by Lexi Blake
Her stomach sank. “You knew who I was when I hit on you.”
It wasn’t a question. It was blatantly obvious she’d been had. He’d known exactly who she was and he’d lied to her.
It was the one thing she’d asked him not to do. Well, that and treat her less than she was.
“I knew we had chemistry, and you wouldn’t have given us a chance if you’d known,” he said quickly. “Nina, baby, you hit me like lightning, and I know you felt the same way. The job didn’t matter.”
“It mattered to me.” She needed to get out of here. She knew it wasn’t professional, but she had to get away from him, had to think her way through this.
It was happening again. She was trading her job, her reputation, for some good sex and a modicum of affection.
She wasn’t ever going to learn.
“Ian, I’m going to do some prep work and write up a report of my observations of our suspects. Should I do that while I’m watching the client or were you and Alex serious about staying here?” She didn’t even look JT’s way.
“I think that’s an excellent idea. We should all get some sleep. I’ll let Michael know to be on standby,” Ian replied. “We’ll stay here but you have to stay here, too. I’d love to get you another room or let you go to the office, but we don’t know who’s watching.”
She wanted to be away from JT, wanted some time alone to mourn what had just happened, but she understood what Ian was saying.
She almost prayed they ended up taking Michael with them. If they managed to convince JT to go through with the mission, she would have to hold hands with him and look like they were in love.
It would be torture.
“I’ll take the smaller bedroom.” At least they were in a ridiculously large suite and she had options.
“You can have the master,” JT replied.
“Thank you.” She turned away because she wasn’t about to argue.
* * * *
JT stared out over the lights of Dallas and tried to find any beauty at all in them. It was three in the morning and he hadn’t found a second of peace since that moment when he’d realized someone was trying to kill him and that person might get Nina instead. It was hard to believe he’d stood in this same spot mere days before and thought it was the most beautiful place in the world. But then Nina had been here with him.
“I would tell you to move away from the exposed window anyone could snipe you from, but I suspect you wouldn’t hate that at this point,” a familiar voice said.
He wished the voice wasn’t so familiar but was at least relieved it wasn’t Tag. He turned from the floor-to-ceiling windows with a sigh and took in Alex McKay, who was down to his slacks, undershirt, and socks. The sight of McKay’s gun in a shoulder holster reminded him why McKay was here, and it wasn’t simply to avoid stinky diapers. “Sorry. I’ll keep away from the window, though I don’t see how anyone could get me this high.”
McKay glanced out. “I’ve got four perches I could use, and then there are always helicopters, though those will give you a bit of a warning. You would be surprised how many people don’t take a good warning though.”
“Yeah, I got that.” He crossed to the bar and poured himself a Scotch. It was his first since Nina had looked at him with wounded eyes. He’d forced himself to stay away from it because he’d needed to think. He was tired of thinking. Thinking got him nowhere. Thinking had left him with nowhere to sleep. “Tag kick you out of bed?”
McKay chuckled and sat down at the bar. “His snoring sure did. Let me tell you I do not miss having to share a room with the big bastard. When we first started the company years ago we did it on a shoestring budget and had to share hotel rooms, and they did not always have two beds. The funny thing is he’s completely silent when we’re on surveillance. I swear that man can sleep with his eyes open and not make a sound. But when he’s comfortable, he can scare off an elephant. I don’t know how Charlie does it.”
“It’s good that he’s so comfortable. I could have been comfortable if he’d kept his mouth shut.” Nina hadn’t given up on him until Tag had outed his tiny omission of truth.
Alex slid him a sidelong glance. “I doubt that. I don’t know what conversation you were having last night, but it was not going well.”
“I could have saved it. I could have made her understand, but Tag had to open his mouth. I tell you I was disappointed. I kind of thought we were friendly. I didn’t expect he would out me like that to Nina.” It had bugged him all night. She never had to know how they’d met. It didn’t change anything.
Alex chuckled and poured himself a couple of fingers of the excellent Scotch the hotel stocked for the Malones. “Oh, that didn’t surprise me at all. Look, Ian’s got a code and he’s got a bunch of circles with which he applies that code. And he would blow a whole lot of that code up if he thinks a guy is fucking a woman over.”
Then Tag didn’t know him at all. “I am not trying to hurt Nina. I am trying to keep her safe.”
“You started the relationship by lying to her. That was always going to come out. You’ve been lucky so far. I assure you at some point Genny would have asked Nina about you and it would have come out. But you can’t expect Ian to pick you in this fight. She’s his employee, and he takes that seriously. Also, I know Ian seems like he’s all about protecting the women, but half the time he’s got a woman watching his back. He’s kind of surrounded himself with badass women, and he doesn’t like it when they get marginalized.”
What the hell was Alex talking about? “I wasn’t marginalizing her. I was trying to put her first. That’s what I don’t get. I’m literally willing to give up millions of dollars so she can be safe and somehow I’m the bad guy.”
This was what he’d been up thinking about all night. He had no idea how he’d been on the losing side of this fight. He was putting her first, putting her above money, the company, hell, according to Tag and Alex, he was putting her above the country. He didn’t get what he’d done so wrong, why she’d looked at him like he’d torn her apart.
Alex’s expression turned slightly sympathetic. “I wouldn’t say bad guy exactly, but you’re definitely the asshole. You’ve been around Nina for a week now. I would assume you’ve talked to her. Or have you just spent time in bed?”
He’d spent more time with her in the last week than he’d spent with anyone in years. “Of course I’ve talked to her. I’ve gotten to know a lot about her. You might think I’m an asshole, but I care about her. I care about her more than I would have expected. Hell, I’ve spent days trying to figure out how to keep her here with me after this mission thing is over.”
“Then you should know about her last job.”
He sighed in pure frustration. The last thing he wanted to talk about was the asshole who’d gotten her fired from Interpol. “I’m not using her. I’m not lying to her to try to get something out of her. I know I didn’t tell her I knew who she was, but I saw her and I wanted her more than I’ve ever wanted a woman in my life. I asked myself why it mattered that we would be working together.”
“Then shouldn’t you have made that argument to her?” Alex asked.
He’d thought about this, too. “I didn’t want to risk it.”
Alex nodded as though that was exactly the answer he’d expected. “Then you lied to her because you wanted to manipulate her into doing something. Namely you.”
“It’s not the same.”
Alex took a short drink and seemed to savor the Scotch. “Okay. Well, then you’re in the right and she’s overreacting.”
JT sank onto the seat beside Alex. “That’s not what I’m saying either.”
“Then you should say what you mean to say.”
Wasn’t that the problem? “I don’t know what I mean to say. I didn’t want any of this to happen. I wanted to be with her. That was all.”
“But her job is a big part of who she is,” Alex pointed out. “This isn’t an office job she chose because there wasn’t anything else ou
t there. She trained for this. She puts her heart and soul into this job, and she’s had it all ripped away from her before.”
“I wasn’t trying to take her job away.” But he could see how it might look that way from her perspective. “I was trying to keep her safe.”
Alex put the drink down. “She’s not safe. That’s part of who she is, and you’re rejecting that part of her. How would you respond to a girlfriend who attempted to talk your father out of sending you out to check on rigs?”
“That would be ridiculous.” Half his job was making sure the rigs were properly working.
“Why? It’s dangerous. It’s precisely why you have security on every one of those rigs, and even then, bad shit still happens.”
“Yeah, well I’ve never been shot.” He winced. “But I have been in dangerous positions. Damn it. I didn’t mean to make her feel like she’s less. She’s starting to be everything to me.”
“Do you want my advice? From a man who lost his wife because he didn’t understand or appreciate how strong she was? I ask because I really will back off if you don’t want my opinion. Unlike Ian, who would just plow through.” Alex got a whimsical smile on his face. “I often think he does that because he never really fucked up before. He can be that arrogant because he was mostly right.”
“That’s the not the way I heard it.” JT had been told a lot of stories about Big Tag. “I heard he was a complete ass when his wife made it back to him.”
That comment elicited a full belly laugh from Alex. “Yeah, he was, but that lasted a whole three days. She put him through hell for five years. When you really look at it, he blustered briefly, and there was never a question in my mind what the outcome would be because he loved her. Because I watched for years as he mourned her. I sometimes wonder if he gave in so quickly because he’d seen how badly I screwed up.”
“You and Eve were divorced, right?” He’d heard a bit about it from his brother, but he knew far more about the younger guys Michael worked with on a regular basis. Not that they had a bunch of romantic entanglements. Well, Boomer had that sandwich he was in love with…
“For years.” Alex’s face lost the whimsical expression. “She was assaulted while I was working a case and I treated her like she was made of glass. I was so afraid she could get hurt again, that I would hurt her again.”
“It’s not the same.”
“You keep saying that, but it is,” Alex insisted. “I wanted to wrap her up and never let anyone touch her again. It hurt her. It killed my marriage the first time around. I often think the world would have been very different if Charlotte hadn’t died. Faked her death. I wonder if I would have made the same choices with Ian and Charlotte as my guide. I’ve heard some stories about them before they got married. They got into some crazy stuff. One time apparently they were after the same guy, like assigned to assassinate the same dude.”
“He was a mobster,” a deep voice said. “She was assigned to kill him because he was going to turn on her syndicate. I was supposed to do it because he had killed an Agency operative and stolen valuable intel.”
Alex looked up as Tag walked in. Unlike Alex, he’d shucked his clothes and wore one of the hotel’s super-plush robes over what JT thought was likely his boxers. “I thought you would sleep.”
“I did for a while,” Tag said with a yawn. “Then I had a shitty dream and when I woke up I remembered there’s Scotch. It’s funny because I always think I’ll sleep better alone, and then I never do. I get cold without her. Now you were telling the story of me and Charlie and Russian No Balls. I call him that because Charlie shot his balls off before she put two in his chest. That woman is so sexy when she’s working.”
“You let her take your job?” It seemed inconceivable since what he knew of Tag was that he was a control freak.
Tag grabbed a glass. “I sat my pretty ass on the bed and watched her do it. I ate some very delicious chocolates because we happened to be in Belgium, and I made sure she was totally loose. Being loose is important when you’re sniping someone, and it’s a totally different experience than when I did it in the Army. In the Army they shove you in camo, give you a couple of MREs you can’t heat up, and tell you to lie in position for hours, sometimes days, at a time. That was not the way Charlie played it. No. She got a suite in the nicest hotel in Antwerp.” Tag snorted. “Antwerp…”
Alex groaned. “God, it’s like you’re still twelve. How about we skip how you kept Charlotte loose and get on to why you let her take out the bad guy?”
“She won rock paper scissors dick,” Tag replied. “Seriously, when you’re playing that don’t pick dick. Everything hurts dick. Despite what our culture says with all its man-up talk, dicks are seriously delicate. I should never have let her add that in. I thought dick could pee on paper, but she offered to paper cut my dick and I then handed that rifle over.”
“Ian,” Alex prompted.
Tag’s lips curled up. “Fine. I let her do it because she’s a better shot than me. I would let her do it today because she’s still a better shot at that range. My wife is one of the best operatives I’ve ever worked with, and there’s no one in the world I want watching my back more.”
“Who would you take in if you couldn’t take your wife?” Alex asked.
“I would take you, asshole,” Tag shot back. “You’re my best friend, and for some reason you still want me alive. Now if you and Charlie were out, I know exactly who I’m taking in and that’s Erin. I’m stealing her from Li because she’s smart and mean and doesn’t pull her punches. I can’t help the fact that some of my best employees are chicks. I didn’t hire them for their coffee-making skills. I hired them because they’re good at their jobs and they’re committed to doing what’s right. I’ve sent women into dangerous positions because they were my absolute best bet at getting a job done, and one day it will very likely be my daughters I send in. When they’re ready I won’t hesitate because I won’t ever treat them differently than I would my son. I won’t teach them they’re less. If they decide they want to teach school or cut hair, then good for them. They’ll give it their all, and I’ll do my best to make sure they’re safe. But my girls are probably going to follow in their momma’s footsteps, and that means they’ll throw themselves into the dangerous stuff because it’s their calling. I take it this conversation is about how JT fucked up?”
“Yeah, he still doesn’t understand,” Alex replied.
He hated feeling like everyone thought he was an idiot. “Look, I took all those training classes at Sanctum. I thought we were supposed to protect our subs. I know she’s not wearing my collar, but I want to work toward that.”
Ian snorted. “I don’t think Nina’s going to be that kind of sub.” He sighed and sat back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t make fun of you. It’s habit. You seem to have missed the part of class where we talk about there being no one way to have a D/s relationship. I think you’ll find Nina’s on the ‘keep it to the club’ level of submission. Have you not talked about this at all? About how you would behave out in the field?”
He felt himself flush. “I told her I would defer to her since she’s the pro.”
“And then the first chance you get you tell her you’re in charge,” Alex pointed out.
“Dick move,” Ian said. “Remember when I told you dicks are delicate. Yep, you proved my point.”
“Look, man, this would be a solid plan if Nina was your assistant,” Alex said.
“The funny thing is I wouldn’t even have thought of pulling Deanna out.” It was a tough admission to make. “One of the things I like about her is how solid she is. She’s rough and sometimes mean, but I don’t have to worry about her being…fragile. I do treat Deanna like I would any other employee.”
“Nina isn’t fragile either, and I for one wish I was going on this op because at some point in time that assistant of yours is going to get on Nina’s last nerve, and that’s when the wrestling begins,” Tag said. “Have the resort place handy women-sized vats
of your favorite gelatin product around the grounds and let them go at it.”
He seriously doubted Nina would lose her cool. Because she was a professional. Because she had a job to do and she took it seriously. “I don’t think I can stand it if she gets hurt.”
Tag took a drink and sat back. “Then you need to find a woman with a safer job.” He was quiet for a moment and then all sarcasm had been purged from his voice. “Is this about Dana?”
JT took a long breath and let it out. “Maybe partly. It gets easier over the years, but then something will remind me that she’s gone and I don’t know where she is. After all this time, I know she’s probably dead, but I wish I knew.”
“Chelsea is heartsick that she can’t find a trace of her,” Alex said. “It was one of the reasons she left the Agency and started this company with Adam.”
“But some people, despite all of our best efforts, are never found. We lose some, and that’s the hardest part of this job. We don’t always win, but we get up the next day and we strap on our armor and go back into the fight.” Tag gestured toward the hall that led to the master bedroom. “That’s what Nina does. You need to decide if that’s what you want. I’m not saying you can’t have an amazing partner if she doesn’t also snipe the bad guys. Avery O’Donnell is one of the finest women I’ve ever met, and she knows to duck when the bullets fly. Her strength is different but no less powerful. Nina needs to do her job to feel whole and complete. She will also need a partner who trusts her enough, who loves her enough, to take those risks with her.”
“And that might not be you,” Alex said with nauseating sympathy. “You should think about it.”
“I really do think Michael can do this.” Tag’s voice was soft, offering him a way out. “And he does need a haircut.”
He shook his head and finally took a long swig of that Scotch. It burned down his throat. “No. I’m going in with her. I’m going to find a way to win her back.”
