My heart sank and a tear fell from my eyes.
“Goodbye, Mary Poppins,” I whispered, as the beach faded to grey in the distance, taking the last light of the day with it.
It wasn’t supposed to end like this…
26
They called off the search about eight hours later. They’d covered every inch of water in the cove as well as out on the points probably a dozen times. My mother and Noa had left town shortly after. But, before they left, Noa had stood at the edge of the water and released Shea’s mother’s ashes to join her daughter. That girl was out of control, the locals said, shaking their heads back and fourth as they watched the spectacle. I found the whole horrible situation absolutely heartbreaking as I listened to Zeke fill us in when he’d arrived at the hospital with my bag of clothes in hand, and an expression of absolute sadness on his face. I’d never seen him looking so lost, and my heart went out to him. He felt responsible for her loss, as did I – she’d gone out there immediately after we’d rejected her. And even though she was out of control, and mostly reacting to her break up with Noa, we felt as though we were the hands that pushed her over the edge, and while we cried together, we struggled to meet each other’s eyes.
Guilt was funny like that. You could live with it, but it was almost blinding to look at directly.
When Zeke left, I rummaged through my bag and found some dry clothes in the centre of everything and went into the bathroom attached to Luke’s hospital room to get changed.
I splashed water on my face and dried my hair via the hand dryer. Then I stared at myself in the mirror, my blue eyes wide and haunted, my skin paler than normal with dark circles under my eyes. A tear streaked down my cheek and I wiped it away, splashing water on my face again as I blew out my breath and tried to get a handle on my emotions. Everything was such a mess, more so than it had ever been. I was riddled with guilt, and anger and disappointment. I felt awful for being so happy that Luke had made it when Shea was still gone, and I felt even worse for being relieved when Zeke left because he was hurting too.
A soft knock rapped against the bathroom door before it cracked open just a touch. “Are you OK in there?” Luke asked.
“I’m decent, you can come in,” I said, turning around so I was leaning against the small vanity that held the washbasin.
“I’m sorry about your friend,” he offered, releasing the door so it clicked shut behind him.
Another tear streaked out of my eye and I swiped it away. “I don’t want to cry anymore,” I whispered, frowning when the tears just kept falling.
“Why?” He moved so he was standing in front of me.
I shook my head and swallowed hard. “Because I’m angry at her. She did it on purpose.”
“I know,” he whispered, reaching out and running his hands lightly down my hair until he was cupping either side of my face. “But you can’t blame yourself. You’ll go crazy blaming yourself. Believe me, I know what that’s like.”
“I’m so sorry for putting you through this, Luke.” I felt as though I was forcing him to relive losing his wife. “I’m just…I’m so, so sorry. You almost died and…and…I’m sorry.” Tears were pouring down my cheeks, wetting his hands as he tried to wipe them away for me.
“Dawn,” he said, his voice calm and soft as he waited for me to calm down and meet his eyes. “I love you too.”
“You. What?” That was the last thing I expected him to say in that moment.
“I heard you say it to me on the beach, and I want you know that I love you, and that it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, because it’s love that’s going to get you through this. Together, we’ll be OK.”
His mouth closed on mine, and I quickly relaxed into it and released a contented sigh as his mouth moved against mine in a soft but possessive way that had my head spinning and my heart soaring. Tears continued to pour from my eyes as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him against me, kissing him deeply, knowing finally that this was definitely how it was supposed to feel. Every nerve ending in my body was alive and singing, and although I was feeling a wreck after recent events, his arms around my body and his lips moving with mine felt right. They felt like home, and I knew that this was it, this was what I’d been looking for. Despite the age difference and every other difference that could so easily create a chasm, Luke and I somehow fit together. And in a moment of great grief, he was the light that pushed away the darkness and filled my heart with hope.
“Oh Luke,” I whispered, as I rested my head against his hard chest, listening to the firm thudding of his heart against his ribcage. I fought the urge to cry again as I remembered the feint sound his heart had produced when he’d washed up on the beach and I’d thought I lost him. “You should rest.”
He kissed me briefly then let out his breath before he took my hand. “So should you.” Then, leading me to the bed, he made enough room so I could fit against his body in the narrow space. “You never told me what you thought of The Shining,” he said after a few moments, his voice sounding heavy with the need for sleep.
Smiling, I took a hold of his hand and pulled his arm tighter around me. “I liked it a lot,” I whispered.
“What was your favourite part?”
“The part where he breaks through the door.”
“Hmm. That was mine too.”
Then he hugged me even closer, making me feel safer than I’d ever felt before. There we stayed sleeping in each other’s arms until the sun came up and a new day was born, and I was reminded of something Luke once said to me.
No matter what happened the day before, the world keeps turning, and the sun keeps rising. Over and over again.
For the first time in what felt like forever, I felt hopeful. I felt as though everything was going to be OK.
27
Three weeks later…
With a groan, I rolled over and switched off the 5am alarm on my newly acquired phone. I’d been forced to join the 21st century when I started work at The Palms and needed to be contactable. So far, I hated the thing. But, I had to admit I found it handy in my burgeoning relationship with Luke. It meant that we could talk or text whenever we were apart, and I loved talking to him just before bed each night. So maybe I liked having my own phone – just a little bit – not that I’d ever openly admit it to anyone.
Getting out of bed, I went to the bathroom then pulled on my swimsuit then my wetsuit and grabbed my board from where it lived beside the door. With the board tucked under my arm, I quietly left the room I’d been renting at The Palms in my bare feet. I found it funny that I now did something I’d always found so ridiculous about the residents of Hargrave Cove, but my need to wear shoes in this tiny beach town had disappeared somewhere along with my need to escape it. After eighteen years of living here, I was actually beginning to look at this place as my home.
“Hey gorgeous.” Luke was waiting for me beside his car outside. He had his wetsuit on, but it was only pulled up to his waist and his t-shirt was on. I think he’d figured out how much I loved watching him pull his shirt off and pull the wetsuit over his muscular chest, so he saved that part for me to watch every morning.
“Hey you.” I pressed a kiss to his lips just as the shirt came off and placed my hands against his warm chest and let out a contented sigh. This moment was definitely one of the reasons I wanted to stick around. I was in love with Luke, but I was in lust with Luke’s chest.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me tight against him. I loved the possessive crush of my body against his, and the way his mouth took over and kissed me deeply, stealing my breath and turning cold mornings warm.
“Are we surfing today?” he asked, and I looked out at the water and saw the caps of white out on the point. There were already a few other surfers dotted about the water, riding the waves.
“Maybe,” I grinned as I stepped away from him and watched as he pulled his wetsuit up then grabbed his board.
Luke and I had a habit of making out in the
water before we paddled out of the cove to the waves at the point. So we didn’t always get to go surfing. Even so, we were taking things slow. In the three weeks since the storm and the incident on the beach, we’d done little more than a bit of heavy petting when we should have been surfing, or steal a few make out sessions when we were on break at work. He was behaving like a true gentleman and didn’t even try to come into my room, instead leaving me at the door with a passionate kiss that had my toes curling in my shoes and my fingers curling in the fabric of his shirt. I’d wanted to pull him in there so many times, wondering if his kisses and touches were any indication of what it would be like to have sex with him. But, I didn’t want to rush it, and I didn’t want to rush him. I knew I was the first relationship he’d had since he lost his wife, and I wanted him to be sure when we took that next step.
Our relationship also had other obstacles, well, not exactly obstacles, but definitely concerns that other relationships for someone my age didn’t typically have. Our age difference was huge. It didn’t change the attraction, but being at such different fazes of our lives certainly had an impact. Luke had a son to think about, and I had my future to think about. I was going to University soon, and while I’d opted to go to Wollongong, there was still the need for university housing, which meant that I wouldn’t see Luke every morning once I left. Given the choice, I’d stay in Hargrave Cove and commute to the University each day. The owner of The Palms had offered to let me keep working after the summer season was over, and if I could find somewhere to stay that was within my price range, I would definitely prefer the commute just so I could still see Luke every day.
“I don’t understand why you won’t just come and live with me. It doesn’t have to be in the same room, but I have a spare room. We can be roommates,” Luke said when we were sitting in the unopened bar eating cereal at one of the tables while he read the paper, and I went through the real estate listings, hoping to find something local before I had to commit to the university housing. As much as I would have loved to go and live with Luke like he’d offered, somehow, it just didn’t feel right. He’d been saving me from myself for so long that I needed to take the time to learn how to stand on my own without the help of anyone else. I’d sworn I wouldn’t turn out to be as dependent as my mother, and that’s exactly what I’d been doing by working and living at The Palms and paying my own way.
“Sure, Luke, that would be awesome. I’m still trying to win your mother over. Staying in the house isn’t exactly going to do that.” Luke’s mother barely spoke to me. Whenever I spent time with Luke and Sam in a casual setting, if she was there, she’d almost act as though I wasn’t. Luckily Sam loved having me around, so his boisterous excitement made up for the discomfort.
“You know she doesn’t live in the house with us, right? She’s just in the same street. Sam sleeps at her place a lot because I work so late.”
“Oh.” I had only been inside Luke’s house during the daytime because we were trying to introduce Sam to me casually, and the one time I had slept there, I’d been so upset over what had happened with Scott Jennings that I hadn’t given her absence in the house much thought. I guess I just assumed she and Sam were still asleep. “But still, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Not yet, anyway.”
He shrugged then leaned across the table and kissed me. “No pressure, gorgeous. We’ve got our whole lives to live together. I’m just giving you the option if you can’t find anything else. Because the way I see it, we’re destined for this whole lifelong commitment thing anyway.”
“Jumping the gun a bit there aren’t you? I thought the guy was supposed to be the commitment shy one.”
Again, he shrugged. “The benefit of age is knowing what you want when you see it. And I’ve wanted you for a long time, Dawn Tucker, I’m just giving you time to catch up.”
Desire skittered around in my stomach as I grinned and met his eyes. “I want you, Luke MacIntosh. I definitely want you.”
His eyes darkened as the sexual tension in the air increasing, causing me to blush slightly at my boldness. I wanted Luke so much that it was a constant ache in my chest.
I cleared my throat and dropped my gaze, lightly touching my heated cheek as I went back to the share accommodation listings, and tried not to climb over the table and throw myself at him. When I glanced back up at him, he was watching me with an interested and amused smile, and I blushed even more, causing us both to laugh slightly through the tension.
When I looked at the listings again, right near the bottom of the page. I saw a tiny listing that simply read ‘Room for rent. Hargrave Cove. Price Negotiable’ with a number beneath it. “Oh my god, there’s a room available here.” I put my finger on the listing and rushed over to the phone behind the bar since my mobile was in my room and pushed in the number on the handset.
“It’s ringing.” I smiled as Luke watched me with amusement. “It’s still ringing.” I tapped my fingers on the bar, knowing I was likely to get put through to voicemail.
On the sixth ring, a recorded male voice cut in – a very familiar male voice. “You’ve reached Luke MacIntosh…”
His amusement turned into a chuckle as I hung up the phone and gave him the best unimpressed look I could whilst trying not to smile. “Very funny,” I said as he moved to lean up against the bar beside me.
“It’s no joke, gorgeous. I seriously want a roommate, and if it’s not you then I might have to get some other gorgeous eighteen-year-old girl to rent the room instead.”
My eyes went wide as I opened my mouth in a huff. “You wouldn’t dare.”
He shrugged. “Maybe I would. Got my eye on one particular eighteen-year-old who really needs a place to stay, but if she seriously doesn’t want the room, I don’t know…”
I slapped him on the chest. “Don’t even joke about that.”
He caught my hand and pulled me to him for a kiss. I forgave him instantly. “OK. No jokes. You know you’re the only one I want. I only put the ad in the paper to show you how serious I was about you moving in. But, I’ll wait until you’re ready. I meant it when I said there was no pressure.”
I slid my arms around his waist and looked up at him. “Do you really want me to live with you that much?”
He moved his hands to my waist and lifted me up onto the edge of the bar so we were eye-to-eye then he nodded. “Just image how many crappy old movies you could force me to watch.”
I grinned. “And imagine how many crappy old eighties movies you could make me watch.”
“Is that a yes?”
“It’s a big step, Luke. I mean, we haven’t taken any other big steps yet. Are you sure it’s not rushing things?”
He moved his hand so his fingers threaded into my hair, and he pulled me toward him so our mouths were aligned. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to take that next step with you, Dawn.”
Something about the growling undertone of his voice set my insides dancing about excitedly. “What’s stopping you?”
“I want it to be right. I want to wake up with you the next morning, and if I’m honest, every morning after that.”
He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me in a way that made me gasp as his hand slid down from my hair to rest on my throat, his palm on my chest and his fingers moving against my delicate skin.
“I don’t want to have you then send you on your way. I want you with me. Always.”
His kisses moved to my jaw, down my neck, across my chest, his fingers ghosting across my cleavage.
“I want that,” I gasped, my fingers moving up to grip his hair as the space between my legs seemed to swell to bursting.
“Come home with me tonight,” he whispered, his hand moving to wrap around my waist and pull me against him. I felt his arousal between my legs, hard and long, pressing through the fabric of our clothes and let out a moan. “You can give me your answer in the morning.”
He withdrew his body from mine and looked me in the eye. I was so flushed, so turne
d on, that I simply nodded, and he grinned. “Is this how you win arguments?” I asked when I got my voice back. But, it still came out all breathy and his grin broadened as he reached up and pushed my hair behind my ear.
“Only the ones I think I might be losing.”
***
The day seemed to take forever to end. Luke had to close the bar at midnight, and my shift at reception ended at ten. I had two hours to kill and after having the longest shower of my life that involved as much preening as I could possibly do to prepare for him finally seeing me naked, I still had just over an hour and decided to go and wait for him up in the bar.
The moment I walked in, he looked up from what he was doing and grinned. I was wearing one of the only Hell Bunny dress I’d kept from before – the blue one with the birds on it. It was simple and classic, and it made me feel beautiful.
I no longer owned all the rollers to do my hair, so I’d tied it up in a bun on top of my head and used a thin coat of the red lipstick I’d been saving for a special occasion.
“You look like you’re going on a date. Someone I know?” he asked with a cheeky grin as I walked up to the bar. There were a handful of patrons about, and he was in the process of pulling a beer.
“Some guy I met in a bar once,” I responded, leaning forward and folding my arms across the bar so they pressed my breasts up just enough to enhance my cleavage. Luke’s eyes almost popped out of his head, and the grin became uncontrollable. “I think you might know him. He’s about yay high.” I held my hand up at his height. “The most amazing green eyes you’ve ever seen, and if you ever saw his chest.” I waved my hand at my face in exaggeration as if I felt faint. “Oh my.”
“He sounds dreamy,” Luke joked, as he placed the beers he’d poured in front of the customer and took their money.
The customer, a man of about forty-five, turned to me and nodded in agreement. “I’ll say,” he added in all seriousness. Luke and I tried not to laugh.
In the Wind Page 22
