by Zhou Daxin
Nuannuan kept sipping her tea and mindlessly answered Zhankun as she waited. She was waiting for closure. She did not care what the result would be. It was almost midday when Kaitian casually walked by from a distance. Nuannuan did not move. She watched him taking the keys to open the courtyard gate. She was feeling quite nervous: will Youyou come? Deep inside she had hoped that Youyou would not show up and that her suspicion was groundless. To her disappointment, it did not take long for Youyou to emerge. The first sight of her made Nuannuan’s heart sink. She felt an oppression caused by anxiety and anger in her chest.
Nuannuan wanted to pay but Zhankun refused to take the money, so she did not insist and left for the village committee. Feeling her body shaking, she silently spoke to herself: “What are you afraid of? It’s not you who made a mistake. You can’t run away from the truth!”
She quietly walked towards the door that had “the Leader” written on it as she took the key that she had someone make earlier. She carefully pushed the door and made sure that it was locked. She opened the door so quickly that anyone trying to hide something inside would not have the time to react. She yanked the door open with a loud noise and saw what she had expected to see. She was surprised by how calm she was: she did not rush over to tear the two apart. Instead, she stood by the door and sneered. The two in the bed were stunned. Youyou even kept her two legs straight up pointing to the roof. It took them a while to react and reach for their clothes. They were so embarrassed that they could not put the clothes on properly.
“Imbeciles!” Nuannuan spat on the floor in disgust.
“Sister Nuannuan, I …” Youyou wanted to explain, her voice sounded like she was weeping.
“Get out!” Nuannuan shouted out in anger.
Youyou almost fell down when she rushed outside.
“Kuang Kaitian, what do you have to say about this?” asked Nuannuan, her teeth clenching.
“What do you want me to say? You have seen everything.” Kaitian had put on his clothes, he did not look ashamed or nervous.
“Don’t you remember our wedding vows?”
Kaitian scratched his head and seemed deep in thought.
“Did you forget?” Nuannuan’s eyes were spitting fire.
“How many birthdays has our son had? Those words are too old to remember.” Kaitian wanted to laugh at his joke, but he couldn’t even put up a smile due to the shock of being caught.
“You are a pig! You bastard!” Nuannuan could not endure anymore. She picked up a broom behind the door and threw it at Kaitian.
Kaitian ducked. The broom hit the wall and made a loud noise.
“You swore that you will take care of me for a lifetime, and that you won’t even look at another woman. You …” Nuannuan choked in sorrow.
“Mr. Xue told me everything. He said an affair is nothing new in the city! He also said that we are living in an age of passion …”
“Bullshit!”
“Seriously, he told me that powerful men in the city all keep their own lovers!”
“So you want to learn from them! Will you eat shit if they do? You bastard!”
Nuannuan picked up a washing basin behind the wall and threw it at Kaitian. The basin ended up on the floor and kept making a banging noise.
“Speak! What do you want now?”
“What else? I won’t see Youyou again.”
“Just like that?” Nuannuan stepped up.
“What else do you want from me?” Kaitian shrugged.
“I want a divorce! You have put shame on my face and you want me to keep living with you? No way!” Nuannuan turned to leave.
“Don’t you threaten me with divorce. I am not the only one that betrayed the marriage!” Kaitian raised his voice.
Nuannuan suddenly turned back: “What do you want to say? Who betrayed the marriage?”
“You know who I’m talking about.” Kaitian did not look at her.
“Why don’t you just say the name? Kuang Kaitian, let’s all be clear about it!” Nuannuan rushed in front of Kaitian. “Who betrayed the marriage?”
“You did! There! You made me say it!”
“What did I do to betray the marriage? Speak! If you can’t make your case, I will call everyone in the village and we shall continue this in front of them all!”
“Do you think you have put honour on your ancestors by sleeping with Zhan Shideng? Do you think I should reward you for doing that? Didn’t you put shame on my face? Don’t you play the virtuous wife in front of me! I did not do anything to you that you don’t deserve! Now we are even!”
“You! That bastard Zhan Shideng! You bastard!” Nuannuan wanted to hit Kaitian, but she could not catch her breath. She was overtaken by a spell of dizziness. Before she could move, she suddenly dropped down …
Chapter 46
Nuannuan woke up. She was lying in bed at home. Her mother-in-law was looking at her sympathetically. Dangen was sitting beside the headboard of the bed, his eyes filled with tears. The old Doctor Mei from the Mei’s Pharmacy was taking her pulse. Shallot, wife of Spotty Laosi, and Huiyu, were standing in the room. Nuannuan blinked. It took her a while to remember what had happened in the of office the village committee; and the thought brought her to tears.
“She was in temporary shock due to overbearing sorrow. Some rest will help her calm down and get better. I wouldn’t recommend any medicine,” said old Dr. Mei as he stood up.
Kaitian’s mother cried out for her son: “Kaitian, come and see your uncle Mei off!”
Hearing his name, Nuannuan closed her eyes. She had no intention to see him again; even the sound of his name put her to despair.
Shallot stepped up and wiped Nuannuan’s tears away with her handkerchief. Though confused of the situation, Shallot knew that something serious must have happened, and that something must have had to do with Kaitian; otherwise Nuannuan would not be so upset.
“Nuannuan, you must eat. You haven’t even had your dinner yet.”
Nuannuan shook her head and turned to face the wall. She spoke in a weep: “You should go home.”
Shallot and Huiyu looked at each other and walked out in silence. Her mother-in-law stood in the room for a while, since Nuannuan did not speak, she only tucked her in and said: “Dangen’s mom, sleep some more.”
She left with Dangen.
Seeing the room empty, Nuannuan struggled up and started looking for her clothes in the closet next to the bed. Her mother-in-law heard the sound from the room and hurried inside. She said to Nuannuan: “Nuannuan, lie down and take some rest. I can find your clothes for you. Tell me which one you want to wear.”
Nuannuan answered: “Mom, I am not getting changed. I am going to my parents’ home. I can’t live another day with your son. I am divorcing him!”
“My child! What nonsense are you talking about? What divorce? What happened between you two? Tell your mom, I am on your side!”
“You should ask him. He knows best of what he has done!”
“Kaitian, come inside!” Kaitian’s mother turned and shouted out.
It took a while for Kaitian to slowly walk inside in the steps of an old gentleman’s in Chinese Opera. With a cigarette in his hand, Kaitian seemed relaxed and calm.
“What have you done again to upset Nuannuan?” Kaitian’s mother stared at her son and asked.
Kaitian seemed quite unhappy. He snapped the cigarette off on the table with his fingers, making a loud noise. Afterwards, he threw the cigarette to the corner of the wall and squinted at Nuannuan as he spoke: “What is this? Are you not done?”
Nuannuan did not say anything. She only gripped the clothes under her arm and used all her force to get out of bed. She stumbled towards the door. Her mother-in-law ran up and held her: “Nuannuan, calm down! Kaitian, are you blind? Come here and help Nuannuan!”
But Kaitian did not move. He crossed his arms and stood there. He made sure that his glance did not fall upon Nuannuan. Dangen walked in with a glass of water. Seeing his mother leaving,
he dropped the glass on the floor and ran to grab his mother’s leg. He cried out: “Mom! I am not leaving you!”
“Mom, don’t stop me. You won’t stop me,” said Nuannuan in a calm voice. “I will divorce your son, and it is for his own good. He can’t live with Youyou until I divorce him. How difficult his life is, having to sneak around with his affair!”
“What? Youyou?” The old woman was in shock. “Kaitian, is it true? How dare you do this, entangled with that Youyou? Oh my! Everyone in the village will feel ashamed of you! You imbecile!”
“Let it out! Keep yelling!” Kaitian stamped his feet and turned to the door. Suddenly he stopped. His father Kuang Kaigu was standing outside the door with his walking sticks.
“Dad, you?”
Kuang Kaigu looked cold as ice. Ignoring his son, he struggled inside and asked Nuannuan: “Dangen’s mom, life in this house has just got good, and you must not ask for trouble, or our neighbours will laugh. You talked about the affair between Kaitian and Youyou — did you hear of it from someone’s gossip or did you make a wild guess? How can you believe in such a thing?”
“I did not hear any gossip or make any guess. I saw it with my own eyes in the village committee office. I caught them in bed. Why don’t you ask him if it’s true?”
Kaitian’s father turned his gaze to his son; he did not ask anything. Kaitian did not look back at his father. He kept staring at a spider’s web in the corner of the wall.
With a small noise, the old man suddenly threw one of his walking sticks to his son. The hit was too heavy and sudden to avoid; Kaitian fell to the floor. At the same time, the old man was falling down on his face due to exhaustion. Kaitian’s mother could not react and burst into tears with her hands in the air. But eventually, she chose to help her husband. Dangen started crying loudly as well; he clutched tighter to his mother’s leg.
Kaitian quickly stood up and walked outside as his mother was crying.
As a result, Nuannuan did not leave as she planned. Seeing her in-laws in despair, she could not leave them. She knew that they would fall ill if she left. Moreover, she had Dangen. The boy held tight to her leg and pushed her towards the bed. He gazed at her with his eyes full of tears, not letting her go anywhere. She stood in the room for a short while. Then, she sighed and sat down on the bed behind her, feeling exhausted …
The next day Nuannuan stayed in bed for the whole day in deep thought. Should I divorce him? Should I leave? She kept asking herself these questions. The thought of leaving this courtyard, every corner of which she had grown so familiar with, and this home that she had spared no effort in looking after since her wedding, had made her heart ache. Should she stay patient? Maybe he would stop seeing Youyou. If so, then she would forgive him and they could live their life. The third morning, Nuannuan, extremely tired, finally made up her mind: she will suspend the divorce and see what happens. Kaitian did not come home for the next few days that followed. The wife of Spotty Laosi said that he had been staying in the office of Shang Xin Yuan. Nuannuan thought to herself: don’t come home; we’ll see how long you can stay in the office. Nuannuan believed that Kaitian had been thinking of a solution. Again she thought to herself: Think, and we will see what you have to offer!
Kaitian returned home one evening after dinner when Nuannuan was washing the dishes in the kitchen. He did not say anything and walked straight into the bedroom. His mother glared at him; but he did not say a word. When Nuannuan went inside after working in the kitchen, he had already been in bed. Nuannuan stood beside the bed for a long time. The sight of Kaitian lying in bed facing the wall gave her the desire to storm out. However, despite several attempts, she could not move even one step. Eventually, she quietly sighed to herself and turned off the light. She went to lie in bed; but she made sure that their bodies did not touch.
Life in the Kuang’s house went back to normal after that night.
Nuannuan kept herself busy in Chu Di Ju every day as usual, yet she was always keeping an eye on Kaitian and Youyou. To her comfort, Youyou had quit her role in the performance of Shang Xin Yuan and went to work in Nanfu with her husband. It was by then that Nuannuan had slowly started feeling assured and found her mood back to normal.
Several days had passed and Kaitian brought back a blouse to Nuannuan when he returned from a meeting in the town office. Neither the style nor the colour of the blouse was of Nuannuan’s taste, but she put it on to show her gratitude, knowing that it was a gesture of Kaitian’s willingness to reconcile. It had also reminded her of her excitement of getting the blouse he gave her shortly after their wedding. Nuannuan thought to herself: the world had been different.
Chapter 47
The Red Lake was at the peak of its beauty in the middle of spring: all the flowers were blossoming, the grass had grown to a proper height, the trees had covered themselves with fresh green, the birds had started singing, the butterflies were flying around, the bees busy working, the dragonflies flying through clusters of reeds, the grasshoppers jumping on top of the leaves, the ladybugs dancing, and the frogs croaking all night long …
Dangen woke up and asked his mother to take him to see the frogs by the side of the lake. Nuannuan made a light-hearted promise because she wanted him to quickly put on his clothes. However, after breakfast, Dangen gripped her hand and insisted on going to the lakeside. Nuannuan had no choice but follow him after she spoke to Shallot about work for the morning. She thought to herself as she walked: I was too busy to play with my son; this morning should be my break from work and we shall have good fun.
Scared of accidents, Nuannuan had given an “ultimatum” to Dangen: “Without an adult watching you, you must never go play by the lakeside, or I will whip your bottom with a cane!”
Dangen, who rarely had the opportunity to play next to the Red Lake, jumped up and cried in excitement like a foal seeing a meadow for the first time.
“What are you laughing about?”
Hearing her mother’s voice, Nuannuan turned and saw Mom standing behind them with Grandma. Nuannuan was surprised and hastened to take Dangen to them. She asked: “What are you two doing here?”
Mom spoke with a smile: “Grandma is missing Grandpa today and she insisted on coming here to burn some paper money in front of his tomb. I can’t let her go out on her own.”
Nuannuan said to Dangen: “Come and greet your great grandma!”
Dangen looked at Grandma and fell silent for a short while, feeling shy. Then, he spoke up: “Great grandma.”
Hearing this, Grandma smiled and Nuannuan could see that she had lost another tooth. She said: “Good, good. I have lived to the day to see four generations together in this family. Even if I die, I know that I will have a great grandson burning paper money at my tomb. And I shall be satisfied!”
“Don’t talk about inauspicious things! Dangen will want you to attend his wedding and you will hold his baby in your arms!” Nuannuan stepped out to support Grandma and called out at Dangen. “Come here to hold your great grandma and we will all go to burn paper money for your great grandpa.”
Grandma sat down in front of Grandpa’s tomb. She looked at the ashes and smoke from the paper money and lightly padded down the soil on top of the tomb. Mom stood aside silently with Dangen in her arms. It was very quiet and they could hear the sound of the waves in the lake as if it was breathing. Nuannuan looked at Grandma’s half-closed eyes; it was her own way of communicating with Grandpa. Years had gone past after Grandpa’s death, yet Grandma would still walk all the way in her small steps to see him. They must have had a wonderful relationship, with both deeply in love. Nuannuan tried to imagine a young Grandma walking on the bank of the Red Lake with a young Grandpa, but she could not see clearly. Kaitian and herself would be old one day. If she were to leave the world before Kaitian, will he come see her at her tomb? The thought made Nuannuan shiver: maybe people today do not know how to love like they used to do …
On their way home, Nuannuan could not help but ask Grandma: �
�Was Grandpa good to you?”
Grandma seemed to have laughed: “Your grandpa had a bad temper, and the smallest thing will set him to yell at me. But he had a good heart and he cared for me. We weren’t a rich couple, but each of us know how to take care of each other.”
“Had Grandpa ever … done something behind your back?”
“Done what?” Grandma turned to look at Nuannuan.
“Had he ever had an affair with another woman?” It took all her courage to ask this question.
“You silly girl! How can you ask Grandma such a question?” Mom, who was walking by the side, glared at Nuannuan. “Do you want to upset your grandma?”
“Of course she can ask. What are you afraid of?” Grandma was still smiling. “As far as I know, your grandpa had never done such a thing. To have another woman outside of the family, a man must have some power, some money, some good background, or some idle time. But he had none of that. So how on earth is he going to find another woman? All day long he had to worry about our food and clothing, and his family had been given him so much to worry about that he could not spare any mind, money, emotion or energy to think about anything else. If a family has that kind of problem, then they must have a good life.”
Nuannuan felt enlightened: they do have a good life.
“Why did you ask me this?” It was Grandma’s turn to ask questions.
“Nothing. I was just curious.” Nuannuan did not expect Grandma’s question. Her face went red; she could not hide the anxiety in her eyes.
“Are you worried about Kaitian? I can tell, you are my granddaughter after all. But you do have a reason to worry now that he has some power in hand. Though it’s not big, power is power. I have never played that game before, but I’ve seen others with power. Power is most likely to entangle with women, because it burns like a flame. Not only men love having that flame in their hands, women also fly towards its heat like moths. You should be more careful. I heard from the seniors that power shakes a man’s soul. No matter who you are, power will dazzle you. This is especially the case with Kaitian, who has poor experience with power. You must be careful! Don’t let him forget about who he is.”
