“DeShawn,” she whispered. Her lips were pressed tight, eyes shut. She patted her cheeks twice with the tops of her fingertips as words raced through her mind. Fast words, wrong words, words she was lining out and revising as soon as they formed. Finally, she whisked all words away, reached over to him and pulled him into her arms.
“I love you, Tiana,” he whispered in her ear. “I want to be a part of your life. I don’t know how to fix this.”
Tears stung at her eyes. She hugged him tighter. “I don’t either.”
“Do you love me?”
She hesitated. She did. But Lily. She pulled back and put her hands against his cheeks and looked into his eyes. “I do. I do love you.”
“But?”
“There shouldn’t be a but. I understand everything you’ve told me.”
“The nurse in you understands,” he said, his smile measured and his eyes unwavering, watching her reaction calmly and carefully. “The mother in you isn’t sure.”
She sat back. Held up a hand. “Give me a minute. I have to think.”
She watched the kittens as they stretched and climbed over each other in constant motion. Paws padding the air, thin slivers of claw popping out and retracting. Rolling over, showing their bellies, nuzzling into one another, neck to neck. Seeking comfort, seeking warmth.
Kasey had told her to not use Lily as an excuse to cut and run. She had a second chance here. But the love word had been spoken. And she did love this man. She loved that he was sitting there. Quiet. Letting her figure this out. He never pressured her. He instinctively put Lily first also. Until this thing with his mother, she’d thought him perfect. But now, his outburst had been spurred by his seeing a threat to Lily. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it.
“I need to tell you something,” she said.
“Tell me.”
She turned to him. “I’d known Lily’s father all my life. Small town. You know everyone. He was a good kid. Tried to do right. Hoped for a football scholarship because that was what he loved. But he was a small-town kid, playing in a small-town league. He never could accept the fact that he wasn’t good enough for college level.”
He took her hand and it felt so good. She closed her fingers around his. “Sounds like the athletic equivalent to our academic shock.”
“But we coped. We adapted. We worked harder.”
“He didn’t?”
“No. He dropped out of Lily’s life when she was three. Remember? We had this conversation. She was old enough to know her daddy didn’t come around anymore. It hurt her, DeShawn.”
“And you can’t risk it again. I understand. I’m not asking for full acceptance here, Tee. I just wanted to tell you everything. So you can decide. I love you. I want us to continue. But it’s your decision.”
She shook her head. “No. You’re not getting it.”
“Getting what?”
“I’m not that same girl anymore. I know what it’s like to have to turn your back on someone you once loved so you can be the person you want to be. I know the strength and courage it takes to do that.”
He looked down at his hands. “It’s not a choice I wanted to make.”
“But you made a choice. You chose a life free of substance abuse. You chose yourself. You chose to hope.”
She leaned forward and kissed him. His hands—lightly at first, fingertips just brushing—moved from her shoulders down the length of her arms as he returned the kiss. Their hands met at the bottom, locking tight. Hot and desperate and hopeful. He turned his head, pressing his cheek against hers. “Thank you,” he said.
“For what?”
“Understanding. I love you, Tiana. I want to be a part of your life. You. Lily. Your mother. All of you. I love you.”
She sat back and looked at him. Looked at the kittens. “Pack them up.”
“What?”
“Come on. Pack them up. You’re coming to my house. Let Lily pick out a kitten.”
“Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent. But I’m leaving you in charge of the whole toilet-training thing.” She stared straight ahead just for a beat, then shook her head, smiling.
* * *
AS HE FOLLOWED Tiana up the stairs to her apartment, carrier full of mewing kittens dangling from his hand, DeShawn felt more nervous now that he had when he’d made the phone call that morning. He couldn’t mess this up.
“Hey, Mom? Lily?” Tiana called out as she opened the door. “I have a surprise.”
She turned to wave him through the door. Heart thumping, he stepped over the threshold. Lily popped up from the large comfortable-looking couch. “Mr. DeShawn!”
Vivian came down the hallway. She gave him a long, appraising look then tilted her head to toward the carrier in his hand. “What do you have there?”
Lily let out a squeal. “Kittens! You brought me kittens!”
Laughing, he crossed to the living room and set the carrier down on the rug. “Just one, Lily,” Tiana said as she joined him. “He brought a couple for you to choose from.”
Lily threw her arms around Tiana’s waist and squeezed. “Thank you, Mommy!”
“Okay,” DeShawn said as he sat down on the floor. He motioned at Lily to come sit with him. “Let’s see what we have here.”
“I’ll get some supper started,” Viv said. “DeShawn, will you be staying for supper?”
He looked over at Tiana. “Will I?”
Her smile warmed him to his core. “Of course you will.”
He returned the smile and felt something deep down within him relax. It was going to be okay. “All right, Miss Lily. These three kittens were handpicked by a friend of mine to be the best kittens for you.”
“Yay!” she said, clapping her hands. Her smile was like Christmas morning and he found himself grinning with her.
“First, we have this little orange kitten. I remembered you wanted a fluffy, striped orange one.” He took the biggest of the kittens out. “She is going to be a little fluffy when she grows up.”
He set the kitten down in Lily’s waiting hands. She handled it carefully. “She’s so pretty. Don’t you think she’s pretty, Momma?”
Tiana sat on the edge of the couch. “Very pretty, Lils.”
“Next, we have this little boy kitten. My friend says he is very lazy and snuggly and just wants to be petted.”
“He’s got a gray tail and spots!” Lily exclaimed as she put down the orange kitten and took the white one from him.
“Very unusual-looking cat, isn’t he?” DeShawn agreed as he took out the last kitten. The little gray one with the mint-green eyes. “Now this guy. He’s also a cuddly cat. Loves to sit on you and purr.”
“Oh, look at those gorgeous eyes,” Tiana said. “Let me hold him, Lily.”
Lily carried the kitten to the couch. “How am I going to pick, Mommy?”
“Play with them for a little while. One will pick you,” DeShawn said. “That’s what my friend believes.”
He moved to the couch to sit beside Tiana while Lily crawled around on the floor with the kittens. Viv brought them two glasses of sweet tea. “Thank you, Mrs. Nelson,” he said.
She held on to the glass for a beat as she handed it to him and he looked up into her eyes. “You are welcome, DeShawn.”
A lump rose in his throat. The emphasis she’d put on the words. He was welcome here. Tiana smiled and touched his hand.
A giggly squeal rose from the floor. The gray kitten was standing on Lily’s back, sniffing at her ear. “The purring is tickling me,” she said, reaching back to pick the kitten up. “You are a purr bug.” The kitten sat calmly in her palms and he could hear the purring from where he sat on the couch.
“I think he picked you,” Tiana said.
Lily titled her
head. “Did you? Do you want to live here?”
The kitten squeaked out a meow and they all laughed. “I think that’s a yes,” DeShawn said. Secretly pleased that she’d chosen the little gray.
“Okay then,” Tiana said. “We’ve got a kitten.”
Lily looked solemnly up at her mother. “Thank you very much. I will take good care of him.”
Tiana stood. “I know you will, Lily. Hey, Mom? About when will supper be ready? DeShawn has to return the other kittens and I’ll need to run out and get some supplies.”
Viv waved a hand. “About an hour. I want to see you both back on time.”
Draping his arm on Tiana’s shoulders as they walked down the stairs to the parking lot, he gave her a squeeze. “That went well.”
“Of course it did. My mother is good people.”
He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and took her hand. “We’re going to do this?”
“We are. No way you’re backing out now.”
Pulling her into his arms, he kissed her. “I’m not going anywhere.”
A rather loud mewing rose from the two kittens in the carrier. Tiana stepped back. “Get those kittens out of the cold. I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Wait,” he said. “Do you have a black or red dress?”
“What?”
“I’ve met your family. I’d like you to meet mine. My real family. My family of choice.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
April 1
MEET HIS FAMILY. The words came back to her as they walked down King Street, past the hot new restaurants, the marquee lights of the American Theater, and crowds of people out on the town. They’d parked in the garage because, come on, you had better odds of winning at roulette in Vegas than of scoring a parking meter in this part of Charleston.
When DeShawn finally said, “Here we go,” and pointed, she drew a breath.
“Whoa,” she said. “That’s a lot of really old stuccoed brick.”
He laughed. “Yeah,” he said with a smile, squeezing her hand. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
The rest was arches and pediments and the kind of fine architectural detailing that just wasn’t made anymore. It couldn’t be made like that these days, she thought. Too expensive, even if you could find artisans with the right skills.
This was old Charleston, moneyed Charleston, the kind of building on King Street that maybe predated the Civil War, the kind of building that got the tourists lined up snapping pictures for Facebook and Instagram. Just standing in front of it made you feel like you were long away in the distant past. Hm. Yeah, but, the past meant different things for everyone, didn’t it? Still. This was something, this building, no two ways about that.
A small wedding, he’d said. Tiana looked up at the building again. This was a high-dollar small wedding. Who were these people, again? She smoothed down the sides of the red dress she’d found, suddenly hoping it wasn’t too plain. She felt odd wearing red to a wedding, but she certainly wasn’t going to wear a black dress. Realizing she was nervous, she looked over at DeShawn.
He smiled and took her hand. “Mickie will be here.”
They stopped at the door and he kissed her on the cheek. “You really are so beautiful, Tiana.”
She curled her fingers around his tie, pulled it straight and then smoothed it against him. As she slowly slid her hands away, she looked at his eyes directly and said, “You clean up pretty well yourself, Man Maid.”
“Come on, let’s go see if this wedding actually happens.”
“Yeah? You have doubts?”
“Hey, it’s April first. The theme is Fools For Love. We’ll see.”
They were greeted by two good-looking guys in black and red. “Uh-oh, the Cleaning Crew royalty is in the house,” the first guy said, clapping a hand on DeShawn’s arm.
“Ha!” DeShawn said, exchanging a first bump with him.
“Oh. My. Gosh,” Tiana said once they were inside. “You weren’t kidding!” The room, with its ancient pine flooring and exposed handmade brick was a veritable carnival. Red, white and black tablecloths. Masquerade masks. The centerpieces at each table were jester’s hats complete with jingling bells at the tips of the curls. On the other side of the room, chairs were set out in rows. Everyone in the room was dressed in black, white or red, grouped in small clusters, chatting and catching up.
In the far corner, she could see staff already setting out food. There were several dozen people walking about, greeting one another, laughing and embracing. It wasn’t a huge wedding by any means, but one thing she saw immediately: the people who were here really cared about one another.
“Tiana!”
She looked over the small crowd to see Mickie rise up from her chair and wave at them. They made their way to the seats. The two women embraced and DeShawn leaned over to kiss Mickie on the cheek.
“Where’s Josh, my fine Miss Mickie?”
“He’s giving Sadie away. They should be starting soon. Isn’t this the best theme ever?”
Tiana nodded. “It’s so fun.”
“Lena’s mother is quietly freaking out. She’s convinced they’re going to yell ‘April fool’ at any moment.”
That’s when the first notes from the organ signaled to everyone that it was time to take their seats.
The minister came in to stand before the crowd. There were two columns at the front of the room with a backdrop of a medieval castle stretched on the wall.
A hush came over the room as the groom and the best man entered.
“That’s Wyatt,” Mickie whispered to Tiana. “Isn’t he gorgeous?”
He was wearing a black suit with a black-and-red diamond-print tie. Tiana nodded. “Easy on the eyes, for sure.”
Again the music spoke to the crowd and everyone turned to look to the back of the room. Coming down the aisle was a beautiful young girl of about nine or ten. The red velvet princess dress perfectly set off her raven-black hair and olive complexion. In her hands, she carried a black-and-white basket with red ribbons tied to the handle. In the basket were the reddest rose petals Tiana had ever seen. The little girl threw them to the floor with such an imperial grace one could think her a real princess.
She reached the front and the groom leaned down to kiss her on the cheek before she moved to her spot. Next down the aisle was the maid of honor. Recognizing Lena from the school project, Tiana leaned close to DeShawn. “Is she related to the flower girl?”
He shook his head and turned to whisper back. “Long story. Later.”
As Lena approached the front, there came a wolf whistle from the crowd. Everyone laughed and when she scowled into the audience, several people laughed even harder. “What?” Tiana whispered.
“Lena and Matt,” DeShawn said, pointing to a man near the front. “First man to ever irritate Lena on purpose and live to tell about it.”
The music swelled as the “Wedding March” began and the crowd turned with a collective intake of breath. Rose to their feet. After a moment, Josh appeared with the bride. The usual oohs and ahhs rose from the crowd at the sight of the bride. Sadie. DeShawn’s former boss. She’d heard about her. A strong, independent, fiery woman. DeShawn hadn’t told her how beautiful she was. Her long black curls were the perfect veil for the simple yet elegant gown she wore.
She heard Mickie sniffling beside her and took her hand. She didn’t even know the woman and she felt the tears stinging. Some about a wedding. The love and hope in the air. Brought out the romantic in everyone.
Josh escorted Sadie to the front of the room. As she turned to face Wyatt, he lifted his hands and gave her a puzzled look. Placing her hands on her dress, Sadie lifted it enough to show the red-and-black diamond-print stockings she wore.
* * *
THE CEREMONY WAS BRIEF, informal. The vows they exchang
ed were simple words about love and about respecting one another as equal partners in their life together. It told a story of connection and communication, of learning to trust, of learning to try. When Tiana felt the teardrops well in eyes, she didn’t even try to conceal it, because everyone—the entire group assembled there—seemed to be wiping at tears, dabbling at tears, letting the tears run freely.
Because this was all of their stories, shared, combined. This was an extended family that had found one another through chance and experience and luck and effort and never, ever giving up.
It was beautiful.
When it finished, everyone moved to the other side of the room, so the reception began immediately. The staff had seemingly swept a perfect reception hall into being while no one was looking.
As Tiana walked hand-in-hand with DeShawn, a handsome young man with a tray to his shoulder offered both of them puff pastries stuffed with shrimp, crab and sheer deliciousness.
Over on the side of the room where the ceremony had taken place, an elegant young woman in black took just a few formal photographs of the bride and groom. It gave the wedding guests a few minutes to get settled.
There was already a line at the book where guests could write notes and wishes to the newlyweds. The table with the wedding gifts was piled high.
The buffet was nothing short of spectacular. Tiana smiled as she imagined how Lily would have reacted to it: eyes wide, her mouth a wide O of appreciation. She hoped she was having tons of fun on her special Granny-Lily night. She deserved that happiness. Really, they all did.
The buffet was replete with roasted chickens, perfect crisp skins glistening. Mini Thai beef salads portioned out into little dishes, the beef seared and the vinaigrette ginger-lime. Oven-roasted Brussels sprouts, each with a perfect char. Potatoes with garlic, butter and chives. There were mounds of seafood resting in ice, wedges of lemon all around.
And the cake. The cake looked like a showstopper. Elegant lines, many-tiered and true to the theme. The jester motif was so subtly but perfectly there alongside the berries, blossoms and greenery. That cake was made by an artist.
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