Could Paul have really killed Anne? Adam had drawn a similar conclusion and was a lot quicker to share it with the others then I was. We had seen him and Anne arguing on several occasions and the last fight they had was more explosive then they usually were. It made sense, there was no denying that and it was obvious now that Anne hadn’t taken her own life. Someone had killed her and then tried to hide her body. But there were other questions that needed to be answered and Kerri wasn’t afraid to ask them.
She wanted to know how Adam had found Anne's body even thought it had been covered up like that. She wanted to know why it was that he was looking around in the garage, let alone the oil pits. Whether he was searching for the guns or not why did he wait so long to tell the rest of us. Why did he take it upon himself to search and why all of this seemed to implicate Paul so perfectly just after he and Adam had fought. The fact that the questions were even asked goes to show you the level of trust that we had with one another. But there was something suspicious about the whole thing and I could tell that Adam was holding something back or wasn’t being completely honest about one thing or another.
That was when Adam was forced to tell us what he had been really looking for in that oil pit. He had originally started searching for the guns just like he had said, he swore that he was, and that he hadn’t told anybody because he was waiting for an opportunity to talk about it with Paul out of earshot. But while in the garage he started thinking about what would happen if Paul found out about what he knew. He was concerned that if he couldn’t find the weapons and if Paul still had his handgun that Paul could do whatever he wanted too and he was worried that he would be number one on the hit list. That was when he decided to search the pockets of the dead in the oil pits. He had hoped to find car keys, hopefully keys belonging to a near bye vehicle.
He was trying to find a way out. He admitted that he wanted to save himself and that he was thinking about how he could get to a car and make a break for the coast on his own. I had my doubts about what Adam was telling us but I also couldn’t really find a reason for Adam to harm Anne. Truth is the only person that I could actually picture killing her was Paul. Even though some of what Adam said was a little questionable there was nothing there that made me think that he was responsible for her death in anyway.
What I found more troubling was how quickly we all convicted Paul. We never gave him the benefit of the doubt that we afforded Adam or would have for Kerri or Shannon or anyone else for that matter. What followed was a long discussion on what to do about him. He was the only one with a gun. We assumed that he had hidden the other guns, so he was the only one who knew where they were. If we confronted him or accused him directly the outcome was fairly obvious. We needed to lull him into a false sense of security and when the moment was right we would have to restrain him. Once we had his gun we could ask him whatever we had too and hopefully get the answers we needed.
We came up with a simple plan and a part of me felt like a slime ball for going along with it. But if he really was responsible for Anne’s death then I guess I really didn’t know Paul as well as I thought I had. Either way, I went along with it and played my part. We were all at the front of the store going about our business and pretending that we were busy listening to the radio when Paul came walking up to us. Derrick and Sandy were drinking a few beers and sitting in a couple of camping chairs. They looked like they did on most afternoons while Kerri and I stood by a couple of cash registers talking about a whole lot of nothing. Derrick offered me a beer and tossed one over and then followed that up by asking Paul if he wanted one. Paul agreed and Derrick threw one to him as well.
We all sat there drinking and talking for what seemed like forever until Paul finally sat down in one of camping chairs that had conveniently been left empty. The longer we waited the more awkward the whole situation started to become as if everyone was waiting for some kind of a cue. I was starting to think that our opportunity would never come because as relaxed as Paul appeared I could tell that he was still somewhat guarded.
But as I was turned away talking to Kerri I heard Derrick shout. That was when I saw Cody crack Paul on the back of the head with the stock of the hunting rifle that had been left on the roof. It was the one gun that hadn’t been hidden. Paul’s head snapped forward on impact and he went unconscious almost immediately. Derrick ran over and grabbed Paul’s gun from out of the waist of his pants and Adam and Jacob quickly tied him up with the same rope that had been used to restrain Derrick.
I didn’t even know that Cody was aware of the plan but I guess he had come up with his own. Adam had shown him what he had found earlier, Cody had heard about the missing guns, and it was one of the reasons he decided to help distract Paul while Adam showed the rest of us. Cody just decided to take it upon himself to do something about it and I couldn’t argue with it because it worked. So with Paul tied up and disarmed we started to think about our next move.
The discussions turned from what to do with Paul to how to get out of the building. All of a sudden the movement to leave for the coast was in full swing and I found myself alone in the fight to stay. But as much I was against leaving and risking it all for a small chance of finding something special I understood that there was no stopping the others from going anymore. It was go with them or stay by myself and believe me when I tell you that I debated it for sometime.
Leaving the building wasn’t going to be easy and all of us knew that. First thing first was we needed to find the guns if we had any chance of making it. So we had to search or wait for Paul to regain consciousness and hope that he’d be willing to tell us. In the end we chose to wait while we discussed the other issues at hand like what to do with Paul and how to get out of the building and make it to a vehicle safely. I remember looking at the front doors and pointing at the wall of Zeds that were blocking the entranceway and suggested that we start by coming up with a way to get past that.
There must have been hundreds of them out there. Even worse there was a huge concentration of them at every door around the store. To me that was the first obstacle that we needed to get through and if we couldn’t figure out a way to get past that planning the rest of the trip was a moot point. We thought about using the RC truck again mostly because it had worked before and there was a chance that it could work again. It was an option but during our discussions we found a few flaws in trying something like that for a second time. We thought about scaling down the side of the building from the roof in the areas where their numbers were thin. But the whole idea was too complicated to work.
Most distractions involved someone being alone on the roof either controlling the RC truck or doing something else while the others made it to one of the cars and then waited for them to return and pick them up. Well I don’t need to tell you that nobody was interested in volunteering to be the one left behind. Trust was fleeting and there wasn’t a person there that was willing to take that kind of a chance. Besides, we were going to need everyone to make it to one of those vehicles.
Then Adam suggested something that shocked us all. He hinted that we could sacrifice Paul as a distraction while the rest of us made a break for one of the cars. At first we all pretended to be disgusted by his idea. But in reality I think we were all just curious as to how it could work. I was conflicted about the entire idea. I mean Paul and I had been somewhat close ever since I got over him initially pointing that gun at me. But if he had killed Anne, if he had been the one to do it, there was no way we could bring him with us. Maybe it made sense to sacrifice him if it meant that we could all get out of here in one piece.
I could almost see how it could work, how we could use him to draw the Zeds to one area while we went out a different way. I convinced myself that it could work and for the first time I actually believed we had a chance to make it out. The only problem was that I hadn’t convinced myself that it was the right thing to do.
At some point in the middle of our conversation Paul regained consciousness and as you
can imagine he wasn’t exactly willing to cooperate after hearing what we had planned on doing with him. He flat out refused to tell us where the guns were hidden and denied anything to do with Anne’s death. He knew the guns were his only leverage and he knew if we had to waste time looking for them, well that meant we couldn’t leave, we couldn’t sacrifice him, and more time for him try and convince us that he was innocent.
Either way, there was no point in negotiating with him after that. If we were going to find the guns we were going to have to find them ourselves. We had eliminated a few places where we knew the guns couldn’t be. I knew they weren’t on the roof because I had been up there and chances were he couldn’t have moved them up there by himself anyway without one of us seeing him. So we decided that we would search the sales floor and the back room first.
Our list of things we needed to do had grown. We needed to come up with a plan, we needed to gather supplies, we needed to decide on a vehicle and of course we needed to find the guns. Coming up with the plan hit an early stumbling block as we debated whether or not we could live with ourselves if we actually used Paul as bait. I found it surprising how little resistance there was to letting Paul die. Especially considering the horrible death that we were condemning him too. I protested only a little realizing that if I put up too much of a fight there was a chance I could find myself on the wrong side of the mob.
Once we had made that decision, we had to work out the rest of the details of our escape plan. We were going to tie up Paul and leave him at the front of the store. We would position him just far enough inside that the Zeds could still see him but far enough in that it would draw a large percentage of them inside. We were going to load up all the supplies that we were going to take with us in the garage before hand so that we would be ready to go once the Zeds were inside. Everyone in the group would hide in the garage except for one person who would have to unlock the front doors and then run as fast as humanly possible to meet them there.
Luckily Zeds were slow and hopefully once they saw Paul sitting there they wouldn’t follow the runner back to the garage. We figured we would have to wait about twenty minutes or so for most of the horde to push their way inside the building and after that we would run out the garage door for my SUV. It may not have been the closest vehicle but at least we had the keys. We knew it was going to be a tight fit, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like we had any other options.
If everything worked out, we were hoping that most of the Zeds in the parking lot would keep heading for the building and the newly open doors which we hoped would limit the amount of them that we would have to deal with to get to my car. That was why we still needed the guns. We were smart enough to know that not all the Zeds would leave the area so we needed to be prepared just in case. Once we were out of the store well we were just going to make it up as we went along. There was no telling what we would encounter as we made our way across the country. So there was no real need to plan any of it out.
With everything decided upon and finding the guns the only thing keeping us there, we chose to leave the next morning. We figured that would give us enough time to find the weapons, pack up and get some rest. So Derrick and I started packing up supplies, bottled water, canned food, ammunition, flash lights and whatever essentials we felt we needed. We tried to pack light, limiting the weight of each bag that we would need to carry. It was important that we be able to move quickly.
While the two of us were packing up the others searched every square inch of the building trying to find the guns that Paul had hidden. I shared my concerns with Derrick once again, trying to remind him how bad it was out there and how bad I thought it could be.
What if the Navy wasn’t there anymore?
What if all the highways were blocked?
What if we couldn’t find gas anywhere?
What if we encountered a giant horde of Zeds?
I asked him several questions most of which he had no answer for. I tried to remind him of what we had here and how we could make it in the store if we really committed to it. But there was no convincing Derrick. He had been out there and he knew how bad it was, so there was no scaring him with horror stories of what I had seen on the news. He had lived it. He simply thought that if we stayed we would die eventually anyway and if there was a chance that we could reconnect with society in anyway it was worth trying no matter how dangerous it was.
We may have disagreed about what the best course of action was, but I was only one man with one opinion and the rest of the others were sold on heading east. While we were packing and talking the others were busy coming up empty in their search for the guns. Paul still refused to tell anybody anything and was trying to negotiate his freedom by offering up the information once he had been released. That wasn’t getting anybody anywhere. Once everything was packed I helped them in their search and had about as much luck as the others. That was when I decided to try a different approach. I went and talked to Paul alone.
I never promised him that I would let him go. I didn’t play any games with him. I came right out and asked him where they were. I tried to remind him that I had always been there for him and that we had been friends and that I hated how everything had happened. But he was quick to mention that I had promised to have his back if something happened and in his eyes I had obviously let him down in that regard. My only argument for that was that he had murdered someone and that was why he was in the predicament he was in.
He continued to deny it. He tried to feed me a bunch of bull hoping that I might actually believe him and try and convince the others that he was innocent. But then sometime in the middle of his pleas he paused for about a minute or two and then looked right at me and told me that he had done it.
He tried to tell me that it was in self-defense and that she was going to leave and open the doors and how that would have compromised the security of the building. He told me she was going to put all of our lives at risk. He told me that he was desperate and didn’t know what else to do. He seemed to be all over the place as he tried to justify his actions to me and I think he finally realized how much trouble he was actually in. He pleaded with me not to let the others leave him to die. He didn’t want to go out that way.
It was a sad sight to behold. Watching a man plead for his life like that. I tried to tell him that he could start making amends by telling me where the guns were. But still after all of that he refused. He knew that offering up the location of the guns wouldn’t change his fate. But I guess he hoped that if we were still looking, it would at least keep him alive just a little bit longer.
We said our goodbyes before I left him sitting there, tied up in that chair. I knew if we were going to leave the next morning there were still a few things that I needed to take care of.
DAY FOURTEEN
Generally before a big day they say it’s important to get a good nights sleep. It makes sense. You would think that it’s important to be well rested before an event or a trip but it usually never works out that way. The excitement tends to keep you awake and then your mind starts racing which keeps you from ever getting the rest you need. We were no different. We searched long into the night for the guns before we found them. We had done away with the watch on the roof and instead replaced that with someone keeping an eye on Paul at all times. We tried to take quick naps throughout the night in between searching and last minute preparations.
We double checked supplies, went over the plan again to make sure that everyone knew what they were supposed to do. We needed to make sure there were no screw-ups because we were only going to get one shot at it. One mistake and it was all over. We would be done for.
I spent the early morning hours on the roof watching the sunrise. I spent some time looking for Hal, hoping in a strange way to say goodbye. But he was gone. Lost in a crowd of walking disease and just another monster in a world that was filled with them. Anything special about him was gone. I looked out at all the familiar sights that I had spent so much ti
me looking at and the surrounding area that I had become all too familiar with. Then I went and checked the bags one last time, made sure the guns were still loaded with Jacob and took over for Amy for the last shift of guarding Paul before we left.
At first we didn’t speak for the better part of ten minutes. But eventually we started to reminisce about everything we had been through and that first day that seemed so long ago. We talked about all the terrible things that we had witnessed and done and how sorry we were for some of them. He almost shed a tear when he spoke about that little boy and what he had to do that day. I actually saw a more human side of Paul in those early morning hours. It was the side of him that I wanted to remember.
I met the others in the back room to grab everything we needed and got ready to start moving it into the garage. We made sure that everyone had a gun and or a camping hatchet for protection. We were defiantly going to need them once we got out into the parking lot. Derrick quickly showed Sandy and Adam how to use the weapons they had while Jacob and Amy inspected their weapons to make sure they were ready to go. We double-checked all of the supplies, I made sure that I had the keys safely in my pocket and remember feeling as nervous as I ever had in my entire life.
In Hiding: A Survivors Journal of the Great Outbreak Page 21
