by K. A. Linde
Mrs. Hutchinson started typing on her computer. “That would be broadcast journalism with a focus in sports broadcast. Quite difficult. We have one of the best programs in the country, and students have to apply and be accepted into the journalism school.”
“Oh,” Stacia said, deflating. “I just…it sounded interesting.”
“Now, hold on there,” Mrs. Hutchinson said. A printer started behind her, and she retrieved the papers. “Take a look at these papers. If you’re serious about this—and considering I’ve been advising you for three years and never heard you mention a career option, I would say you are—then look this over.”
Stacia took the papers and started skimming the description of the major, list of classes, and job opportunities. It sounded…hard. But also…interesting. Really interesting.
“Now, you are two requirements behind to be able to apply to the journalism school, but I could squeeze you into the summer classes. Then, you could apply at the end of the summer.”
Stacia clutched the papers to her chest as excitement coursed through her. She could do this. She could really, truly do this. Football could be more than a hobby. More than something she chased men for. It could be a part of her career.
She had never anticipated taking summer classes, but then again, she’d thought she’d be married before graduation. But she was a firm believer in, when life closed one door, another door opened. And she was going to walk through this door.
“Put me in the classes. Will you help me apply?” she asked shyly. As confident as she was with wanting to do this, she was still afraid of rejection.
“Of course. I’m really just so glad to see you putting yourself out there. Let’s look through the course schedule together and decide on the best game plan.”
Stacia smiled up at Mrs. Hutchinson, and they spent the next hour plotting out her entire academic future. So much of it hinged on her getting accepted into the journalism school. And her poor performance in the previous few years could really jeopardize her chance. But she was going to try. Nothing could stand in her way now.
“One down, one to go,” Stacia murmured under her breath as she exited the advising office.
A weight seemed to have lifted off her chest. She still had so much to fix after her decision to come back to school, but she was now signed up for classes for both the summer and the fall. Of course, the fall classes would change if she got into the journalism school.
She couldn’t believe how excited the advisor was about all of this. Was this what it was like to have a normal advising appointment? Was the advisor normally so enthusiastic?
“How’d it go?” Trihn asked when Stacia exited the building. Trihn was dressed in a loose-fitting dress that Stacia was sure she’d designed herself, and her dark hair was pulled up into a long ponytail on top of her head.
Stacia beamed. “Terrific actually. I didn’t know you were going to be here.”
Trihn shrugged. “I don’t leave for New York until tomorrow morning, so I thought I’d come see what you and Bri were up to. She said you have a cheer meeting today?”
“Yeah. Trying to get my spot back,” she said with a frown.
Her good mood was already dissipating. While academics were important, cheer had always been her life. She didn’t know what she would even do without cheer. She shuddered and tried not to think about it. The coach would let her back on. It’d be okay.
She and Trihn walked toward the sports complex together.
“You know, S, it’s going to be so great to have you here for our senior year. I never got to tell you how happy I am that we’ll all be together for one more year.” Trihn smiled brightly.
“I’m happy, too,” Stacia told her. And she was. She had been so set on getting away before that she hadn’t appreciated that she was only going to be in college once. This moment with her friends wouldn’t last forever.
“Good. I’m glad. So, what classes are you taking next semester?”
Stacia chewed on her lip and then bounced from toe to toe. “I’m actually taking summer classes.”
Trihn did a double take. “What? First, you’re coming back to school. Now, you’re taking summer classes? Who are you, and what have you done with Stacia?”
She laughed lightly and shrugged. “Same old me.”
“Uh…no. You’ve definitely changed. Never in a million years did I dream that you’d be back senior year after you and Marshall had started dating seriously. And, now, you’re here, and you seem serious about school. It’s different. A good different.”
“I guess so,” she concluded.
They made it to the sports complex to find Bryna lying down on a bench at the front of the building, sunbathing. Her miniskirt was hiked up to the tops of her thighs, and her crop top revealed a sizable portion of her stomach. Her tiny Valentino sandals had been thoughtlessly kicked off her feet at the end of the bench. Giant Tiffany sunglasses adorned her face, and she had in earbuds.
Typical Bryna.
Trihn just shook her head, and Stacia laughed. Stacia nudged Bryna.
Bryna didn’t jump or anything; she just flipped her sunglasses up and gave them a reproachful look. “About time.”
“What are you wearing?” Stacia asked with a shake of her head.
Bryna tugged the earbuds out of her ears and sat up. “What?”
“What are you wearing?” Trihn repeated for her.
“Clothes.”
“For the cheer meeting?” Stacia asked. “You do know I have to make a good impression, right?”
Bryna looked her up and down. “You will, I suppose.”
Stacia flipped her hair and plastered on a smile. “At least I’m not dressed like that,” she said, pointing at Bryna. “Coach would never have taken me seriously.”
“Well then, it’s a good thing I’m not you,” Bryna said, hopping up. “Now, are you ready?”
Trihn shook her head. “Do you have to be such a bitch?”
“Yes,” Bryna said.
“Well, good luck, S. Tell me more about these summer classes after,” Trihn said.
“Summer classes?” Bryna said incredulously.
“Uh…yeah. I’ll tell you about it later.”
“Yeah, because…summer classes.” Bryna shuddered.
Stacia rolled her eyes and proceeded into the building. Bryna walked unhurriedly behind her.
But Bryna caught Stacia’s arm before she entered the cheer office. “You know I only wore this so that she’d take you more seriously.”
“What?” Stacia asked nervously.
“I mean, you don’t have the best reputation.”
“Look who’s talking.”
Bryna smiled halfheartedly. “I accept my place as queen bitch, but the rumors have died down since E. Your rumors are fresh, and I want Coach to put you back on the team. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”
“She wouldn’t keep me off the team because of rumors…right?”
“I don’t know,” Bryna said with a frown. “Let’s go find out.”
Stacia entered the cheer office with considerably more apprehension than she’d had before talking to Bryna. It was nice of Bryna to warn her and to try to mitigate what was about to happen. But she hadn’t walked into this prepared not to be on the team. That hadn’t seemed like a remote possibility. Now, she was nervous. And, when she was nervous…things usually fell apart.
“Bryna! Stacia!” Mrs. White cried. She was the resident receptionist for all of cheer, and she was wonderful. “It’s so good to see both of you! How is the start of summer holiday treating you?”
“Pretty good, Mrs. W,” Bryna said, sitting down on Mrs. White’s desk.
“Good so far,” Stacia responded. “I have a meeting with Coach Fletcher. Is she ready for me?”
“I think she’s on the phone with our Nike representative, but she should be done soon. Just take a seat, girls, and tell me all the gossip,” Mrs. White said with a grin.
“Stacia broke up with Ma
rshall,” Bryna said at once.
Mrs. White gasped. “With that good-looking young man? Didn’t he just get drafted?”
“He did,” Stacia agreed. She shrugged and plopped into a seat. “No biggie, Mrs. W.”
“That’s right. Lots of fish and all that,” Bryna said.
“From what I hear from you girls, you test out a lot of fish first,” Mrs. White said with a wink.
Bryna and Stacia cracked up just as Coach Fletcher appeared at the door to her office.
Bryna hopped up and grinned. “Coach! How’s it going?”
Coach Fletcher sighed and looked between the girls. “Let me guess. This is about Stacia getting back on the team?”
Stacia stood as well and nodded. “Yeah. I’m going to be here for another year, and it was a little unexpected.”
“Yes, I’ve heard all about it.” Coach Fletcher shook her head. “Come into my office, Stacia. Let’s talk.” Both girls moved forward, but Coach stopped Bryna in her tracks. “You stay out here and entertain Tiffany.”
Then, Coach Fletcher shut the door in Bryna’s face.
“Coach,” Stacia started at once, “I know I didn’t make it to auditions. And I know it would be a huge exception to take me back on the team. But I’ve had three successful years. I’m your best flyer. I’ve put in the work. I’m a team player and a leader. I would have put in to be captain if I’d thought I was coming back next year.”
Coach Fletcher put her hand up to silence her. “I know all of that, Stacia. I do. I really do. I’d love to have you on the team.”
Stacia beamed. “Really?”
“But…I can’t do it.”
Her face fell, and her mouth dropped open. “What? What do you mean?”
“The team is full, Stacia. Auditions are mandatory. I would love to make an exception for you, but it’s against my own rulebook. Plus, we are already completely full.”
“Yeah. But I don’t understand. If I had been at auditions, I would have been put on the team.”
“Without a doubt.”
“Then, why can’t you do it now?” Stacia asked, moving into hysteria.
Coach Fletcher sighed heavily. “I hate to say this, Stacia, but there are consequences to your actions.”
“This is about Marshall?” she gasped.
“No. This is about your plans to drop out of school. The world continues to turn. Just because you’ve changed your mind doesn’t mean we can accommodate you.”
“Jennifer,” Stacia pleaded. She and the coach had been so close over the last few years that calling her by her first name wasn’t even out of place. The fact that these words were even coming out of Coach’s mouth, that she was actually refusing to put Stacia on the team, brought tears to her own eyes. “Cheer is all I have.”
“I’m sorry, Stacia. I really am.” She pulled the door open.
Stacia stormed out of it without looking back.
“What’s going on?” Bryna asked, jumping away from Tiffany to look between Stacia and Coach Fletcher.
“I’m off the team,” Stacia bit out.
“What?” Bryna cried. “Coach?”
“I’m sorry, Bryna.”
“She can have my spot!” Bryna said.
“It’s not transferable, I’m afraid.” Coach said.
“That’s bullshit!” Bryna said.
Stacia didn’t hear what was said after that because she was already out the door and running down the hallway. She breached the building in a panic.
No cheer.
Fuck.
Oh God.
What will I do without cheerleading?
She had been cheering her entire life. It was as much a part of her as her blonde hair and short stature. It had always felt like something that just truly belonged to her. And, now…she was without it.
Bryna burst through the door after her. “I quit!”
“You what?” Stacia asked in disbelief.
“I’m not going to be on the team without you. And she was being completely unreasonable. You should be on the team. It makes no sense. It’s a fucking power trip.”
Stacia shook her head and tried to find her breath. “What the hell am I going to do without cheerleading? Oh my God, my life is over.”
“Okay, hold on, melodrama. It’s not over. I’ll talk to E and get us sideline passes to the games. We can still travel with the team. We’ll figure it out,” Bryna told her, wrapping a comforting arm around her.
Stacia heard her, but she didn’t really hear her. All of that was fine. But the idea of not cheering was suffocating. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. No matter how dramatic that made her. A piece of her identity that she had been desperately trying to cling on to after all the changes in her life had just been chipped away.
Now, she had to figure out who she was when she wasn’t the cheer slut. And she had no idea who that person was.
BY THE TIME STACIA had returned to her now empty apartment, she had calmed down. Bryna and Trihn had both plied her with kind words and promised to be there for her even though they would be on the other side of the world by tomorrow. But she had just told them that she was fine and wanted to be alone.
Maybe losing cheerleading wasn’t the worst thing in the world. It still ate her up on the inside though. It still made her want to scream and cry. But she couldn’t do anything about it. All her meeting had done was get Bryna to quit, too, which sucked. Stacia hadn’t anticipated that.
She’d told Bryna to go back in there and get her position back, but she’d refused. No matter how much of a bitch Bryna could be, she was dead loyal.
Instead of returning to her room and bawling her eyes out, Stacia used her aggression to pack a suitcase or two to go home. She had a couple of weeks before summer term would start, and she planned to spend it with her dad and brother in Los Angeles.
They thought she would be spending the summer there. And she wasn’t looking forward to telling them otherwise.
She dragged both suitcases downstairs and into her Mercedes SUV. Then, she promptly drove the four hours back to her hometown. Well, it was as much home as she could call any place. She’d lived in LA the longest at least. When your dad was a football coach, you moved more than military brats until he’d get high enough in the ranks to have a permanent spot. They’d been in LA since he got the head coaching job at USC when she was going into the eighth grade.
“I’m home,” Stacia called once she had parked her car and entered the house.
“Stacy?” Derek called from the adjacent room.
Stacia cringed at the use of her old first name. She had changed her name to Stacia when she turned eighteen and left Stacy far behind.
He came barreling around the corner and nearly knocked the wind out of her. He hoisted her over one shoulder and ran her into the other room.
“Derek! Oh my God, what are you doing, you little shithead?” Stacia shrieked. “Let me go!”
“If you say so.” He let go of her ankle, and for a split second, she thought he was actually going to drop her and let her face-plant on the floor. Then, he grabbed her leg and hauled her back up, dropping her onto her feet.
“What the fuck, dude?” She smacked him on the arm, and then he wrestled her into a headlock. “It is so not fair that you’re so tall! This used to be more fun when I was bigger than you,” she groaned.
Derek released her and sank back into the leather sofa where he had been playing a video game before. “That was a long time ago. Like, elementary school.”
“What school were we at then?” she asked.
“Who can keep up? Maybe in Tampa? I think it was warm.”
“Are you sure? It could have been Ohio,” she told him.
“Ugh! Ohio. The cold states were the worst.”
“They were,” she said, shuddering.
It reminded her of how close she had come to living in Buffalo full-time. Probably the coldest place in the continental United States.
Stacia smacked the back of his
head as he threw the football on the video game and made him miss. “What the fuck did I tell you about not calling me Stacy anymore?”
“Back the fuck off, Stacy,” he teased. “If you make me mess up my game again, I’ll get out an ad in the LoserVille State newspaper with your real name in it.”
Stacia rolled her eyes. Derek had taken to calling LV State that ever since she decided to go to USC’s biggest rival school. Derek, of course, was the golden boy and would be the starting quarterback at USC this year. Not that she cared. Going to LV State was the best choice she had ever made.
“It’s Stacia now. Stacy was the mousy girl with glasses and braces who was made fun of so bad that her only friends were losers two years younger than her,” she said, swatting at him again.
“Hey, those loser friends got you through high school and are still pretty fucking awesome,” he said.
“Most of them at least,” she said under her breath.
“What’s that?”
“Why did Madison and Woods have to break up anyway?”
“Because long-distance blows. I don’t know why the fuck she decided to go to LoserVille State, like you, instead of USC, like me and Woods.”
“It makes shit awkward,” Stacia said. Like how their group from home was now demolished because they’d broken up. And how, if they’d still been together, Madison wouldn’t have slept with Pace.
“Whatever. It’ll be fine. They’ll figure their shit out. It’s been, like, six months now.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Stacia shrugged, wanting to change the subject. Madison was just about her least favorite person on the planet right now. “Is Dad going to come home tonight?”
Derek noncommittally lifted his shoulders.
“I need to talk to him about some stuff.”
“About your big breakup?” Derek asked with a laugh.
“How do you know about that already?” Stacia demanded.
“News travels quick.” Derek paused his game and pulled out his cell phone. He scrolled for a minute and then passed it to Stacia. “Someone reported on it.”
