by Suzanne Hart
“To...” I cleared my throat. “To, uhm, wash things.” But I sounded just as breathless as I was.
I saw his lips fold into one of those irresistible crooked smiles. “Are you all right there Nance?” He asked.
I nodded. “Don’t worry about me.”
“I think you need a shower too,” he said, his voice having that mischievous lilt in it.
In all honesty, I wanted to join him. I wanted to do more than just join him. “A cold one maybe.”
I felt my nipples harden inside my leotard. There was no way he couldn’t see them.
“I think you’re dirty too.”
“Oh My God, stop!” I said with a deep breath.
He rubbed his hand against his torso, got a little paint that was still left on him, and then rubbed it on my face.
I let out a little screech, staring at him with wide eyes.
“Not a chance,” He said. “Now you have to join me.”
My eyes lingered on his bulge again. It was getting bigger. “If you insist…” I peeled off my jazz pants and leotard, putting them with his clothes. I was wearing nothing but my underwear when I slipped under the shower with him. I knew the water wasn’t any more than lukewarm, but it felt as hot as a rain-forest with him there. I was breathless even though my chest rose and fell with my heavy breaths. I watched him stare at me, taking in my neck, my collar bone, the curve of my chest, my breast, my legs. I almost jumped when he held my shoulder. I sighed as he leaned down and kissed me. I couldn’t think of anything but his lips on mine, our bodies touching, the sensation of skin on skin.
His hot breath fell on my neck, then he suddenly pushed me against the window, my wet hair slapping the glass. I gasped from the shock, but his hands were on my breasts, gently cupping and squeezing them. “Oh…” the word escaped from my lips.
“What’s wrong?” He asked. He paused, staring down at me.
I gazed up into those green eyes. Nothing could ever be wrong as long I was looking into them. “I want you.”
He chuckled, running his hands through my hair, grazing his fingers down my neck, my breasts. He touched me like he knew me, like my body was his. I loved the possession. It made me feel alive and free. I had never felt that way with a man before. “Is that a bad thing?” He whispered as he kissed me again.
“No.” I said, “except that you’re my brother’s best friend,” my eyes flickered shut as he clutched my waist, my hips and my ass. My toes curled under me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, desperately needing to hold on to something. I was rapidly losing control. I didn’t have a hope of stopping myself from kissing him back, from exploring that amazing body with my hands, from reaching down and feeling him, really feeling him, in my hand. God, he was so hard. He was pulsating as he grinded up against me.
“He doesn’t have to know about this, does he?” he growled.
Our breaths were ragged, forming an erotic symphony of desire as we played around with each other, teasing each other; his hands on my ass, my hand on his cock, his mouth, his lips, his tongue, everywhere. He took my face in both of his hands. “I want you. God, I want you so bad.” I felt him slip my panties off.
But that was it. That was as far as I had ever gone with a man before. I sucked in a breath as I tried to banish that thought from my mind. Did it matter? Did it really matter whether or not I happened to be a virgin? What was the worst that could happen? But my mind started churning. It ran round and round and round in circles until I couldn’t stop it. I just couldn’t. What if I wasn’t good enough for James? I had no clue what to do next and he’d figure that out.
“Stop!” I gasped.
He stepped back from me. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
I bent over, my hands on my knees. I was wet, gorging with desire from him, yet I could barely breathe, barely see straight. Was I okay? “Yeah, I just…”
He was a pace away from me, but I could see the genuine concern on his face. “Did I do something wrong?”
I shook my head. “No no… I just…. I thought I could do this, but actually, I can’t. I have to tell you something.”
He nodded. “What is it, Nancy? What do you have to tell me now?” His eyes were darkened with desire, and like he was slightly annoyed by the interruption.
As I gazed up at him in that little alcove, completely naked, surrounded in water and steam, somehow, I realized I had never wanted a man like this before. “Okay, well then. Here goes.” I took a deep breath, trying not to think about how embarrassed I was. “I’m a virgin.”
He froze, and even though his face didn’t change, I could tell from the look in his eyes that he was just doing his best to try to make sure that he didn’t give anything away.
I didn’t like that. “Say something.”
He gave me a smile, one that warmed my heart and made me feel comfort, in spite of it all. “Are you… saving yourself?” He finally asked.
My eyes widened. “God no!” I exclaimed without thinking. But then I realized something. “I mean, it’s not like that’s a bad thing.”
He sighed with relief. “No it’s just- …”
“It’s not that…”
“So, why then?”
I shrugged, feeling a little irritated for being on the spot, as if I was being asked to explain myself. “I don’t know. I guess I never had time?”
He let out a dark chuckle. “Oh come on, what are you secretly a superhero?”
I laughed. “No.”
“Everyone has time.”
I gave him a tight smile. “I went to UCLA on a dance scholarship. I had to keep my grades up, win competitions, train. I didn’t have time.”
“You never met anybody?” He asked.
I shrugged. “Well… I didn’t go to parties and I only hung out with people I danced with. I dunno… I guess the time got away from me.”
He cast his gaze down. “I can understand that.”
“You can?”
“You’re really focused on your craft. I respect that.”
I felt like I had to say something else, so I crossed the small distance between us, resting my hands on his torso. “I’m focused on you too.”
He rubbed my neck, his touch making me shudder. “You are?”
I nodded. “I just… It’s been too long now, you know? I don’t know what I’m gonna feel like when it finally happens so I just… I don’t want to do it with just anyone… anywhere. You know?”
He wrapped his arms around me. It already felt so natural, what we were doing. “I know.”
“I’m just waiting for the right moment.”
He lifted my chin, planting a kiss on my lips. “Then, I’ll wait with you.”
I wasn’t sure if he was just saying that to be polite, or if he actually meant it. As much as I knew about James, he was a player, like my brother. But in that moment, I chose not to think about that aspect of him.
We stood under that shower for a little while longer, enjoying each other’s company a little more. I listened to the thudding of his heart, realizing how absolutely, irrevocably infatuated I was with him. I couldn’t stop my own heart from pounding. But the deeper I felt for him, the deeper the anxiety got. This was a guy who had his whole life figured out and I had just told him that I completely gave up my social life for a dance career, one that I didn’t even have yet. I knew that I shouldn’t have been letting my failure affect me so much, but losing that loan filled me with a terror I couldn’t ignore. What if I never got the job I had been training my entire life for?
What if this was it? And what if that would never be good enough for someone like James?
7
James
I stood in the elevator that zoomed up to the top floor of a conservationist building in Beverly Hills. The rooftop lounge on top of it was my favorite place to meet a client or have a work lunch with someone from the office.
I straightened the sleeve on my button down shirt, fingering the gold cuff-link as I waited. After my imprompt
u shower with Nancy, all I could think about was her. I couldn’t believe that someone as gorgeous, alluring, sexual as her could be a virgin, but it wasn’t a bad thing. If anything, it taught me something more about her. It told me that she was goal oriented and passionate about dancing. I liked that in a woman, and it looked unbelievably sexy on her. It was hard for me to think about her without wanting to see her. God, I hadn’t been this in deep with a woman in a long time. I had no idea what to do about it. I wanted to see her, learn more about her, spend time with her, but I couldn’t let her distract me. The fact of the matter was that I had a huge problem staring me square in the face. In a week, I was going to have to introduce my Uncle to my fiancée--- a fiancée I didn’t even have yet. And one I’d chickened out of telling Nancy about.
The doors swung open to reveal a rooftop lounge in the midst of a busy lunch shift. The overhead canopy was intertwined with greenery, filtering out the harsh sunlight coming through and leaving a warm glow on everything. The place was designed to look like the middle of someone’s garden; the wooden floor dotted with tables made of light wood, each with their own vase of flowers, an eclectic mix of whatever they could find. There was the light sound of indie music playing in the background. It served as a nice undertone to the hum and voices of the people chattering to each other. They wore identical outfits of white shirts and light washed jeans. Waiters rushed around the tables. I scanned the room for the person I was looking for. My eyes landed on a table towards the center of the room with one man sitting at it. It was Andy Wilson, the man who had been my accountant ever since my parents died and I inherited their fortune.
He looked especially nervous that day, running his hands through his thick brown hair. He kept it a little long, even though it was thick and curly. He was often confused for a woman because of that. He always wore his quintessential pair of eyeglasses; they had a slight tint and brown rims. It made him look like he had stepped out of a seventies music video. He was wearing a brown blazer, the kind with the elbows cut out, and a white button down shirt. I walked up to him, giving him a little nod when he looked up and managed to make eye contact with me.
He stood up and reached out his hand to mine. “James Paris.”
I smiled, shaking his hand. “Andy.” He’d known me for years, why did he feel the need to greet me like we had never met before?
I sat down across from him and picked up the menu. “So, you picked the place. Do you know what’s good?”
“Uh, yeah. I like the gazpacho.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m not feeling like cold soup right now... somehow,” I joked.
He didn’t laugh, but just gave me an even stare. I was starting to remember why he annoyed me so much.
“I think I’ll just go with the grilled chicken sandwich.”
He nodded, his lips pursed in thought. “Good choice.”
“Oh you’ve had it?”
He shook his head. There was a look on his face that told me he was wondering why I was asking him this in the first place. “No.”
I nodded, placing the menu on the edge of the table, a signal to whoever the waitress was that I was ready to order. She finally came by, her hands folded leisurely in front of her, a smile on her face. I gave her my order, nodding at Andy to do the same. When she left, I turned my attention towards him. “Okay, so let’s get started.”
Andy nodded. He slipped his bag off the side of his chair. It fell to the ground with a thump. I reached instinctively to help him, but he lifted a hand, telling me that it was fine. Then, he picked up the bag and placed it on the table. He pried it open and slipped a stack of papers out of it. Just then, a couple of other papers fell out of the bag and onto the floor.
“Do you- …”
But he raised his hand again. “No, no. Don’t worry about me.”
I watched with a raised eyebrow as he struggled to get his things together. Finally, he had put the papers back safely in his bag, stowed the bag away on his chair and was staring at a file that I was sure represented my finances. “Okay, so I looked through your liquid assets and analyzed your current budget, just like you asked.”
I nodded. “And?”
“And you- …” He paused as the waitress came back with two glasses of water and a plate of lemons. I squeezed the lemons into my water. I took a sip of the tart drink as I waited for him to find his equilibrium. Finally, he continued with, “And you have about $129,567 to spend on this new business venture.”
I sucked in a deep breath. I had obviously never done something like this before, but that number seemed like more than high enough to secure me a good contract. “Okay, sounds good. And how do I, or you, make that available?”
Andy opened his mouth, and then shut it again.
“What is it?”
“Well, as your accountant…”
“Yes?”
“I have to ask you what it’s for.”
I nodded. This was the hard part. I guess I just had to overcome that strange, deep seated feeling of doing something wrong. I wasn’t the first person to pay a woman to pretend to be engaged with me, and I wouldn’t be the last. Besides, it was a means to an end, a more than worthy end.
“I’m planning on faking an engagement. And these funds are a tool to persuade someone to help me.”
His face stayed even. “And do you know who that someone is?”
I shook my head. My stomach rolled in discomfort just at the thought that I had no idea. “I was planning on holding interviews.”
“Is that really necessary?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
He cleared his throat. “Well, your last name is Paris. Any woman you don’t pick is gonna walk out of your office and walk right to the Times to sell them the story of how you wanted to fake an engagement.”
“So we write an NDA?”
Andy nodded slowly. “Sure.”
“All right then.” I took another sip of my water.
“I still don’t understand why you have to hold auditions.”
“I didn’t say auditions. I said interviews, and it’s so that I can determine who the best match is for the family, and for me.”
“Why are you faking this engagement?”
I sucked in a deep breath. This was actually the first time that I was saying this out loud. I was going to have to get behind my choice if I expected anyone else to. I shuddered to think of the reason I was being so hesitant in the first place. The image of Nancy standing across from me in that makeshift shower, naked and wet, came to mind, but I banished it as hard and fast as I could. “I’ve been offered the job of a lifetime.”
Andy’s eyes went wide. “You don’t mean…”
I nodded. “The company.”
He guffawed. I glanced around me, confirming that people definitely were throwing us looks of discomfort. “You’ll be set for life.”
“It’s not about the money. Anyway, my uncle has a problem with the fact that I’m single. So, I need to not be. At least until he officially signs over the company. Then, I can break it off.”
Andy nodded. “Sounds like a plan. So, in that case, you are going to need to write up this NDA,” he said.
Not long after that, the waitress came back. She dropped off the weird cold soup and my grilled chicken sandwich. As we ate the ‘gourmet’ food, he pulled out his notepad and started writing down all these ideas of what we should include in the contract. Even though Andy was weird as hell, I always felt a little bit surer of myself and a little more protected after our meetings together. By the end of the lunch, I left feeling prepared to embark on the weird journey I had set myself on.
Later that night, I was sitting in Neil’s living room, watching the end of the football game. It was kind of an old tradition of ours. We had decided to reinstate it when he got back from London. Looking around his apartment, I had to say that he really hadn’t changed much. He still gravitated towards the dark, muted colors, the simple patterns, the straight lines and sharp
edges. I sat back on his dark blue upholstered couch with my beer. I glanced over at him before something on the TV drew my attention right back. The commentators were yelling into their mics as the running back for the New York Giants went shooting across the field. My eyes widened, my breath getting lighter, my heart beating faster as he made it all the way to the end-zone. “Whoa!!!!” Neil yelled.
“Yes!” I echoed, jumping up.
“The Giants win again.” Neil said as we lingered there, watching the players celebrate.
“What a success.” I said.
Neil stepped around his glass coffee table and gestured at me to follow him. I walked across the small breakfast area, standing on the other side of the bar that separated his kitchen from his living room. “You want another?” Neil asked, pulling a Heineken out of the fridge.
I shook my head. I was so full of wings, fries and beer that the thought of putting something else in my mouth made me gag. “Nah. I’m good man.”
Neil nodded, and then sat down at the high top. “What’s goin’ on with you?”
I sat next to him. “What do you mean?” I asked, setting my beer on the dark countertop.
Neil let out a dry laugh. “‘What do you mean’?” He mocked. “You can’t hide shit from me.”
I laughed. “Seriously, nothing’s up.” I didn’t know how he’d feel about the whole fake fiancée thing.” Besides, there was something else I was hiding from him. I’d kissed his sister. I had her deepest most private parts in my hand. I’d seen her practically naked. There was no way Neil would be happy to know that.
“You barely talked the whole game… and you barely watched it either.”
I frowned. “It’s not something I really wanna talk about right now.”
Neil rolled his eyes. “Haven’t you already figured out that you can’t keep things from me? Come on, man. You’re better than that.”
“You know you’re my best friend,” I said, trying not to grimace at the way that felt coming out of my mouth.
