What would she think if she knew the truth? But the picture she was painting was a sad one; it made me see Miles in a new light. Maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy, after all.
Elena squeeze my knee. “I think I’d like to go up and lie down now. Would you help me back to the house?”
“Of course.”
Chapter 8
There was a party that night. I didn’t realize it until Lila mentioned something about it halfway through lunch. Not only was there to be a party, but apparently, Miles and I were the guests of honor.
I dressed slowly, more conscious of my humble upbringing in those moments than I ever had been before. I couldn’t get Elena out of my thoughts, how gracious and beautiful she was even as she fought a fatal illness. And Lila. She was funny and sensitive and kind, her eyes often moving over Miles’ face as we lounged together over lunch. She was clearly worried about him, and I felt as though she was looking to me for some sort of sign that he was okay, but I didn’t know how to give her that. I barely knew this man I called my husband, and what I did know, I’d learned just that morning from his mother. How was I supposed to reassure her when I didn’t even know what it was she was worried about in the first place?
I heard the bedroom door open, and I stood, glancing in the mirror one last time before I stepped out of the bathroom. Miles was sitting on the edge of the loveseat, sliding his tennis shoes off as I came into the room. I must have made a sound because he looked up and that expressionless mask he wore most of the time slipped slightly, showing something like interest, as his took in the mermaid-style gown I was wearing.
“Lila said it was black tie, and this is all I brought that’s really formal.”
He cleared his throat, as his attention turned back to his shoes. “You look fine.”
“Are there going to be a lot of people at this party?”
“My parents don’t have a party without inviting the entire who’s who list from Boston. It will be quite a crowd.”
That idea made my heart jump into my throat. I turned away and nearly tripped over the hem of my dress, as I made my way back to the bathroom. I barely caught myself on the door jamb. And then Miles was there, his hands snaking around my waist.
“Sorry,” he said against my ear, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, I just…that’s a lot of strangers to meet in one night.”
“You’ll be fine. Just stay by my side.”
I nodded, leaning into him for a second. Why did it feel so good to be in his arms? Why did feel so perfect? It was like his body was made for mine. Or maybe it was mine that’d been made for his. Either way, we seemed to fit together like two puzzle pieces that had been separated for far too long. I felt it every time we touched, like my body was crying out for that connection, that completion.
It was stupid, really. He wasn’t mine. He never would be.
I pulled away and slipped into the bathroom, avoiding my reflection in the mirror.
We walked into the sitting room, hand-in-hand, forty minutes later. The room was already filled from wall to wall, even though the official start to the party was only fifteen minutes before our arrival. Miles squeezed my hand as though saying, Here we go. We moved into the room, and we were quickly surrounded, names being thrown around like popcorn at a viewing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I tried to keep up and tried to remember each name, but it was nearly impossible. Whenever I was forced to speak to someone directly and couldn’t remember their name, Miles was kind enough to whisper it in my ear. That was the only way I could get through it.
Champagne was flowing from a small fountain on the veranda, and waiters and waitresses were filling glasses and passing them out by the hundreds. I had a few, I’m not ashamed to admit. I needed something to keep my nerves under control. The only time I felt completely at ease was the brief moment as we stepped onto the veranda and the band began playing Sinatra’s “The Way You Look Tonight”. Miles pulled me into his arm and moved into an impromptu spin, making me laugh as he dropped me into a quick dip. He laughed, too, and the beauty of that made something inside of me melt away. But then he lifted me up, and I saw Claire Watson—Thorn, now, I supposed—walk into the sitting room on the arm of a man who could be Miles’ twin.
Miles saw my expression change, and he glanced over his shoulder, tension rushing through his body so quickly that he might have broken my fingers if he hadn’t dropped my hand in that same instant.
He turned and rushed toward the approaching couple, a darkness like nothing I’d ever seen before washing over his face.
“Miles,” I said, grabbing at his tuxedo jacket.
He didn’t pause; he didn’t even seem to hear me. I searched the room for Lila, a little relieved to see that she was headed in our direction, too, honest fear written in her movements. I reached for Miles again, managing to grab the back of his jacket as he came face to face with his brother.
“You have a lot of nerve showing up here.”
“This is my home, too, if you’ll recall.”
Miles glared at his brother. “This party is for me, for my wife. You shouldn’t be here.”
“Maybe I just came to wish you congrats, big brother,” he said, a snide tone to his voice as his eyes shifted and landed on me. “And this must be the blushing bride.”
Without looking at me, Miles slid his arm across my waist and pulled me back behind him. “Don’t look at her,” he said. “Don’t even look at her.”
Robert’s eyebrows rose. He began to speak, but Claire moved up beside him, efficiently sliding between the two men.
“Let’s go say hello to you mother, darling,” she said in a high-pitched voice that was nothing like the confident tones Lisa and I had imagined she had.
“That sounds like a good idea,” Lila said, sliding up beside Miles. “She’s out on the veranda.”
Robert looked from his sister to his brother, a defiant light burning in his eyes. “I guess we can finish this later, brother.”
“It is finished.”
Robert slid his arm around Claire’s waist and moved away. Claire looked back, as I moved around Miles, sliding my hand into his. There was something in her expression that was almost sad. It almost made me feel somewhat sorry for her, but then they disappeared out the back doors.
“Don’t let him get you all worked up,” Lila said to Miles while shooting me a look that said, Keep him out of trouble.
“Why is he here?”
“Mother invited him. She was hoping everyone could make amends now that things have changed.”
“Nothing has changed,” Miles said.
Lila’s eyebrows rose slightly as she looked pointedly at me. Miles looked at me, too, a little guiltily. After a second’s hesitation, he tugged me closer to him and said, “Come on.”
We went back out onto the veranda, and he led the way to the small space that had been cleared to act as a dance floor. He pulled me into his arms and held me gently in his arms, moving slowly to a song I didn’t recognize, but whose melody I would likely never forget. It was the music to which my husband truly held me for the first time. We moved slowly, not really moving at all, but swaying as we held each other the way newlyweds often do. I could feel his heart pounding against my chest, could feel his pulse under my thumb as I pressed my hand to his throat. His scent washed over me, filling my every pore, becoming a part of who I was in that moment. It was the first time I truly felt like a bride, like I belonged to someone, that I was a part of something bigger than myself.
It was a natural extension of the moment for him to lift my chin with a finger on my jaw, for his lips to seek mine. It was familiar, the taste of him, as he pressed his lips to mine. I sighed—I couldn’t help myself—and moved closer to him, wanting to be closer. How he could go from anger to this so quickly. I wasn’t sure, but it was a dream, less bizarre than the moment of our vows, but surreal just the same. I was floating, dancing on a cloud, no longer aware of the sea of humanity surrounding us. Non
e of it really mattered anymore.
It felt like a new beginning. My heart began to open, and I felt myself falling. I thought it was safe…I should have known better.
Two months later, he would hand me divorce papers and inform me that my obligation to him had been fulfilled. He would bring me out to a new car he bought for me—out of guilt?—and send me on my way with a list of potential employers I should call. It was like being unceremoniously fired from a beloved job. In reality, it felt like he’d cut me off at my knees, made love to me the night before and tossed me away the next morning, like a regretted one-night stand.
It was not one of my best moments.
Yet, that moment on the dance floor was one to hold on to.
I still hold on to it.
Chapter 9
Is it insane that I still cling to that moment all these months later?
Here I am, walking onto a cruise ship, my aunts waving at me from the dock, trying to put the past behind me and begin anew, only to have the memory of that kiss still so ingrained in every part of me. I had to get past it. Miles Thorn, our marriage, and the divorce that followed were my past now. Six months. You’d think I’d be able to get over it in that amount of time.
I stepped off of the gangplank and was immediately greeted by a young steward.
“Your ticket, please.”
I shifted my bag from hand to shoulder and handed him the papers I’d been holding for what seemed like hours. A clear change came over him as he read the ticket.
“I apologize, Mrs. Thorn. We’ve been waiting for you.”
He turned and began walking away before it even registered what he’d called me, let alone allow me to develop an argument for his choice of address. I’d reverted to my maiden name after I signed the divorce papers. No one called me Mrs. Thorn anymore, except for Lisa when she’s feeling especially facetious. But he was gone and if I was going to follow, I needed to hurry.
The steward led the way down a flight of stairs and across the front of the ship, finally stopping at a set of double doors. It seemed like double doors had become something of a symbol in my life, leading to more pleasure and pain than I’d ever wanted to experience. Let’s hope that these doors weren’t more of the same.
He opened them with a flourish and gestured for me to enter.
“Dinner is at eight. You’ll be dining with the captain this evening.”
“Excuse me?” I said, turning just in time to see him disappear.
Guy was like Speedy Gonzales.
But it didn’t really matter. The room was beautiful, a massive sitting room with an amazing view of the harbor outside a sliding glass door. And the bedroom—that bed was a work of art! I ran my hand over the coverlet, unable to resist the silky feel of the material under my fingers.
It’d been a long day. It crossed my mind to curl up on that bed and to sleep for the next few days, but I remembered what he said about dining with the captain. I should take a shower. A twelve-hour car ride with two old women was not really the best way to stay fresh. I tried to talk them out of coming, but they insisted that they wanted to see me off. If Lisa hadn’t agreed to take a week off of work and join them in the morning…
I really needed to learn not to worry about my aunts so much.
I slowly undressed, my thoughts returning to Miles. I knew I shouldn’t be thinking about him, but the more I told myself not to, the more I did. The night of the party…I should have known better. I should have known he was only putting on a show for his brother and his ex-fiancée. But I fell for it. So it was my own fault that I got my heart broken.
I shook my head as I peeled my panties off and crossed the room to the bathroom. Was it crazy that I could still smell him? That the scent of wood and spices still brought the taste of his lips to my tongue? I swear I could smell him now, even here, fourteen thousand miles from home. I must be losing my mind.
I pushed open the door of the bathroom and…What the hell?
“Miles?”
He chuckled softly, as he turned from where he’d been shaving in the mirror, nothing but a thin towel wrapped around his waist. His eyes move slowly over me, over my nakedness, merriment dancing in his eyes.
“I was hoping you’d be happy to see me. But this is more than even I could hope for.”
Chapter 10
My heart crushed after the end of a marriage that never should have been, I boarded a cruise ship for a singles cruise that was the last thing I wanted to do, but I did for my dear, sweet aunts who’d bought the ticket as a birthday present. Not only did I not want to be here, I didn’t want my aunts wandering the streets of Miami while I was gone—even though my best friend, Lisa, would be there to watch over them—and I really didn’t want to meet anyone new. I’d already been on a series of awful dates. I had decided it was time to just sit back and spend a little time on my own, reassess my life, and maybe decide what I wanted to do with the rest of it. Was that so much to ask?
But my aunts were worried, and I hated to cause them any more trouble than I already had when I became an orphan who was thrust on them as an injured five year old. The car accident that killed my parents had left me in casts and bandages for months afterward, adding to the burden I must have been to my happily single, middle-aged aunts. They had made the choice not have children. Taking me in was really a sacrifice I can’t even imagine—so I do everything I can to make life easier for them.
Including this. Damn it!
The steward called me Mrs. Thorn. That bothered me. No one had called me that in the months since the divorce. I didn’t even use the name anymore, even though I’d earned the right. I returned to my maiden name of Giles. Yet, he called me Mrs. Thorn when I boarded the ship.
And then he said I was to have dinner with the captain. And this suite…I couldn’t imagine my aunts could really afford it. But, then again, I’d given them a significant portion of the money Miles paid me when he sent me packing at the end of our arrangement. I’d come to think of it as a marriage, as ironic as that seemed. But he thought of it as an arrangement. At least, he did on that last day. One minute we’re making love, the next, he’s pushing me out the door, telling me he doesn’t need me anymore….
Why did it still hurt so much? I mean, really, what did I expect from a marriage of convenience? He never even told me why he needed a wife so urgently, or why my boring, straight-laced life was so perfect for his needs. All he said was that he would save my aunts’ house—which was in headed to foreclosure after they, unbeknownst to me, mortgaged it for the first time in sixty years to pay my college tuition—and I jumped at the opportunity. Biggest mistake of my life.
Or maybe the biggest mistake had been allowing myself to fall under his spell and actually believe he loved me.
I wandered around the suite, admiring the luxury of it. It reminded me a little of the green room at his mother’s house—green everywhere. The draperies, the carpet, the small loveseat and recliner set into a corner, the comforter on the bed. Even the linens in the bathroom—which I could see through another set of double doors—were green. And not just one shade of green, but dozens. Kelly green. Emerald green. Pale green. The green of shamrocks and ivy—a room we shared. The room where we…
A shower was definitely in order. Twelve hours in a car with my two aunts was not exactly inducing a fresh feeling. And maybe the hot water would relieve a little of the tension that had suddenly settled in my shoulders.
I slowly undressed, my thoughts returning to Miles. I knew I shouldn’t be thinking about him, but the more I told myself not to, the more I did. The night of the party his parents threw for us…I should have known better. I should have known he was only putting on a show for his brother and his ex-fiancée. But I fell for it. So it was my own fault that I got my heart broken.
I shook my head as I peeled my panties off and crossed the room to the bathroom. Was it crazy that I could still smell him? That the scent of wood and spices still brought the taste of his lips to my ton
gue? I swear I could smell him now, even here, fourteen thousand miles from home. I must be losing my mind.
I pushed open the door of the bathroom and…What the hell?
“Miles?”
Miles Thorn. Son of Jackson Thorn, who, in turn, was the grandson of one of the most beloved senator’s in American history and a well-known financier in his own right. CEO of Thorn Construction, the fastest growing business in Texas at the moment. Miles Thorn. My ex-husband.
He chuckled softly as he turned from where he’d been shaving in the mirror, nothing but a thin towel wrapped around his waist. His eyes moved slowly over me, over my nakedness, merriment dancing in his eyes.
“I was hoping you’d be happy to see me. But this is more than even I could hope for.”
Shock usually paralyzes me. I can’t begin to express how happy I was that this moment was not one of those. I quickly grabbed a complimentary bathrobe hanging from the door beside me and pulled it on, stabbing my hands through the arms and wrapping it as tight against me as I could, trying not to look at Miles and give him the satisfaction of the hot blush on my cheeks. But even as I looked away, I couldn’t help but see the way that towel around his waist showed off his heavy hips and that beautiful…
Damn, why did he always do this to me?
“What are you doing here?”
“Taking a cruise. Isn’t that what you’re doing here?”
“No, I mean, here, in my room.”
“Our room, darling.”
I shook my head. “No, my aunts bought my ticket for me. It was a gift—”
“That I arranged.”
ASHFORD (Gray Wolf Security #5) Page 63
