by Jude Ouvrard
Ink Me More
Jude Ouvrard
Copyright © Jude Ouvrard 2017
Published by Jude Ouvrard
Cover Artist: Kari March
Editor: RE Hargrave
Beta Reader: Lisa Matthew & Simone Beaudelaire
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
I believe in my dreams.
Not his.
To all the women fighting for success and happiness.
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Why am I so nervous? I couldn’t help asking myself as I left my two best friends behind me. The last time I’d been in this airport was to let John go. However, this time my presence here meant traveling across the country to be with him, so I should’ve been happy. Tears rolled down my cheeks anyways because the thought of leaving Nix and Bekka behind hurt. My besties meant everything to me; the healing star on my skin was a forever reminder and proof of our friendship. Someday, I’d add more ink.
As I made my way onto the plane, I struggled to control the tears, but I managed. Although I missed my girls already, my future awaited me in Boston. John. My boyfriend. A small smile appeared on my lips; I couldn’t wait to see him. It’d been too long. Besides, what would be a more perfect birthday gift than a surprise reunion?
The second I stepped foot outside the taxi several hours later, I knew Boston was different from Seattle. The air felt strange and not like home. In that moment, I also knew this city would never be more than a temporary home. After graduation, we would be going back to Washington and, hopefully, John would be putting a ring on my finger.
VAL
1 year later…
A few days ago, John and I graduated from Boston University, at long last, and I couldn’t be happier. We’d finished school; there would be no more homework, and soon we’d be done with Boston, too. All that remained to do before we left was get this tattoo done.
Jenson, my tattoo artist, always pulled off perfection in his work. The mix of colors and shapes he’d inked into my skin over the past months captured what I’d envisioned when we’d started working on my creation. The man had been able to take all of my own drawings and fit them into a masterpiece on my arm. This was the third sitting, but my three-quarter sleeve would be complete after tonight. John wasn’t a fan of my growing tattoo collection, or its increasing visibility, but he didn’t stop me from going to get them.
“And your tattoo is done, Miss Valerie.”
“About time. It was starting to hurt.” I chuckled and went over to the mirror. My smile wouldn’t go; I loved it. “You’re the best. You met my every expectation.”
“We had a good time, didn’t we?” I nodded, and he asked, “What are you doing tonight? You want to grab a beer or something?”
Is he asking me on a date? Oh my god. “I’m sorry, Jenson. I’m going to dinner with my boyfriend, and then we’re supposed to go out after. I could call you, if you want to meet up later.” And that made the situation even more awkward. Great.
“That’s okay. You two enjoy your night.”
After giving Jenson a hug, I made my final payment. The thought didn’t escape me that I’d have given him a chance if I wasn’t with John. Jenson was cute, that was for sure, with amazing ink on his arms, fingers, and neck. Plus, he had a smirk that made me blush. Maybe I just had a thing for bad boys.
As I walked outside, the burn from the fresh ink grew more intense with every step. I knew the pain would ease after a while, but it’d have been great to get some ice on it right then.
Before leaving Seattle, getting the small star on my ankle had scared me. Now, I had plenty of tattoos, and couldn’t seem to stop myself from planning the next one, and the next. John and I’d gotten matching tattoos a couple of weeks ago. It had been his second piece, but they were always covered because his future didn’t allow for ink, or so he said. John felt his aspirations to be a respectable businessman meant no ink should show, that people couldn’t know he was marked. I didn’t like his prejudice. We often debated over this, but had never come to an agreement. Back in Seattle, Nix’s boyfriend Levi was covered in them, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a respected businessman. He and his partner Kyle owned Ink Me, the tattoo shop where I’d gotten that star.
Tonight, at dinner, I planned on asking John when we were headed home. Boston wasn’t my home, never would be. I missed Seattle, my friends, and my family way too much. With a number of cheap flights leaving almost every day, all we had to do was to pack our things and go.
We were getting ready to go out for dinner. I was taking care of my tattoo, which I couldn’t stop staring at, when John asked, “Hey, sweet pea, tonight is country night at the pub. Are you up for going after dinner?”
“Country, really? Do we need to wear cowboy hats?” I laughed.
“No, that won’t be necessary. Wear your jeans, nothing fancy.”
I nodded; I had no problem with that. John watched me get dressed, and I could see desire in his eyes. These past few weeks we’d both been under a lot of stress with our finals. There’d been a couple of fights, I’d cried, and had even thought we’d never get over it. In the end, we reconciled, but I was having trouble shaking the feeling that things had changed forever between us.
“You know you’re beautiful, right?”
I blushed. “So are you.” John was easy on the eye. He had perfect white teeth, slick hair, and a casual chic style that fit him well.
Approaching me and wrapping his arms around my waist, he said, “I think we’re going to be fine now. We’ll enjoy our summer and get good jobs. Maybe look into a bigger apartment?”
“I can’t wait to be home again.”
“Home? You mean here, right? In Boston?”
What? No… no… no. “I’m not staying in Boston, John. I want to go back to Seattle. That is home for me, and it always will be. That’s always been the plan…”
His arms loosened and he leaned back to look at me. “I– I don’t know what to say, Val. I thought we were staying here. I have a good chance of getting in with a really good firm downtown.”
“You don’t want to go back home?”
Shaking his head, his next words gutted me. “I’m sorry, but, no, I don’t want to. This city adopted me, and I love it here.”
I was going to start crying any second, I knew it.
“Look, can we enjoy our date tonight, then talk about this later?”
When he kissed my lips it felt disconnected. A tall, thick wall had risen between us. I accepted his offer to placate him, for the moment, but I would never agree to stay here.
At the restaurant, the wine seemed to soothe my mind. John did his best to avoid the subject we’d broached, but I couldn’t ignore the conflict waging a war within me. To me, it’d always been a given that we were only here until graduation. Of course, I couldn’t deny I had noticed how much he loved it here.
“Please stop thinking about it, Valerie. We’ll talk about it later tonight or tomorrow. Let’s just enjoy our night. Ok
ay, sweet pea?”
I shrugged because, well, what else could I do?
John ordered my favorite dessert in hopes of cheering me up. Not much could beat a warm brownie with vanilla ice cream, after all. While I ate, in my mind I couldn’t stop the recurring thought that I might be leaving Boston alone. Will I be okay with that? I didn’t think so.
“Are you ready to go to the pub?” His words seeped into my confused mind while he grabbed my hand, kissing its palm. The hair on my arm stood up, making me smile for the first time tonight. “Come on, let’s go.” Our hands were still locked as he led the way outside of the small restaurant and then to the pub. “Don’t you like this city? It’s beautiful. The people are nice, and there are plenty of job opportunities.” He’d given in and was ready to talk about it.
“I miss my family and friends back in Seattle more than I like the Boston architecture. I’m lonely here, John. There’s nothing holding me back but you,” I said with a sigh while trying to control the tears threatening to escape.
“Valerie, I’d planned to propose to you tonight, but I have a feeling you wouldn’t say yes. You do know I love you, don’t you?” His voice had grown thicker, filled with emotion. He held my hand tight, and I could feel how clammy his was. John was nervous.
“I love you, too, John. I’ll always love you, no matter what, but I don’t see my life here. After all these months, I thought you knew that. Why don’t you want to go back home?”
Releasing my hand, he ran both of his hands through his hair. Something he’d always done when there was confrontation of some sort. “I love this city more than I love home. This is my home now, Val. I’ve made new friends and I’ve a great chance of getting an amazing job. There is so much for me to lose if I leave.”
A lone tear rolled down my cheek. Traitor. “Then this is the end for us, John. I’m sorry. I can’t stay here.”
“I want to spend the night with you.” His warm hand cupped my face. “You’re so beautiful, Val. I always thought you would be my wife. I’m not ready to say goodbye to you or my dream. I love you,” he said curling his arms around me and holding me with all his strength. “I love you, sweet pea.”
Now wasn’t the time to break down, and if I tried to speak, despite the fact that I loved him, I wouldn’t be able to refrain.
“Say something, Val. Please.”
Without meeting his gaze, I took a deep breath. “I always thought we would settle down and have kids running around everywhere.” A smile marked my lips. Am I still allowed to dream? “I’m sorry that I don’t like it here. I tried.”
“I know you did, and until now, I thought you’d finally found your place here.”
We both fell silent. John kept his arm around me while we strolled along the sidewalk. Nearing our destination, he stopped and turned to face me.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Of course, you can, John.”
With his soft lips caressing mine, it took everything within me not to start crying. This was not what I expected. I couldn’t believe we were ending this way.
“Are you coming in?” It was clear he hoped I’d say yes.
“Give me a minute. I’ll meet you inside.”
Kissing my forehead, John’s lips lingered on my skin longer than was normal for him. The emotions surrounding us heavy and intense, he took a deep breath, and I heard how shaky it was. Before breaking down, he turned around and entered the pub, giving me space. My bottom lip trembled and my eyes were invaded by tears. I was a woman on the verge of crying her heart out.
While trying to distract myself from the inevitable heartbreak, my attention was drawn to a young man whose grey eyes were burning through me while I fought my tears. He was sporting a pair of black cowboy boots on his feet, and dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt. I put him a few years older than me. “What are you looking at?” I snapped and the frustration resonated in my voice; I only wanted to hide the sadness.
“It doesn’t look like you’re doing well. Are you okay?”
“Why do you care?” I asked him.
He frowned before giving me a blunt reply. “If he doesn’t look after you, someone else has to.”
I’m sorry, what? Who the hell does this guy think he is?
“So, I’m going to ask you a second time, are you okay?”
“We’re breaking up.” Saying it out loud wasn’t liberating in any way. As the teardrops reached my chin, he approached me to wipe them dry.
“It doesn’t look like either of you want to break up.”
“We don’t, but we don’t want the same thing in our lives anymore, either, so I’ll be leaving tomorrow.”
“Oh? Where to?”
“Seattle.” He smiled, and I stepped back from him, unable to believe he had the balls to smile after what I’d told him. “You think it’s funny?”
“I’m sorry. It’s not. It’s just that, well, I’m heading west soon, too. I’m not a fan of the East Coast either.”
“At least I now know it’s not just me.”
“You’ll be fine, tattoo girl. You’re strong, I can tell.” He smiled again, but it was a different kind this time. Flirty, I would say. “I have to head back in.”
“Okay,” I breathed out.
Alone at last. I had to control myself because tears didn’t have a place here. Tomorrow would be different, but tonight I had to try and enjoy myself, try to enjoy my last night in the city which tore us apart.
Damn you, Boston.
Through the walls of the pub I could hear the country music pounding. Really? What am I doing here? I had no idea. When I entered, I was surprised to see an automated bull ride in the center of the pub. I’d always wanted to try but it looked so hard.
“If you do it, I’ll do it.” John came out of the crowd and handed me a beer.
I laughed, a welcome feeling. “Alright, I’m in.”
From the moment I climbed on, the ride was uncomfortable. No doubt existed in my mind that this bull was going to leave me sore, but I didn’t care. A huge smile on my face and my laughter impossible to control, I waited for the ride to start moving. It ended up being plenty of fun, but hard at the same time, since only one hand held me stable while I tried to keep my balance with the other.
“Let’s go, Val!” John’s cheers reminded me of our early days, when I was a cheerleader. Back in those days, being the best on the squad was the one thing which had mattered to me. John had come to every competition.
Being distracted by my thoughts got me propelled to the floor, which was covered by a soft mattress. Since I never saw it coming, there was no way of fighting back when I got thrown. Laughter bubbling out of me, I tried getting up but couldn’t. It took security helping me before I was upright and able to meet John outside the bull ring.
My heart was still pounding while I drained the beer John held for me. “Your turn now, and don’t back down.”
“It was quite sexy, and rather impressive, to see you up there. You were great,” he said before kissing my temple and heading toward the mean machine.
While John was getting his instructions from the ride owner, I found myself distracted again, this time by a voice coming from the stage. When I looked over, the guy from outside was there.
“Good evening, everyone. I’m Miles Kent and I have a song for you.” Though the words were offered to the crowd, he was looking straight at me when he said them. From beneath his black cowboy hat, his eyes appeared to glisten in my direction. “This one is called ‘Pretty girl’.”
Out of the corner of my eye I could see John riding and holding on for dear life. For a short period, my eyes left the guy on stage to cheer him on. “Come on, cowboy!” I shouted out loud, and then wondered who I was encouraging as my gaze returned to the stage when Miles began to sing.
Don’t break down when this is over.
You’ll find better, you’ll be happier.
Don’t break down when you walk away.
You had your doubts that he wasn’
t the one.
Life is hard when you are a grown up.
You want to love and be loved;
You want the perfect life,
The one you always dream of.
So, don’t worry if you walk away,
Something better’s coming your way.
Don’t break down, you pretty girl.
Let your heart heal.
Be stronger for the man
Who’ll sweep you off your feet.
Don’t break down when this is over.
You’ll find better, you’ll be happier.
Don’t break down when you walk away.
You had your doubts that he wasn’t the one.
Is Miles singing this song for me? Right in front of John, no less. I tried ignoring him by returning my eyes to John, but Miles’ words had registered, and it was taking everything in me not to cry again. Everything would be alright at some point, just not in this moment. This situation sucked.
John got thrown from the bull a few seconds later and soon came back to me, excitement obvious in his eyes. “I lasted eight seconds even though he didn’t go easy on me. That was awesome!”
“Hey, John. Well done, man.”
John’s friend had shown up, meaning our evening had just turned into any other regular night. It would not be the memorable one I’d hoped for. Our last night together was going to be surrounded by his buddies and beer. My sigh was wrought with disappointment and sadness.
Don’t break down, you pretty girl.
One day when you’re ready,
You’ll let a man be
What you need him to be.
