by Hazel Parker
“Don’t on account of me,” Burke said.
I couldn’t tell if he was saying it as a sort of weird taunt, like he knew I was uncomfortable but curious, or if he was genuinely interested in me. I deferred to the safer option and made my way to my room. I shut the door, locked it, and took a deep breath.
My heart was racing at what felt like a thousand miles an hour. Holy fuck. Sure, a DOM had a way of getting to the point, but I didn’t think it would happen like this!
And on top of all of this, I was so attracted to him.
I let the towel drop to the floor. Though I was in the privacy of my own room, I felt like I had just exposed my naked body to the whole world. The pulsing and throbbing became unbearable. I felt like I could climax just from the tension and eroticism of Burke walking in on me with my towel on. I know this was a bit much but I couldn’t handle going down there right now without a release.
My hand slid down there as my other hand squeezed my breast. Pleasure rushed over me as I thought about it not being my hand there, but Burke’s. I thought about those large fingers, those calloused hands, gripping me and controlling me. I thought about his face making its way down my neck, down my chest, down my stomach, down to my pussy.
I couldn’t fucking take it. The only thing more embarrassing than Burke walking in on me in a towel would be Burke walking in on me masturbating. I went to the bed, flopped on it, grabbed a pillow, and held it over my face as my free hand rubbed one out.
Being on the bed gave me the sensation of Burke’s muscular body being on top of me. He would take control of me and have me as he wanted. Whatever his wish was, it was my command. I would get pleasure from it, sure, but much of it would come merely from having him have his way.
The tension rose in me. My legs started to tremble. The pleasure was so intense, and my mind was lasering in on the sensation. I almost hoped Burke would come in, see the opportunity, and just take me.
Why not? We hadn’t signed anything. Oh, fuck!
Reality and fantasy started to blur together. What had started as just the general idea of Burke taking me molded with the idea of him slamming the door open, admiring my body, taking his clothes off…it felt so realistic. I didn’t dare remove the pillow to see if it was. Of course I would know if it got real, but right now, damnit, my mind made it feel real enough.
I arched my hips harder and harder as I started to get to that point where I didn’t need to go that much further. I would have grabbed lube if it was near me, but I didn’t dare leave the bed and lose the tension forming down there. This was too good, too pleasurable, too…
Too…
I was at the point of no return. Nothing was going to stop the orgasm. The only question was how hard it would crash into me.
I bit into the pillow over my face, trying like hell to stifle any noise. I could practically hear Burke’s footsteps coming to the door. I could imagine him opening it slowly, seductively…and then taking me. I could…
Oh…
Oh…
Fuck!
With a crash, the orgasm washed over me. I clenched down into the pillow, my entire body feeling like it was constricting on itself. It was nothing short of majestic and fucking incredible. I hadn’t orgasmed like this from a masturbation session in fucking forever.
I sure as hell hadn’t fantasized about a man like I had Burke now probably ever.
Slowly, I started to come down. Slowly, that sharp tension faded into a general warmth that spread throughout my limbs and my bodies. Slowly, I closed my eyes and opened my mouth, having nearly torn apart the fabric of the pillow with my teeth.
And then I realized what the fuck I’d done.
The man I wanted to be my baby’s daddy had come into my place unannounced, past all the security of this building, knocking on my door, had come in while I was wearing a towel, made himself at home on my couch…and I had fucking gone into my room to masturbate!
If that didn’t say that Burke had me on a string, then absolutely nothing fucking did.
Holy hell.
I had to get a hold of myself.
But…fuck, did I really want to? Maybe it was good to lose myself in this feeling. Maybe there was something to be said for just pretending I was eighteen all over again, so seductively overwhelmed by it all that—
“You picking out your outfit, or did you fall asleep?”
I jolted up. The door remained closed. Burke’s voice came from the living room. He…he probably heard me.
I knew he hadn’t seen anything.
But he surely “knew.” Even if he hadn’t heard me moaning into a pillow …why else would I be taking so long? How embarrassing.
I’d just have to accept, when I walked out with clothes on, that Burke had likely just heard me masturbating to the thought of him dominating me.
Holy fuck.
Could this situation get any fucking weirder? Could things feel any more awkward, any stranger? I wanted to say the answer was no, but the only reason I didn’t actually do that was because I knew better than to dare fate in that regard.
“Sorry, one second,” I said, hoping my voice didn’t sound too tinged or tainted.
I hurried to throw on some clean clothes, winding up only throwing on some old jeans I needed to get rid of and a t-shirt of the school I’d attended, the University of Miami. My hair was still flopping wet when I emerged from my room, fortunately, as best as I could tell, I’d taken care of any other, ahem, wetness.
I hoped that when I emerged from my masturbatory cocoon, I’d feel less sexually charged. I wouldn’t have lost my attraction to Burke, but I hoped that, at the very least, I could sit across from him without wanting to jump his bones on the couch right there.
Unfortunately, that did not seem to be the case. His posture on the couch—appearing relaxed, leaning backward, but still with alert eyes—had me turned on. I looked at his hands and found myself right back in that fantasy where I could envision him in the bedroom, being the one to touch my pussy instead of me. I…
I cleared my throat.
“Sorry about the wait,” I said with a faint smile.
“No worries,” he said, “I know getting dressed involves some effort...”
Oh, my, fucking, God. This is the worst. The worst!
But Burke said nothing more, merely smirking at me. I wanted to die. Or I wanted to jump his bones.
How about both? Could I die getting laid by this handsome man? That would be a pretty fucking good way to go, right?
“Well, now that I’m all dressed and set,” I said, “what do you have to say?”
Chapter 6: Burke
It was unbelievably fucking arousing what had just happened.
I’d hinted at hearing Emily, but in truth, I’d heard a lot more. And the funniest part was, I never even left the couch. Emily was just much louder than she thought she was. Not that I was going to say anything to her.
Well, anything more than what I had already had.
The only reason I didn’t jump into the room was because, well, that would be crossing a line, or at best dangerously playing with one. But I kept waiting for that moment when Emily would just say, “Burke, I want you.” It would be all I’d need to walk into that room, turn that girl around, spank her, and then fuck her.
Oh, shit, that was a good thought.
Alas, I had come here to discuss business. I had to be good and professional. And right now, that meant putting aside the last five minutes and pretending like I’d just walked into her apartment with her fully clothed, not almost naked.
“I’ve thought about your proposition since we last met,” I said, “and I’ve decided that I will accept your, well, ‘job.’”
I raised a hand even as I saw Emily’s eyes light up. Not yet.
“However, I need some more information from you about what this will entail.”
“Of course, anything,” she said.
I could have asked her to raise the price to ten million and she probabl
y would have done it. I didn’t need more money, but that was just another way I could assert myself over her.
“How long do you need me in town?” I said. “I still have some ongoing work elsewhere and may need to flee at any moment.”
“Sure, understandable.”
You would never understand. Actually, you’d never even get the chance to because I wouldn’t tell you a thing.
“The whole process takes about four weeks. I’d need you to give your sperm, and that would be it.”
Four weeks was a long-ass time to make a commitment. But it also gave me plenty of time to mull things over in case I decided at the last second to change my mind. I hoped that she wouldn’t need me here for all four weeks, and if it came to it, the other job—a continuation of my work near Portugal—would take priority on the spot.
But hey, all things considered, it was better than four decades of marriage or forty years of being a dad somewhere. Even if those I might want…
“OK, and how are we going to do that?” I said. “I assume just head down to the sperm bank?”
“Well, sort of, I’ve got everything set up with my doctor and her clinic, so you’ll just go there and leave a sample. That’s all you have to do.”
It may have been all I had to do. But it wasn’t all that I’d be involved in. And that, more than anything, demanded that I ask more questions and get more answers.
“I need more details, Emily,” I said. “I’m not just jumping into something that could fuck me over if I don’t know all the details.”
“Sure, sorry, I just wasn’t expecting you,” she said. She looked flustered at my words. I honestly didn’t think she was trying to fuck me over, but I learned very quickly an unnecessary question might waste time, but an unnecessary assumption might waste lives. “I will get injections based on particular timing, and it doesn’t always work on the first try. There’s a whole messy biology process with the releasing of eggs…bottom line is that for me, it’s a bit of an arduous process, and the timing needs to be pretty on point. And I’m willing to do it as many times as I can get. But you’ll just do it once and be done.”
It all sounded nice.
Do it once and be done.
I couldn’t pretend that this conversation had made things feel normal. If anything, they’d made them even more bizarre and confusing. I did like the idea of my bloodline continuing, even though I didn’t plan on being a father or having a family. That realization, that I wanted my heritage passed down, was what kept me going into this deal.
But…
Well, shit, I guess you could say I wasn’t quite as hell-bent on being distant and removed as I thought. I sure as hell wasn’t going to say this out loud, and I was barely acknowledging it to myself as it was, but there was a part of me that maybe wanted something more. Maybe I…
Fuck. I had some shit to figure out. Better figure it out before you sign a contract or DOM calls you back in to deal with Snake.
“All right. But I’ve got some conditions of my own.”
“Sure.”
Poor Emily. Every time I said something that suggested I wasn’t going to just blindly accept her wishes on the spot, she seemed to turtle up and show some sort of fear. I was beginning to actually feel sorry for her—she really wanted a child. It made me wonder why the hell that hadn’t happened yet. Recent development? History of bad relationships? Lack of current suitors?
Certainly, Sean would have been a factor, but still, he’d only come into the picture, what, five, six years before? She’d had all her twenties and early thirties to make something happen.
“If I choose to meet the child at some point, I want you to let me do so.”
I only wanted the option. This was no guarantee that I would at some point.
“Also, I want to be listed on the child’s birth certificate as the father, but of course I’ll agree to withdraw parental rights.”
“So…”
“So I won’t be the father, but I want the option to meet the kid or if the kid wants to meet me one day it can.”
It sounded easy enough in my head. That it confused Emily wasn’t exactly encouraging, but, hey, a contract was a contract, it would be up to lawyers to interpret it if things got messy and hairy.
“OK…”
“And once the child is born and is healthy, you have to agree that there will be no more children born from my sample. I don’t want my sperm frozen and have two dozen little Burkes running around this city.”
“Oh, that’s easy. I only want one child as well.”
Finally, we agree on something without hesitation.
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, I suppose so,” I said.
This felt like it was supposed to be harder than that. For how Emily was last night, I had fully anticipated that she’d want a fucking football team of kids. But for her to agree so easily…it almost felt cheap.
Life never was this easy. There were always complications along the way. But shit, four weeks of just being around, plus one jack-off session, and I’d get five million and a collector’s car? What wasn’t to like?
“OK, good,” she said, almost sounding relieved that the supposed interrogation of sorts was over. “I’ll get my lawyer to draft papers regarding the exact wording of the parental agreement. You, of course, will get the chance to review and make any changes you want, and then…we’ll go from there.”
“Good,” I said, standing up.
Emily raised an eyebrow at me.
“Not even going to stay for breakfast?”
“I’m not a big breakfast guy.”
“Suit yourself,” Emily said. “Thank you, Burke. It’s really appreciated.”
She came over and hugged me. I didn’t expect that. I really didn’t like unexpected touch.
But…
It felt good. Her body felt good, and pressing up against it felt amazing. A part of me yearned to keep this feeling as long as I could, to hold on to it.
But before I let myself get too sappy and too corny, I pulled back.
“Text me whenever the appointment is set up,” I said, leaving without another word.
What had my life come to that I was now jacking off for women to have my genetic offspring? What did it say that I had agreed to it?
And moreover, what did it say that I was kind of oddly excited about having a mini-me in the world?
I normally wasn’t a reflective guy, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about all of this. But it was undeniable that by the time I exited the building, leaving without anyone at the front desk the wiser, I was feeling more hopeful than I was concerned.
Chapter 7: Emily
Holy shit.
Holy shit!
Holy shit!!!!!!
I was beside myself, giggling and laughing. Finally! Finally, I would have a child! And it would come from a man who I knew and my child could know one day.
In an ideal world I would have preferred to have conceived the old-fashioned way.
But you know what? I was finally getting the chance to have a child. I wasn’t about to argue with the circumstances of it. I was just going to accept it and embrace it for the fact that it had come at all!
I didn’t even know what to do with myself. It was not even noon on this Saturday, and it already felt like my entire weekend had just been made. I could do no wrong and had no fear about the future. Sure, being a single mom would have its challenges, and I’d have moments wishing for a more traditional family. But…
It was agreed to. Everything else was just a formality. A voice in my head said, “Nothing is finalized until pen is put to paper,” but I ignored that voice. My bliss was far too great for me to be concerned with anything else right now.
I texted my doctor with trembling hands, “He agreed! We’ll be in touch soon!” I hit send and then found myself writing even more. “Perfect timing with my ovulation cycle! We should be able to start right away!” Again, I hit send.
And again, once more, I foun
d myself unable to stop writing.
“So excited!!!!”
I made myself put the phone down before the doctor would get annoyed at how much I was blowing up her phone. As good as Dr. Needham was, she probably had better things to do than to calm down patients who were as crazy and mad for a baby as I was.
But that did nothing to diminish how good I felt about everything. No, it wasn’t perfect, but it was far better than having no child. I found myself unable to contain my cheer and excitement; I had to tell someone!
And who better to tell than my best friend, the woman who had only just started her journey with her family and her new man? No one, that was for sure. Definitely not my mother—I think the idea of me using science to inseminate me and not have the father around would cause her to drop dead on the spot.
I grabbed my phone, dialed Kelly’s number, and waited for her to pick up. My hands were literally shaking as the phone rang.
“Hello?” Kelly said, sounding like she had just woken up.
“Girl, girl, girl. Are you—”
“Slow down, it’s early here.”
“It’s not that early,” I said, glancing at the clock.
“It is when you have two kids.”
“Well, I’ve got some news that might wake you up anyway,” I said. “You know how you gave me Burke’s number to thank him?”
“Believe me, Liam got a lot out for me for that. How could I forget.”
There was a hint of sarcastic “what a shame” in her voice, as if she didn’t mind the “punishment” that had come. I didn’t want to know, but it briefly made me think of what had happened in the last hour—what could have happened in the last hour.
Then again, I had been the one to try and push her boundaries at the pool on her visit, so I suppose I deserved some of the grief back.
“Well, you’ll never believe what I hired him to do. Can you keep a secret if I tell you?”
“Do I…please will you just tell me?”
I laughed. I had a feeling Kelly already knew, for I hadn’t exactly stayed quiet about my desire to have a child. I think she just didn’t want to jump that far ahead. If the reverse had happened, I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to jump to that conclusion right off the bat.
