by Imani King
Judgment—clouded.
“Goddammit all to hell. I’m done with his threats. And hers too, while we’re at it. There’s got to be some solution we haven’t thought of.” The severe, Roman lines of his face harden into a mask of anger. “I can quit my job. I can leave the NFL before anyone ever knows about this. I want to be with you, and only you. You’re the only thing that’s important right now. The only thing I want.”
Mack's words ring in my ears. Did he just say what I think he said? Did he just say the one thing I've been wanting him to say for all these years, even as I denied it, even to myself? That he wants me above all else - above his career, above all the other women, all the perks of being a famous football player? Part of me - a big part of me - wants to nestle into his arms and agree to his plan. But I can't do that. I came out here to do a job. And it wasn't getting Macklin Pride to quit the career he loves. Not to mention the fact that I'm still skittish, stung by a past neither of us have ever been able to get beyond.
“I don’t know if you’ll be saying that when Kinley throws her tantrum and gets her way. She’s the most dangerous kind of woman. Privileged. Scorned and rejected. And she enjoys playing the victim. There’s no one the media loves more than that type of girl. They see her as innocent and powerless—and when she’s officially jilted and you leave the NFL, there won’t be another job or another fancy life lined up for you after it all ends.” I lower my head into my hands, head starting to pulse just slightly, a cloudy pain forming behind my eyes. I fear the end coming, the end of whatever this is. I might as well say goodbye to Mack now, even though there are many things left unsaid, secrets left unspoken, layers hidden beneath his surface. So many people might think that there’s not much hidden beneath the façade of a masculine, muscular linebacker. But with Mack, there have always been hidden depths. If I’d thought of that when he left instead of being blinded by pain, maybe I would have gone to him then. And maybe we wouldn’t be sitting here right now.
So many maybes. So many regrets from times long ago. I try to sear the memory of Mack holding my hands in his into my memory, indelibly, so that I can freeze this moment and time and go back to it when this is all over. Because there’s no way I’ll be leaving town with this man. There can't be, can there? Second chances happen, but not for me.
“Renata. Listen to me. There’s a way out of this. I’ll find it. We’ll get through this, and we’ll come out on the other side.”
I nod slightly. “If you say so,” I mumble. My brain starts circling through all the things we could do—talking to lawyers, getting the contract looked over and somehow nullified, and perhaps my least favorite—talking to Kinley. Could I pay her part of my commission on this case to get her off my back? I remind myself that $600,000 is nothing to a woman like her. It’s all about the glory she can get from a famous relationship in the tabloid headlines.
“I’ll quit. I’ll do it. Before they can fire me, because I’m sure as hell not continuing with any engagement when I don’t love that woman, and she doesn’t have a goddamn ounce of respect for me.”
He’s so angry now he's shaking, so I squeeze his hands and pull him into an embrace. In an instinctual response, heat pools between my legs, my sex pulsing from being so close to him and taking in his scent. Like he’s reading my mind, he pulls me into an embrace on his lap, my legs straddling his. It feels so intensely sensual to be with him right now. He tilts my head toward his and kisses me, softly, gently, until the kiss grows in intensity. We sit there like that, just kissing.
The power of his embrace seems to block out everything else in the world—all of the pain and the drama, the headlines targeted at Mack, the conniving and backstabbing of the men and women who would seek to do him harm. We don’t do anything else, content to just be together for this still moment in time.
When he gets up to leave, I feel a sense of preemptive loss. When he goes up to his house to meet Kinley and all of the men from his team for the kickoff party, he’ll be solidifying himself as part of a power couple. The engagement was one thing—but this is the party all the photographers and sports reporters are attending. There will be pictures and interviews, photo opportunities with Eddie Davidson and all the members of the team. With each public event, we’re more deeply mired into this agreement.
And it’s clear Kinley and Eddie aren’t about to let it go.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The party up at my place is usually the biggest splash of the preseason. With Kinley here, there are even more photographers and reporters than usual. The caterer has everything set up perfectly—tens of thousands of dollars worth of food. The open bar is already flowing. Wingate and Darius are helping themselves, already caught in a deep conversation. Their eyes flick over to me, where I stand in the corner. Kinley comes and goes, taking my arm and dragging me around the room. With each touch she places on my skin, I cringe and something deep in my gut sinks. I know Darius and Wingate are talking about me, about the choices I’ve made that led up to this night. About the headlines in the media, and my desperate wish to break the engagement.
My eyes endlessly scan the room for Renata. Her red lips and perfectly painted red fingernails. Her body, muscular and sensual and tightly controlled—that is, until she’s in my arms. It’s then that she becomes who she really is. Now that I’ve finally had her, I want more. I lick my lips, thinking of my tongue against her skin. Being here at this party makes me think of all the mistakes I’ve made, all the things I’ve kept hidden, all the needs I have, the life I want. That life is with Renata. Not with football. Not with the team. And definitely not with Kinley.
My thoughts swirl into a fever pitch, and I finally pull Kinley aside after she’s had a few glasses of wine. “Kinley,” I whisper. “We know you’ve been leaking shit to the press. And it ain’t terribly pleasing.” I grab her hand and squeeze tight like we’re a normal couple, and she whimpers. In a former life, her little lip bite and soft sighs would have been alluring. But sober—and finally aware of what I want—there’s nothing that compels me toward this woman.
“Who’s ‘we?’ You and your gay cousin? Or your mysterious lover on the side?”
“I’ve got no lover on the side, and you know it.” What I’ve got is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with—she’s no side woman. She’s the only woman.
“Do I know it? Hm, I’ve been wondering how Macklin Pride keeps himself occupied with his legendary cock and insatiable sexual appetite. None of that sexual energy is directed at me, is it? Am I not enough for you, Mack? Am I not pretty enough? Not famous enough?” She pouts her lips at me, and I back away from her a couple of inches, disgusted.
“Didn’t take you long to find someone else you’d rather be with.” I nod to the wide receiver I think she’s sleeping with, and she blushes, almost imperceptibly. “If you want to be with someone else, by all means, please go for it.”
“He’s not famous. He’s not the one I want to tame and show off to the world. You are. You’re the one who will get me the most concert tickets, the biggest video producers, and the most intrigued fans. You will not screw this up for me. We’ll be engaged through the goddamn season or so help me, I will end you—and her. Whoever she is.” She says the last words pointedly, turning to flash a smile and take my arm in hers just as a photographer passes by. After that, she leaves me and walks over to Gabe, the wide receiver. They walk off together, and I know she’s doing it to flaunt her power right in my face.
I walk past the open bar, again tempted. After that dark day when Renata saw me at my worst, though, I won’t touch it. “Club soda,” I say to the bartender. He pours it for me, and I take it, still scanning the room for Renata. The rage is pouring through me. Kinley is fucking with the wrong linebacker.
Just as I have that thought, I look up to see Renata standing by the door, in her white blouse and pencil skirt. Even though her outfit is plain, she looks a million times more beautiful than Kinley. There’s a lingering look of guilt on h
er face. She blames herself for this. I blame myself. And soon, I might have to let her go without her ever knowing how I truly feel about her.
Without even thinking, I walk over to her. Glancing around cautiously, I guide her back onto the front porch, where the stars are hanging over my estate with a delicate glow. “Let me take you down to the back porch. I have things I need to tell you. Things that need to be said by the light of the stars, not in a party where I’m pretending to be engaged to a woman I don’t love.”
“This isn’t wise, Macklin,” she says.
I think of how recklessly I want her, how deeply and awfully I need her. I brush my thumb over her bottom lip. If I have to tell her goodbye, I want one last night. “Kinley just went off with Gabe.” I shrug. “She’s occupied. I can guarantee it.”
Renata gulps and nods her head slowly, letting me lead her down the stairs and around to the back of the house. The bottom porch faces the guest house and the back of my estate, secluded and private. No one can hear us here. I’ve tested that fact a number of times. It might be stupid. It might be reckless. But let Kinley find us. The bravado rages through my blood, mixed with my need for the woman beside me, the one whose hand is curled trustingly into my own.
“I’m done. I’m quitting. You know it’s the right choice, don’t you.” I say it more as a statement than as a question. “I know Kinley is verging on psychotic, and there’s no way I’ll continue this. I’ll quit before she ruins me—and I’ll be a free agent.” With every event and every press release, we’re getting deeper and deeper into this, and all I want is the woman standing in front of me. I want her more than the NFL. I want her more than this job. I want her more than the money I’m funneling to my good-for-nothing brother every month.
It’s time to make a stand.
“No,” she says, looking up at me. Her hair seems surrounded in starlight. Tonight there’s a breeze that seems to signify the coming of fall. Once in a blue moon, North Carolina is blessed to get a few breezes like that in August, and it seems all at once tied to Renata. With all the mistakes both of us have made, she’s been the breath of fresh air that I needed, the very thing that reminded me of who I was.
“I’ve decided I’m done. This preseason shindig is the last event.”
“The contract. We’ve checked into it. You can’t get out of it.” The words fall flat on both of our ears.
“Fine. Yes. I’ll start the season like we both promised Eddie. Then I’m ditching Kinley publicly, and I’m with you. Then I’m going to Eddie and quitting the team. For real.” The last words catch in my throat, and I step towards Renata. She’s lovelier than ever in her tight black skirt and red high heels. On any other woman, her tailored white blouse might look severe or boring, but on her it looks sultry, sensual. I can almost taste her in my mouth, and I need her, now more than ever.
“Mack—after all the time between us—and your family—is this a good idea?” Her brown eyes are big. I take one step closer, filling the space between us, pressing my body to hers and taking her in my arms. Instinctively, I raise my hand to the top button of her blouse and open it. There’s a hubbub going on upstairs, but we’re here on the bottom porch, removed from it all.
“Ren,” I say, kissing her on those cherry-red lips and not caring if I get whatever lip gloss she’s wearing right on my lips. “I love you. Those words have been on my lips since the moment you appeared on my doorstep. I loved you from the moment I met you in the sixth grade, and I haven’t stopped loving you a day since then. I made the biggest mistake of my life when my brother and father bullied me into getting away from you, and I mean to make up for that mistake every single day from here on out. That’s what happened. Your dad told my parents I wasn’t good enough for you, and that he’d extend their debt payments for however long they needed if I let you go. And then he added the real kicker—your father was going to transfer all of your mother’s credit card debt into your name and saddle you with every bit of it if I didn’t leave you alone. I wasn’t sure if he was really going to do it… but I don’t know. My brother physically fought me to keep me from going to you. By the time I came back to find you, you were gone.”
She doesn’t respond, but her body is hot against mine, breeze swirling around us. She leans against me and sobs silently. “God,” she moans. “I should have known. I should have known. My family… I can’t believe this.”
We stand like that for a long time, the night breeze swirling around us. “I want you, and only you, Renata. I love you,” I say again.
“I don’t know what to say—”
My hands find their way to her skirt and lift it up over her hips. She doesn’t protest, instead leaning into me and moaning softly. My cock pulses, growing hard in my jeans. I want to rip off her clothes and bury myself inside of her all at once, meeting my release as soon as possible. But instead of following my gut on this one, I pull down her panties with aching slowness. She’s neatly trimmed, and she takes in a sharp breath as the breeze blows against her bare sex.
“You don’t have to say the same, Ren. But spread your legs for me and let me show you what I mean.”
Without a sound, she does, leaning back against the pillar, nails clicking against the white painted wood.
“What if we—”
Get caught? I know those are the next words coming, so I kneel to shut her up and press my lips to her thigh, kissing inward, listening to each panting breath she takes.
For a moment, I pause, letting my breath get hot against her skin, taking in the warm muskiness of her body. My cock is rock hard, near granite-level hard, and there’s nothing I want more than to push her down to the ground and slide into her gleaming wetness, feel how hot she is against my bare skin. But my mouth is watering just as much—it feels like centuries since I’ve tasted her.
Bringing one hand from her hip to her sex, I extend my fingers to find just how wet she is, sweeping them over her clit. She gasps and throws her head back, trying to keep quiet so we don’t draw attention from above. At the moment, I don’t give a single fuck about anyone at the stupid party upstairs.
There’s only now. There’s only her. There’s only Renata.
I replace my fingers with my tongue, circling it over the button of her clit, kissing her there, sucking and licking, taking in her sharp, rich essence.
A shiver runs through her body, which only makes me want her more. Soft moaning noises escape her lips, and I want more. I want to wake up to that noise every day, to her soft sweetness, my cock buried inside of her, each of us taking our pleasure as we wake in the morning. Moving forward ever so slightly, I find her entrance with my tongue, teasing her, darting in and out until she’s shaking against my face, trying to hold back her babbling, cries stuck in her throat.
“Mack, Mack... Oh God.” She whispers my name over and over, like she can’t figure out what to say next. She’s close to her height, and the tension inside of me is reaching a fever pitch, like I might explode if I can’t have her now. Still, I keep on, worshiping her sweet sex with my mouth, until she dissolves into incoherent groaning, spreading her legs wider and using me to hold up her weight. In the heat of the moment, I lift one of her legs, placing it over my shoulder and holding her up with one arm as I lick and suck, until she’s crying out louder and coming hard against my tongue, her high heel digging into my back as she presses against me.
This is what it feels like to be a man, making the woman you love come, standing in front of the house you built for her and only her.
She slumps back against the column and brings her leg back down, laughing and then covering her mouth because she’s laughing so hard, too hard to contain. Reality hits her, and she tenses again, lips pursed, her eyes looking up like someone might hear us—like someone might care.
Since Kinley’s already been with at least two other men on the team, I’m not at all concerned about her caring.
“Don’t look up there, sweet pea. I’ll give you something else to look at,” I
whisper, voice hoarse and needy. Her eyes meet mine as I stroke myself through my jeans. “I’ve only come inside you once, and that’s not nearly enough. I want it again. I want you to wake up in my bed so I can have you when I want you, so I can make you come for me every morning and again every night.”
With one hand, I unbuckle myself, sighing with relief as I free my cock from my jeans. There’s already a pearly bead of precum forming at its tip. Lowering my hand to the base, I grasp my thickness and stroke myself, somehow becoming harder with each movement.
Renata remains silent, but I can read her face, and there’s more pleasure in her body, just waiting for release.
I stand and pick her up, wrapping her legs around my waist so that my cock touches the burning heat of her sweet, delicate folds. I take her over to the teak lounge chair, sitting and keeping her dark wetness pressed against me. Deftly, my fingers move over the buttons of her blouse, exposing the sheer white lace of her bra, her deep brown nipples already stiff, pressing against the fabric. She whimpers softly, throwing her arms around my neck, letting go of the inhibitions that have been binding her. I take one breast in my hand, rolling then nipple between my thumb and forefinger. My mouth finds the other, sucking its stiffness through the sheer fabric.
Moaning, desperate, she lifts herself and finds the head of my cock.
Like I taught her last time, she lets just the head slide into her entrance, fingers flicking over her clit as she holds herself there, preparing to take my full thickness and length.
