by Lucy Rinaldi
“What are you doing going through my phone?” I feel quite annoyed that she’s invading my privacy, not that I’m surprised, it’s not like she hasn't done it before a million and one times.
“I didn’t, you had a message from Elijah so I opened it. I thought maybe something was wrong, but what do I see? Huh?” Her eyes are wide and on fire!
“I don’t know, Sam, what did you see?” I’m scared of the answer, I don’t want an argument with Sam about Elijah because she’s always right, I always stick up for him rather than myself. I pull myself into a sitting position as she hands me my phone. I glance at it quickly before I read it properly trying to focus my eyes. “What time is it?” I don’t know why I asked the time, I think to steal myself from reading what he’s sent me.
“2am. Now, read it and explain... Now!” Okay jeez...
Sender: Elijah: McLaughlin
To: Mercedes Moretti
Just to make it perfectly clear, you belong to me! Right?! You let some scum bag piece of shit touch you in ways only I should! Then you fuck him and tell me you were raped?! Why was that? Oh yes, because I found out! You then continue with this fucking lie until I snap and punish you!!What is it with you, Sadie? Did you like being tied and hooked up like that? Did you get off on being caned? And I know you liked the way I fucked you in that room all tied up and suspended... I’m not the bad guy here, Sadie, you lied to me, I had to teach you a lesson! I thought you’d learned it, but yet here you are defying me again, leaving the house when I told you not to! And you’re there with that gob shite sister of mine! What if she sees the marks and bruises, huh? I’ll never hear the end of it! I want you home now!! If your home by 12am I won’t say anything, I’ll just be glad your home and everything will be fine. If not, then... Well, then you really will know what pain is!!!!
My heart beats so loudly in fear that it feels like it’s coming out of my chest. My god, I thought he’d be with her, he can’t have stayed home waiting for me! But of course he would, he hates being defied, and that’s exactly what I did, defied him. But then if he wasn’t with the woman he would have come here and dragged me home with him by now. God, I feel so sorry for the girl right now, what if he took his anger out on her? Somehow I doubt it, he will save it all up for me. Sam sat next to me, concern etched on her face. I think my face has lost all color! “What happened to you, Sadie?” She tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and I can feel the tears hot in my eyes. She pulls me into her arms and kisses my head. “I’m here for you, babe. I won’t let him hurt you again, I promise” I sob quietly to myself and as I do, I realize I can’t do this anymore, I need to tell someone, and who better than my best friend?
We sat for hours it seemed as I explained everything to her, the rape and Elijah’s attack. She didn’t say anything she just let me talk. Every now and then she let out a gasp, and rubbed her hand up and down my arm in comfort. As soon as I’m finished she lifts my head and kisses my cheek. “Stand up”
“Why?”
She looks at me ashen and swallows. “Please, just stand up” I get to my feet and she follows. “Now take your top off” I’m not going to take my clothes off in front of her! There was a time I could care less how many clothes I had on or off in front of her, she’s my best friend. But now? No, I can’t, I hate myself and the way I look.
I shake my head at her. “I can’t” My voice is so quiet I can hardly hear myself.
She walks over to me and opens the only button on my jacket and steps back. “There’s only me here, Sadie. I won’t hurt you, you know that. But I have to see. Please bestie, I want to help you” The knot in my stomach threatens to explode; I know she loves me, my dear best friend, but I’m so scared. But if I want this to end, then I have to show her.
Slowly I wriggle out of my jacket, then unbutton my shirt; I slip it off and throw it on the couch. I unzip my pants and remove them, and she eyes me with that look of why-the-pants? I stand there in just my bra and panties, and I feel so exposed in front of my best friend. She walks over to me, she instantly grabs my hands, looking down at the not so red anymore marks on my wrists, she lets go and looks down at the green and yellow bruises on my stomach, then she lets out a gasp as she’s obviously seen the still dark purple bruises on my thighs and upper legs. She begins to walk slowly around me and the voice in my heads screaming “No! You idiot, why are you letting her see this?” I swallow hard as Sam touches my dressings gently. “What’s with all the dressings?”
I breathe deeply and close my eyes. “Take them off” I whisper.
She swallows hard and I feel her cold fingertips on my skin as she slowly removes them one by one. I hear her gasping, and I know she’s trying to stifle it with her hand over her mouth. “Oh my god, what has he done to you?” Her voice is so low, and I know she’s crying, I can hear it in her voice and it’s just too much. I slide to my knees with my head in my hands, and the tears fall freely. I feel her arms around my shoulders, holding me close. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I tremble in her arms. The cold on my still very open wounds is so painful. I can feel her, pressing the dressings closed against my skin once more. After a while she looks at me, her beautiful eyes red and puffy from crying. “You need to see a doctor, those wounds look infected” Doctor? Fuck no! Elijah will go mad!
“No, I can’t” My voice is barely audible.
“I’m not talking no for an answer, Sadie. You took care of me through everything with Toby, now it’s my turn to take care of you. Oh, my beautiful best friend” She stroked my face with her hand, tears in her eyes she kissed my head. “I’ll call Alex, his brother is a doctor, he can come here and take a look at you” She’s fussing, it’s what she always does when she doesn’t know what to do.
“I have to go home, Elijah will be mad”
“Home? Sadie, there is no way on this earth I’m letting you go back there to that... bastard!” I want to scream at her, I need to go home to him, but I just don’t have the energy to fight her on this. With her arm still round my shoulder, around the front of my body, her other hand which is at the back of me grabs her cell from the pocket of her jacket which has fallen to the floor, perhaps while we slept. She dials a number and I drop my head into the crease of her arm on the inside of her elbow, and she cradles me while I cry softly into her arm “Alex... I know it’s late, baby... I’m sorry, but I need your help... I need you to come home” Home? I didn't know he moved in here with her!
~ ~ ~
Chapter Six.
I sat there on Sam’s couch in a world of my own dressed in her nightshirt, something she said would feel easier on my back. People came but I didn’t look at them. I felt like a fool, like a caged animal at the zoo for them all to ogle. I flinched when Sam spoke to me. I was terrified when she walked me into one of her spare rooms, the room she’s always called mine since she bought the place. She has one for me and one for Clyde, I have the same for them at my house. Even though they haven’t used them in a long time. Clyde also has room for Sam and me at his house. We have them for times like this, just in case we need each other. That’s how much we love each other! The three of us are soulmates, the best of friends, a brother and his sisters. I have been so lost since being with Elijah, I should have listened to Clyde and Sam when they told me to leave him after the first time he beat me in anger. It’s easy for someone else to say “Leave him” It’s not so easy to take that advice.
“Please don’t be afraid, Mercedes, I’m not going to hurt you” It’s now 3.50 in the morning, I’m naked with nothing but a sheet covering the front of my body, while Alex’s big brother, Dr. Blake Benedict looks at the marks that are so visibly sprawled over my body. Dr. Blake Benedict is tall, tanned and muscular, with the deepest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. They’re the kind of eyes you could get lost in and never want to find your way back out of again. Unlike Elijah’s, Blake’s eyes are kind, he looks to me, utterly beautiful. I tried not to meet his gaze when he looked at me. A man’s gaze isn’t something I wan
t to view for a very long time!
I feel so ashamed standing here like this, but he’s gentle and kind, his voice smooth like silk. I’ve never felt as ashamed as I do right now. He was kind when he looked at the bruises on my thighs. But I couldn’t bring myself to let him check me internally. He tried to tell me it was needed, just in case I had any internal damage, but I couldn’t allow him to do it. I was far too scared to allow it. He opens his bag and pours some kind of liquid onto cotton swabs and slowly wipes the first cut. I wince as it stings like a bastard!
“Ouch!”
“I’m sorry, I know it stings but I have to clean them, Mercedes, they’re deeply infected. Try and hold on in there. I’ll be as quick as I can. But if you need me to stop, then just raise your hand and I will stop immediately and let you have a break. Okay?” I nod because I’ve quite frankly lost the power of speech. Dr. Benedict asked me the odd question about how I know Sam, and how I came to have such cuts, when I know he knows already because I heard Sam telling him. I figured he was just trying to hear my side. I didn’t answer anything he asked I just stood staring into nothing. Why does his name ring a bell? I’ve heard it before, his face seems familiar too, but I swear I have never met this man in my life before. After what seems like ten years he’s finally finished. “You may get dressed now Mercedes; take these painkillers now to ease the pain, and I’ll wait outside for you. Thank you for being such a good patient” I wrap the sheet around myself feeling vulnerable. He smiles at me and I can’t help but notice how handsome he is, that smile of his is just beautiful. I half smiled back as he leaves the room. I slip into one of Sam’s nightshirts that she left on the bed for me, and I take the dressing gown from the back of the door and put it on. I then swallow the painkillers he kindly gave me.
As I open the door ajar I can hear them talking. “Sam, your friends in a mess. I’ve personally never seen anything like it. She’s got massive abrasions all over her body, eleven in total. She has significant signs of violent rape, strangulation and forceful restrainment. She needs to go to the hospital; those cuts on her back are whip marks, caused by something thick and hard, by the look of it. She needs them fixing properly and I can’t do that here”
“Oh Shit!” Alex pulls Sam into his arms, she’s crying, god I hate it when she cries it’s so sad to see. “Will they heal? I mean, does she need an operation or something?” Her voice is trembling. She’s trying so hard to stifle a sob in her throat.
“From what I can see I’m afraid so. They’re just too wide, and they’ve been left from what I can tell for days to heal by themselves without proper treatment. I’m afraid she could go into septic shock, and inevitably she’ll die”
“Oh god, no!” I watch as her head falls into her hands.
“Baby, don’t cry, everything will be fine. Blake will take care of her... Won’t you, Blake?” Oh, so he is Alex? I didn’t really get a good look at him when he came in; he’s handsome in a muscle clad geeky kind of way. I could be friends with him, he seems really nice.
“I’ll do everything in my power to make sure she makes a full recovery, Sam. I promise you. But it’s going to be a long, slow and painful process” Blake lifts her head and winks at her. I don’t know if I’m losing my mind, but I feel like I’m not here, my body feels like it’s somewhere in next week. Hospital? Me? I don’t think so; I can’t believe I’ve caused all this misery for everyone I’m such a selfish person. Christ, I need my pills! I’ve been a schizophrenia sufferer for a few years now, and taking my pills on time isn’t something I like to do! But being with Elijah I didn’t have a choice, he would never put up with my craziness. He made sure from day one that I took my pills every day on time, because if I showed any signs of slipping he would drag me off to my psychiatrist. I may have brought my pills with me, but I don’t have enough to last me very long. I guess I could ask Sam to fill my prescription for me, it’s not like she hasn’t done it before. Plus, it’s not like she will put up with me refusing to take them either. I suppose it’s a good thing, at least it stops me from slipping into madness. A place I thoroughly hate to be, but a place I know very well!
“Will she have scars?” What’s this the voice inside my head telling me “Oh yeah bitch you’re going to scar bad. No-one is ever going to want to touch you again. They’ll take one look at you and run a mile” She’s right and I know deep down that was his intention, that should I ever cheat on him again, which I didn’t do, but should I, then no one would touch me because I’m hideous.
“Initially, yes, I’m afraid she will. But over time the smaller scars will become less noticeable” I close the door and lay down on my bed, my heads throbbing and so is my body, and I quickly sink into a dreamless sleep...
~ ~ ~
I wake with a start, it not registering where I am at first. I blink rapidly as the sun blazes through the open window in the room. I don’t remember opening that, I guess Sam did to let some air in the room. I’m grateful as the cool breeze soothes my aching head. I climb out of bed and walk into the living room, it’s deserted. I slide onto the couch; my back doesn’t seem to smart as much as yesterday, I’m guessing because all of the gunk’s been removed or some of it at least. I look at the clock, it’s 7.30am and I feel wide awake. I suddenly realize I don’t have any clean clothes here. “Guess I’ll have to borrow something of Sam’s to wear” I say quietly to myself.
“You could always come home” I turn my head quick time in the direction of him.
Oh, god!
My eyes dart wide open. He’s here sitting at Sam’s table! His left ankle resting on his right knee, eying me as if I’m a wild animal he’s just caught in his trap. How the hell did he get in here? Why didn’t I see him there when I walked in here? Because it’s obvious he’s been there longer than I’ve been sitting here! “Elijah” My voice is less than a whisper, and my mouths as dry as a one hundred year old bone!
Slowly he rises from his seat and walks over to me, I’m frozen to the spot and in my head, I’m begging for him to not start anything here. He sits next to me, his eyes still on mine, and my hearts literally in my mouth. I want to shout for Sam, but I can’t, I’m struck dumb! His fingers trace the outline of my jaw and my eyes close on me momentarily.
“You didn’t come home last night as instructed”
“No, and she won’t be coming home ever again!” Oh, thank you, thank you lord!
“Samantha” Elijah’s voice is full of contempt as he gets out of his seat and walks around the couch and back toward the table. There’s never been any love lost between Sam and Elijah, they’ve literally never gotten on, and even less since I got with him! “Why do you say that?”
“Because dick weed, I’ve seen the fucking damage you’ve done to her body, God only knows the damage you’ve done to her mind!” Her hands form a fist at her hips, his eyes shoot wide open as if he can’t believe she’s saying this, or maybe he can’t believe I told her, let alone shown her what he did. I can’t look at him even though I know his eyes are on me, I can feel them burning a hole into the back of my skull. “Now get out of my house, you’re not welcome here!”
“Maybe you should let Mercedes decide for herself. I’m sure she knows what she wants by now, Samantha”
“Let her decide? Are you actually fucking crazy? You’ve fucked her mind, Elijah. You’ve twisted it into something unrecognizable. The beautiful strong minded girl I once knew is gone. You’ve destroyed her, there’s nothing left, don’t you see that?!”
“Mercedes, come, we're leaving” He motions me to come to him.
“Oh no you don’t” Sam practically runs to me and stands in front of me so I can’t move. “She’s going nowhere with you, I don’t give a fuck who you think you are, Elijah! She’s got to have surgery because of you, because you left her like this without treatment! You don’t love her, Elijah, let her go”
He looks at her as if he does not fully understand what she’s talking about. “Don’t tell me I don’t love her! How the fu
ck would you know how I feel?!” He’s so damn angry! Oh god! What if he hurts Sam? And how can he pretend he’s ever loved me, when he’s getting married to someone else! All I am to him is the same thing I’ve always been to every other man, a game, something for them to play with! My father is right, that’s all I’m ever going to be to anyone.
Sam drags me from my seat by my arm and turns me to face her, grabbing the hem of my night shirt she pulls it up. “This Elijah, this is how I know you don’t fucking love her. All of these fucking dressings covering the disgusting marks you left on her, that’s how I know you don’t love her!” Oh god! Ground, swallow me now! She lets me go and I sit back down as quickly as I can, not wanting to be here at all but not able to escape either.
They say nothing for seconds, minutes. I don’t know where from but... “What about Ava?” I ask in a whisper.
“What?”
“Eh, who the fuck is Ava?” Sam’s voice is malicious toward him.
“Ava, Elijah. What about her?” My voice louder. I turn to face him as I cut off her question. “You know long legs, blonde hair, real pretty, the girl you’re marrying in two weeks” His eyes dart open in shock. Sam’s eyes dart wide open in shock also, but she doesn’t say anything. “I met her yesterday, she told me all about your relationship. When were you going to tell me about her, Elijah? When were you going to tell her about me and the fact you’ve been cheating on her for two and a half years? Before you eventually killed me? Or were you just going to keep seeing us both in hopes neither of us found out about the other?” I’m vaguely aware that Alex and Blake have walked into the room; awakened by the shouting Sam’s been doing, no doubt. I didn’t even know Blake stayed over! I get up out of my seat even though I feel a little unsteady on my feet.
