by Rachel Lyndhurst; Carmen Falcone; Ros Clarke; Annie Seaton; Christine Bell
The tantalizing aroma of coffee wafted past her nose as he brought the coffeepot to the table and then went to the cupboard and removed the cookie tin Maria kept filled for them. He carefully poured the coffee, and pushed the cream and sugar and a plate of cookies in front of her.
She looked up and her stomach clenched when she saw his lips quivering. She dropped her head as tears filled her eyes and threatened to spill.
“Mia caro…” His voice quavered.
She was not going to make this easy for him, and she lifted her head, holding his gaze, refusing to let the tears fall. Finally, her shoulders sagged and she pointed to the box.
“What is it?”
He smiled and spoke in broken English.
“Your mama, she must have loved you very much. But your father go. It was a…how you say…shame?”
“Disgrace?” She filled in the missing word.
“Si…disgrace. She no tell us…her mama and I. She went away for years and when she come back, we still not know about you.”
“Not until she die…” He wiped his eyes with a shaking finger, and Brianna wished Tom was here with her.
“And I get box from bank in Naples. She send there when she get sick.”
Brianna stopped fighting the tears. Her throat ached too much, and they rolled down her cheeks. It was only a few months now since her mother had died. She’d had thirty years to find her and she’d failed. Smashing her hand down on the table, the cups rattled in their saucers.
“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” She put her head down on the table and buried her face in her arms as the tears came. “You’ve known the whole time I was your granddaughter? I thought you doubted me.” Wrenching sobs overtook her and she struggled for breath. A soft, gnarled hand rubbed her arm as her grandfather reached over and touched her. For the first time in her life someone of her own flesh and blood comforted her, and warmth filled her chest.
“She was good daughter…and she would have love you very much.”
“Yeah, sure,” Brianna said. “I would rather have known her than had this.” She sat up and gestured to the house around them.
“You see.” He patted the box. “I wait outside. You come see me.”
He stood and walked from the house, and moments later the metal gate clanged shut behind him. Then there was only the whisper of the sea caressing the sand below the hill.
Brianna didn’t move. She stared at the box for five minutes as though there were a cobra inside ready to strike the minute she opened it. Her fingers tingled in anticipation, but trepidation took over. She went over to the sink, filled a glass with water, and sat at the table. She reached out and ran her fingers along the edge of the box.
Lifting the lid, she put it aside and waited a moment.
Oh God, I wish Tom were here. It would be so much easier. And then she got cross with herself for wanting him.
A lavender scent drifted across her nostrils and tempted her. She stood and peeked into the large cardboard box. Inside was a smaller box tied with mauve ribbon. She reached in and lifted it out, surprised at its weight.
Her name was written across the top of the lid, and for a moment she thought it was her own handwriting. Shaking her head in confusion, she looked closely and realized that although the writing was very similar to hers, some of the letters were formed with ornate loops, which she didn’t use.
She undid the ribbon and removed the lid. A soft gasp escaped her lips. More than two dozen small packages were neatly labeled with each year from her birth up until one year ago.
She picked up one package at random and three photographs fell out. The top one was a photograph of her graduation, standing with her adoptive parents outside Edinburgh University.
She remembered the day well. Jennifer and Jim had seemed so proud that day and had insisted on a photograph, asking a passerby to snap them before they went to a hotel in the Lawnmarket for a celebratory lunch. She turned the photo over and recognized Jennifer’s handwriting.
Brianna, Jim, and Jennifer. Graduation, 2002.
Photograph after photograph chronicled her life. All the milestones, each birthday and Christmas, and many random shots of her playing the fool. She smiled as the memories came flooding back. Each photograph captured the essence of her and the happiness of her family life.
Bloody hell.
She didn’t know whether to be ecstatic or devastated that her mother had known her. Why in the hell hadn’t she contacted her, especially when Brianna had tried so hard to find her?
Angrily picking up the photographs, she went to throw them back in the box and give them back to her nonno. She knew enough now. Her mother had known all about her, she’d left her a villa, but didn’t care enough about her to even contact her. At the bottom of the box was an envelope with “Brianna” written across the front in the same stylish handwriting. The lavender paper was delicate, and the folds were creased as though it had been read and refolded many times. She reached for it and unfolded it with shaking fingers, and started to read before she could think.
Chapter Fourteen
Tom bowed his head and kept his arm firmly around Alex’s back as the pallbearers brought Emily’s coffin down the wide aisle of the church. The last time he’d stood at his brother’s side it had been the joyous occasion of Nick’s wedding.
Now, he looked across and caught Nick’s eye, and a silent message of support passed between them. They linked hands behind Alex as their younger brother’s shoulders shook and the grief of his fiancée’s death overwhelmed him. The music swelled as Emily’s father and brothers brought the coffin down the middle aisle of the church toward the vestibule and the waiting hearse.
Tom swallowed his grief and focused his thoughts on Brianna. If this had happened to him, he was sure he wouldn’t survive it. The depths of his feelings for her hit him like a punch in his chest. He loved her, and by God, he was not going to let her go. He had to get back to Lipari Island and convince her that they had something special. It shouldn’t be treated flippantly and discarded.
The situation and the grief had firmed his resolve. Brianna was his wife and they were right for each other. Her joy of life brought out the best in him, and he knew he was good for her. They laughed constantly and all their time together, even from those first few hours on the plane, had been special. For the first time in his life, he loved a woman…unconditionally. He was confident he could convince her to marry him, for real this time.
“Come on, mate.” He leaned over to his younger brother. “Time to go outside.”
The three brothers followed Emily’s mother and sister to the door and stood quietly in the little churchyard as the coffin slid into the back of a hearse.
Tom stood alone at the window of his parents’ large living room and the noise of muted conversations washed over him. Tessa had offered the use of their home for the wake and he knew Emily’s family appreciated the gesture.
“Tom?”
Warm fingers squeezed his arm and he turned to see Lissy standing next to him.
“We are all pleased you were able to get home in time for the funeral,” she said. “You’ll be tired after the flight and today, well, today has been so very hard for everybody.”
“Of course I came. We all had to be here for Alex.”
Although she smiled, her eyes filled with tears. “It really brings the uncertainty of life home with a vengeance when someone is taken so young.”
Tom hugged Lissy and held her close for a moment. “Where’s Nick?”
“He’s out with Alex saying good-bye to Emily’s parents.” She stepped back and patted her swelling abdomen. “He wanted me to stay inside. He wraps me in cotton wool.”
“I haven’t offered my congratulations. I’m very happy for both of you.”
“We weren’t going to share the news till we were all together at Christmas, but well…everyone can see it for themselves now.” She looked up at Tom, her eyes wide, and shook her head. “And you…look at
you. You look amazing, so healthy and relaxed.”
He laughed grimly. “Come on, Lissy, be honest. I’m not such a stuffed shirt anymore.”
“No, I didn’t mean that. It’s just the hair and the tan and the earring. Well…we—” She stumbled over her words. “Let’s say we nearly didn’t recognize you at the airport. You look so different. Out of the three brothers, I never thought you’d turn into the bad boy.” She reached up and her hand was warm against his neck as she flicked his earring. “But the main thing is, despite our grief today, you look happy. Tell me about Brianna.”
Tom thought about the best way to describe her.
“Brianna is full of life. She sees the good in every situation and she makes me laugh. It’s been a tough few months for her in some ways—she’s tried to find out about her mother, but there seems to be a real secret there—but she’s a real Pollyanna.” He touched the black curls tumbling past his collar. “She makes me laugh at myself and I’ve done things I would never have thought of doing before. I’ve loved every moment of it.”
Lissy laughed. “Too much information.”
“Oh, God no.” He hurried to correct himself. “I’ve done physical things…fun things.”
“You’re getting me more intrigued by the minute.” She smiled at him and turned to Tessa, who had walked over to join them.
“Tessa,” she said. “Your son is filling me on the details of his sex life.”
Tessa raised an eyebrow at her son and he hurried to correct Lissy.
“No…I meant I’ve done a lot more Nick sort of things. I’ve ridden a Jet Ski and we’re going to climb Mount Stromboli. It’s a volcano.”
“And I think you have finally fallen in love with life,” Tessa said. “It is so sad that we get to see your happiness when tragedy strikes.”
Tom reached out for his mother and they stood in a close embrace for a few minutes before he pulled away.
“Can I get you a drink, Lissy?”
“A cup of tea, please.”
Nick and Alex walked in together as he was pouring Lissy’s tea. He looked across at his younger brother and his stomach clenched. He felt so bloody helpless—there was nothing they could do to help, except deliver meaningless platitudes. Nick and Alex crossed the room and joined him. Nick poured a coffee and gave it to Alex, who looked at his as if he didn’t know what to do with it.
“This is for Lissy.” Tom handed the tea to Nick. It was time to give Nick a break—it would have been tough supporting Alex at the cemetery. He took Alex’s arm and led him over to the window, searching for words, any words. But he came up with nothing.
“Don’t worry, it’s all been said,” Alex said as if understanding his brother’s search for comforting words. He put the cup on the windowsill and coffee slopped all over the white glossy paint. “Don’t try. It means nothing. Nothing will bring her back.”
He stared out over the lawn and it seemed to give him comfort to speak.
“Did Nick tell you we were moving?”
Tom shook his head.
“Straight after the wedding. Only three months to go.” Alex’s voice shook and Tom’s stomach gripped with an aching hollowness. He could not comprehend what Alex was going through. He and Emily had been together since high school.
Tom closed his eyes for a moment. At Nick and Lissy’s wedding he had danced with Emily, and she had brushed her lips across his cheek and told him she was sure he would find his love in Italy. Now she would never know she’d been right.
“I got a transfer with the law firm. A big environmental job up in Brisbane.” Alex’s eyes filled with tears, and Tom put his arm around his brother as his voice broke.
“We’ve already bought a house up there and now she’s gone. Bloody stoned truck driver. I could kill the bastard with my bare hands.”
He let Alex vent his grief and held him close. Alex’s shoulders shuddered as he drew in deep, ragged breaths.
“He’s been charged. He was high on fucking uppers and went straight through the intersection. He didn’t even see her coming.”
Tom turned to Nick and inclined his head. Lissy came straight over with a box of tissues, and Tom led Alex out to the veranda as grief consumed him.
He sat next to him, dry-eyed, staring out over the lawn, focusing on all the good times they’d had in this garden when they were growing up. Life ebbed and flowed at the hands of fate. He firmed his resolve. He was not going to give up on Brianna.
Nick came out with a bottle of whiskey and three glasses and crouched in front of Alex.
“It’s not a permanent solution, mate, but I think a little inebriation may go a long way tonight.”
He raised his eyebrows at Tom and filled three large glasses with whiskey when Tom nodded his agreement. Alex picked up the crystal tumbler and held it to the late afternoon sun. A shaft of light hit the crystal and fractured into a rainbow of colors on the wall beside them.
“To my Em.” He choked and drained the glass in one swallow and sat back and closed his eyes. He held his empty glass out to Nick for a refill.
Many drinks later the bottle sat empty on the table beside Tom and Nick. Alex had collapsed an hour ago and they’d carried him to his room, assisted by their father. Tessa had fussed around, removed his shoes, and tucked him in like a young child. She sat on a chair next to the bed, holding Alex’s hand between her own as the tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked at her other two sons and smiled sadly, motioning for them to leave.
“I’ll sit with Alex for a while,” she whispered.
Tom’s eyes pricked and a lump formed in his throat.
Tom and Nick returned to the veranda and Lissy was sitting waiting for them with a pizza box. Nick sat down and pulled her onto his lap and buried his face in her red gold curls.
“I don’t think I could eat anything,” Tom said. “Another drink will do.”
“Eat,” Lissy instructed.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Tom was grateful that Lissy had forced them to eat the night before, even though the pizza gave him indigestion. He woke up with a dry mouth and his breath smelled of whiskey, but he didn’t have too bad a headache, which was just as well as he had a big day ahead of him. He glanced across at the clock and did the time conversion in his head, and reached for his cell phone to call Brianna and tell her he was on his way home.
Home.
He smiled.
What was the old saying? Home is where the heart is.
The call went straight to her message service and he shook his head. She’d let the battery run down again. He had more than her organizational skills to work on.
He had a quick shower, pulled on some fresh clothes, and headed downstairs. Nick and Tessa were sitting at the kitchen table chatting quietly. He made himself a quick cup of tea and sat down with them.
“Alex?” he asked.
“Still asleep,” Tessa said.
“He’ll have a very sore head when he wakes up,” Nick said. “What are your plans today? I thought we might take him out somewhere.”
Tessa placed her hand on Nick’s arm and looked across at Tom. “I think it would be better if we left him alone today and didn’t organize anything for him. Just be here if he wants us. He needs to find his own comfort.”
Tom looked across at his mother and brother. “I’m going back to Lipari tonight.”
Nick appeared startled but Tessa smiled at him with a knowing look on her face.
“You can’t stay here for more than two days?” Nick asked.
“No, I have something important to do.”
Chapter Fifteen
Brianna looked at the missed calls displayed on the screen of her cell phone and closed her eyes. Tom had tried to call every hour for the past twelve hours before he’d given up. At least he’ll think I’ve let the phone die, she thought, and that gave her a small measure of comfort. The nagging feeling that she’d made a big mistake tugged at her thoughts and she tried to block it. She focused on the bumpin
g of the train wheels as they clattered rhythmically on the track. It had been cruel to leave before he came back. He’d been so upset when he left and she’d had a glimpse of the love he had for his family. But she had no choice.
Let him go. Let him go. Let him go.
Staring out the window, she looked at the mist still lingering in the valleys despite the lateness of the morning. Summer in Scotland was nothing like Lipari Island. Shivering, she pulled her wool coat around her shoulders and tucked her scarf around her bare neck. She glanced down at her hands and smiled, thinking how out of place her tanned skin looked.
She’d left the island three days ago. The ferry to Naples, three flights, and now the final leg of her journey by train, and she was almost home. Not home to her flat in Edinburgh, but home to her parents in Aviemore, where she’d grown up, in the snow-covered highlands of Scotland.
Ready to confront Jennifer—she couldn’t think of her as Mum any more, not after the discovery she’d made in Lipari. She was trying to figure out what to say, what to ask to understand the enormity of what Jennifer and her mother, Rosa, had done. Her nonno had held her and she’d sobbed in his arms after reading the letter her mother had written before she died, and now she was going to confront Jennifer with the secret she had kept for over thirty years. No wonder she hadn’t ever felt love from her adopted mother. In a way she felt sorry for Jennifer. It must have been hard for her, sharing her adopted daughter with her birth mother and having to keep it a secret.
The train pulled into Kingussie station and she gathered her bags. Aviemore was next.
An hour later she pushed open the gate to her parents’ retirement cottage and was pleased to see clothes flapping in the breeze. She’d been so determined to confront them, she hadn’t even given thought to them being away on one of their regular trips.
Her cell phone rang when she was pushing open the front door. She pulled it from her pocket and sighed as she glanced down at the caller ID. She hit the off button and let Tom’s call go to message with a sigh, knowing she would have to talk to him sooner or later, but first she had to get her head around this mess.
