. It doesn’t make sense, seeing has I fed both yesterday and the night before. I usually only feed once every few weeks, able to sustain my strength and mental stability on a lower supply of blood.
Not since Skilla arrived though, everything’s changed since then.
I must have made a grave mistake in bringing her here.
“Explain.” Eisheth speaks as she stalks directly in front of me, stopping and crossing her arms over the cinched up emerald green corset at her waist.
“Get me something to fucking eat, and I’ll do my best.” I bite out, running my fingertips along my temples as I try to stave off the migraine.
“In this state? Absolutely not. You’ll kill one of them.” Lilith’s words carry the power she demands, along with the irritation and possessiveness she holds over her girls. She has certainly picked up on the severity of my hunger now that she’s observed me for a few moments, keeping all of her girls off limits for the time being.
My fingers wrap tightly around the arms of my throne, the ice digs into my skin, my own power spilling forth from my touch and frosting the edges of the floor around me. I can hardly control it, my own energy cracking through me like an earthquake.
“Skilla, Skilla, Skilla. Call her in here, she’ll help surely.” Aggie’s mockery is the final straw in my uncontrolled temperament. I snap, lunging toward her so aggressively that my hands wrap around her throat as I drag her to the ground below our four thrones.
God, she’s maniacal, and is laughing uncontrollably at my expressed anger and starvation. But she fights back dirty, and before I realize I need to stop her, the palms of her hands are pressing firmly to either side of my head and her amethyst eyes are boring deep into my soul. She’s reading me, and I can literally feel her essence breaking through the icy barriers of my mind and shattering what protection I held against her readings.
No, no, no. I can’t let her see what I’ve been thinking. The possibilities I’ve been considering silently in my mind since I met Skilla.
But I can see it the second she unlocks the idea, her eyes going wide and her touch stilling completely. Her lips part on a quiet gasp, and suddenly she’s shifting back away from me, her brows pinched together in shock and disbelief at the notion.
“That’s impossible.” She snaps, her own frustration now rooting itself in her words. I knew she’d be upset by this; it’s why I haven’t breathed a word of it to any of them. "
“I know,” I whisper, shifting back on my ass and dropping my elbows over my knees. “It doesn’t make sense.”
“But you’re sure,” she retorts, suddenly standing and perching her fists on her little waist as she stares down at me.
“What? What are you both going on about?” Eisheth steps between us, but my eyes remain on Aggie. Her chest is shifting up and down in heavy breaths, and I can practically hear how rapidly her heart is thundering.
“You said..” She starts, her lips pressing into a tight line as tears spring to her eyes. “You said we could never.”
I shake my head, dropping my gaze to my hands momentarily before looking back up and meeting her stare again. “That’s what Lucifer told us. When we were cursed, when Lilith was. We had all lost our ability to—”
“No, no fucking way.” Eisheth lifts her hands and runs them through her hair, pulling at the long strands before turning around and pacing the space around us. Lilith slowly steps up to her throne, sitting down as her hard gaze focuses on our conversation.
“I know what I fucking said you guys, I know.” My words are heavy with disbelief and grief for Aggie. I know this hits her far harder than the rest of us.
“Say it,” she grinds out through clenched teeth as she quickly launches forward and crouches in front of me. Tears fall freely from her eyes now, staining her rosy cheeks and slipping over those kind lips. My heart breaks for her, in the midst of my hunger and thirst, among my disbelief and uncertainty regarding this notion. “Say the words, Na’amah.”
I feel so horribly for my youngest sister.
“Ol, Na’amah, Fallen Angel C Arcadia, allar—” I whisper the words in our native language, and the way her hands fly over her ears and she cries out in agony shatters my heart as I watch her.
“Skilla is my Fated.”
“Oh shit,” Thalia’s voice breaks out from behind all of us, and I snap my head around to find her striding into the throne room at that exact moment. Her eyes widen at my admission, her hand flying over her mouth as her steps halt immediately.
Aggie has vanished entirely. It’s to be expected with this news, and now only myself, Eisheth and Lilith are sitting around a looming fire with drinks in hand as we attempt navigating this situation.
“This is incredibly unexpected.” Eisheth admits, taking a sip of her brandy as she lifts her other arm and rests it loosely over her head. She leans back in the lounge chaise completely, her usually peaceful mind now working in overtime at the new possibility.
“But how do you know?” Lilith asks, curiosity pulling at her tone more than anger or di
sappointment. “Tell us what it feels like. You’ve bonded to and worked with all of the other girls prior to her.” My eldest sister is drinking, but hers is a small glass of Fira’s blood, and my eyes linger on the way it stains her lips as she speaks.
I fed, from Thalia while she was in the room. But I’m still hungry, and I wasn’t able to consume nearly as much as I’d like in the state I’m currently in. We caught her up on the details of what’s happening, but didn’t have much more an explanation or resolution moving forward.
It’s strange, the ways my body is reacting to everyone else around me now. The idea that I was Fated to Skilla first became apparent when I spent the remainder of my night with Brielle. It was after that moment, everything changed unexpectedly.
“The other night, I had a session with Skilla after I caught her sneaking around the kingdom. She was in the Throne room, and I took her to one of the outer wings before taking her back to her bedroom once I was finished with her. While I was up there, I could sense Brielle waiting for me, and ever since I met Skilla, I’ve been far hungrier than usual.” I explain, forcibly removing my eyes from Lilith’s drink and shifting forward to rest my elbows on my knees while I focus on the heat of the fire in front of me. “I fed and fucked her that night,” my eyes glance toward Lilith knowing she won’t be absolutely thrilled by that reality. But the truth has always been that the girls are available to each of us when necessary if they aren’t bonded to Lilith and her harem yet.
“Of course, you did,” she replies, sarcasm dripping from her words as her dark eyes meet mine.
“The point being,” I press forward. “I had never experienced something like that before. I fed from her, but her blood was dull and mediocre on my tongue. It hardly sustained me, not like it usually does. And after I had finished, I left her and went back to my own chambers. I fully intended on climbing into bed and falling asleep, but my body reacted in strange ways. Intense, deeply ingrained pains overtook me, and I found myself in vomiting everything I had consumed from her.” I sigh as I lean back in my lounge and bounce between both of their eyes. “I know it sounds as though I simply got sick, but it was far more than that. Skilla is the only one on my mind, constantly. Her blood is like a drug to my senses, the only thing I can scent anymore, the only essence that appeals to me in the slightest. It’s as though she’s the only one who can nourish me in the ways I need. Her body is the only one I envision when I’m alone or with anyone else.”
