The hairs on Catrin’s neck prickled. Something was amiss. Why would her mother talk to her before speaking with Mor about the agreement? Studying Trystan’s face, she could tell he already knew what her mother was about to say.
Rhiannon sipped some water from a cup and cleared her throat. “Cunobelin told Amren that his son, Adminius, refused to marry Mor. You can imagine the discord this caused the negotiations.”
Beaming with hope, Catrin blurted, “Does that mean Mor can marry Belinus instead?”
“Yes, she is released from any obligations. But …” Rhiannon inhaled and released a long heavy sigh. “Adminius wants to marry you, instead. Cunobelin and your father agreed.”
Shocked, Catrin could feel the blood rush from her face and her heart sinking like the sun into a night sky. Numb, she stared vacantly at her shaking hands. Her thoughts muddied. How can this be? Why does Adminius get the choice? Not me? How could I ever live with a man I hardly know? Oh, gods, no … Marrock! What will he do to me, so near, so deathly close? Is this Rhan’s curse? Is it rewriting itself? Am I now cursed? This can’t be. This can’t be. I cannot let this happen!
In stunned silence, Catrin lifted her head and regarded the queen’s face that reminded her of a death mask. Why would her mother treat her with such brutal decorum usually reserved for treacherous nobles? She shifted her eyes to Trystan. He dropped his dampened eyes. Why was he sad, but not her mother? The floor seemed to collapse underneath her feet, and she felt herself adrift on a vast ocean watching images stream like clouds across the sky. From above, Marcellus reached for her from a horse-driven chariot. When she grasped for his hand, she gripped her own fist.
Marcellus disappeared into a fog. In his place, her mother’s stern face appeared.
Catrin blinked hard, but she couldn’t obliterate her bleak future. Her mother was waiting for a response. Choking back sobs, she rasped, “I … I cannot do this.”
Rhiannon lightly touched Catrin’s arm. “I know this is hard not to choose your own husband. I assure you it is for the best. Mor cannot fulfill this obligation. You can. No one binds you.”
Tears swelled in Catrin’s eyes. “The sacrifice you ask of me will be my doom!”
“Cunobelin is ready to withdraw his support for Marrock, only if you do this,” Rhiannon said with urgency in her voice. “Don’t you see? Mother Goddess has shown us the way. You can bring peace to our kingdoms.”
At the moment, Catrin was drowning in lost moments she had hoped to share with Marcellus. She asked bitterly, “How long have you known Father was bartering me instead of Mor?”
Rhiannon stammered, “The final agreement … well, it takes time … to hammer out, to forge, that is. It may not have worked. So we waited until it was done.”
Catrin could feel her jaw quivering with anger. “You did not answer me. Did you do this when you caught Marcellus in bed with me?”
The queen’s steely silence answered what Catrin suspected in her heart. Her mother would do anything to thwart her blooming relationship with Marcellus. She slowly rose, pressed her hands on the tabletop, and defiantly glared. “I will not do this!”
“It is already done.” Rhiannon reached over the table and clawed sharp fingernails around Catrin’s wrist to reinforce the finality of the decision.
Catrin recoiled from the pain and yanked her arm away. The room spun around her as she moved toward the doorway.
“Where are you going?” Rhiannon shouted.
Catrin halted, turned, and glared at her mother. “I promised Marcellus that I would ride with him today. Belinus is also waiting.”
Rhiannon bolted up from the chair. “You cannot pretend this is not happening. I ask you but once, do you accept your duty?”
Catrin reeled herself out of drowning emotions, and she anchored a fist into her other hand.“You have given me no choice. At least, for today, allow me to bid farewell to Marcellus. Is that too much to ask before I am sacrificed?”
Rhiannon regarded Catrin for a moment, then blew out an exasperated breath. “This is it, the last time. At all times, stay with Belinus. Do not say a word to either man about what has happened. I will speak privately with Mor and Belinus later. After today, you will be confined to your room until the wedding ceremony. Do not buck me on this!”
Sizzling with rage, Catrin left without a further word.
Reaching the isolation of the corridor, she collapsed against the hard rock wall, her head pounding as if she was being stoned to death. I have no choice, no choice. I am nothing, nothing but a farm animal to be auctioned off. A commoner has more rights. How can the gods be so cruel? This is Father’s curse, not mine. Why must I suffer for his sins?
A slight nudge on the shoulder startled Catrin, and she bumped into Trystan. He steadied her by gripping her arm and said, “Please don’t be angry at your mother. She loves you more than you realize. She may not show it, but she is anguished to see you in so much pain.”
“Then why doesn’t she tell me this herself?” Catrin said bitterly. “You, above all others, should know how much she resents marrying my father, but yet, she forces me to do the same.”
“She selflessly did her duty,” Trystan said firmly. “In doing so, she stopped a war and saved her people from slaughter. She helped forge an alliance between two tribes. You can do the same.”
Though Trystan’s words rung with truth, Catrin could see in his downcast eyes that his heart must have also been ripped out of his chest as hers was now. What else could explain why he never took a wife? She asked bluntly, “What about you? Do you agree with my mother’s decision?”
Trystan stared at Catrin for a moment before answering, “I believe in the king and the queen. I do what they command.”
The deep groove of anguish on Trystan’s brow told Catrin otherwise. She turned her back on him and stomped down the dark corridor. This would be her last ride with Marcellus and she would make the most of it.
27
Apollo’s Amulet
Marcellus regarded Catrin for a moment, then pulled off an amulet around his neck and put it around hers.
Later that morning, Catrin silently rode alongside Marcellus and Belinus on the dismal riverside pathway, her heart wrenched from the resentment digging at her core. She feared Rhan’s curse had forced her father to negotiate with Cunobelin from a weakened vantage. The curse was now her doom. She would pay the ultimate price of sacrificing her happiness to ensure Cunobelin withdrew his support of Marrock.
As they approached the cave, Catrin sensed Marcellus’s eyes on her. More than ever, she needed to feel his warm arms around her, but doing so would only make it harder for her to accept the upcoming marriage. She avoided his eyes and shifted her weight on the horse to look around for Mor. Catrin’s chest tightened when she could not find her.
Oh, gods. She is not coming.
Overcome with crushing emotion, Catrin gasped. Any fleeting moments with Marcellus would forever be lost. Everything blurred through the tears forming in her eyes.
Look away. Don’t let Marcellus see me like this!
Then in a corner of her eye, Catrin glimpsed Mor emerging from the woods. The heavy weight lifted from her chest when she saw Belinus dismount, a grin bursting across his face. He ran and embraced Mor, lifting her off the verdant ground.
Catrin felt momentary joy watching Belinus take Mor’s hand and lead her into the cave. Then bitterness that her parents had been so cruel began eating at her. She bit her lower lip hard until she tasted blood. If the king had not mandated she use her charms to mine information from Marcellus, she would not now be plunging headfirst into his flame. She decided then to burn in the moment rather than live the rest of her life in cold ashes.
She turned her gaze to Marcellus, whose eyes sparkled like violet gemstones in the bright sun. He struck her as a god astride his majestic black steed. A warm flush spread acr
oss her face when he asked, “Are you ready to finish our ride?”
“Can you keep up with me?” she jested.
Marcellus smirked. “I have yet to be left behind. Has anyone followed us?”
With the danger that someone might catch them, Catrin darted her eyes all around and confirmed they were alone. She said, “I don’t see anyone. Only Belinus was charged to watch us.”
“Where do we go from here?” asked Marcellus, his eyes firmly fixed on her.
“To the Ancient Oak near the river.”
He grinned. “The same place you showed me last week?”
“Yes, not far from here.”
Catrin kneed her horse onto the pathway and Marcellus joined her. As they rode, she cupped her ear with a hand, listening intently for any change in the birds’ chatter that would signal any unwelcome visitors. A flock of wrens in some bushes vibrantly chirped with no care in the world. On a high branch of a beech tree was a sleeping brown-faced, horned owl.
From overhead, the mocking cackle from a raven disrupted the sweet melodies of the forest.
Marcellus looked up. “Is that your raven?”
Catrin tilted her head back to watch her raven fly to another tree. “Yes, it follows me everywhere I go. It is like my eyes.”
“How is that?”
“It warns me of danger.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Is that how you view me now? You’ve hardly said a word since we left the village. I find it strange that Belinus would risk the queen’s ire by leaving us alone.”
Cautious about not revealing Mor’s secret, Catrin replied, “Mor needs to speak with him in private.”
Marcellus reined his horse closer to her. “You must realize your sister is playing a dangerous game with Belinus. And you are playing fire with me.”
Catrin’s throat clutched. “I wanted to speak to you about our future.”
Marcellus stared at Catrin for a moment, then dismounted and grabbed the reins of her horse. “Why don’t you tell me what is on your mind? You’ve been close to tears ever since we left the village.”
Annoyed with herself for showing her angst, Catrin bristled. “I am fine!”
“Your face tells me otherwise.” Marcellus moved to the side of her horse and placed a hand below her foot to help her down.
Clamping her legs tight against the horse, she blurted, “Why should I trust you?”
He stepped back with a stunned look. “Did I say something to offend you?”
Inexplicably enraged, Catrin glowered. “Mother warned me about you, that you would seduce me for information. I told you about Marrock, yet you refuse to tell me why Rome supports this monster over my father.”
Marcellus stared into her eyes. “And what do you offer in exchange for this information?”
“I do not understand.”
“You accuse me of trying to seduce you to get information. Is that not your game also?”
Catrin huffed. “No!”
Marcellus shifted his feet. “All right, I’ll freely give you the information you seek. Rome’s support for Marrock is not set in stone. When I see my father again, I will speak against supporting your half-brother. There, does that make you feel better?”
Catrin jumped off her horse and pushed against Marcellus. She blurted, “What else have you not told me?”
He gripped her by the shoulders. “I should ask the same of you. What did your mother say this morning to put you in such a foul mood?”
All caution tossed aside, she said, “That you are sexually experienced. And … and you want more from me …” She froze when he tightened his hold and leaned closer, almost touching her face.
“You already know that about me,” Marcellus said. “I never hid my desire for you.”
Catrin pursed her lips. “Is that what you are doing now? Seducing me for information?”
Marcellus took a step back, his eyes ablaze. “Gods, woman! After all the time we have spent together, is that what you believe? What is this really about? You said you wanted to talk about our future.”
Catrin fought back the tears swelling in her eyes. “How can we have a future together if we are duty-bound to serve our fathers?”
He pulled her flush against him. “That is why we cannot let this moment escape. Right now, I want you more than life itself. I thought you felt the same, but something is standing in the way. I need to know what.”
“What if I told you my father has agreed to marry me to Cunobelin’s son, instead of Mor?”
Marcellus stepped back, his mouth flung open. “Is that what your mother told you?”
“Yes, my father bartered me off like one of his prized cows!” Catrin raged. “I’m a princess and deserve better than this. I choose my own husband. I’m sure Mother told Father to force me to marry Adminius. She wants to punish me because of my feelings for you, an enemy.”
Marcellus again pulled Catrin into his arms. “I am not your enemy. The thought of another man touching you makes my heart wrench. I’m also put in the same position. My father has complete authority to arrange my marriage as it will serve his ambitions.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Catrin asked, pushing him back. “If that is the case, why don’t you confront your father about forcing you to marry someone you do not love? Tell me, have you played with my emotions only to bed me, as Mother accuses?”
Marcellus slowly shook his head, his eyes reaching for hers. Catrin, unable to stop the tears, spun around and clutched herself to ease the stab in her heart. Then she felt his strong hands turn her around into his embrace, and he hungrily searched for her mouth—the kiss so ravenous that she could hardly breathe. Her need for him could no longer be denied. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck pulling him closer, her body molding into his.
After what seemed like a lifetime, he released the kiss and proclaimed, “I choose you, Catrin.”
The blue flames of his eyes burned away all her doubt about her next step. She glanced around for a place where they could lie down together. Seeing a cluster of violets, she pointed. “Over there, I can roll out a pelt.”
Marcellus nodded and gave her another lingering kiss. They reluctantly parted, so he could tether their horses while she smoothed out the wolf pelt, the fur’s sensual scent permeating the air.
After taking care of the horses, Marcellus held Catrin as she caressed his face, her hand pale against his rich olive skin. In turn, he traced her cheekbone with a forefinger and rubbed her lower lip. “So what did you want to show me?”
She interlaced her fingers with his. “Before you return to Rome, I want to show you this sacred site where we pray and make wishes. Look on the ground and tell me what you find.”
Marcellus knelt beside the Ancient Oak, picked up a wooden votive and handed it to Catrin. She fingered the carved woman flanked by two horses and said, “This is Epona, the goddess of fertility. Couples come here to make offerings, so she will bless them.”
Marcellus lifted his brow. “Epona. Cavalrymen pray for her to protect their horses. I’m not sure what this has to do with us.”
From her pouch, Catrin pulled out a gold torc with bulbous horse heads on both ends, and she placed it around his neck. “This is my gift to show you my love. Before Mother Goddess, I pledge myself as wife to you.”
At first, Marcellus appeared baffled, but then his eyes lit up. He smiled. “My sweet love. Are you sure you want to do this? Our families will never recognize our consummation as marriage.”
Catrin tilted her head back to stare into his sparkling eyes. “I am not a child. I pledge myself to you, so Mother Goddess will forever bind our souls and no one can break that bond.”
Marcellus lifted her chin and said what she most wanted to hear, “I also pledge my love to you. I want this moment to be special for both of us.”
For several seconds, he quietly gazed at her face and finally said, “I want to explore all our feelings in this sacred place. To begin our journey together, we must join our bodies. Let me release you of your clothes.”
An excited breath caught in Catrin’s throat as he unbuckled her sheathed sword and dropped it on the ground. Her desire heightened when he unclasped the gold broach from her cloak and brushed his fingers over her bare shoulder as he took the garment off. He pulled her against his chest and whispered, “Close your eyes.”
Trying to contain a nervous giggle, Catrin squeezed her eyelids shut. As he fumbled at the bindings of her leather bodice, she trembled from his touch. He told her in a honeyed voice, “Relax, my love.”
Catrin swallowed hard with excited anticipation as he pulled the lacing out of the notches of her chest armor and parted the leather flaps. The palm of his hand slid over each breast like a warm gentle wave. She thought her heart would soar into her throat when he kissed a nipple.
Oh, sweet Mother Goddess, she wanted to look at his face. Opening her eyes, she found Marcellus smiling at her. He tapped her on the nose. “No, Catrin, keep those pretty eyes closed.”
She did as instructed and stood still as his fingers peeled off her bodice, exposing her. He captured a breast in the heat of his hand and moaned, “Sweet Venus,” his finger and thumb slowly rubbing the nipple. The circling motion mesmerized her as he moved his hand over to her other breast.
He suddenly pulled away.
Bewildered, Catrin opened her eyes and saw him pulling off his gold shirt to reveal his bare chest. The dark hair that wisped from his navel to below his long-hung trousers drew her eyes. She loosened the straps to his breeches and slowly moved her hand beneath the waistband.
He flinched. “What are you doing?”
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