by Naomi Niles
I headed into the separate reception area and asked for a double room for the night. The man sitting behind the counter took my cash and handed me the keys to Room 215 without once looking up at me. I thanked him anyway, got Victor out from the SUV and headed to our room, which turned out to be a shoebox with a television that looked like it had been plucked out of the 1960s.
“Sit down,” I said to Victor.
He did as I instructed, wringing his hands together the whole time, as though he didn’t quite know what to do with them.
“Madison?” Victor’s voice was low and childlike.
“Yes?”
“What will happen to me?”
The question nearly broke my heart. I sat down next to him on the single bed and put my arm around him. “Just breathe,” I said, because it was advice I needed to take too. “Breath and stop thinking.”
“I can’t… I can’t stop thinking,” he said, his voice breaking on the last word. “All I can see is the image of Kameron falling. All I can hear is the sound of the gunshot.”
I stared at his bereaved face, and I hated looking at him like that. “Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?” I said. I tried to keep my voice as calm and as unaffected as possible.
I went into the bathroom. It was small and dingy, just as I had expected, but I was past caring about the state of our accommodation. There was a small bowl in one of the cabinets. I washed it out and filled it with fresh water. Then I grabbed the sickly yellow towel in the corner and headed back into the bedroom.
I washed Victor’s face, doing my best to remove all the dried blood. The bruising was more prominent once his face was clean, but at least it was a start. The whole time I cleaned him up, I hummed under my breath, trying to keep him distracted.
I realized halfway through that I was also trying to distract myself. It bothered me that Peter still hadn’t tried to get in contact with me.
I had no idea what his plan was. I didn’t know if he even had a plan. Maybe it was foolish of me to have trusted him so completely, but I hadn’t been in a position to think clearly at the time. Now, when I looked back on those moments, I realized that Peter had never made any promises to me. He hadn’t said he was going to turn Victor in, but he hadn’t said that he was going to protect him, either.
At the end of the day, Peter was a police officer. And a crime had been committed right in front of him. I knew it was his ethical and moral obligation to report the crime, but I hoped for my sake – and for Victor’s – that Peter’s affection for me was greater than his job. It was selfish of me, but I couldn’t deny that that was how I felt.
It didn’t matter either way. I knew I was going to stick by Victor no matter what. If Peter called me up and told me that he had decided to turn Victor in, then I would run with my brother. And if Peter called and said that he’d covered up Victor’s crime, then I would still stick with Victor and make sure he changed his lifestyle once and for all.
“Do you remember the time you broke your arm?” Victor asked abruptly.
“What?” I asked.
“The time you broke your arm,” he repeated. “Do you remember it?”
“Vaguely,” I nodded as little bubbles of the memory came back to me.
“Mom was getting high in the apartment with one of her new boyfriends that day,” Victor said. “And she was getting pissed off with the two of us because you kept running around and I kept screaming. She told us to go and play on the street and to come back in a few hours.”
“I don’t remember all that,” I said. “And frankly, I’m glad I don’t.”
“We walked to the park,” he continued. “If you could even call it that. It was a shitty dump of a place that was reserved for drug deals and poor kids. But they did have this tree…”
“I remember the tree,” I nodded, sitting down beside Victor.
“You wanted to climb it.”
I nodded. “I honestly thought that if I got that high and flapped my hands really hard, I’d be able to fly like birds did. I thought my reasoning was sound.”
“I told you it was impossible for a person to fly.”
“But I wouldn’t listen.”
“So, I told you to go ahead and see for yourself,” Victor nodded. “I thought I was teaching you a lesson. I thought I was being a wise older brother. You struggled for ten minutes, but you finally got up there. I watched as you leapt off the largest branch and it was only as you were falling that I realized I never should have let you go up there in the first place.”
“I don’t remember it quite like that,” I admitted.
“You wouldn’t,” he sighed. “You were only four.”
“Victor,” I said gently. “Why are you reliving this story?”
“Because it’s more proof that I was a shitty older brother who never looked out for you,” he replied in a deadpan voice.
“Don’t say that-”
“It’s true,” he said, cutting me off. “I should have been better to you. I should have done better. I should have known how to take care of you.”
“You were a kid,” I said. “You were a kid who had been abandoned by your father and neglected by your mother. They were drug addicts, alcoholics, and petty thieves. How could you have known how to take care of me when you were never taken care of yourself?”
“You were a kid, too,” Victor said quietly. “You had the same parents I did. And yet somehow…you knew things, you behaved differently.
“Don’t you see, Madison? It’s not about how you were raised and it’s not about the example that’s set before you. It’s about the kind of person you are. You were the better man, always. And me? I was… I am like them.”
“No, you’re not,” I said firmly, recoiling against his words. “You are nothing like them.”
“I didn’t learn from their mistakes, Madison,” he sighed. “I just repeated them. As much as I hated them, in the end, I was no better than Mom or Dad.”
“Yes, you are,” I said fiercely. “And do you know why?”
“Why?” he asked tiredly.
“Because you never left me,” I said. “You never left me like they did.”
He smiled. “Don’t you see, Madison?” he asked. “You’ve got it all wrong. It never had anything to do with me. You were the one that never left. You were the one who followed me everywhere. You were the one that never abandoned me – even when you should have.”
We sat there, holding hands and feeling the shared pain of our childhood. I could barely remember my mother’s face anymore. She was a blur of features that changed day by day.
“Do you think about Mom ever?” I asked.
“No,” Victor said, a little too quickly. “Yes,” he answered after a moment’s hesitation. “All the time. She still has four years left on her sentence.”
“Do you think she’ll try and get in contact with us when and if she’s released?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Would you speak to her if she does?”
I hesitated, my mind veering rapidly between yes and no. “Honestly… I can’t even begin to make that decision now. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Though, I’d prefer never coming to it in the first place.”
He squeezed my hand, and I knew that he understood. That decision was left up to the future and the person I would be in that moment. I could feel little shivers scale up through Victor’s body; it was making me shake, too. I knew he was still in shock and tried to think of a way to calm him down. I stroked his head lightly.
“You could use a haircut,” I said. “How about I give you one?”
Victor raised his eyebrows at me, obviously confused by my offer.
“It’ll give me something to do,” I explained.
He nodded.
“I’ll pop out for a bit and get us some food,” I said. “I can buy scissors when I’m out.”
“Come back soon,” he said.
“I will,” I nodded, kissing the top of his head before I left the
room.
“Madison?” he called, just as I had opened the door to leave.
“Yes?” I said, turning back.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but… I’m incredibly proud of you,” he said.
I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes. “Thank you, big brother,” I said, before I closed the door behind me.
I had to drive someplace that was open twenty-four hours, but I managed to find a convenience store about ten minutes away. I walked down the aisles getting what I thought was necessary. But every five minutes, I kept checking my phone. Peter still hadn’t called me; I wondered if that was a good sign or a bad one.
My life had shifted for the second time in weeks, and this time, I felt no relief and no sense of freedom. I forced myself to face the fact that I might never see Peter again, that I might never again feel that warm comfort of domestic bliss. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to hold onto the last few weeks with him, all the while knowing it would never be enough.
Chapter Thirty-One
Peter
It was strange to be sitting in the station on the wrong side of the desk. I stared around at the walls of my second home and suddenly, it didn’t seem quite so familiar as it had. I wrung my hands together, remembering to keep my resolve, remembering to make the decision that I could best live with.
“Peter,” Chief Hunstable said as he walked back into the office. He was an impressive man, with ebony skin and a big boned figure.
“Chief,” I said, rising to my feet in respect.
“Sit, sit,” the chief said quickly. “I filed the report, but I still need you to sign the statement paperwork.”
“Of course,” I nodded. I knew this drill; I had just never been on the receiving end of it.
Chief Hunstable pushed the papers towards me. “All the details you made in this report, they are accurate?”
I felt a prick at my conscience; I felt my stomach lurch forward. Was I doing the right thing? I had gone too far to turn back now. “Of course,” I nodded, before there was room for a hesitation before my answer.
“Good,” Chief Hunstable nodded. “Then it’s done.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“You were lucky to avoid being shot tonight.”
“I’m very aware of that,” I nodded, as I rose. “I’ll see you at work next week.”
“Peter,” he said. “I think that’s a little premature. We need to get this investigation closed before you can come back to work.”
I sighed. “I suppose I’m not surprised.”
“I’m putting you on administrative leave until all this can be settled.”
“Yes, Chief,” I nodded.
“And, we will need to speak to the girl…your neighbor… What’s her name?”
“Madison Wright,” I said shakily.
“You said she was out of town?”
“Yes,” I nodded. “It’s all in the paperwork.”
“The department’s tried calling her a couple of times. No answer.”
I gulped. “She’s probably just away from her phone. She’s expected back in town tomorrow.”
Chief nodded. “Do we have an identity confirmation on the gunman?”
“They’re looking into it now,” I replied.
“Good,” he nodded. “Once this is all cleared up, you can get back to work immediately.”
“I look forward to it,” I said fervently.
“We all do,” Chief replied. “You’ve been missed.”
I smiled, gratified by his words. “Thank you, Sir.”
We shook hands and I left the chief’s office. The moment I stepped out of the police station, I felt another little prick of guilt, but I pushed it down and continued to my car. I spent the drive home in a fog of thought and before I knew it, I was pulling up in front of the house.
Lights were everywhere. Madison’s house was cordoned off by police tape. A number of different officers milled around, collecting evidence and taking pictures of the scene. I turned to my own front porch and saw Sam and John seated outside, staring over at Madison’s house.
I got out of the car and walked towards them. Sam and John approached me immediately. “What the hell happened?” John demanded, his eyes wide with alarm.
“We tried calling you like a hundred times.”
“My phone died,” I sighed. “I didn’t get any calls.”
“Are you all right?” John asked.
“I’m okay,” I said. “I think.”
I saw John and Sam exchange a glance. “We came home to find the place swarming with cops and Madison’s dog was in the house, cowering under the dining room table,” John said. “Peter, what the hell is going on?”
“It’s a long story,” I replied. “And, I don’t think I want to go into it tonight.”
“Where’s Madison?” Sam asked, ignoring my request.
“Where’s Talen?” I asked, noticing that he was not with them. “I thought you guys were going to watch a movie together.”
“We did,” Sam said. “And afterwards, Talen said goodbye and went off to his place. I was just going to drop off John and head home myself when we came upon this scene.”
“Oh.”
“Peter?” John’s voice was calm and soothing. He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed, the pressure felt good, but it also made me realize that I was a little shaky on my feet.
“Yes?”
“Where is Madison?”
“I don’t know,” I replied. “It doesn’t matter.”
“What do you mean?” Sam demanded. “What do you mean you don’t know? What do you mean, it doesn’t matter?”
I sighed. “She’s gone,” I said. “And, I think I need to sit down now.”
Sam was about to ask another question, but John held up his hand to silence him. “Peter, do you need anything…some water maybe?” John asked.
“Some water would be good,” I nodded.
“Sam,” John said. “Can you get Peter some water, please.”
Sam shot John an annoyed look, but did as he was told. John didn’t say anything while Sam was gone. He just watched me carefully, and I could tell he had gone into doctor mode. Sam came back and shoved a glass of water in my face. I accepted it gratefully and downed the glass in one shot.
“Would you like some more water?” John asked.
“No, thank you,” I replied.
I set the glass down on the porch and looked up at my brothers. “I have a favor to ask of you,” I said. “Of both of you.”
“Okay?” Sam said, as John nodded.
“If anyone comes over here to talk to you about Madison, say that she was out of town.”
“Even though she wasn’t?” John asked.
“Even though she wasn’t,” I nodded.
A sound caught my attention. “Is that whining?” I asked.
“It’s the dog,” Sam replied. “He’s been doing that since we got home.”
I got up and walked inside. Polo was hiding under the dining table. His brown eyes were filled with uncertainty and fear, and his body was shivering ever so slightly. I bent down so that I was at eye level with him and stretched my hand out.
“It’s okay, boy,” I said gently. “Everything’s okay. Come out now.”
Polo looked at my uncertain, but I could tell he was longing for some comfort. I waited patiently until he was ready to come out and then I lifted him up in my arms. He was heavier than I expected, but I liked the feeling of having something to hold on to. I heard hushed voices out on the porch and knew that Sam and John were talking about me.
I slipped a little closer and strained my ears to better hear their words. John sounded concerned and Sam was indignant with curiosity.
“What do you think happened?” Sam asked.
“I don’t know,” John replied, in his calm voice.
“It looks bad, John.”
“I know.”
“There was a dead body in Madison’s house.”
&
nbsp; “I know,” John replied softly. “It was a man’s body, though.”
“And, Madison’s not here,” Sam said. “Peter said she was gone…and he also told us to lie to the police.”
“I know.”
“You know what it looks like, don’t you?” Sam asked.
“Yes.”
Sam fell silent for a moment. “Peter has never bent the rules,” he said, after a long pause. “He’s always been extremely ethical.”
“I know.”
“But he cares about Madison,” Sam continued. “He may even love her.”
“Yes.”
“Then why is she not here?” Sam demanded. “If he had protected her, she should still be here.”
“Sam,” John said bracingly. “Don’t ask Peter any more questions tonight.”
“But-”
“He’s in shock.”
“How can you tell?”
“I just can,” John insisted. “He needs time to recover, to get his thoughts together and to process what just happened – whatever it was that happened.”
“I checked his eyes,” Sam said. “He wasn’t in shock.”
“Not that way,” John said. “I mean his mind is in shock. He’s reeling from that happened tonight. He’s had to make a decision that he’s not altogether comfortable with.”
“You mean, he turned Madison in?”
“I don’t know,” John said. “No more questions tonight okay?”
“Okay,” Sam agreed.
I walked into my bedroom and shut the door. Then I set Polo down and got into bed. Immediately, the dog jumped onto my bed and snuggled in next to me, as though he had already substituted me for Madison. Every time there was a noise, however, he lifted his head up as though he were looking for her.
“I have to call Madison,” I said aloud. I pulled out my phone, but it was still dead. I hooked it up to charge and was forced to wait for enough power to infuse into it before I could make a call or send a text. Polo was looking at me as though I had all the answers. At the moment, I wasn’t sure I was capable of giving any of the right ones.
“I remember when I took the oath to become a police officer,” I said, looking at Polo. “I was so young, too young to know anything about life, really. I had these idealistic views about serving, and for the most part, those idealistic views have served me well. Tell the truth, never bend the rules, do the right thing. That’s the code I believe in. That’s the code I’ve always followed.”
