I popped a cheese curd into my mouth. “Wow.”
“Wisconsin’s famous for them,” Karma said. Her tone was flat.
“Are you okay?”
“I guess.”
“I think we’ve got a good list there.” Maybe mentioning the party would put her in a better mood.
“No, I guess—just no, I’m not okay. I can’t believe you’re moving. I know there aren’t many jobs in Lakefield, but there must be something, somewhere. What kind of career do you want, anyway?”
“Karma.” I stopped chewing, the wine suggesting I say things that I knew I shouldn’t. Instead of telling her we could never be together, I placed my hand over hers. Her eyes darted to meet mine. Soft knuckles and wrist. A shiver went through me. She didn’t pull away. “I have to go. You’re with Danny. I don’t have a future in Lakefield.”
The musician picked at the strings of his guitar. After thinking about what I’d said, Karma turned her hand over and squeezed. “I’ll really miss you.” She said this with a short nod, blinking fast, and took her hand back. She turned to the music.
A plan I could partly blame on that glass of wine was starting to come together, a really, really far-fetched idea. Blackout lasted three months. Failed gods were sent there as humans with no memory of their former lives. No one really knew how it worked, but I did know the humans were rehabilitated—given new identities, given a trade, and prepared for release into society.
If I waited until the last day of my mission to shoot Karma with the lead arrow—day ninety—and failed my mission before I could use Tek’s chip…
“What if I come back to Lakefield three months after I move?” I blurted out. “Would you still be my friend?”
Karma raised one eyebrow. “Should I, uh, add that to your bucket list?”
“Karma, I’m serious.”
“Serious about what? Moving or still being my friend or—”
“If I move away for a while, I, uh, might not remember you. At least not as well as I do now.” More like not at all.
“Nice.”
“So you wouldn’t talk to me?”
She sighed and shook her head. “You know that’s stupid to say.”
“I could get a tattoo that says Lakefield, Wisconsin. You know, to make it official. Make sure I come back.”
“Okay, if you think that’s a good idea, go ahead. Maybe you should add That one girl Karma to your tat. Or No regrets.”
“I’m serious. The tattoo would work.”
“I think you better lay off the wine.”
Nell started fussing, which was probably a good thing, since I needed time to think things through. Karma kissed Nell all over when she picked her up, and the two of them looked really cute sitting there, Nell with her mom’s eyes, both of them a little distraught.
The tattoo might work—a permanent reminder that I had to go there after Blackout, one the gods couldn’t change. The lead arrow would work, definitely, no doubt in my mind that she’d leave Danny right away once she wasn’t under the arrow’s spell. And then she’d have room for me.
If I stayed…
We could be together. Her spell would be broken, and she’d remember these moments. She’d remember: I’ll really miss you. I wouldn’t need my memory to realize she was amazing.
I sat back. I felt weirdly excited, and it wasn’t because of the wine. I had a choice. My destiny was not as preplanned as I’d always allowed myself to believe. Choice was power.
I wanted to stay, wanted her, and for the first time since I’d landed I knew there was a chance.
That night Peyton and I were up late. The hotel room was dark except for a gap where the curtain didn’t fully close, and through that space the city was out there, the streetlights and traffic, no stars visible in the sky.
“I can’t believe it’s all over,” I said. Juliette was on her side in the bed across from us, snoring. Nell was in a playpen next to me. The other girls were in the adjoining room and they were probably up, too, wired from everything that had happened. Aaryn was down the hall. Room 223. I placed my hand under my cheek.
“It was an amazing day,” Peyton whispered.
The room felt hot. I flipped the sheet off my side and rolled onto my back. Darkness, gray foreign darkness in a room that smelled like food and dust and too many people.
Peyton sat up on her elbow. “Tell me more about your adventure.”
Somewhere in the distance a siren wailed, and little kids were running up and down the hall, their feet pounding. The hotel room was so different from what we were used to. It felt like we were in a place where anything could happen.
I told her everything—the part about Aaryn moving, the bucket list, him coming back in three months. I rolled over to face my friend. “He said he’s getting a tattoo that says Lakefield, Wisconsin.”
“That’s weird,” Peyton said, leaning close. “Why bother moving?”
“I know.”
She smoothed the blanket beneath her arms, then started picking at her nails. “Did you talk to Danny?”
I covered myself and sank down a few inches. “I texted him.”
“Oh.” Like she knew he hadn’t replied.
—
“What was your favorite part of the trip?” Aaryn asked. We were on our way home, all of us a little sad to go, and all of us stuck in some morning-after daze. The girls offered an obligatory glance over their shoulders at him. Aaryn held up his hand. “Mine was when Karma danced her solo.” He smiled at me, to his left. “Actually the whole trip was my favorite part.”
My face was on fire. I pulled my knees up to my chin, comfy and content in yoga pants and one of Danny’s old sweatshirts.
“Well.” Svetlana hooked her arm over the seat. “My favorite was meeting Harry. He’s such a good dancer. You guys should have seen him.”
Monique blew a laugh through her mouth.
“What? He’s named after the prince.”
“I didn’t say anything about that,” Monique said. Svetlana rolled her eyes and settled against the window with her phone, presumably so she and Harry could send love notes. We were all overtired and all on the brink of misinterpreting things. Juliette merged onto the freeway.
Peyton leaned over to our side and smoothed Nell’s forehead, which caused her eyelids to flutter. “My favorite part was when you got back to the hotel and took Nell for a walk. You know I love her, but wow. She’s a lot of work.”
I chuckled, holding my hair out of my face. “Really?”
The van slowed to a stop as traffic jammed. “My favorite part,” Juliette called, eyeing us in the rearview mirror, “will be when I get this van back to the dead roads of Lakefield.”
“That’s the worst part,” I said.
“You really hate the country that much?” Aaryn said.
“Yes.”
“Do you think you’d feel different if you grew up in, say, New York?”
“Not a chance.”
“Wow.” He held the word, like he was teasing me at the same time.
“I think I’m going to win,” Sofia said. “I had a good feeling about how things went.”
“You were awesome,” Juliette said. “All of you.”
My stomach dropped, which made me feel terrible, even though I smiled at Sofia and told her, “That’s really good.” With a sigh I scooted closer to Nell’s car seat and spent a long time watching her sleep. I couldn’t get comfortable, though. The van inched forward, and the sky had grown cloudy, which made the morning feel really dark and slow.
The next thing I knew, drool was slipping from the corner of my mouth.
“How was your nap?” Aaryn asked.
I wiped my mouth and glanced at his shirtsleeve. Thank God. No drool mark that I could tell. I smoothed my hair, which was warmer on my temple from where I’d fallen asleep against his shoulder. I cleared my throat. “Where are we?”
“Almost home,” he said.
“What time is it?” I clicked my phone. No
new messages, though judging from the party photos Dmitri had posted last night, Danny was probably still in bed.
The brakes made a low squeal as the van slowed, then stopped. No one moved, because moving meant we were finished, we were home, and it was really over. Lakefield. Juliette angled the mirror toward the back and removed her sunglasses. “Well, Aaryn. This has been really great. Thank you. I know things didn’t go as planned onstage—but you’ve helped Karma more than you know.”
“Of course,” he said. He unbuckled and got out of the van. The seat beside me felt very empty.
“I guess I’ll see you around,” he said. He was framed in the opening, the fall colors of Lakefield behind him.
I flicked my seat belt off. “I’ll be right back.” I shimmied out and shut the door without worrying what the girls would think, and then I hugged him, hard, and closed my eyes. “Thank you.”
He hugged me back. “Of course. You’re welcome.”
“I can’t remember if I thanked you before.”
“You probably did.”
I stepped away, my hand reaching for the door, my gaze unable to hold his. “You should come by the studio sometime. I’ll be there every night. We have to plan your party.”
“Okay.” He held on to his bag strap. “When?”
“Anytime. Tomorrow. The next day.”
“I will.”
The birds were singing, and our van was the only car in sight. “Bye, Aaryn.” The door made a grinding sound as it shut. Inside, the air was so stuffy, Aaryn just standing there on the grass, and I was hot and hungry, and sad that it was all over, and sad that I probably wouldn’t win.
We drove off. I thought about calling Danny to wake him up—maybe he’d come over—but then I decided that all I wanted to do was get home, where I could be alone and unpack and cry until the depressed feeling in my chest was gone.
Day 40
“Hey, Aaryn.”
Phoebe. She was relaxed at the top of the stairs when I walked inside my apartment foyer. “Surprise!”
“Yeah. Wow.” My foot caught on the step. “Is everything okay?”
“More than okay,” she said as I walked up.
I unlocked the door. “After you.”
She shrugged out of her quiver and leaned her bow against the wall. “I’ve missed you.” And then she reached through the quiver’s opening.
The sound of metal drawn out, clear and bell-like, rang through my apartment. “The assembly doesn’t know I’m bringing you this.”
The golden arrow burned with light. I held it at arm’s length. The blades couldn’t get anywhere near my skin. Warmth radiated from the arrow, something I’d never noticed as a god. Now that I was human, the arrow felt so different. Almost alive.
“What is this?” I asked, even though I knew. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s an unmarked arrow.” She hesitated. “A universal arrow. Just made. You can shoot Danny with it and no one will know his proposal came as a result. There’s no way to track it—no way to know it exists. Once he proposes to her, which shouldn’t take long, you can come home. A lot has happened since you left.”
I tried to hand it back, but she ignored my offer. “Where did you get this?”
“Somewhere.” Her expression became serious. “Trust me, this will work. We won’t have to go to Blackout. You do trust me, don’t you?”
Flecks of gold danced along the arrow as my hand shook, the glint drawing my eyes to the point. The power to change someone’s life forever. I swallowed. “I can’t keep this.”
“Okay,” Phoebe said, laughing a little. Then, realizing I was serious, her smile vanished. “Shoot Danny and come home.”
“No, Phoebe. I can’t. I cheated once—lied once—and look where it got us.”
“Yes.” She narrowed her eyes. “Once again, we don’t have much of a choice, do we?”
Had she always looked like that? Like I disgusted her if she wasn’t in charge? The weight of the arrow felt enormous. I hated it. “An unmarked could be dangerous. What if the formula is wrong? What if it kills him?”
“Would you care?”
“Wow. Yes, I’d care, what do you think? I’m not a murderer. Not to mention—Karma would never recover from losing him.”
“And I’m supposed to suffer as a result of all of this?” She stepped forward, the glow of her skin making my eyes feel scratchy. “I’m supposed to rot in Blackout, and lose my immortality, because some girl might cry a lot?”
The thought of Karma crying filled me with sadness. “We both lied, Phoebe.”
Her eyes darkened. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. I thought you cared about me. Anyway, I guess you’ve decided my fate. Thanks for the info.”
“Tek is bringing me a lead arrow to break her enchantment. He’s giving you a chip for protection. My father knows.” I felt free when I thought of my plan to stay on Earth. Like I could really leave that messed-up world in Olympus behind me.
“This arrow is the only way.” Her arms relaxed. “I know what Tek said, but we talked everything over and I told him you’d be more than happy to join us once you get home. Chaz and I, Tek, too—we all agreed a golden arrow is the safest bet.” Her chin lowered. “You really need to get focused again.”
“What do you mean?”
“Focus, Aaryn. Stop worrying about that stupid girl and finish the mission you were sent here to do.” She took my hand and closed it around the golden arrow. “You can’t decide to cheat one way but not another. Don’t be a hypocrite. Come home.” She twisted her lips. “We need you there.”
“She’s not a stupid girl. Far from it. And she’d never dream of asking me to lie or cheat.”
“How sweet.” Phoebe shrugged. “Everyone is counting on you to finish your mission. Tek’s under a lot of pressure from the assembly, your father is—”
“I thought Dad and Tek were working together now.”
“Yes,” she said quickly.
“I should have told Dad the truth a long time ago.”
Phoebe gave a short, cynical laugh. “Why? So you could have gone straight to Blackout like some loser?”
“Tek said he’d give you a chip.”
“Yeah, well, no one really knows if that will work.”
I placed the golden arrow against the back of the couch. “Tek said he’d be back. He wants me in High Tower, and I told him I won’t go without the lead arrow.” I did feel like a hypocrite for lying to them.
“A lead arrow is out of the question.”
“Why?”
“It’s too risky! The assembly could easily run a report that shows her arrow is missing. You know her arrow has already been tracked.”
Then one of her dark eyebrows lifted. “Oh my God.” She carved her hands through her hair. “Wow. Really—wow. You think you’re in love with her, don’t you?”
Her knowing the truth was dangerous, but I felt more relaxed than I had in weeks, almost like I’d been subconsciously waiting for the moment when she would know. “I never expected any of this. It just happened.”
“Please. You don’t love her. You know that, right? It’s not like you’ve been shot.”
“I’ve never felt this way before.”
“Obviously. You’re human.”
“Tell Tek I’m waiting.”
She began to shake her head, then shoved by me and gripped the doorknob, her pale mouth a straight line. “Fix your mistake. Don’t ruin my life because you think you’re in love.” She kicked over the bow near the door. “You’ll need that, too.”
“If you want, you can take my chip.”
She was already gone, the door left open. I righted the bow and ran my finger along the silver wire, strong as steel.
I closed the door and sat against it. The golden arrow shimmered on the couch. The wrong arrow. The thought of leaving Karma with Danny, cheating and lying my way back home? That idea left me empty. Maybe that was the point. Maybe I was being punished for interfering
with something far more powerful than an arrow’s venom…human love.
I set the arrow in my closet and slammed the door. Along the bottom, a strip of golden light emanated from within. I flung the door wide and snapped T-shirts from the hangers, bunching the cotton over the arrow to block its light. When I shut the door, the room was black.
The arrow, hidden.
But nothing could block it from my mind.
Day 58
The candles in the room flickered as I walked to the door.
“Welcome to my awesome place.” With a wave of my arm I stood back, smiling, and Karma seriously looked like she might burst with happiness.
“Wow,” she said. “You really went all out.” The door at the bottom of the stairs rattled from the wind. My apartment, which I’d scrubbed all day, wasn’t the worst dump in the world. At least by candlelight, it looked inviting. She held the baby carrier a few inches forward. “Nice to see you again, stranger.”
“It’s been a while, huh?”
“Two and a half weeks.” She watched me, like she was trying to figure out what was really going on.
“I’ve been busy.” I moved Nell to the middle of the room, making faces, which she loved. She was bundled up in pink from head to toe. “Planning to stay the night?” I joked, meaning the two bags and fuzzy blanket Karma had lugged through the door and piled next to the couch.
“Shut up,” Karma said.
I unstrapped Nell, which turned out to be a lot harder than it looked when Karma did it, and tried to hold on to her while wiggling her arms out of her coat. Her boots were pink with fur along the top. Ridiculous, but in a cute way, I guess. She kicked a lot, which made it almost impossible to remove them. “I think she grew since the last time I saw her.”
“Babies grow fast,” Karma said. “It smells good in here.” She glanced around. “How many candles do you have?”
“Candles?” Not my fault that tea lights came in packs of a hundred. “Oh, you know. Saves on electricity.”
“You might be crossing the line a little there.”
“Really? I can blow them out if you’re serious….”
Arrows Page 14
