Squaring my shoulders, straightening my back, and lifting my head, I walked toward them. Unfortunately, I had to walk by them to get backstage. I didn't see Sean anywhere around. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Why would his girlfriend be here without him? I guess that was better than having to see them together. That would kill me.
"Nikki!" Toni said her eyes widening with delight when she saw me.
I gave a curt nod, but didn't say anything as I tried to walk briskly past them. She grabbed my wrist when she realized I wasn't going to stop and talk to her. "Let go of me," I said as sternly as I could.
"Will you please just listen for a minute?"
I looked back and forth between Toni and the woman. "No." I yanked my arm out of her hold and tried to walk away again.
"Nikki! Please! Will you please just stop?" Toni called after me.
Without turning around or stopping, I said, "There's nothing you have to say that I want to hear."
From behind, I faintly heard Toni say, "You're wrong."
I was glad that she didn't try to follow me. My hands were shaking as I approached the members of my quintet. "Are you guys ready for this?" I asked, trying to rid my mind of the image of Toni and that woman, and to calm my nerves.
"Where is Toni?" Sarah demanded.
"I'm right here," Toni said as approached.
"Well it's about time. All this time I was worried about Nicole leaving us high and dry and it's you that shows up at the last minute," Sarah said, crossing her arms over her chest and giving both of us a dirty look.
"Stuff it, Sarah!" Toni snapped, and then she turned to me. "We need to talk."
"No, we don't." I shook my head.
"You're acting like an immature child, you know that?"
"Oh, that's nice coming from you."
"Look, I don't know what your problem is, but you need to pull your head out of your… "
"All right, that's enough!" Sarah interrupted us. "We're about to begin. They just dimmed the lights, so I suggest you two put this little argument on hold so we can perform."
I was thankful for the interruption. The sooner I got on the stage and started singing, the sooner I could get lost in the music, and hopefully forget about the gaping hole in my heart. We all took our places and waited for the curtain to rise. When it did, I was taken aback by the amount of people in the concert hall, all those sets of eyes focused on us, eager and expectant. It was overwhelming. The soft tones of the beginning of the music fluttered around me, filling me with a sense of calm. I momentarily closed my eyes, opening them only once it was my time to sing. The words flowed from me, from my soul, making me feel whole again. I scanned the hall, starting in the back and working my way toward the front, toward where I knew my mom and sister were seated.
My gaze settled on them and stayed there for the remainder of this song and the next two. As the melody for the third song began, my heart started to race. This was the piece Sean had helped me with the night I'd made him dinner and we'd made love. I don't know why, but I let my gaze drift from my mom and sister and around to the other end of the hall. And that's when I saw him.
Sean was sitting in the sixth seat from the aisle. He was wearing his dress uniform, and his big, beautiful, brown eyes were focused solely on me. I allowed myself to meet his stare. Thankfully, I didn't mess up or lose my focus on the music, but I did find myself getting lost in those eyes of his. He smiled sadly and I felt the sting of tears in my eyes, which was fitting, really, because the piece we were performing was gut wrenching.
Tears trickled down my face but I kept singing. I kept looking at Sean. God, I missed him so much. He mouthed the word, "sorry" and at that point, I almost faltered. If I didn't look away, I was going to really lose it. Slowly, reluctantly, I tore my gaze from him and stared out toward the back of the hall, not really looking at anyone in particular. As the music came to an end, I shifted my gaze back to Sean and wiped the tears from my face. The hall erupted in applause. It was the first standing ovation we'd ever received.
Sean was standing, too, pride radiating from his eyes and his smile. It looked as though he was clapping the hardest and the loudest. Sarah made an announcement we were going to take a short intermission. I rushed off the stage and straight into the bathroom where I splashed cool water on my face. I didn't think seeing Sean in the audience would have affected me as much as it did.
I had noticed Sean wasn't sitting next to that woman, though. He's been next to Steve Boyd, and the woman had been on the other side of Steve. That was odd. At least I didn't see Sean holding her hand, or putting his arm around her, or kissing her. But, what did that mean? Was he keeping his distance from her for my sake? No, that didn't make much sense. I'd seen them kissing before and he didn't seem to care then.
I composed myself and returned to the stage to finish the concert. I did my best to avoid looking directly at Sean, but my gaze kept wandering in his direction. And every single time, I'd see him looking intently at me, as if waiting to catch my eye so he could say something. Thankfully, the concert finished without any problems. We were rewarded with another, longer, standing ovation and deafening applause. It was humbling to know so many people enjoyed the music as much as we did. After taking the appropriate number of bows, we exited the stage.
Toni made a beeline for me. "Nicole, don't you dare leave here until you talk to me."
I ignored her and headed toward the back door. My plan was to get away from Toni, sneak back in through the front door, and stay just long enough to find my mom and sister. If I was lucky, I could avoid Sean, too. Just as I pushed on the door, Toni grabbed my elbow and spun me around.
"Stop it, Nicole. You have to talk to me."
"I don't have to do anything," I jerked out of her hold and pointed at her, "But you, you need to stop butting into my life"
"Oh, now I get it. You blame me for what happened with Sean, don't you?"
"No, I blame you for pushing so hard for us to get together. If you hadn't, if you had just let me do things my way, none of this ever would've happened."
"You're right," she said, taking a step back, "It never would've happened because you would've pushed him away just like you do with any man that shows an interest in you."
"Yeah, well, at least I wouldn't have had my heart broken," I snapped.
"If you'd just take ten minutes to talk to Sean, he could clear this whole thing up. It's really not what you think, Nicole."
"I saw him kissing another woman. There's no clarification for that." I turned and pushed through the door, walking at a brisk pace around to the front of the building. I saw my mom and sister standing outside. Thank God. That meant I didn't have to go back inside and risk seeing Sean.
"Oh my gosh, Nikki, that was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. You had me in tears," Jo said.
"Thanks." I smiled. "So, are we ready to go get that late snack? I'm starved." I was grateful they both willingly agreed and didn't ask any questions or insist on meeting the rest of the quintet. I didn't actually relax until we were in the car and driving away from the concert hall.
CHAPTER 15
Sean McKenzie
I stood in the Concert Hall in a position that afforded me a view of the front door and the stage door. With any luck, I would catch Nicole coming or going through one of them. At least she hadn't looked away tonight. God, hearing her sing again, seeing her on the stage, it brought back every memory I had of the first time I'd ever seen or heard her. I wanted nothing more than to tell her how sorry I was – to pull her into my arms and kiss her.
She had looked beautiful up there on the stage. Her hair hung loosely around her shoulders. That silky, emerald green dress she wore had hugged her curves and really accentuated her pretty hazel eyes. Seeing her cry during that song broke my heart. It was the piece I'd helped her with the night we'd made love. Had that memory taken over her mind like it had mine? Is that why she cried? I knew some of those tears had been because of the music, but I wond
ered if some of them were for me, too. Did she miss me as much as I missed her? Had she thought about me at all, or was she really good at closing off her emotions?
I know I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her at all. It might not be so bad if I could just hear her voice. If it was physically possible, I would kick myself in the ass for not telling Nicole about Sasha earlier. My father always taught me honesty is the most important thing, and what did I do? I ignored his advice. I hadn't been honest with Nicole and I should have been. It was the whole reason I was in this mess right now.
The stage door opened and I turned fully toward it. My hopes were crushed when Toni came walking out - without Nicole. I narrowed my eyes at her. "Where's Nicole?"
"She took off out the back door," Toni sighed, "I'm so sorry, Sean. I tried to stop her."
I noticed tears in the corners of her eyes. That made it hard to get mad at her. "She really isn't going to talk to me ever again, is she?"
What little hope I'd had when I arrived disappeared, "I thought you were going to tell her about Sasha?"
"I tried, three times and she refused to listen. I've never seen her act like this before. She's really hurt, Sean."
"I know. So am I," I hung my head and shook it, "Well, I guess that's it then, huh?"
"What? No! Don't be ridiculous."
"Please don't do this, Toni. Don't get my hopes up again." I wanted to remind her she'd promised to get Nicole to talk to me tonight, but that wouldn't help anything. So, I kept my mouth shut and resolved to the fact I'd probably lost Nicole for good. I slowly sat down in the closest chair and dropped my head into my hands. I didn't understand why Nicole would give me five minutes to explain. It didn't make any sense.
Toni sat beside me. "Just give me another chance to make this right. Please?"
I turned my head to look at her. "Why do you care so much?"
"Because she's my best friend, and she's hurting. And…and she blames me. She said if I hadn't pushed you two together this never would've happened."
I put my arm around Toni's shoulders. "No one can know that," I said, trying to comfort her.
"I know you love her, Sean. And I know she loves you, too. You guys belong together. Don't give up on her," Toni pleaded.
"I just don't know what else to do."
"Are you hitting on my girlfriend?" Derrick joked as he approached us.
I smiled and dropped my arm from Toni's shoulders. "You know that old saying, misery loves company."
"That's it!" Toni said, jumping to her feet.
Derrick and I looked at her like she'd sprouted a second head. "What's it?" Derrick asked.
"I know how to get Nicole to talk to Sean." She laughed. "I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner."
"Think of what?" I stood. "You're not making any sense, Toni."
She put her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. "Trust me, okay? I have a plan I know will work. Can you come with us, or do you have to get back to the center?"
"I can go with you," I said, still not sure what it was she was planning or how it would get Nicole to talk to me. But, I was desperate and willing to try anything, no matter how crazy it might be.
"Good. I just got to make a couple of calls then we can go," Toni said.
"Go where? Will you please tell me what you're planning first?"
"Okay," Toni sat back down and motioned for me to do the same.
Once I did, she began to lay out her plan, and I listened intently. When she'd finished talking, I sat silently for several moments, too stunned to speak. It was definitely a crazy idea. So crazy in fact, that if it didn't work, Nicole would probably be so pissed off she'd never speak to any of us ever again. But what if it did work? Was that possibility worth the risk?
"So, what do you think? Are you in or not?" Toni asked impatiently, tapping her high heeled shoe against the floor. "Make a decision because we don't have a lot of time. And I'm not going to make these calls unless you're on board."
I looked around the concert hall. There were only a dozen or so people left, milling around. I swallowed my fears and uncertainties and nodded my head. "Yes, I'm in. Let's do this." If Toni was able to pull this off then I could get Nicole back. Tonight. Despite my mind telling me otherwise, my heart filled with hope again.
"Good. You can ride with us," Toni said, "Derrick, would you go pull the car around? Please?" She batted her eyelashes and pretended to pout.
Derrick gave her a kiss on the forehead, "Meet me out front in five minutes."
"Thank you," She winked at him seductively as she pulled out her cell phone. Again, I sat quietly by as Toni worked her magic. If this worked, if she was really able to pull this off, I was going to owe her big time. I'd do anything for her and I was going to be sure to tell her that.
Once she was finished with all of her calls, which she made in record time, I turned to Toni. "Are you sure about this?"
"No," she admitted, "but it's the only thing I can think of. Any other time I've tried to talk to her, she's run away. The only logical thing to do is put her in a position that she can't run away from."
I still wasn't fully convinced, but what did I have to lose? If she still didn't talk to me, I wouldn't be any worse off than I was right now.
Toni looped her arm through mine and together we walked to Derrick's car. My stomach was in knots and it felt like it took forever to get to Nicole's apartment. Once we arrived, all we could do was wait. That was sure to kill me. I silently prayed Toni knew what she was doing and that Nicole would finally talk to me.
CHAPTER 16
Nicole Baker
Mom had complained of a headache, so we'd dropped her off right after the conference. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt, but at least I got to spend the evening with my sister. We caught up on a lot of stuff. She told me her husband; Ethan just got a major promotion at work, and with it, a very substantial raise. They were looking to buy a bigger house because Jo was three months pregnant. She didn't look it, though. I was so happy for her. She'd always wanted a big family. And, I was going to be an aunt. How exciting was that? Jo also told me she left her job, which came as quite a shock because Jo had always been so self-sufficient. But, she wanted to focus on her pregnancy and making sure it was as healthy as possible. I wasn't quite sure what that meant. Lots of women maintained jobs and still had healthy pregnancies.
After all that, I opened up to her about Sean. I told her everything from how we met to how I caught him kissing another woman. Jo listened with a sympathetic ear, but she told me the same thing Toni had been telling me: I had to talk to him. Why was everyone pushing me to talk to him? Sean betrayed me. I didn't owe him a damn thing. Why couldn't anyone see that?
Thankfully, the drive back to my apartment was filled with talk of my music and baby names. "Do you want to come up for coffee or something?" I asked my sister once we pulled into the parking lot of my apartment building. I was enjoying spending time with Jo and I really didn't want to be alone tonight. Seeing Sean had rattled me way more than I thought it would. I know I'd invited him, but I really didn't think he'd show up.
"Caffeine isn't good for the baby," Jo said, getting out of the car. "But, I will have some water."
"I'm sure I can manage some water," I said with a smile as I led her toward my apartment. I put my key in the lock and fumbled with it. The darn thing had been sticking for weeks now. I guess I'd have to call maintenance again on Monday and have someone come fix it. I should've done it when it first started happening, but I'd been occupied with other things at the time.
Finally, I got the door unlocked and pushed it open. I stopped cold. Sitting on my couch, feet propped on the coffee table, flipping aimlessly through a magazine, was Toni. I glared at her. "I knew I should've had the locks changed."
"Oh, Nikki, I'm glad you're home. We need to talk," Toni said, dropping her feet to the floor and standing.
"No, we don't." Behind me, I heard the door close. I turned to look. Jo was sta
nding with her back against the door, blocking my ability to leave if I wanted. I glanced at Toni then back at my sister. "What the hell is going on here?"
"Nicole, please don't be mad," Jo said, still not moving from the door. "Toni called and asked me to help. Please, just listen to what she has to say. For me?"
I frowned. Growing up, Jo was all I had in the way of a role model. I could never say no to her, and she knew it. "Fine," I sighed and turned back to Toni, "Go ahead and talk."
Toni swallowed and nodded. "First of all, I'm not sorry I pushed you and Sean together. You two are perfect for each other and everyone who has ever seen you two knows that."
"That is the worst apology I've ever heard from you, Toni." I crossed my arms over my chest. Just because I agreed to listen to her didn't mean I was going to make it easy on her. Was I being unfair? Maybe? But I'd been hurt worse than I'd ever been before.
She smiled, "I am sorry you're hurting, though. You're my best friend, Nikki, and you know I hate it when you're hurt."
"Thank you," I mumbled.
"But, you're hurting yourself, Nicole." She took a step toward me. "Sean didn't do anything wrong."
I snorted with disgust. "I trusted him and he betrayed me. He kissed another woman, Antonia! I saw it with my own two eyes."
"Did you?"
"Did I what?"
"Did you really see him kissing another woman?"
"Yes!" Of course I did. I knew I did. Every time I closed my eyes I saw it. The image was burned into my memory.
"Really, Nikki? I mean, just stop and think about it for a minute. What did you really see?"
Tragically Wounded Page 9
