by Lexi Blake
“Can’t have free-range operatives,” he murmured. He’d thought about this all day, thought about how to reach her. “I hated today.”
She flushed, her skin going a sweet pink that let him know she wasn’t cold even under her chilly exterior. “I’m sorry. It should be over soon. The North Korean operative is on the island. I’m fairly certain this won’t take the whole week. Then we can be done.”
That was what he wanted to avoid. “I didn’t hate working with you. I hated not being close to you. I hated the fact that you’re frowning and it’s my fault.”
“It’s certainly not your fault.”
“Nina, I lied to you. I thought it didn’t mean anything at the time, and I’m going to be honest. I still don’t fully understand why it hurt you so much, but I want to. I want to understand everything about you so I don’t ever hurt you again.”
She seemed to suddenly find the floor endlessly interesting. “You won’t hurt me again.”
“Because you won’t give me another chance?” There seemed to only be silence between them. “I didn’t say this before but I’m sorry. Whether or not you’re willing to give me a chance, I am so sorry I hurt you. You’re important to me. Your happiness is important to me and the fact that I was the cause of your unhappiness is killing me.”
Her eyes came up, searching his. “Why?”
He would give her nothing but honesty from here on out. No matter how vulnerable it made him. “Because I’m pretty damn sure I’m falling in love with you. I think you’re the one for me and I think I’ll be lonely for the rest of my life if I’m not with you. It’s funny. I was lonely for a long time after Mike went into the Navy. I was used to him being close. He was always there. Since the moment we were conceived, my brother was next to me. I hate the fact that I didn’t see he needed so much more. I’m worried I’m making the same mistake with you.”
“I wouldn’t say I need more. I merely believe…I don’t think this can work between us.”
“Why?” he asked, desperate for the answer. “If you don’t want me, I will back off. It will kill me, but I don’t want to be that guy who tries to force his way into a woman’s life. But if it’s something else, I think we should talk about it.”
She hesitated for a moment. “It’s too much, too fast.”
“What should it be? How much time do you need because I’ll give it to you.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know that we can go back,” she admitted.
He couldn’t let her go. Not without one last try. “But sometimes things happen fast. We can’t shove them to the side because they didn’t happen on some timetable.”
“I’m going home to England when this job is done. I can’t…I can’t give up my career and let you pay for everything. It’s funny because I literally read these books all the time where that’s the happily ever after, but I’ve realized it’s not for me.” Before he could object, she held out a hand. She moved to the couch farthest from him and sank down. “I know you haven’t asked me to do that, but I think that’s what it will come down to. You’ll want me to travel with you. You’ll want me to host your dinners and do much of what I did tonight. I think I would lose myself in that kind of life.”
He hated the hollowness in her tone. “Okay, so we take a step back. You go home to England and maybe we talk. We slow things down.”
She stared at the glass doors that led to the balcony. “I don’t think we can go back. Tonight proved that. When you kissed me, I forgot every reason I was angry with you. None of it mattered.”
Frustration welled up inside him. “I don’t see how that’s a bad thing. I think it proves we can work.”
“It proves that I can’t think straight when I’m around you.” She turned his way. “I don’t know that I’ll be able to stay away from you.”
“I don’t want you to.” He moved to the sofa she was sitting on. “I’m not demanding that you stay here. I’m telling you I’m willing to take anything you give me. I’m willing to slow down and I’ll force myself to only call you once a week.”
“But I don’t think I’ll be able to leave if I give in.”
That was exactly how he wanted it. He moved in closer to her, letting his hand move over hers. If he could just get her in his arms, maybe all her doubt would be eased. Maybe what he really needed to do was take control. “Nina, you have the choice, but I think you’re stuck in an analysis loop. I think you want something that you can’t ask for.”
She looked down at the place where his hand covered hers, but she didn’t move away. “I don’t think I should ask for it at all. I think I should walk away, but I can’t make myself do it.”
He leaned in. “All you have to do is tell me no. Tell me to stop and I’ll sleep on the couch tonight.”
There was such longing in her eyes as she looked up at him. “This won’t solve any of our problems.”
He thought she was wrong about that. He believed if he could get her in bed, he could remind her of all the ways he could take care of her. It went past sex. He could make her feel loved and secure. He could show her that he would put her first.
It was a startling revelation that he’d finally found a relationship that came before his familial responsibilities, beyond the company he’d devoted his life to. If he pursued this thing with Nina, he might still have a passion for his job, but she would be first in his soul.
It should have scared him. In some ways it did. He’d lost a lot of people he’d loved, but he also knew that if he closed himself off, he would never have this warmth in his heart, never have this certainty that this woman made him feel complete in a way he never would if she walked away. He would always take this chance.
“Let’s take one night at a time,” he cajoled.
“I’m going to leave at the end of this job. I have to.” But she’d turned and her whole body seemed to have softened as though she was giving in even as she said the words. “I have to.”
He intended to show her she could be his and not lose herself. “Like I said, I’ll take whatever you will give me.”
“Liar. You’ll take everything.” Her hands came up and she drew his head down. “The question is will I let you.”
His lips touched hers and he didn’t care about anything but the feel of her in his arms. She was soft and sweet and she’d gone gloriously submissive.
They’d talked a lot about play, but he’d never spanked her. He kissed her long and deep, and then pulled back and hauled her over his knee.
A shudder went through her. “Yes. God, yes.”
It had been a long, rough day, and she needed an excuse to let out all that tension.
He needed this, too. Needed it like he needed air to breathe.
He dragged the pajama pants down, exposing her round, perfect ass. He let his hand run over the globes, loving how soft her skin was, anticipating how pretty it would be when it had a nice sheen of pink. “I’m going to give you fifty. Will that be enough?”
“If it’s not I’ll beg you for more.”
He would love to hear her beg, but he wouldn’t deny her. “Your safe word is a simple no, but I won’t make you say it. I’ll give you what you need.”
He placed his left hand on the small of her back and brought his right hand up and down in a short arc that sent a loud smack through the room, followed by the sweet sound of her moan as she held on to him.
“That’s exactly what I need. Please, JT.”
This was what they both needed. To be together. To connect in a unique way that spoke to them both. He let instinct lead him, counting in his head as he lovingly smacked her ass over and over. He was careful, peppering the smacks across her skin, trying not to miss a single inch.
He slowed as he approached fifty. His whole body was ready for sex, but he didn’t want this to end. The minute they were done, she would go back to being wary. He needed to make this last so they had time together, time to change her mind.
He stroked the flesh he’d slapped, fe
eling the heat trapped in her skin as she sighed and rubbed her cheek against his leg.
He let his hand ease between her legs and found the warmth of arousal he’d hoped to find there. Her pussy was slick and ready. He stroked her there, drawing out even more arousal. The spanking had done its job. It had relaxed her and gotten her ready for sex, but he wasn’t ready to stop playing yet. Her legs were still trapped in the pajama bottoms, but he could find what he needed.
He caressed his way over her pussy, parting the labia and massaging the silky skin there. He slipped a single finger inside, fucking her gently.
“Oh god,” Nina said, her breath picking up again.
“I missed you last night. I missed you like crazy.” He hadn’t known he could miss someone when they were physically with him, but he’d felt every moment of the distance between them like they were miles.
“I missed you, too. I’ve gotten used to sleeping with you,” she admitted.
He’d gotten used to waking up with his arms wound around her, her hair tickling his chest. She seemed to like to sleep with her head on his chest. He would wake up and just lie there until she stirred.
He continued to stroke inside her with his middle finger while he let the pad of his thumb find her clitoris. Like the rest of her pussy, it was ripe and ready, her spanking having prepped her for pleasure. Every soft moan that came from her let him know he was hitting all the right spots.
His cock pulsed, but he ignored it, concentrating everything he had on her. It would be his moment soon enough.
Her whole body stiffened and released as a fresh rush of arousal coated his fingers. She went limp over his lap.
He hated the thought of waking up without her, of spending a single day without her voice in his ear, her body in his arms.
She eased off his lap and managed to get to shaky feet. He worried for a moment that she would step away from him, but she merely kicked off the PJ pants and dragged the tank over her head, revealing the body he was crazy about. He took in her graceful curves and the way her nipples puckered.
“Tell me what you want from me,” she said, her voice thick with some unnamed emotion.
Everything. He wanted her heart and soul, but she wasn’t ready to give them to him, might never be ready for that. “You. Only you.”
She shook her head. “Play with me, JT. It’s all I can do now.”
He heard the weariness in her voice and felt it in his soul. If that was all she could give him, then he would take it. “What do I want? I want you on your knees. I want my cock in your mouth. I want you to suck me until I tell you to stop and then I want you to ride me until I can’t fuck you anymore.”
He would worry about the rest tomorrow. Tonight he would let everything go. He would be with her. They had days on this island. He would be patient and win her over the same way he’d done it in the first place—by showing her how he felt, by binding her in pleasure and intimacy.
He stood up and had her in his arms in an instant, easily hauling her up.
Her arms went around his neck as he carried her to the bedroom. “No one’s ever carried me before.”
He would do it every day. Her feet didn’t need to hit the floor.
“Except emergency services, but I don’t think that should count,” she said in a dreamy voice.
He did not need to hear that, but he wasn’t letting fear rule him. Besides, everything Big Tag and Alex had said to him he’d taken to heart. “That doesn’t count in any way.”
“Well, the nice lads who took me to hospital certainly didn’t do that first part,” she said on a sigh. “And I didn’t want to see either of them naked.”
That was also a good thing. He set her on her feet and dragged his shirt over his head. Her hand came up and touched his chest. His breath caught at the feel of her hand on his skin. It trailed down his chest to the buckle of his belt.
She dropped to her knees in front of him. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to get this cock in my mouth?”
He’d held her off because he’d wanted to give to her, but perhaps that had been a mistake. He sucked in a breath as she carefully unzipped his slacks and dragged them down his thighs. He’d taken off his shoes and socks when they’d gotten back to the room, so it was easy for her to toss his slacks aside.
Yes, it had been a mistake to not let her give to him. There was an eager look in her eyes that sparked his own need further. When she pulled down his boxers, his cock sprang free, hard and wanting everything she could offer him.
“Touch me.” He growled out the command, satisfied with how she immediately obeyed, her hand reaching for his cock and gripping him. “Yes, that’s exactly what I want. Stroke me.”
She did as he requested, her eyes on him. Her hand moved up and down his cock. He was hard, but the feel of her soft skin grasping him made him even harder.
“Lick me.”
Her lips curled up as though she knew that despite the fact she was on her knees, she was the one with all the power here. It was the beauty of the exchange. They both got what they needed. He got to pretend he had control and she got to understand exactly how much he wanted her. Needed her.
Her tongue came out and swiped across the head of his cock, sending heat flashing through his body. He watched as she sucked him between her lips lightly. It was a teasing caress. She settled back on her knees and drew him in again. His dick disappeared behind her lips, sinking into the silken heat of her mouth. She found a rhythm that threatened to send him over the edge. She pulled at him, giving him the barest scrape of her teeth. The tiny pain lit him up and he fisted her hair, gently guiding her on and off his cock.
He let her continue until the heat got to be far too much, until he could feel his balls draw up and prepare to shoot off. He wasn’t doing that in her mouth. He wanted the hot clasp of her pussy.
He tugged on her hair and stepped back, grabbing the condoms he’d put in his bag in a burst of optimism. With shaking hands, he rolled one over his cock and then moved back to her, offering to help her up. The minute she was on her feet, he pulled her into his arms and set his lips on hers. He didn’t play around. He immediately coaxed her mouth open and let his tongue surge in as he turned and moved her toward the bed.
They crashed down, their bodies molding together like they’d been made for each other. He felt the soft mattress as he settled against it.
He kissed her again and then let his head fall back. “I told you what I want. Don’t make me spank you again.”
Like that would happen. He wouldn’t have the patience to start over, but he didn’t want to stop the play.
She smiled like she knew what had just gone through his head. She kissed his jaw and then straightened up, straddling his hips. He could feel the heat of her pussy right where he needed it. “I believe you told me to ride you until you couldn’t fuck me a second longer.”
She rolled her hips and he hissed as pleasure swamped his every sense. She moved over him, rubbing against him and making him groan in a mix of frustration and bliss.
“Stop teasing me,” he managed to growl. Maybe he could spank her. And then fuck her senseless.
She shifted and he was right where he wanted to be. She lowered herself onto his cock, inch by glorious inch.
He let his hands find her hips, helping to guide her up and down. He slammed up, thrusting deep inside her and watching her as she moved over him with sensual grace. She was the single sexiest woman he’d ever seen, and it was about so much more than her gorgeous face and body. There was a glow about her that drew him in again and again.
She shuddered above him and let out the sweetest moan.
It was his turn. He flipped her onto her back and took complete control. She wrapped those long legs around his waist as he slammed into her. It wasn’t more than a few hard thrusts before he was careening over the edge, his whole body alive with pleasure.
He dropped down, letting her have his full weight. She merely wound her arms around him and held him tig
ht.
They lay that way for the longest time, unwilling to break the connection.
Chapter Ten
The buzz of her mobile brought her out of sleep long before she would have wanted. She was warm, her body sated and replete with the pleasure JT had lavished on her. After the first time, he’d slowed things down, but he hadn’t let her sleep until she’d come four more times. There was a delicious ache in her backside that reminded her of how good that man was at giving a spanking.
She glanced at the clock. Almost two in the morning.
She wanted to stay in bed with him, their bodies wrapped around each other like they fit together even though she was terrified they didn’t. In the dark she could pretend she never had to make a decision at all.
But the buzzing of that mobile reminded her she had a job to do. After all, only a few people had that number and not one of them would call at this hour if it wasn’t important. She eased out of bed, the mobile in her hand, and made her way to the luxurious bathroom in an attempt to not wake her sleeping billionaire.
Would things be different if he was a normal guy? If he was normal, he might be willing to move to be closer to her rather than being forced to insist on the opposite.
She closed the door between them and looked down at the screen.
Multiple suspects on the move. Sandra and the kid are tailing the boys, but the assistant is walking around the grounds acting sketchy as hell. I’m not sure if she’s high or drunk or making her play. Should I leave my monitor and follow her?
She quickly dialed his number. “Don’t move. I need you to keep eyes on everyone. Have you seen the spy?”
“I haven’t, but I suspect the drop is going to be somewhere I don’t have cameras,” Hutch explained. “I’m betting on the beach, since it would be easy to meet in the middle and they wouldn’t need a car.”
“Where is Deanna?” If Sandra and Drake were following the men, she could certainly take on JT’s assistant.
