“You don’t have to lie,” she said.
Nell stirred in her crib, and even though she didn’t fuss I went to her. Reached for her. Feeling her against me, warm and perfect, the emptiness didn’t matter as much. I buried my face against her neck, soaking her in. Leah sat on my bed.
“It was an accident,” I whispered. I steadied my breath and eased Nell onto the comforter next to my sister. I loved watching her sleep. Leah leaned in, too. We sat like that for a while, Nell between us.
“You know how I feel about him,” Leah said at last. I stroked Nell’s hand and sighed deeply. I did know. She’d made that perfectly clear for more than a year. “Why do you put up with it? You deserve so much better.”
I rolled my eyes and crawled toward the pillow, lifting the ice pack. “I’m tired,” I murmured.
Leah flounced toward the headboard and grabbed the other pillow, bed creaking.
“Don’t wake her up!”
My sister winced as Nell squirmed. The last thing I wanted to deal with was an overtired, screaming baby. Thankfully, she didn’t open her eyes. I shot Leah a look. Think a little.
But inside I was glad she was there. No words needed, and nothing complicated. Just us sisters.
“Do you think I’ll ever get married?” Leah whispered.
I snorted softly. My sister was a weirdo. “Probably, many, many years from now.” I turned, my hair catching on the cotton pillowcase. “Where’d that idea come from?”
My sister slid her hands under her cheek and stared at me across the bed. “I was just thinking about it today….Will you be my maid of honor?”
“You’re engaged?” Nell twisted and I grimaced. Quieter, I said, “You can’t get married until you’re eighteen.”
“I know that.” She pinched the base of her nose. “I mean when I find the right guy. God, relax.” Her eyes met mine. “I was just thinking that I want you beside me in the church.”
I reached over to smooth a rebellious cowlick above her forehead. “Of course. I’d be honored.” I gave her a serious look. “But you better raise your standards a little. Benjamin doesn’t seem to have much going for him.”
“I’m going to marry Aaryn,” Leah said, rolling onto her back.
I shook my head, a smile pulling my mouth. “Quit it. He’s too old for you.”
“Age won’t mean anything once I turn eighteen. That’s the kind of guy I want to marry—someone hot and sweet.” She turned fast. “Do you think he’s rich?”
“How would I know?” I resituated the ice pack and exhaled shakily. “We don’t get time to talk about his personal life.”
Leah bolted upright. “Time to talk? What do you mean, time to talk?” She bounced a little closer. “You didn’t tell me you talked.”
“He’s partnering me,” I said, like she should have known. Her wide eyes amused me. “Danny was busy, so Aaryn volunteered to help in his place.”
Leah gaped. “Wow. That’s nice of him.” She shrunk back and squinted a little, pursing her mouth, lost in her own thoughts. The ice cracked as it began to thaw.
“It’s just one piece,” I said. “Once you’re eighteen he’s all yours.” Then I turned over, not liking the expression on her face. That smug look, like she thought she’d uncovered a secret about me.
“You can have him,” Leah whispered. She sounded so earnest. She nestled Nell between us and carefully stretched out. “I was just kidding about before.”
“Thanks but no thanks.” I stared at the wall as my heartbeat quickened; my gaze following the edge of the only print I owned of The Ballerina Project, my favorite photo series of dancers posed all over New York City and beyond—feet arched on Broadway, arms outstretched with Long Island City in the background.
Through the window I found the moon and let the thin crescent of light slip out of focus.
Day 18
Karma sped the entire way to rehearsal, her music playing unusually loud. “I just love this weather,” she said as we pulled into the parking lot. “This has got to be one of the nicest falls we’ve ever had in Lakefield.”
“Yeah,” I said.
She hurried into the studio while I followed with careful steps, the screen door nearly smacking the side of my nose.
“Whoops!” she said.
And in that moment when she turned, I got a good look at the cut, a dark line along her eyebrow with ragged edges. Danny was such a creep.
“So, back to the grind,” she said, meaning dance. “I’ll go change.”
“Okay.”
She gave a dramatic sigh when she scraped the changing stall curtain in place, though she definitely didn’t make eye contact. I sat on the bench. Studied my knuckles, which were sore from yesterday.
“You’re feeling good enough for rehearsal, right?” she asked. Her voice was muffled. My hands held the edge of the seat.
“I felt fine until I got a good look at what he did to your face.”
The silence that followed grew into an enormous sound, throbbing in my ears. Karma emerged with a frown so deep, I sort of felt like an asshole. “Sorry,” I mumbled, but I wasn’t that sorry. She couldn’t pretend last night hadn’t happened. I didn’t care how great the weather was—she couldn’t make up some story about what Danny had done to her, because I knew what I’d seen and—
To my right, the door slammed. “Well,” Juliette said. “You’re back. We need to get to work.” Her flip-flops made a slapping sound as she paraded past us with a stern expression. “Danny’s not going to ram over here tonight, right? I can’t have problems like that at my school.”
“He’s at Dmitri’s,” Karma said.
“Good.”
Karma’s mood seemed to be darkening by the second. I hung back as she walked to the center of the room, hoping she’d sense that I didn’t want to hurt her, only help her.
The music blasted and Juliette didn’t waste time, clapping beats and shouting at us, but Karma lost her footing once, then twice. Touching her felt wrong when she was mad at me. I moved my arms the way Juliette had shown me and held Karma for the pirouette, but it was hard to focus on her, especially when she might meet my eyes.
“This isn’t working,” Juliette said. “Let’s take ten.” She faced Karma with one eyebrow perked, mouth in a sour circle, like she expected her niece to leave all her emotion at the door and focus. Like it should be simple. Juliette left. Instead of shrinking when Karma tried to walk by me, I moved into her way.
“What?” Karma asked. She rolled her eyes.
“Something’s bothering you. Are you pissed at what I said?”
“I just wish everyone would leave me alone.”
“You know we can’t. I’m worried about you. A lot’s happened.”
Karma stretched her neck and eased onto the floor in a split. She picked at an imperfection in the wood with her fingertip. “Danny told me about the school meeting.”
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat and shrugged a couple of times to help shake off the reality of the past twenty-four hours. “Walt fired me.”
Losing my job for punching Danny was bad, but not as bad as things were between us now. If we did cross paths again, which was pretty unlikely given that I wasn’t his coach, he’d probably want to beat me up. Plan B? I had nothing. What I did have was a growing realization that my mission on Earth was totally screwed.
“He shouldn’t have said anything,” Karma said. “I mean, the fight was a total misunderstanding. I tried to tell him that, but he didn’t care.”
“Well, too late now.”
Big shock here: getting Danny to propose by punching his face hadn’t worked.
“I don’t like fighting,” Karma said. “It’s unattractive.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me—when I saw you were hurt I just snapped, out of instinct.”
“He wanted me to kick you out of the competition.”
“He did?” And, wow. The thing that scared me the most? For a second, all I care
d about was not being able to spend time with her. Something was really wrong with me, especially since I only had seventy-two days left on Earth.
She brushed her hair forward until it covered half the mark. “I told him it was too late. You’re the only one who knows the piece.”
“I don’t want to come between you and your boyfriend,” I said. Being reasonable. Karma was nodding really fast.
“Oh, I know. I agree—yes. We’d have to stop if he asked me to.”
Well. He had asked her to kick me out. “I guess he probably hates me, huh?”
“Yeah.” Her voice was soft. Almost afraid. “But he won’t come back here again. He promised.”
“I’m sure he’d like to land a few punches on me.”
“He’s not going to do anything.”
Neither of us was too sure.
“Well, whatever. I’m not going to worry about it,” I said. I tugged her up, liking the fact that she bumped against my chest. Danny couldn’t stop us. He’d tried and she’d said no. “The most important thing we can do now is focus on your scholarship. We can do better.” I held my hands out. “We can win this.”
A little smile lifted her mouth. “Oh?”
“Yes. I’ll work harder. You deserve to win.”
You deserve a life.
“Hmm.” Karma sauntered over to the sound system and pressed play, then tiptoed in front of me fast. Her waist fit against my hand in a perfect curve. “Ready?” I felt the vibration of her voice. She twisted and I held her, softened my grip, and pulled her back with my hands. Strong girl. Beautiful girl. Dancing with me. Maybe Danny hated me, and maybe he’d never be nice to her, but this was nice. She spun again, talking through the steps to stay in sync.
There had to be a way to fix things with Danny. I’d think of a plan. Soon. We stumbled a little but found our places again without mentioning it. We went on like that for many moments. She fell back and caught herself on my arm.
“I’ve got you,” I said. She shook her head, smiling, and tested her balance as she rose. It was a while before we realized Juliette was watching.
“Oh, hey,” Karma said, and for some reason she took two steps away from me.
“That was good.” Juliette sipped her tea. “You two look great out there. Really great.”
“I’ve got a ways to go,” I said, and chuckled, though it didn’t change the electric mood in the air. Why did it feel like we’d been busted? Karma practiced her way to the big windows and acted very interested in whatever she’d found outside.
“It’s such a nice night,” she said. Then the room got so quiet it seemed to roar.
“I’m heading out,” Juliette announced. She tipped her cup against her mouth. “You two work as long as you like.”
“Where are you going?” Karma asked. Her eyes were round when she turned.
“Just out. The other girls went to a movie. They’ll be back before nine.”
“Oh.”
“We can work on the lift tomorrow. You don’t need anything from me, right?”
“I guess not.”
Juliette looked at me, then left, the door closing softly behind her. The sound of her car tires crackling against the gravel gave me a chill.
“I guess we better get back to work,” Karma said.
“Yeah.” Were my hands okay? I shook them out, but my heartbeat only got more ridiculous. Okay. Enough. I had to focus. Make a new plan and get Danny to marry her. Get back to Mount Olympus.
My hands slid onto her waist.
—
An hour passed. Karma danced hard all the way through and grabbed us a couple of waters when she noticed the sweat on my face.
“I think that’s enough for tonight,” she said. She held up her phone. “Danny texted. He’s picking up Nell for a sleepover. Giving me a break. Isn’t that nice?”
“Is he okay watching her?” I asked.
“He’s her dad. And Judy will be there to help. She’s raised four boys.” She was still breathing heavily from practice.
“Oh.”
“Can you kill the lights?” she asked. “I want to show you something.”
I turned the light switch off.
“Isn’t that cool?” she asked.
The pond behind the studio danced with light. The strands were strung around the dock pillars, creating an outline. I tried to ignore the fact that I wanted her in my arms again.
“Sometimes I dance out there,” she said. “It was my favorite place to go when I was little. Just me and the water and the dock under my feet.”
“Sounds like a great childhood.”
“It was, for the most part. I just wish my mom hadn’t struggled so much, with Dad being gone. Raising two girls by herself wasn’t easy.” I felt her face turn to me. “I’ve never really known my father.”
“Oh. Wow. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not that big a deal. I mean, it is, obviously. I probably have deep-seated daddy problems, but between my mom and Juliette and Nell keeping me busy, I’ve never had much time to think about the bad stuff.” She seemed to be convincing herself more than me. Her hands clapped together. “I should teach you how to swim.”
I guess Danny had filled her in on my inability to even tread water. “Sure.” My adrenaline shot up. “I’m game.”
“Come on, Jones. The next lesson begins.”
Before I could do the foolish thing I was thinking and pull her close, she headed out of the studio and led us to the pond.
The school grounds felt really wild in the dark, like we were going on an adventure. Crickets sang from the woods.
“What do I need to know?” I asked.
She was wearing her dance clothes—spandex—and as always, they looked good. They’d probably feel amazing in the water, all slippery and smooth. No.
There would be none of that.
I took off my shirt and kind of hoped she’d notice, which officially made me a freak who didn’t listen to common sense. Getting into the water with her seemed more and more like a terrible idea. She was staring at my bare chest. Decision made.
Water sloshed around me as I walked in, my toes sinking into the sediment.
“Look at that,” she said. There was a line of silver in the water from the moon, but I didn’t spend much time admiring it. The water came up to her chest, curving there.
“I love it here,” she said. “This is my place.” She grazed the water with her hands.
“Are you cold?” I asked. I didn’t think, I just moved right behind her until her shoulder blades pressed against my chest. “Maybe we should practice in the water.”
“What?” she said. I heard the smile in her tone.
“Let’s try it.” And I placed my hands on her hips, noting that the spandex did feel as good in the water as I’d thought, and a way crazier idea of tracing her neck with my mouth practically choked me with desire. Just as my cheek brushed the side of her hair, she dove under and swam away.
“Hey!” I said. The feel of her wake rippled against me.
She bobbed up, grinned, and made a bad attempt to splash me.
“There are only two things you have to remember,” she said. Her voice sounded small. “The first is not to panic. The second is to move your arms and legs like you’re dancing. That way you won’t sink.”
“But I’m not good at dancing!”
“You know how to dance.” She demonstrated the swim stroke above the surface. “Go a little deeper and try it.”
The water came up to my neck. She was out there in the reflection of the lights, the dark woods—there was no denying the moment between us.
Go to her.
I did, though not as gracefully as I’d hoped, my eyes just above water. She smiled as I drew closer and rolled away from me in the water, twisting, and I began to paddle, splashing to keep up with her.
“You’re swimming!”
The water didn’t feel cold at all.
“What do you think?” she asked.
�
��Awesome.” But water got in my mouth. I imagined I looked pretty stupid half thrashing around. So much for my cool act.
“What are you going to do if I drown?” I asked, coughing a little, not great at avoiding the drink.
“Drag you to shore and give you mouth-to-mouth?”
I held my breath and faced her, my head going under.
“Not falling for it,” she said.
I thought I had the whole swimming thing figured out, but when I finally burst through the surface I was coughing, and Karma had to pull me along and smack my back a bunch of times.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “You shouldn’t mess around like that.”
“Well, you dragged me to shore,” I said. “Next part?” I let out a whoop as she smashed water toward my face. I started to swim strong, back toward the center of the pond.
“You’re bad,” she called. Then she ran in and began to power swim toward me. I met her, churning water as fast as I could. We were laughing and out of breath. Water beaded on her face and gathered in her eyelashes, both our heads bobbing. When I ducked for shore, she joined me, and once we could touch, I took her hand.
“Spin for me,” I said, like I wasn’t just trying to hold her hand.
She twisted, slippery thing that she was, and looked really, really happy. “The water feels good after dance, doesn’t it?”
“Yes.” There was a lot that felt good about our swim lesson, and a lot that felt scary, but I wasn’t about to elaborate. The water swirled as she turned again, using my hand for support.
“There’s something forbidden about this, like we’re Johnny and Baby,” she said, but her tone was light. “Like we shouldn’t be spending time together. I don’t know.” She seemed fine with hanging on to my hand.
“Wait—who and Baby? Your baby?”
“Baby from Dirty Dancing,” she said. “You know, the old movie with Patrick Swayze?”
“Never heard of it.”
She splashed my face, which kind of annoyed me until I opened my waterlogged eyes to find her shaking her head.
Arrows Page 10
