When everyone had filtered off the stage, she wasn’t sure whether to bolt or stay. Talking to Sawyer would be painful; not talking to him would be painful. She’d waited too long to decide, though, because he’d walked toward her, a determined set to his jaw. He stopped right in front of her and the air shifted, heavy and pressing against her skin like a wool blanket.
“I’ve felt like shit all afternoon,” he’d said.
And she’d thought, Good, at least I’m not alone in the shitiness feeling. She’d opened her mouth to try to say something, but then pressed her lips together, not trusting her words to come out steady. Then she’d told herself to rein it in. Stay in character. Jaded. Strong. Not interested in a relationship, anyway.
Sawyer rubbed the back of his neck. “I finished painting the kitchen and it looks good.” He’d taken a hesitant step closer. “Wanna come over and see it?”
“I can’t,” she said, which was true, because it’d be too hard for her to keep up the act for that long. “I’ve got an early morning tomorrow.” Also true, but before his earlier confession, she would’ve gone over anyway.
“Brynn.” He’d put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed. Her throat ached from holding back her emotions.
She hadn’t been able to look him in the eye, so she’d focused on the fake tree behind him. “It’s not because of what you told me earlier, I swear. In fact, that works out perfectly for me. My friend’s been talking about setting me up with this guy forever, and now I can tell her to go ahead without feeling bad.”
“Okay. Well, maybe you can come over tomorrow night.”
“Actually, I’m going to be really busy during the next few days.”
“Doing what?”
She’d pulled away far enough that his hand dropped. “I have a job. What, you think I’m just a spoiled California girl whose daddy pays for everything?”
“Of course not. I never said anything like that.”
Irritation had bubbled up, and suddenly, she was pissed. At him for making her like him so much, and at herself for letting it happen when she knew better. The anger had eclipsed the pain nicely and helped her work up the indifference she was going for. “I’ll catch you later.” She’d started past him, but he stepped into her path.
“So, where do you work?”
Did he not get that she was trying to make a dramatic exit? She’d blown out her breath. “At a shop.”
“Which shop?”
She glanced up, meeting his eyes, trying to ignore the way her heart lurched. “Does it matter?”
If he said yes, she wasn’t sure how she’d respond. Since she’d acted like she’d never fished before when he took her, she’d feel pretty stupid admitting she worked at a bait shop. And if he came into Bigfish, there would be complications with Paul, and the less Sawyer inserted himself into her life, the better. That way, it would be easier when he left.
A sharp pain had pierced the center of her chest.
“I guess not,” Sawyer said. “Unless you want me to come in and visit sometime?” Hope had flickered in his eyes and the pain spread through her lungs.
“No thanks. I’ve got enough men who only want one thing visiting me already.” With that, she’d left, her exit even more dramatic than she’d wanted.
Now, Brynn dropped her head on the desk and let herself wallow in the awful, nauseous feeling she’d had ever since. She’d meant fishing equipment—well, that’d been what she was thinking, but she knew how it’d sound. After she’d gotten home, she’d watched out the window, waiting for the light to go on next door, hoping she might gather up the courage to apologize.
After a while she’d given up and gone to bed. But she hadn’t fallen asleep.
“Hey, sis, maybe you could get out here and help me?” Paul’s voice was extra sugary, so he must be dealing with a lot of customers, and they must be in near proximity. When she came out of the office, the nasty coffee she’d consumed churning in her gut, making her even sicker, she saw there were several customers. Including Howard, the guy who came in to grin and ogle her while he bought fishing equipment.
Thanks for that, karma.
“So, what’s up with you today?” Paul asked when they hit a lull. Then his eyebrows shot up. “Oh no, you messed it up with that guy, didn’t you? I told you to hold back. What did you do? Take him to your place and show him all your kissing statues?”
Brynn shoved him. “Thanks for being so damn sensitive. And no, I didn’t show him my statues. It’s not like I have a ton; there are only a few.”
“Enough for most guys to see them and run for the hills. Not to mention that painting in your living room.”
The urge to punch her brother in the face was back. “It’s a famous work of art. Pardon the hell out of me for being cultured.”
“Oh yeah, what’s that work of art called?” A smirk quirked his lips.
He knew it was The Kiss by Gustav Klimt, a beautiful painting with colors and flowers and a man kissing a woman on the cheek. Just like he knew she’d gotten it for Christmas when she was fifteen. He’d also mocked her endlessly for it then.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said, trying to convince herself as she said it. “That guy was a fill-in. Practice. Dani’s going to set me up with someone who’s more my type, and now I know what not to do.”
What she would be doing was guarding her heart, because putting it out there to get stomped on totally sucked. The chime announced a new customer, only it wasn’t any regular old customer. Carly Johnson came into the store wearing the tiniest shorts known to man and gave Paul a huge grin, displaying every one of her blindingly white teeth.
“Hey, baby.” She threw her arms around Paul and kissed him.
Oh, sure, mock a painting for having a cheek kiss and then swap spit in your place of business.
Not bothering to untwine himself from his new girlfriend, Paul glanced back at Brynn. “Hey, you know how you had yesterday off?”
Warning bells rang out like mad. “You mean how I actually took a whole day off instead of coming in to work for half a day when I’m supposed to have a full day?”
“Carly and I are going to sneak out for lunch,” he said, ignoring her question. “I’ll be back in an hour and a half, two tops.”
Brynn might’ve been able to say no if he hadn’t flashed her a goofy grin. Stupid jerk brother and her desire for him to be happy. “You owe me. And I need you to get that box down first. I could reach it if I have to but—”
“No worries, I got it.” Paul patted Carly on the butt and then headed to the back.
Carly smiled and stared at Brynn for so long that she wondered if the girl was part robot and didn’t need to blink. Finally, Carly rebooted and sprang into motion. “I know I said it the other night, but I’m really glad we have the chance to get to know each other better. I just adore Paul.”
“That’s nice.”
“Yeah, I’ve dated so many losers in my life. Finally, I was like, no more! I put it out to the universe that I wanted a kind man who’d treat me right, and then I met Paul.” She sighed, a dreamlike expression on her face.
Wow. Who put fairy dust in your Cheerios this morning?
A thought hit Brynn. Warning bells went off again—actually this was more like three-alarm-fire level. She shouldn’t ask. Knew it would come back to bite her somehow, because apparently Carly was more in touch with the universe than she was.
“So, you, uh, dated Sawyer Raines in high school, right? He was pretty hot.” She felt like an idiot admitting it aloud, regardless of the fact that it was, indeed, a fact. “Seemed like a nice guy, too, but I didn’t know him very well.”
“Sawyer Raines. Yeah, he was definitely hot.” Carly lifted herself onto the counter, crossing one toned, tan leg over the other. “He was one of my better boyfriends, which is sad since he ignored me half the time. Then he went all weird and wouldn’t answer my calls or talk to me. It was like dating a post. I kind of just blew up that day in the cafeteria, you know?�
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Brynn nodded, though she really didn’t know.
“I shouldn’t have dumped him like that.” Carly’s eyes widened. “Oh, if you’re thinking I’d ever do that to Paul, I wouldn’t.”
“That’s…not why I asked. You know what, never mind.”
“I actually heard he was in town again.”
“I had no idea,” Brynn said. What was one more lie, when you were already drowning in all your others?
…
Sawyer had been staring at the blinking cursor for about an hour. He’d written a few sentences between the three cups of coffee, but he ended up deleting them. He hadn’t risked going to the lake house this morning, justifying that the paint needed time to dry anyway. Even though what it probably needed was a second coat.
He put his fingers on his keyboard and started typing.
As she painted, he watched her side profile, the way her mouth would quirk up at the corner, and how her shirt inched up every time she rolled above her head, showing off a strip of pale skin he wanted to get his hands on… And then the coolest girl he’d ever dated walked out of his life for good.
Well, she hadn’t exactly walked out of his life for good. He’d seen her a few hours later. But that hadn’t gone so great either. Suddenly he was picturing his heroine as Brynn and himself as the hero, and he wanted to add in racy scenes he didn’t normally write.
He deleted the sentences he’d just written—which were more in novel form than screenwriting form anyway, not to mention that they sounded like a sappy romance. He closed his laptop and scrubbed a hand across his face.
Everything had gotten so messed up yesterday. It didn’t help that he had to sneak around backstage, hiding the fact that he needed to talk to Brynn alone. When he finally caught up to her, she’d thrown out that bit about how nice it was that she could go out with another guy. Like he wasn’t aware that she had plenty of options besides him. It was something Zoey would do—try to make him jealous.
This was what he got for attempting to date an actress. One he was directing, no less, which only made everything more entwined and complicated.
I never learn.
That was unfair to Brynn, though. She was different from Zoey in every way. Sweet and funny, always looking at the world through rose-colored lenses. Once in a while he’d even heard her whispering lines under her breath, smiling the same way she would onstage, almost like she couldn’t help but be lost in whatever world she’d escaped to.
She got excited over paint and fancy cabinet handles, for God’s sake. He remembered stumbling across her backstage all those weeks ago, singing at the top of her lungs.
Being around her felt like standing next to the sun. Except now he was in the dark again, and he hated it.
It didn’t help that none of the plot points in his screenplay were coming together like they needed to. Between the pressure to make it live up to the first, and his inability to stop thinking about Brynn, he was completely stuck.
Sawyer shoved his laptop in his bag and stood. He needed to walk around for a bit. Maybe visit a few shops—or all of them—until he found Brynn. There weren’t that many in this town, right?
The comment she’d made yesterday had him picturing her as a Hooters waitress. He didn’t like that thought at all, guys going in to check her out and hit on her. But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little interested in seeing Brynn in that uniform.
She does not work at Hooters. What’s wrong with you, Raines?
He’d see Brynn tonight onstage anyway. Even if she didn’t talk to him. So he decided to stick with his plan of walking and getting air, hoping it’d provide inspiration.
A few minutes into his walk, his phone buzzed. Speak of the devil. Zoey hadn’t tried to call him in a while—probably because he never answered—and he deleted the voice mails unheard. She might not know that, but she obviously knew he wasn’t going to answer. So she texted, the one way he’d be sure to see part of the message simply by glancing at his phone’s display.
I really need to talk. I’m so sorry, and I know I don’t deserve it, but please call me.
Sawyer shook his head. He was starting to wonder if he should change his number.
This was what commitment got you: a psycho ex who wouldn’t leave you alone. They hadn’t spoken since her lies had blown up in her face, and after what she did, she definitely didn’t deserve anything from him.
He pocketed his phone. Maybe it was good that things with Brynn had turned out like this. He’d just finish the house, get the play done, and then he’d move to California and start fresh.
The more he thought about it, the more he decided that was the right decision for him. A new adventure. Focusing solely on his career. Forgetting about all women. For a while, anyway…
But then dark hair caught his eye. She was a few paces ahead of him, walking next to a girl with bronze skin that contrasted with Brynn’s pale tone. And it was definitely Brynn—he could tell by the way she walked, and how she was swinging her arms all around, the way she did when she talked about something she was really in to.
He should probably turn the other way and go back to the coffee shop. But now he was curious. Besides, he was walking here before he saw her. Not like he was stalking her or anything, though he might’ve if she would’ve told him where she worked.
Brynn’s laugh carried back to him, and while he’d been telling himself he didn’t need the drama the female species brought, he wanted to see her eyes light up with that laugh.
He wanted to be the one making her laugh.
While he definitely wasn’t opposed to taking things further than kissing, that wasn’t the only reason he wanted to spend time with her. Even if they only hung out for the next few weeks, it’d be enough. He just wasn’t ready to let her go yet.
He quickened his pace. When he got right behind her, he said, “Fancy meeting you here.”
She spun around so fast he almost barreled right into her. “What are you doing here?” Her eyes darted around as if she’d been caught in the middle of a bank heist.
“I was writing at the coffee shop”—he gestured toward it—“but I was stuck, so I decided to walk for a bit. Clear out my thoughts and try again. Then I saw you, so…” Now he was thinking he should’ve walked the other way. Brynn didn’t look happy to see him. In fact, she looked tired. Pretty, but tired.
He’d had a hard time sleeping last night, so he probably looked about the same. He thought the perfect way to solve that problem was to take her back home and cuddle up with her for a while.
“I’m Dani,” the other girl said when the silence had stretched far past the awkward level. She smiled at him. “Sawyer, I presume.”
“Not that I was talking about you,” Brynn said, sweeping her hair off her face. “I mean, I was, but only because of the play and you’re the director. Not because—”
Sawyer stepped forward and kissed her. She gasped into his mouth, and he put his hands on either side of her face, soaking in the moment in case it was the last time he got to kiss her.
She sagged against him, parting her lips and letting him kiss her deeper. Then she broke the kiss and, running a hand down her hair, she glanced at Dani.
“Well, I’ll let you ladies get back to your day. Brynn, see you tonight.” He walked past her, his heart beating wildly in his chest, and his libido way too fired up to be around so many people.
There. Let the other guy try to top that.
…
Brynn put her fingers over her lips and looked at Dani. “That was…unexpected.” Here she was judging her brother and Carly for kissing in the store, and she’d just done the same thing with Sawyer, only with a lot more people around.
Dani smiled. “It was pretty hot, actually. The boy knows what he wants, and it’s you.”
Happiness and sorrow battled it out for a moment before sorrow won. “But he only wants me for a few weeks.” She couldn’t deny that kiss had taken her breath away. It was one of those
romantic kisses she’d always dreamed of, where the guy didn’t care who was around or what else was going on.
Dani continued down the sidewalk, toward the ice cream shop they’d been headed to before they ran into Sawyer. “You never know what a difference a few weeks makes. I’m not saying he’ll change his mind, but you’ve been talking about him since I came into the shop today, and I can tell you like him. Otherwise you wouldn’t have postponed going out with Connor.”
Brynn had planned on asking about the supposed hottie police officer as soon as Dani showed up, but she’d launched into her frustration over Sawyer first. And now she wasn’t sure if she should go through with it. “I do like him. But he…doesn’t really know who I am.” Brynn confessed it all, from what had happened with him in high school until now, and the mess of lies she’d gotten herself into. “I’m afraid if he found out who I really was, he wouldn’t like me anymore. And what does it matter if he’s just gonna leave?”
Dani pressed her lips together. “You’re going to have to decide how much of yourself to put out there. But I’m not sure it’s such a good idea to pretend to be a different person. As someone who’s pulled off a scheme, I can tell you, it always ends up messy.”
“Yeah, but your scheme got you Wes. Would you really go back and change it?”
Dani glanced down at the diamond on her finger and smiled. “Good point. But as your friend, who likes you the way you are, I think you should be yourself.”
“I’ll be myself,” Brynn said. “Just a better version of myself.” She lowered her voice. “And seriously, I’ve never felt the way I do with him. I actually feel confident and pretty and the chemistry… No one’s ever taken my breath away with a kiss like that. It’d be a shame to give it up, right? Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?”
Dani shrugged. “I guess so. But be careful.”
“I will. Now, what did you need to talk to me about? I’ve totally hijacked this ice cream trip.”
As they got their dessert, Dani explained that Wes had a bunch of groomsmen, and when she only had his sisters and her college roommate, her mother-in-law told her she needed one more to make it even. Dani licked chocolate syrup off her spoon. “I don’t know why evenness matters, but when they asked if there was anyone else I’d want to be in my wedding party, I thought of you…”
Act Like You Love Me (An Accidentally in Love Novel) (Entangled: Bliss) Page 12
