He leaned forward. “Thank you. Tiana and I had been talking about presenting things that would have made the transition to college much easier.”
“Sounds like the exact same thing. Our talks are aimed at high school kids, but I really think this will work for Henry’s kids.”
“I’m sure it will. Thanks again.”
“No, thank you for thinking of it. I’m going up this weekend actually with the librarian I mentioned. We went on a massive book-buying spree. A lot of people donated money instead of books.”
“Great. Do you need any help?”
“No. Matt’s coming with us. He can do all the heavy lifting.”
DeShawn grinned. “Sadie falls in love. Then Josh. Now you, Lena. You look very happy.”
She smiled and hugged herself. “I am happy. You should try this love stuff. It’s not bad.”
“I’m working on it.”
“Tiana?”
That took him aback. He tried to cover it by peeking in the envelope. “What makes you say that?”
“Oh, DeShawn. It’s all over your face when you look at her when she’s not looking.”
He rolled his shoulders in a slow shrug, trying to make it seem like nothing even though some heat was stinging his cheeks.
“Maybe. Maybe not. We’ll see.”
“Just jump in!”
He laughed as he stood. “Who are you? The Lena I knew always had a plan and she stuck to it. Just jump in?”
She came around the desk to walk him to the door. “I learned how fun jumping can be. It was good to see you, DeShawn. You were always my favorite Crew guy.”
“I’ll bet you say that to all the Crew guys.” He tucked the envelope with the flash drive in his pocket. Glanced around the room. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“I have a little money in savings...”
“You want some help with it? No problem. I’m not taking new clients now, but my new partner, Moseley, is.” Lena reached over her desk to pull a business card from the top drawer. “Give her a call and set up an appointment.”
“Thank you. I’m trying to do this whole adult thing.”
She laughed. “Being an adult is no fun. Feel free to stick your tongue out at Francis as you leave.”
“Can I call him Frank instead?”
“Oh, yes. Wait. I want to listen at the door.”
He stepped through the door and turned to wave. “Thanks again, Lena.” As he walked to the front door, he lifted a hand. “Thanks, Frank!”
* * *
BEING BACK IN the Cleaning Crew office for Friday dinner was bittersweet. He’d had just enough time to get from Lena’s office to home to change clothes and make it to the Crew office in enough time to keep Molly from nagging him about being late. It was good to be back with Sadie and Molly mothering him. DeShawn looked around the conference room and the people who had been a huge influence on him. Their guidance and friendship had taken him from a slightly overwhelmed college freshman to the man he was today.
“Feels weird, huh?” Malik said.
“It does. I only know a couple of the guys now.”
“Aaron was here last month.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Great. Just started grad school. Something science-y.”
“Science-y? And you’re in doctor school?” DeShawn said with a laugh.
“Go play with your protractor, math nerd.”
“Nice to see things never change,” Sadie said as she leaned between them. “Be nice. You aren’t setting a good example for the Baby Crew.”
DeShawn snorted out another laugh. The new guys did all look about twelve years old. He caught Sadie’s hand. “Can I talk to you later?”
She squeezed his hand. “You can talk to me anytime.”
“What’s up?” Malik asked as Sadie moved away. “You okay, brother?”
“Yeah. My mother called me. I’m not sure what I want to do about it.”
Malik made a face. He knew the whole ugly truth. “That’s a hard decision. I’m here for you, DeShawn. Anything you need.”
Molly leaned in to place a huge steaming platter of pot roast on the table. “What he needs, Malik, is to eat some food. Wasting away to nothing. And a kitten.”
“I’m not taking a flea-ridden hair-and-poop machine.”
“I want a kitten. What kind are they?” Malik asked.
Molly kissed his forehead. “You were always a man of fine taste and distinction, Malik.”
DeShawn lifted his middle finger when Molly walked away. They both began laughing. DeShawn felt insanely happy and content as he dug into the melt-in-your-mouth roast. Good friends, possibility of a serious relationship with Tiana, good job. Stay the course. Pay off those student loans. Look for a small house or condo to buy. Put down roots. Once and for all, he needed to get this situation with his mother settled. He watched as Sadie circled the table, fussing over her guys. He’d been working here still when her half brother found her and she faced down her own mother, who had abandoned her to a childhood in foster homes. She’d never really talked about it with the guys but they all knew how hard it had been for her.
You have that strength, man?
He grabbed a dinner roll as the basket came around the table. The conversation seemed to dim around him. Did he have the strength? That he didn’t know. Every time he tried to picture anything having to do with confronting his mom, the anger would begin to rise and he’d shut it down. Put it back in that box he kept in the darkest corner of his mind.
“Hello? Earth to DeShawn!”
He blinked and looked around. Malik looked at him with a frown. “You okay, man?”
“Yeah. Thinking.”
“You aren’t supposed to be thinking—you need to be eating,” Sadie said. “You’re so skinny Marcus Canard wouldn’t hire you.”
That made him laugh. Canard was the evil villain to Sadie’s superheroine. “Is he still in business?”
“Barely,” Sadie said with a delicate sniff, “but that’s none of my concern.” She raised her hand casually pointing to another Best of Charleston award on the wall.
That got Malik going. The party for the winners of the prestigious local award was always amazing, but for the Crew members who attended to collect the first award, it had been epic.
Malik waved at the newer guys. “You don’t even know. That was a party like nothing we’d ever seen before! Complete freak show, in the best possible way. You had lawyers, doctors, artists, drag queens, bartenders, us and everything in between. It was at the aquarium.” He point at DeShawn with a thumb. “This guy. We’re not three steps inside and he’s screaming like a little girl.”
DeShawn laughed. “Dude. They were serving sushi in front of the fish tanks! The fish were horrified.”
“Oh my God! Don’t eat Bob!” they both yelled in unison.
And God, it felt good to laugh like this. To laugh over old memories with a good friend. His mother slipped from his mind again. He couldn’t agonize over that all the time. He deserved to be happy.
The new Crew listened to Malik’s stories with riveted awe while Sadie pretended to look humble. DeShawn shook his head. It felt so good, laughing here with his friends. For a moment, all his worries and doubts slipped away. He felt at home.
* * *
“THAT WAS JUST what I needed,” DeShawn said as he settled on the couch next to Sadie in her living quarters above the office. “To be back with you guys. I saw Lena this afternoon.”
“Really? Where?”
“I stopped by her office to touch base with her about that project I’m doing with Henry.”
“Does she still have that snotty new guy receptionist who looks at you like you’re a dog turd drug in on some
one’s shoe?”
“Yes! Francis! Thank you. I thought it was me.”
“Nope. It was Francis. What did Lena tell you to do to him?”
“I called him Frank.”
Sadie’s eyes widened. “I wish I’d thought of that! I just sort of sat on his desk and asked him to print off my account balance. He’s been pretty respectful since then.”
“The power of zeroes.”
Sadie turned on the couch to face him. “So, what did you need to talk to me about? Your mother still?”
Letting out a sigh, he nodded and wished they could go back to making fun of Francis. “Yeah. I need to decide what to do about her.”
“Is she still calling you?”
“No. Her sponsor called me. Offered to act as an intermediary. I talked to Molly about it. She said I should think about it too. I need to make some sort of decision.”
“Do you want to do it? Meet with her?”
“No. I don’t want to. But maybe...” He let the words trail off and leaned his head back against the couch cushion to stare up at the ceiling. He wanted all this to go away. That’s what he wanted.
“Maybe you need to?”
The words were spoken softly. Need. That’s the problem. Drawing in a slow breath, he sat forward, letting the air back out in a rush. “Do I? Do I need to?”
“Only you can say that, DeShawn.”
“I want you to tell me.”
“I can’t do that. All I can say is that up until the very second I actually opened my mouth and spoke to my mother, I didn’t want to do it. I wanted to turn around and walk away. I wanted to walk away and forget about it forever.”
“That’s about where I’m at right now.”
He stood and paced around the room. The only thing different was the pictures of Sadie with Wyatt and Jules. She’d done it. She’d faced her past and moved on to create a life.
“I met this woman,” he blurted out.
Sadie smiled and lifted her eyebrows. “I believe that is called changing the subject. It’s a defense mechanism.”
He smiled and sat back down. “Okay. But the two are related. Sort of. She’s got a kid.”
“Ah. A how-old kid?”
“Six.”
“Do you know what a commitment that is?”
And Sadie would know. She was marrying a man with a nine year old. She was already undergoing the process of legally adopting Jules. “Yes. I do. It’s why I need to make a decision about my mother.”
“Okay. Let’s break this down. What happens if you tell them no?”
“I don’t meet with her. Simple. Next.”
“No. It isn’t simple. If it was that simple, you’d have already turned her down. Get rid of the smart-ass and get real now. Why haven’t you already said no?”
“Because,” he said, knowing it sounded petulant. He held up a hand and closed his eyes. “Let me think.”
“Don’t think. Feel. What did you feel when you heard the voice mail?”
“Anger. Fury. Hate. Pain.”
His heart was pounding in his chest. He rubbed the back of his neck and unclenched his teeth.
“You’re feeling that now, just talking about it,” Sadie said quietly. “And if you don’t meet with her...”
“It’ll always be there. She’ll always be out there. An unknown. She could spring up at any moment.”
“More than that, she’ll be in your mind forever.” Sadie got up and went into the kitchen area. “Wine? One of Wyatt’s beers?”
“No. Water?”
She returned and handed him a bottle of water. She sipped her wine. “And what if you meet with her?”
“Did it really help, Sadie? Did it really help to open that wound and bleed all over your mother?”
“I didn’t think of it like that. I saw it as my opportunity to make her see me. See the pain and harm she did to me. Make her take responsibility for it. I made it her burden to carry, not mine.”
He drained the bottle in several long swallows. “Damn,” he muttered. Turning to face Sadie, he felt his shoulders slump. “I have to do it, don’t I?”
She tilted her head and raised a shoulder in a small shrug. “You don’t have to do anything.”
“I don’t know what I’d say.”
Leaning forward, Sadie took his hand and squeezed. “The words will come. I promise. Do you want me to be with you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Let me wrap my brain around actually doing it.”
“Don’t wait too long. It’s like a splinter that’s getting infected. It’s gonna hurt like hell to dig it out, but you’ll heal up cleaner once it’s out.”
“Awesome,” he said with a groan.
“Now tell me about this woman you’re falling in love with.”
“I’m not. We just. Have this. Thing.”
“DeShawn, don’t even try that with me. A relationship with her is motivating you to face your mother. That means she is very important to you. I want details.”
“She’s a lot like you. Stubborn. Opinionated. Bossy.”
Sadie nodded and took another sip of wine. “I approve already. You need your smart ass kept in line by a strong woman.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
A STRONG WOMAN. Sadie’s words came back to him as he waited outside the restaurant. The air was still chilly but the sun was warm on his face. As February gave way to March, winter was on its way out. It felt odd, going on a date for lunch, but they were working around her schedule. Tiana’s SUV turned into the parking lot and he felt his mood lift. He walked to where she parked and opened the door for her.
“Hey,” she said almost shyly as she took his hand.
“Hey, yourself,” he said, kissing her on the cheek. “Welcome to our first official date.”
She smiled. “I thought lunch at your place was our first date.”
“I said first official date.”
“Okay, Engineer Man, you split that hair.”
He hooked his arm around her waist and they began walking back to the restaurant. “Engineer. I’ve been promoted from maid at last!”
“This seems weird,” Tiana said after the waitress left with their orders.
“Why?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never really been on a date before.”
“Never?” He leaned forward and put a hand over hers. He’d never seen her off-balance before.
Her cheeks darkened. “No. After Lily, I was focused on getting through school. I didn’t date.”
“Good to know. Now I just need to make this the best first date ever.”
They stared at each other for a moment. DeShawn grinned. “Now I feel awkward.”
Tiana picked her purse up from the chair beside her. “Luckily, I came prepared.” She unzipped the purse and took out a small stack of index cards.
The sight of the white cards, bound with a rubber band, brought back a rush of memories and he began to laugh. Tiana smiled and undid the rubber band. “Oh, man,” he said, wiping at his streaming eyes. “Okay, had a flashback there. Mickie sitting at her kitchen table desk last summer, six-inch stack of index cards, begging people to quiz her.”
“Mickie is a brilliant woman,” Tiana said with a hint of her good old snark. She slapped a card down on the table between them.
He spun it around. “Tell me one unexpected thing about yourself,” he read. “What? We each answer?”
“That’s the idea.”
“Where’d you come up with this?”
“My mother gave them to me.”
“You told your mother we were going on a date?”
“Yes. It’s not a secret, DeShawn, we’re just keeping it amongst the grown-ups for now. Answer the question.”
“No. Wait. Did you tell her anything else?”
Tiana rolled her eyes. “I didn’t tell her about that. What’s wrong with you? I told her we were going out today.”
Now he felt his face go hot. Of course he hadn’t thought she’d told her mother about sleeping with him. It was the ordinariness of it. She talked to her mother. Normal. He’d never told his mother one single detail about his life. In fact, he actively hid it from her. He looked back to the card. “I played the flute in my high school’s marching band.”
He laughed at Tiana’s shocked face. He reached across the table and pushed up on her chin to close her open mouth.
“Flute?”
“My grandmother was determined that I would be in the band. She thought it would keep me out of trouble. So, she hit up every yard sale in a twenty-mile radius looking for any musical instrument she could afford. Ended up with a flute.”
“Did it?”
“Did it what?”
“Keep you out of trouble?”
“Mostly. Your turn.”
She scrunched up her face as she thought. “I tried out to be a cheerleader at USC.”
DeShawn almost spewed the sip of water he’d just taken. “What?”
Tiana rolled her eyes and shook her head, making her curls bounce. “Temporary insanity. I was so excited to be there and wanted to have the complete college experience.” She made air quotes on the word complete.
“And? How’d you do?”
“Not too bad but there’s more to it than being loud. You have to jump around and sweat and that’s not really my style.”
“Tell me you joined a sorority too,” DeShawn said with one of his trademark snarky grins.
“I did not. I may have been ignorant but I wasn’t stupid. What about you?”
“No. All I did was study and work.” He paused and the grin faded away to a more serious look. “There was something about the exclusivity of the sorority and fraternity life that bothered me.”
The Littlest Boss Page 13
