by K. A. Linde
“And my bed?”
“In pieces at my place.”
“I hate you all,” she murmured. “Let’s go.”
While Derek and Jordan stayed behind to finish packing up the rest of her apartment, she followed Pace back to his condo on the other side of town. He unlocked the door for her, as he had so many nights before. And, with a profound sense of déjà vu, Stacia stepped into Pace’s condo, but this time, she found boxes of her stuff all over the living room.
Pace retrieved a key for her, and she reluctantly took it from him.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” she said.
“Stop acting like this is the end of the world.”
She raised her eyebrows. She had just been robbed and moved out of her first apartment she’d had to herself, and now, she was moving in with her ex-boyfriend. Maybe not the end of the world but still pretty fucking shitty.
“Fine,” Pace said with a laugh.
He opened the door to his bedroom, and for a change, she saw that it was immaculate. He must have had a maid service come through…or he’d picked up for her.
She swallowed hard as she followed him into the bedroom. Her mind raced ahead of her. Every single part of this room brought back very vivid, very sexual, very…athletic memories. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments, and Stacia flushed all over.
“You can sleep here until we get your bed together.” He took a step toward her, and the air energized. “Or after.”
“Pace,” she warned.
He twirled a lock of her hair around his finger. “Yes?”
“Stop it.”
“It’s just a bed.”
“Don’t make this complicated.”
He shrugged. “It already is. Stop trying to make it uncomplicated.”
“You know this is temporary.”
“We’ll see,” he said.
His hand trailed from her hair to her shoulder and down her arm where he twined their fingers together. She hardly had it in her to pull back when he was acting like this, and they were in his element.
He leaned down toward her tiny frame, and just before reaching her lips, he turned his head and breathed softly into her ear, “Get some sleep, and try not to dream about me.”
Stacia let loose a stilted laugh and brushed past him. “You should be the one trying not to think about me, naked, in your bed.”
“Oh, I think about that all the time.”
“Good night, Pace,” she said, walking to the edge of the bed.
She glanced back at him just once to see how torn he was when he looked at her. Then, when he saw her looking, he exited the room and slammed his bedroom door so hard that it shook. She smiled, feeling victorious in that moment…until she looked back at his bed.
She slipped out of her jeans and bra before tugging her cheer T-shirt back over her head. She didn’t feel comfortable enough to actually sleep in the nude here…not anymore.
Lying back into the soft downy comforter and oversize pillows, Stacia let the bed engulf her like an embrace. When she turned onto her side and pressed her face against the pillows, she breathed in the freshly laundered sheets and the pure masculine scent that was distinctly Pace. She savored the smell she had missed for the past nine months.
She’d never admit it to herself any other time, but she had missed this…and him.
Goddamn him for ruining any chance of them being together.
Derek and Jordan were getting ready to leave the next day. It was a four-hour drive back to Los Angeles, and Derek would start training again in the morning. She hugged them both good-bye and promised to talk with them as much as she could. And, when they finally departed, she realized just how alone she was with Pace in the condo.
A few short months ago, she could have had everything she’d wanted. She would have been engaged to an NFL quarterback and on her way to living a cushy life, just like she had always dreamed. Now, she was back in college, working her ass off in school like she had never done before in her life, and she was living with her ex, someone she absolutely refused to date again. Not exactly the life she had envisioned for herself.
“So…” she began.
“So…” Pace said.
“How exactly does this work?” Stacia sat down on his couch and nudged one of her boxes to the side.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…how can we live together and not drive each other insane?”
Pace took the seat opposite her. “I start practice tomorrow. You have school. We’ll hardly see each other.”
“I don’t think that’s true. I think we need to lay down some ground rules.”
“Rules?” he asked in disbelief. “Rules are meant to be broken.”
“Fine then, think of them more as guidelines and provisions for my sanity.”
“What exactly do you have in mind?”
“We can’t have sex,” she said.
Pace immediately started laughing boisterously.
“What?” she snapped.
“That’s your first provision for your sanity?” he asked, bewildered. “We both know you’re a hundred percent more sane when you’re getting some good dick. Preferably mine.”
“I didn’t say that I wasn’t going to be having sex,” she ground out. “I said, we weren’t going to be having sex. And, while we’re at it, I feel like we should be cool with us dating other people.”
“I don’t want you to date other people,” Pace said so matter-of-fact that Stacia felt like she was in an alternate universe. A world where he still cared for her and wanted a future with her.
She shook her head. They weren’t in a parallel world, and this was not doing any good to the situation. “Pace,” she groaned, “that isn’t helping.”
“Good. I don’t want it to.”
“I just need to know, if I bring someone else back with me, you’ll be cool with it,” she pushed.
“I wouldn’t be fucking cool with it. I’d beat the shit out of anyone who got in the way.”
“You can’t do this!” she shrieked, standing up and glowering down at him.
“Do what?” he asked, unperturbed.
“Be as overprotective as my father!”
“That’s low, Stacia. You know I care about you, and I’m just looking out for you.”
“That’s all the same bullshit I’ve heard before. We’re not together. You cannot control my life, and you’re going to have to get used to that.”
“No.”
“No?” she asked in exasperation.
“I’m not going to get used to it.”
He slowly rose to his feet, towering over her, but she refused to back down. What the hell did I get myself into?
“Fine,” she spat.
“Good. Glad that’s out of the way. Any other guidelines?”
“I mean, fine, I’m moving out!”
“What?”
“My shit isn’t even out of boxes yet. I can find another place and be out of here by tomorrow. Being under my dad’s orders was bad enough. You can’t order me around just because I live here. You are not my keeper.”
“No shit.” He fisted his hands and walked away from her. “Fine.”
“Fine?”
“Have it your way. You can date other people and bring them back here. Though I think it’s a fucking horrible idea. But, if you can, so can I.”
“Of course you can,” Stacia said with a sinking pit in her stomach at the thought. “This is a two-way street.”
“Anything else?”
Stacia sighed when she looked up into his frustrated blue eyes. She softly put her hand on his arm. “I just don’t want this to be awkward. I know I’m coming off rough around all the edges, but if I don’t stand up for myself, then who is going to?”
“I am.”
“Pace…”
“Me, Stacia. I am. Like I always have been.”
She bit her lip and nodded. “All right. But…can we just try not to make this awkward?”
“It won’t be awkward. It’ll be so perfect that you’ll never want to leave,” he promised her.
She swallowed and forced herself to take a step back. Pretty words were a seduction. No more. No less. And those pretty words made her feel like she was falling slowly into a spider’s web, ready to be devoured at any moment.
“SO…YOU’RE LIVING WITH PACE?” Bryna asked two weeks later when her friends had finally gotten back into town.
“Um…yes,” Stacia said.
She lounged back on the chair and sipped from her margarita to try to keep her cool. The girls had only gotten back the night before, and everyone had converged on Eric’s pool to spend time together along with the guys—Eric, Damon, and Drayton. Stacia hadn’t been looking forward to telling them about the Pace situation, but she knew they needed to hear it from her.
“What the fuck?” Maya said, sitting up in her lounger. “How the hell did that happen?”
“Seriously, S,” Trihn said with a shake of her head. “I thought things would be different this time. You’re just QB-jumping again?”
“It’s not like that,” she said immediately.
“Are you sure?” Maya asked.
“Yeah, this seems pretty classic Stacia if you ask me,” Bryna told her. She slid her Tiffany glasses onto her face and tipped her face back into the sun. Her bikini was brand-new from somewhere in Southern France and looked stunning on her bronzed body.
“Well, it isn’t. Classic Stacia has retired,” Stacia said.
“We’ll see about that,” Maya said. “We’re your friends. You don’t have to lie to us. Bryna here was a total gold digger freshman year. It’s fine if your motivations are still to land a quarterback.”
“Especially since Pace is projected to be number one preseason,” Bryna said. “Unfortunate for his ego.”
“You all seriously don’t believe me?” Stacia asked. “I’m not hedging my bets. I’m not hoping to secure a more favorable draft pick. I’m not even trying to be an NFL quarterback’s wife. I just want to graduate.”
All three girls raised their eyebrows. Bryna opened her mouth to say something, but Trihn smacked her leg.
“If Stacia says that’s not what she’s up to, then that’s not what she’s up to,” Trihn ground out.
“It just seems a bit unbelievable,” Maya said. “But maybe we’re wrong.”
“You are,” Stacia insisted.
“All right,” Bryna said with a shrug. “No QB for you. When will you hear about whether or not those summer classes paid off?”
Stacia bit her lip and glanced away. She was supposed to have already heard. She had aced one class and gotten a B-plus in the second. It wasn’t perfect, and with her record, she worried it wasn’t going to be good enough. But her advisor had sworn that her entrance essay was phenomenal. Yet she still hadn’t heard.
“Any day now.”
“Nice. Let us know how that turns out,” Trihn told her.
“Why don’t you tell me about your summers?” Stacia said to divert the conversation. “Must be more interesting than mine.”
“Oh, I have a great story for you,” Bryna said. She hopped off the chair. “Let me show you!”
She sauntered over to Eric and planted a kiss on him before disappearing into their house. It was so strange to realize that Bryna and Eric were living together. Of course, they had practically been living together before, but it seemed like a big step for Bryna, who had always been a bit commitment-phobic, especially after Jude had walked into her life like a tornado, destroying everything in sight.
“Have you heard the story from her?” Trihn asked Maya, who had been backpacking through Europe at the same time as Eric and Bryna.
Stacia knew they had met up in Amsterdam for a brief period of time.
“Oh, I have a ton of stories. Bryna knows how to do Amsterdam right,” Maya said with a laugh. “But not sure which one in particular she’s talking about.”
“How was backpacking alone? I would be terrified,” Stacia said.
“Refreshing, honestly. I can hold my own, and now, I know I’m confident enough to take on the world,” Maya said. “Traveling abroad changes your life, your perspective, and your very nature. Everyone needs to do it sometime.”
“I’ve been to Europe before, but it’s been a while,” Stacia told her.
“And you, Miss High-End Fashion Designer,” Maya asked, “how was the tour life?”
“I’m just glad to be back. Touring is exhausting. I had no time to design anything,” Trihn told them.
“Amid all the crazy, hot sex you were having backstage?” Stacia asked.
Trihn laughed. “Basically.”
“Found it!” Bryna said, practically skipping back out to them.
“Found what?” Trihn asked.
“This little bauble that I got in Paris to go with the story,” Bryna told them.
Then, she thrust her left hand out toward them, and they all stared at the rock sitting on her ring finger.
It was a few seconds before anyone realized what the fuck was happening. Trihn’s mouth dropped open. Maya snatched Bryna’s hand into her own. Stacia’s hand flew to her mouth. And then cries and screams and cheers erupted from them all.
“Oh my God!” Trihn yelled. She tugged Bryna into a hug.
“Congratulations,” Maya told her.
“I’m so happy for you two,” Stacia said. Her eyes flew to the ring in astonishment. It was an enormous double halo that shone like the sun and perfectly fit her extravagant friend.
“How did it happen? Tell us everything,” Trihn said.
Bryna launched into the tale of how Eric had popped the question at the top of the Eiffel Tower. It had been completely unexpected, and she had said yes without hesitation, which she acknowledged she had never thought about before.
“It was just perfect. He’s the one, you know,” Bryna concluded.
Trihn sighed. “Yeah.”
“Definitely,” Maya said.
Stacia stayed silent and looked between her best friends. All of them were so hopelessly in love. So ready to take the jump. So determined that this was their moment to shine. It made Stacia feel…empty.
Is there something wrong with me?
She had never felt like that before. Sure, she had been happy with guys. Like with Pace before Bryna had found out what was going on. They had just been young and stupid. Then, they’d hurt each other too much for anything salvageable. She didn’t think she could ever feel that carefree in a relationship again. So happy and unconcerned with the rest of the world.
She was almost twenty-two, and already, she felt broken.
“Well, it seems like she’s finally told you all,” Eric said, walking over to the pool with Damon and Drayton.
“I did,” Bryna said, snuggling up to him.
“Good. I’m horrible at secrets.”
The girls laughed.
“You did good,” Bryna said. She patted his hand twice and winked. Then, she turned back to the girls. “I want you all to be my bridesmaids!”
More screaming ensued, and they spent the rest of the afternoon discussing everything that would happen, in minute details, the following spring after Bryna and Trihn graduated.
Stacia left Eric’s place feeling delighted for her best friend. But the farther she drove away from the house, the more she felt totally insane. Why am I so sad?
It made no sense. She was unbelievably excited for Bryna and Eric. After everything they had been through, they totally deserved one another.
Yet Stacia was sad. God, she felt like she was going out of her mind.
It wasn’t jealousy. Okay, maybe a hint of jealousy. But not in a negative way. She just wanted to have a normal relationship. And it wasn’t the rational part of her that was feeling the depression sinking into her at the thought. She certainly hadn’t loved Marshall, so it wasn’t like she could be upset that she’d broken up with him.
But it didn’t mean that she didn’t wi
sh she’d found the right person already. Not that everyone found their perfect someone their freshman year of college. And she didn’t need that.
If anything, right now, she needed to focus on herself. She still had yet to find out about the journalism major. Her grades would need a kick in the ass, and she didn’t have cheer. Or her own apartment. Once she figured out her own shit, maybe then she’d be ready for Mr. Perfect. Until then, she needed to calm down before she gave herself an anxiety attack over something ridiculous.
She parked her SUV in front of Pace’s condo and trudged inside. When she entered, Pace was seated with takeout in front of him, watching football.
“Hey,” she said with a head nod in greeting before beelining for her bedroom. It was basically what she had done every day since she had moved in.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked.
She dropped her purse on the side table and entered her room. “Nothing!” she yelled as she closed the door.
She stripped out of her cover-up and launched her flip-flops into the closet. Luckily, the closet was massive since it had once been Bryna’s condo before Pace had taken it over. She tugged on the string to her bikini right when the door opened a crack.
“You sure?” Pace said before stopping in his tracks.
Stacia’s face burned as she latched on to the top string and held her tiny top to her chest. “Knock much?”
He grinned and then nodded. “Sorry.” Then, he backed out of her room.
The door snapped closed behind him, and she just stared at the door.
Sorry? Since when did Pace apologize? And since when did he back out of a room where I’m half-naked?
She shook her head in confusion and then tugged off the rest of her clothes.
After taking a steaming shower, towel-drying her hair so that the normally pin-straight strands had bouncy beach waves, and changing into cheer shorts and a tank top, she strolled back out of her room to get a drink. She fetched a bottled water from the bottom of the refrigerator, and when she straightened and turned around, she found Pace’s eyes on her.
“Were you just staring at my ass?” she accused.
He raised an eyebrow. “Me?”
