A cheer went up and glasses clinked. I drank from my own, then set it down to scoop Ford from Mina’s arms. I caught David’s surprised glance, and Joss’s, too. They were acting as if I never held the baby. But he and I were buddies. I kissed the top of his head and smiled when he tried to push his head back to look at me.
Domesticity.
“Looking good, Ash,” Kirkland said, holding his glass up to me.
I inclined my head in acknowledgement.
There was laughter. I remember there being a lot of laughter around the table when I was a kid. I also remember my parents stealing kisses in the kitchen or behind the newspaper, inspiring David and I to make vomiting sounds. I kissed the top of Ford’s head, wondering if he’d be just as precocious as David and I were.
“Do you know he used to play with dolls?” David suddenly said.
Mina’s eyes brightened. “Yeah?”
David nodded. “He had this little redheaded doll that he called…what was it, Ash?”
I shook my head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Connie,” David said. “You called it Connie.”
I remembered it all too well, but that was not something I wanted Mina to hear. How embarrassing was that? Childhood secrets should remain secrets.
“He used to rock her to sleep every night, and he’d insist on sitting her in one of the chairs in the dining room every night during dinner. Do you remember that dinner party Mom and Dad had, how they had to explain that raggedy doll sitting at the table with everyone?”
David started to laugh. I threw a dinner roll at him that he successfully dodged.
“You told everyone that she was your daughter and you had to treat her well.”
“I was five.”
“You were older than that if I can remember it.”
“You’re imagining things.”
David just laughed again.
“It’s okay,” Mina said, touching my knee. “I used to play with G.I. Joe dolls. My mom tried desperately to get me to play with Barbies, but I didn’t want anything to do with them. They didn’t have guns.”
“I knew there was a reason why I liked you,” I said, kissing her lightly.
You would think I’d just stripped naked and done a dance on the table the way everyone suddenly fell silent. Then Kirkland said, “I had a couple of Barbie dolls. Loved them. Used to strip them naked and play with them in the bath.”
“That explains a lot,” Donovan said.
***
“David said you went to New York yesterday.”
I’d been waiting for Joss to say something. I was in the kitchen, an apron around my waist, cleaning up the last of the dishes that wouldn’t fit in the dishwasher. I reached for a pot near her elbow and smiled down at the baby nestled against her breast.
“She looks just like you, you know.”
Joss touched her daughter’s cheek. “She’s got her dad’s nose.”
“That’s not a bad thing, is it?”
“Of course not.” Then she focused on me, and her eyes narrowed. “Don’t change the subject, Ashford Grayson.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Did you see her?”
“I did.”
“What was that like?”
How was I supposed to put that into words? I dunked the pot in the hot water and began to scrub, my thoughts running and turning like a hamster on a wheel.
“She’s a teacher. Married with a six month old baby.”
“How do you know?”
I glanced at her. “David knows his stuff, Joss.”
She nodded, looking down at her own baby. “He tried to show me the file once. He wanted me to show it to you because he thought you would take it better from me.”
“I don’t think I would have taken it well from anyone. She ran away. She left me behind and ran away because she couldn’t handle that life anymore.” I shook my head. “It’s a betrayal. And I can’t do that sort of betrayal.”
“If you hadn’t met Mina before you went, do you think you’d feel the same?”
“Yes.” I glanced at her. “That’s probably why I didn’t go back when he first gave it to me.”
“You loved her.”
“I loved the woman I thought she was. But that woman? That wasn’t my Alexi. Maybe she never was.”
She was quiet for a minute. Then, “Sometimes I think we see what we need to see in the people we care about. And when we don’t need that anymore, we start to see what’s really there.”
“Is that how it was with you and Esteban?”
She looked at me, her eyes a little wide. “I always thought I married him because I loved him. But now? I think Esteban was the family I needed at the time. But, by the time everything happened, I already knew that things had changed. I didn’t want that as much as I thought I did.” She brushed the baby’s forehead with the back of her fingers. “Not that I didn’t love him. I’d probably still be with him if not for the accident. I just would have had to compromise a little more, you know?”
“And Carrington?”
A smile that lit up her entire face spread her lips.
“Carrington would never allow me to settle for anything. He sees me, sees what I need and what I want before I can figure out which is which. He knows when to take care of me and when to back off. He knows…he knows me in a way Esteban never would have.”
It was nice to see Joss so happy. Three and a half years ago, I’d found her dirty and uncommunicative, lying in a bed that hadn’t been made or washed in months, a bottle of pills in the nightstand just waiting until she hit the lowest point, until the moment she realized there was nothing left for her. I gave her something. And Carrington had given her more.
Life was worth living, even after the worst tragedy a person can imagine.
There was such a thing as second chances. Joss had found that in Carrington.
Would I find mine in Mina?
Chapter 20
At Rose’s
Rose ran her thumb over an image of her husband’s face, remembering the day the photo she was wrapping in newspaper had been taken. He’d been a gentle man, her husband. Too shy to allow many photos to be taken of him, but he’d been distracted enough that day to allow it. He’d taken them to the beach. Michael, her youngest, was playing in the waves, and Bruce, her eldest, was chasing the dog up and down the shoreline. Richard, her husband, wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear all the things he’d planned to do to her when they got home. She’d laughed, telling him they were too old for that sort of talk anymore.
“You’re never too old for love.”
That was when Bruce ran up with his camera, snapping the picture with almost no warning.
It was Rose’s favorite picture of Richard. He’d gotten sick a year later and would be gone in a matter of months. This picture represented the last of the final bit of happiness they’d shared.
She slid it into a box that was going to the cottage, one of only a dozen she was allowing herself. The cottage was much too small for all the things that filled this four-bedroom house. The rest would go into storage for a while, until the kids had a chance to pick through it and chose what they wanted for themselves. Then she’d probably sell the rest, or donate it to charity.
Funny how life could be boiled down to just a few belongings. But it was almost a relief to leave this house. To simplify her existence.
She’d been grateful to Ash for offering her a job. She’d never really worked before, so the idea of venturing out into the workplace blind was daunting. But she’d organized a family for thirty years. How hard could it be to translate those skills to an office?
More than that, how great would it be to get out of her own head and focus on something beyond her grief?
Ash saved her life. She liked to think she’d done the same for him and Donovan and Kirkland and Joss and David. They were as much her kids as her biological sons. She’d do anything for them.
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It felt good to be moving to the compound.
But she was too old to stay up so late.
Rose went to the bedroom and performed her nightly ritual, brushing her teeth, combing her hair, applying her nighttime moisturizer. Then she crawled into bed, a sigh of relief slipping from her lips as she lay down. It always felt good to get into bed every night.
She was nearly asleep when she heard a sound downstairs. She sat up, grabbing her cell phone off the nightstand. She listened for a long minute, but then decided it was just her imagination.
Getting so old…
She put her cell phone down and curled up again.
She didn’t even hear them come through the door.
Chapter 21
Mina
The house was finally quiet. Kirkland and Mabel had just left, stumbling down the front steps to their cottage, a hundred yards or so to the left of the main house. Ash stood at the front windows, watching them go.
“You know, she was a client of ours. She owns a pornographic website and—”
“Mabel owns a porno site?”
“Yeah. Pretty funny, huh?” he asked, drawing me against his side.
“You’d never guess, just talking to her.”
“She’s a pretty innocent kid until you get her into a board room. Then she becomes a firecracker from what I’ve heard.”
“Wow. I think she just became my new hero.”
“She is something else. And Kirkland…you should have known him before her. He was something of a playboy, never sticking with the same girl longer than it took to get the deed done. But Mabel changed all that.”
“Good for them.”
“The same’s true about Ricki and David. He was in a wheelchair before he met her, refusing to get the surgery. But then she got into some trouble and he decided he needed to be able to protect her.”
“Romantic.”
“Not to her. She was pretty pissed for a while.”
“What about Donovan and Kate?”
“They knew each other when they were kids. Grew up together. But then on the night of their high school graduation, they were off stealing a few moments alone together and her brother was beaten to death. She blamed him, and he blamed himself for a long time, but then she was a witness to a murder. Her father hired Donovan directly, and they worked their way through it.”
“Intense.”
He looked down at me, running his hand slowly over the side of my face. “They all have dramatic stories to tell their grandchildren.”
“Even Joss?”
“Oh, yeah. She was mute, wouldn’t speak out of grief for the accident that took her husband and child. But then she was assigned to watch over McKelty after her father received a few kidnapping threats. The two of them…they were like oil and vinegar at first.”
“Wouldn’t know it now.”
“No. They found their way to each other.”
“What about Rose?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know how she met her husband. But I know she adored him. I saw them together every day when I went up to the hospital to visit David.”
“Hospital?”
“He had pancreatic cancer. She stayed by his side until he died. And then she disappeared for quite a while. When I decided to start Gray Wolf, I tracked her down, asked her to come work with us. I thought she needed us, but I think we needed her a little more.”
I curled up closer against him. “You did a lot for these people. You saved Joss from her depression. Saved Rose from her grief. You helped Donovan find closure. Gave David a reason to get out of his chair. And you gave Kirkland a human connection he probably never knew before.”
“I didn’t do that. I just run a security firm.”
“You do more than that.”
He turned into me and pressed his lips to my forehead.
“I was standing here, wondering what story we’d tell people.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do we start with Ford’s birth, or do we start further back, with Alexi and the hell she put me through so that I’d step onto the road that would lead to you?”
He kissed me, and I was instantly lost in his touch. I slid my arms around his neck and let him pick me up. I didn’t even realize we’d made it to the stairs until he rested me against the railing to lift off my shirt. His hand slipped under my bra and his phone began to buzz.
I groaned, but he ignored it. Unfortunately, whoever was on the other end was determined to get through to him. Another buzz, another touch of silence, then more buzzing.
“You should probably see who it is at least.”
“Sorry, babe,” he said, pressing his lips to my throat as he reached into his pocket for the phone. About the same instant he pulled it from his pocket, someone began pounding on the front door.
The fear that shot across Ash’s face scared the crap out of me.
He untangled himself from my limbs and rushed back down the stairs.
“It’s Rose,” I heard Kirkland say. “They broke into her house, beat her until she convinced them she was dead.” Kirkland’s usual playful tone was deeply serious. “They’re taking her to the hospital now.”
Ash was pale when he turned to me.
“Go,” I said. “Don’t worry about me.”
He came over and took my face between both his hands. He didn’t say anything, just studied my face for a long second. Then he kissed me before rushing off, leaving behind a puff of dust as he drove away.
All I could think was Dimitri. It had to be Dimitri.
Chapter 22
Ash
It was like a repeat of the day Kirkland was shot, except Kirkland was sitting in the passenger seat beside me. We pulled up to the emergency room, and I could see three other SUVs identical to mine parked close to the front doors. Joss, the baby in her arms, Carrington, Donovan, Kate, David, and Ricki were all in the waiting room in various stages of pacing.
As much as it was something of a relief to see them all here, all well, I knew it was a bad idea.
“Is Emily here?” I demanded of David.
“She’s with Rose.”
“You can’t all be here.” I looked around at their familiar faces, then focused on Donovan. “You stay with me. The rest of you need to go to the compound. Joss,” I said, turning to her, “help Mina find a place for everyone to sleep.”
“Ash—”
“Don’t argue with me.”
I could see the panic building in Kate’s eyes, the overwhelming fear in Ricki’s. I wasn’t being paranoid. Someone was out to get my people, and until I knew who that was, I wasn’t going to put anyone else at risk.
“Do what I said. Please.”
There were a lot of hugs and requests to be kept up-to-date, but they left, dragging themselves out to the SUVs and driving in a caravan that might have been the worst idea ever. But, as much as I realized whoever was behind this wasn’t done, I didn’t think they would hit us again tonight. They wanted us to suffer.
“We need to talk to Emily. We need to know what’s going on.”
Donovan led the way to the nurse’s desk. He managed to convince the severe-looking woman sitting there that we were Rose’s sons. She let us back, and we nearly ran headlong into Emily.
There was blood smeared on her sleeve. I tried not to think of it as Rose’s blood, but it was hard not to.
“You have to let us do our job, Ash,” Emily said immediately, pushing me back with a hand on my chest.
“What happened?”
She shook her head. “All she could tell us was that three men broke into her house shortly after she went to bed, dragged her into the living room, and beat her. She fought them for a little while, but then she went limp. They thought she was dead, so they left. She grabbed the phone and called 9-1-1.”
“Good for Rose,” Donovan said.
Emily leaned back against the wall, clearly exhausted. “Jack’s got his best people on this one. He understands how important R
ose is to you guys. But, without an ID from Rose, there’s not much he can do unless they get a hit on a print or one of the assholes was thoughtful enough to leave behind some DNA.”
“That’s why you need to let us deal with this,” Donovan said.
Emily straightened up, pulling herself to her full height. “You won’t be doing anything. You’ll let the police do their job.”
“But you just said—”
“Yeah, well, miracles have been known to happen. And I’d rather play for a miracle than watch you get yourself killed.”
I grabbed Donovan’s shoulder and pulled him back.
“Can we see her?”
“They’re about to take her to surgery. But, yeah, you probably can.”
Emily led the way back down the hall, pausing outside an exam room door.
“Prepare yourself. They did quite a number on her.”
I’ve been to war. I’ve seen pretty much the worst people can do to one another. But when I stepped through that door, I was horrified. I heard Donovan gasp, and he’s an explosives expert. He’s seen people torn to pieces by his bombs, but I guess it was different when it was someone you knew.
“Hey, Rose,” I said, crossing to her and taking her hand in mine.
“Ash,” she mumbled through lips that were swollen to ten times their normal size.
“Don’t talk. It’s okay.”
She tried to shake her head, but there was so much going on and so much pain that she simply wasn’t capable of it.
“Don’t…my boys.”
“We have to call them, Rose.”
“No.”
It was single word, but it was clear. She didn’t want her kids to know.
“Okay.”
Donovan moved up beside me and ran his hand over one patch of clear skin on her jaw.
“We’ll take care of you, Rose,” he said softly. “You’re going to be okay.”
She closed her eyes, or eye as the other was already closed because of the swelling. And then the nurse asked us to step back so they could take her up to surgery.
I watched her go, anger and hatred for whoever could do this to such a kind, gentle woman boiling in my chest.
ASHFORD (Gray Wolf Security #5) Page 9
