She frowned at him. “I’m fine. As long as I’m doing something. I’ve been awake way longer than this before.”
“Studies have proven that sleepy driving is as bad as drunk driving,” he said, pulling her into his arms. He touched his forehead to hers and looked down into her eyes. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“Nothing is going to happen to me.”
“For Lily’s sake then. Tee, you were swaying on that bench. You could barely keep your eyes open. If you get in an accident on the way home, I’ll never forgive myself.”
She let her shoulders slump. She was awfully tired. And he’d thrown the perfect guilt bomb—Lily. “Let me see if it’s okay to leave my car here.”
He handed her his car keys. “Go get in, I’ll ask.”
Five minutes later, they were pulling out of the parking lot. “Where to?” he asked.
She gave him the name of her apartment complex and leaned against the door. It was just her eyes. Her eyes were so tired. She just needed to shut them for a minute.
“Hey.”
She came awake at the touch on her leg. The car was idling just inside the entrance to her complex. “Damn. I fell asleep.”
“About a minute after we left. Which apartment is yours?”
“Keep going. Third on the right past the pool.”
As he pulled to a stop in front of her building, she turned to him. “Thank you for doing this.”
“Not a problem. Let me know when you’re ready and I’ll take you to get your car.”
“It’s okay. My mother is coming back from the farm today. She can take me. I don’t have to work tonight.”
His eyebrows raised in surprise. “Who’s watching Lily?”
Leaning forward, she kissed him on the cheek. “She’s at a friend’s house. I’ll get plenty of sleep. But it’s cute that you worry about me.”
“Of course,” he said, shaking his head. “Of course she’s with someone.”
Tiana rolled her eyes. “Of course she is.”
He caught her hand and pulled her back for another kiss. “Think we can sneak a date in sometime this week?”
“Definitely. Now, go away. I need some a nap.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SUNDAY AFTERNOON, DESHAWN and Malik hit their backs hard in the gym. Started with classic wide-grip chin-ups to get everything loosened up, then moved through set after set of rows—barbell, dumbbell, and cable—before going upside down on the decline bench for some pull-overs that left DeShawn’s lats feeling scorched. FedEx Fred strolled in, still in his uniform, en route to the locker room with his gym bag over his shoulder, and DeShawn gave him a fist bump as they passed. Then, Malik waved him over and handed him a curl bar. Their backs already toast, it was time to hit the biceps. Pull day, Malik called it. DeShawn thought of a few other words he could use to describe it!
He was still feeling it after his shower, gingerly slipping his shirt on in the locker room and feeling that good hurt way down deep in his muscles that meant he’d done what he came to the gym to do.
He was happily groaning and buttoning his shirt when his phone meep-meeped a message notification at him. He reached into his locker, slid his finger across the screen and tapped his code in to unlock it. The message was from Tiana.
I quit! I absolutely quit! Who is this friend with the ten billion kittens?
DeShawn laughed out loud as he read it. That scored him a couple of annoyed glances from a couple of guys who apparently came to the gym just to watch ESPN on the wall-mounted TV in the far corner of the locker room. Whatever. But Dan-Dan the Sun Salutation Man gave him a nod and a knowing grin from three lockers over. Good old Dan—how long had he been coming to the gym? Years. Always wearing shades of purple and blue and always the exact same routine: twenty minutes of yoga, twenty minutes on the stair-climber, twenty minutes of free weights. Never saw Dan without a bright, blissed-out smile on his face. DeShawn returned Dan’s nod and smile, then looked back to his phone.
Was Tiana finally ready to pick from Molly’s latest litter? Well. Seemed like her daughter was just as stubborn as Tiana could be.
“What’s up?” Malik asked as he returned from the shower room. He had his towel wrapped around his waist and the flip-flops he wore as shower shoes made wet schlup-schlup sounds as he made his way to his locker. He dropped his shoes on the floor, plucked his shirt off the back hook in the locker and began dressing.
“Looks like I’m going kitten shopping instead of grocery shopping,” DeShawn said.
Malik nodded. “Molly still has all those cats?”
“Even more now. It’s out of control. Have you been to her house? You can’t get inside the door without two or three of them climbing up you.”
“You’re getting one?”
Sitting down, DeShawn grabbed his shoelaces and tied them. He shook his head no and stood. “Nope. Tiana wants one for her daughter.”
“You guys a thing now?”
He shrugged, stuffed his workout clothes in the gym bag and grabbed his phone. He quickly swiped a message in reply to Tiana. His brow knit, perplexed, when autocorrect tried to change look to Luke. Seriously? He repaired the text, then hit Send.
Want to look today? I can call her. Let you know time.
Her reply was immediate. Thank you!
“I gotta run,” he said to Malik as he shouldered his bag. “Need to set up a kitten deal.”
Malik laughed. “Go make your woman happy.”
His woman. The word burned hot in his mind. He wished. He hoped. In the car, he called Molly. No texts for her. That kind of thing was pure Star Trek as far as she was concerned, she’d once told him. And he was quite sure she was picturing a young William Shatner in the Captain’s chair as she said it, definitely not Chris Pine. He chuckled, bit his bottom lip and waited as the phone rang.
“Hey, I may have an interested party for a kitten,” he said when she answered.
“Lovely,” Molly said. “Did you want to come by this afternoon? I have, I think, six of them over two pounds so they are eligible for adoption.”
“Hold on a second, let me check.”
Two?
Tiana’s text came back immediately.
Perfect. Meet you at your apartment.
“Okay, Molly. We’ll be around a little after two.”
He hung up with a smile. Still had time to get the grocery shopping done before meeting Tiana. This was shaping up to be a good day.
* * *
HE’D JUST FINISHED putting the groceries away when there was a knock at the door. He opened it to a thoroughly irritated-looking Tiana. He said hello to her and then looked down. Lily. “Hi, Lily,” he said, smiling at her and then back up at Tiana.
“Hi, Mr. DeShawn! I’m getting a kitten!”
“So I hear.” He grinned at Tiana. “What happened?”
“She wore me down. Plus, that librarian at her school is obviously a crazy cat lady. All the research I had Lily do into the responsibilities and cost of owning a cat came back with nothing but all the benefits of pet ownership. Then my mother started in and I’ve got way too many real battles to fight without fighting over a dang cat.”
He managed not to laugh, but couldn’t help smiling. She looked and sounded so much the Tiana he’d first met last summer. Full of sass and salt.
“I sank her battleship,” Lily said, crossing her arms against her chest and looking smug.
He couldn’t stop the laughter this time.
“Don’t laugh at me,” Tiana snapped, but a smile was playing at the edges of her lips. “I made my mother swear she would be responsible for teaching Lily how to clean the litter box. Filthy, smelly things.”
“I’ll do everything, Mommy. Even pick up the poopoo.”
; “There’s always toilet training,” he said. He wanted to touch her. Put an arm around her. Something. You leave the little box up on the seat for a while and they learn to...”
She waved it off, then said, “I’m going to look into that. Trust me.”
Grabbing his coat, he shrugged it on. “Come on. Molly’s expecting us. You have six total kittens to choose from, out of the fourteen.”
“Good God! Fourteen? Is she crazy?”
“No. A softhearted foster mom. Apparently, this winter was mild enough to spark an early kitten population explosion and the shelter was overrun. What kind of kitten do you want, Lily?”
“A fluffy one.”
“Fluffy,” he repeated slowly and cut his eyes at Tiana. “Extra furry. What color?”
Lily pushed her lips out and tilted her head to the side as she considered. “I like orange cats. But I like striped cats too.”
“What about a fluffy orange striped one?”
“Do they have one?”
“I don’t know,” he said, grinning at the excitement in her eyes. “I guess we’ll find out.”
“A normal cat is enough. Don’t need extra cat hair all over everything,” Tiana said as they walked the sidewalk to his car.
“That’s what lint rollers were invented for.”
“I’m not lint rolling my entire apartment.”
“DeShawn!”
He froze at the voice. Angry, that edge in it. It froze him in place, just for a second. There was a rush of cold pin-pricking in his gut as he finally turned around. A woman—hard, haggard—stood in the center of the sidewalk behind them. Her eyes were locked on him.
No.
She looked older. Older than she should be. She advanced on him like she wanted his throat.
He put a hand out to move Lily behind him.
“What in the hell do you mean you aren’t going to even talk to me?” The woman said this as she approached, her voice dangerously clipped. She was on him before he could register the words in his head. “Your own mother? I’m trying here, DeShawn! Trying. And you turn your damn back on me like you’ve done all your life.”
“How...how did you find me?” He stood there, not moving, not knowing what move to make, until something slipped into his peripheral vision. Lily was peeking around him to see what was going on. He reached out and gently pushed the child back.
Something hit his chest and fluttered to the ground. He looked down, confused. Paper?
“You trying to show off to your family with fucking Christmas cards,” the woman said. The woman. His mother.
He felt Tiana’s hand close around his arm, but he shook her off and stepped toward his mother. “You need to go home. This is not the time. Not the place.”
Denise lifted her hands, palms to the sky. “When, then? You sitting up here in this fancy apartment with your fancy college degree and fancy job. You always thought you were so much better than any of us. Well, guess what, you aren’t.” She spat the words at him, inches from his face. “You aren’t anything but an ungrateful brat who won’t even help his own mother.”
He couldn’t think. It was that feeling. That same feeling. Being small. Being scared. That voice. So angry. Angry at what? He never knew. Never knew what she was so angry about, all the time. And always at him. His fault, all that anger, just for being there, for breathing? He went blank, silent, expressionless.
His mother turned her lip up like she’d won.
When the words broke through, they came out in a rush.
“What in the hell are you even talking about?” he said. “You’re a goddamned drug addict. That’s it! That’s all! You’ve never been a mother to me. Don’t you say you’re a mother. I’ve been nothing to you except a way to blackmail your way to drug money. Money for drugs! Momma G! Remember her? Remember your mother? Do you? Don’t you even know what you did to her? How much pain you put in her? In me? Damn! If you’d come here and said sorry—it wouldn’t matter. But you didn’t. You came here to lay all of this on me. Don’t you dare come here and try to lay any of this on me.”
His voice was too loud, he realized, as little snaps of awareness began to pull him back to himself, to where he was and what he was doing. His muscles were tight and locked, his hands clenched into fists. Looking at her infuriated him. Having her throw blame in his face was too much.
She held her hands palm upward, before on him. She looked like she was about to cry. “That was the past,” she said. “I’m trying, DeShawn. I’m trying. I thought you, my only son, would want to help me.” Then, her hands dropped and her mouth twisted into a scowl again and she jabbed a finger at his face over and over as she spoke. “But that’s you. Selfish through and through. Your grandmother spoiled you. You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”
“Selfish? Me? How about you? How about you loving your drugs more than you ever loved me? That’s selfish. You never did one damn thing for me my entire life. You left me wallowing in shit and filth until Momma G took me away. I don’t owe you a damned thing.”
“You owe me your life! I didn’t do drugs one single time until after you were born!”
“You want credit for that? You aren’t supposed to do drugs at all when you have a kid. You seriously want cookies for not poisoning me in the womb? Not poisoning your baby isn’t an extra credit point. It’s a basic part of being a mother.”
“I want credit for what I’m doing now.”
“No! I told you no. I told you I want nothing to do with you. Go away. Go away. I don’t care. Do you get that? I don’t give a damn if you stay clean or die. Go away! I. Do. Not. Care.” Denise looked past him to Tiana and Lily. “Who’s this? You got a woman and a kid now?”
Those words went straight to his gut. Tiana. Lily. Watching this. Hearing this. He stepped forward. Feet apart, chest to chest with Denise, looking down at her, his hands still clenched in fists.
“Go. Away,” he said quietly. “Now.”
His voice was quiet, but Denise recognized the look of pure fury in his eyes. He’d taken a deliberately threatening stance with her. She took a step back.
“Go,” he repeated.
Denise shuffled a few feet down the sidewalk and lifted her hand to point at him. “Oh, I’m gonna go for now, Mr. Big Man. But this isn’t over. I’m gonna have my say.”
With a withering glare, she turned and hurried to a car parked at the end of the sidewalk. He watched her go. The rage swirled in him. He needed to get away from here. He needed to do...something. “DeShawn,” Tiana said quietly from behind him.
Shame crumpled his anger. Lily. And Tiana. With her perfect family. Parents who loved her. Parents who did right by her. Now she knew the truth about him. He’d exposed Lily to this poison.
“You go too, Tiana,” he said without turning around. He didn’t want to see the look in her eyes. Or Lily’s.
“No. What’s going on here?”
It was just an instant. One second of weakness. He spun around and brought his fist down on the hood of his car. “Go.”
Tiana’s flinching back doused the rage with ice-cold shame. But it was what she needed to do. Go.
Turning away before she could say anything more, he walked back to his apartment. He had to get away.
Slamming the apartment door behind him, he paced through the small space, rage and hatred boiling through him. It was all he could do to not put a fist through the wall. What the hell just happened? They were going to look at kittens. Damn fuzzy kittens. He sank down on the couch and put his hands to his head.
He should have taken care of this. He should have known better. After everything he’d been through, his mother was still ruining his life.
* * *
“MOMMY, WHAT HAPPENED? Why was that lady yelling?”
She scooped Lily up into he
r arms to settle her in the booster seat. “I don’t know, Lily.”
“Why won’t Mr. DeShawn take us to see the kittens?”
Tiana didn’t know what to do or what exactly had happened but she knew he was in pain. She’d seen her share of raw emotional outbursts in the emergency room, but the pain she’d heard behind DeShawn’s angry words had stunned her. She would have never guessed he carried that much pain within him.
It was the flash of violence that scared her.
She had to get Lily away from here, talk to her about what she’d just seen. Give him time to calm down. She climbed in the driver’s seat and locked the doors. The woman had gone, but everything seemed poisoned with the words that had been spoken. She rested her head on the steering wheel as she cranked the engine. What in the hell had just happened?
* * *
“THAT WAS QUICK,” Vivian said as they came through the door.
“We didn’t go,” Tiana said. She helped Lily out of her jacket and took her hand. “I want to talk to you, Lils.”
“What happened?” Vivian asked.
“A lady was there and she was yelling at Mr. DeShawn and he was yelling at her and saying bad words,” Lily answered.
Vivian looked at Tiana. She met her mother’s gaze and shook her head. Damn it. All your fault. Exposing Lily to this. “Come sit down with me, Lily.”
She got settled on the couch but had no idea what to say. “I’m sorry you saw that,” she began. Now that the shock was wearing off, anger was beginning to creep in. Anger at DeShawn. But mostly at herself. “It’s scary to see grown-ups yelling like that.” She looked up at her mother. She was floundering here. She had no idea how to explain this.
Vivian sat on the coffee table facing them. “Were you frightened, Lily?”
“No. Well. Maybe a little when she first starting yelling.”
“Yeah, yelling isn’t good.”
Tiana took Lily’s hand. “People are different. When you and I are disagreeing, we don’t yell. We try to talk about it. But some people yell. I don’t like it but that’s just the way some people express their feelings.”
The Littlest Boss Page 17
