by Marie James
Making his choice, Snatch turns his body, so his back is to me instead of going and sitting by the guy that was once his best friend. Some stupid shit is going on because they’ve somehow been cordial, but invisible to each other for the better part of a year. Things got weird around the same time that Darby chick from Vegas left, which is weird because they’ve shared women for years and not one of the chicks they banged was able to come between them. I’m sure Kid has more of a grasp on what the fuck is going on, but bikers don’t really go around talking about their feelings and shit, so no one has bothered to ask.
I look around the room, filled with every member of the club. Almost everyone in this room, I’d gladly take a bullet for, a few I’d lay down my life without question. We’re an unlikely family, clinging to each other to fill voids our own families never did. I couldn’t ask for a better group of people in my life. It isn’t until my eyes land on each and every person there that I realize my mistake.
“Snake, Itchy, and Ace,” I snap. Each one looks over at me. “Back to the clubhouse.”
Snake and Ace nod, one standing from his chair and the other pushing off of the wall near Snapper. Itchy, being the petulant child that he is frowns. “The babies will be here soon.”
“Look around, fucker,” I hiss. “Doc’s out of town. That leaves Rose and Makayla alone in the clubhouse.”
Itchy’s eyes scan over the large group.
“Do we leave our women alone?” He shakes his head. “Double time.”
They’re out the door not a minute later.
I realize my mistake when I catch Bri’s disappointed look from across the room. Sitting beside her, Khloe, grins from ear to ear, approval glinting in her eyes.
Our women. Fuck my life.
I rest my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. This is going to be one long ass day.
***
“Sorry you had to wait so long,” Kincaid says with a slap on my back when I walk into the dimly lit room. “We just wanted a little time to ourselves before everyone started filing in.”
“I understand.” And I do. I know what it’s like to need time away from the other club members. I wouldn’t trade them for the world, but sometimes you just need to take a step away and breathe.
Em looks up from her pink-wrapped bundles and smiles. She’s clearly tired, exhaustion evident in the paleness of her skin and the stray hairs sticking out on her head, but her eyes are lit with a world of love as she holds her miracles.
I clear my throat more than once, yet I’m still unable to clear the lump that formed the second I saw the sheer happiness on my brother’s face.
“They’re beautiful,” I whisper looking down at the two girls that just stole my heart at first glance. I can’t imagine what my brother is feeling right now.
I hate Karen more now than ever before for taking moments like this from me. She said she wanted kids. We were going to start a family the second I discharged from the Marines. I found out years later that she got her wish, only the babies we were supposed to have together were given to another man.
Overwhelmed with emotion and a jealousy for my brother’s life that I have no business feeling, I sit down in the chair beside the bed.
Em looks over at me, reading the emotion I’m too exhausted to hide. “You want to hold them?”
“Please.” My voice cracks pulling a tear from Em’s eye.
Diego coos softly to his daughter as he switches her from his wife’s arms to mine.
“Georgia Leigh, Gigi for short,” he says with pride and reaches for the other. “And this is Genevieve Layne. We’re going to call her Ivy.”
The burn behind my eyes is too much to ignore as I look down into the perfect sleeping faces of my nieces. I look up from them into the face of my brother. He doesn’t bother to wipe the tears streaming down his face. Pride has no place in this room. I blink, allowing the very first tear in as long as I can remember to roll down my cheek. Em is full on sobbing at this point.
The unspoken words pass between Diego and me. We nod at the same time.
Mom should be here for this.
I lower my eyes back down to the babies, my tears making dark circles on their pale pink blankets.
“You did good, little brother.” My voice is deep, causing one of the girls to startle in my arms.
“They’re bald,” Em says with a chuckle easing the seriousness of the moment. I’m grateful to her for that.
“They’re perfect,” I argue.
I sense Em shifting in bed, wincing as she moves. Kincaid is by her side immediately. I watch as he whispers in her ear, comforting her. We were two boys fucked up by what their father did to their mother for years. At least one of us turned into a man she would be proud of.
For just a moment, I picture myself younger. I’m holding my own babies in my arms. I let go of the bitterness that I’m too fucking old to start a family now. I’ll have these sweet angels to spoil and protect, and that has to be enough.
Closing my eyes, I hum to them, soft and low, so even my brother and his amazing wife can’t hear.
My mind pictures coming home to my pregnant wife, wrapping my arms around her and sweeping my nose up her neck. I smell the lavender from Mak’s skin, see a flash of her pink hair, and for a moment I just let the daydream continue letting my mind wander to all of the things I know I’m too selfish to even ask for.
The sharp whimper of one of the girls snaps my eyes open. I find Diego nearly on top of me at the second long distress of his daughter. Emmalyn chuckles behind him.
“Those girls don’t stand a chance. I won’t be surprised if he wraps them in bubble wrap for the ride home.” Her smile is wide as daddy takes the wiggling baby from my arms.
“I’ve already strapped the car seat to the back of my bike,” I tease.
My brother’s fiery eyes meet mine. “Over my dead fucking body,” he hisses.
“See what I mean. He can’t even take a joke anymore,” Em giggles.
“I think she’s hungry,” Kincaid says turning toward his wife. He looks over his shoulder at me. “I love you, brother, but Em’s trying to breastfeed and if you see her tits, I’ll have to fucking kill you.”
I hold my hands up in mock surrender as I stand from the chair. I grin over his shoulder at Em, who’s shaking her head at her over-protective husband. I clasp Kincaid’s hand in mine and pull him against my chest for a hug. After tears and a near emotional breakdown on my part, it just feels like the right thing to do. I slap him on the back.
“Heading back to the clubhouse. Gonna relieve the guys so they can come up and check out those princesses.” He gives me a knowing look when I pull away. He knows going back has more to do with the pink haired woman staying there than the three idiots protecting her.
Chapter 33
Makayla
“You seem a little on edge,” Khloe says from across one of the dining room tables. “He’s not messing around with any of the other girls.”
I raise a disbelieving eyebrow at her.
“You’d know,” she insists. “The only women left here for him to sleep with would rub it in your face.”
I hear what she’s saying, but I have a hard time believing it.
It’s been two weeks since the babies were born. Two weeks since he touched me in the shower after my freak out. I ached for him the entire time he was gone to the hospital, but he has all but ignored me since he got back. If I walk into a room and he’s there alone, he makes a hasty retreat. He’s been showering and sleeping somewhere else since the hospital as well.
I haven’t pushed him, haven’t questioned where he’s been, whose bed he’s keeping warm, whose pussy he’s fucking. The man was insatiable around me, so I know he has to be sinking inside of someone. A man as needy as Dominic Anderson doesn’t stop fucking, he just moves on to the next willing thing. Our time fizzled out. It hurts more than I should’ve ever let it.
“He’s been spending a lot of time with Kincaid and the g
irls,” she continues.
I nod my head. How can I be mad at that? Everyone in the clubhouse has gone all soft over those two little girls, and they should. Babies are amazing little miracles and should be treated as such, but it doesn’t ease the burn I have for him or the pain in my heart for needing him.
I stand from the table, and Khloe follows. I wonder if she’s been instructed to keep me company, fill my time with watching TV and chatting, so I won’t bother Dom.
“I’m going to take a nap,” I mutter.
“Still not sleeping well?”
I shake my head and walk out of the room. The nightmares have returned, only this time I wake and comfort myself. Dom doesn’t come into the room and hold me in his arms any longer. He doesn’t promise me I’m safe and that he won’t let anything hurt me. I believed it when he would whisper the words in my ear. I tried the same thing the first time it happened and he wasn’t around. I found out very quickly that I don’t believe a fucking word coming out of my own mouth. I don’t have faith in my ability to stay safe on my own.
I can rest during the daylight hours. I can fall into a somewhat peaceful sleep while others are awake. I know they’d never let anyone breach the front doors because there are three children here that every one of the members and even the club girls would protect with their lives. It’s only when the darkness creeps in, and the sun sets that the fear becomes unbearable. It’s then that I picture Grinder turning to smoke and slithering by the sleeping members, only to materialize in my room to finally carry out the threats he’s been telling me for years.
Bone weary, I collapse on the bed, but sleep doesn’t find me. The agitation has been building, and the conversation with Khloe must have tipped it over the edge.
Not one conversation has happened about the Renegades. Not a single word spoken about getting my sister out of that horrific place. The arrival of Ivy and Gigi has put that issue on the back burner or made it disappear altogether.
It’s then that a thought strikes me. Is he ignoring me, refusing to speak of my problems a way for him to force me to leave? Is he hoping I’ll just disappear?
“Sounds like a perfect idea,” I mutter climbing off of the bed and pulling the suitcase out from under it.
I should leave all of the shit he bought for me, but I have nothing else and walking away without it would be foolish. Pulling open the dresser drawer, I scoop my clothes out and begin stuffing them into the open case on my bed.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” The gravel in the familiar voice makes the hair on my arms stand on end.
I don’t even turn around to face him. Just as I’m about to leave he shows up? After I’ve given up on waiting, he wants to come in and dictate what I do? Fat fucking chance.
“Look at me, Makayla.” The command in his voice is unmistakable. My body wants to obey, but obeying has gotten me nothing but heartache, and wasted time that could’ve been used to save Jasmine.
I grab a stray sock from the mattress and stuff it into the suitcase before zipping it up and turning to face him. He looks as tired as I feel. Dark rings circle his cloudy gray eyes.
“Where are you going?” It’s nearly a growl, but his anger no longer scares me. I know he’d never hurt me, not intentionally anyway.
“Someone has to do something, Dom. If Cerberus isn’t going to help get my sister away from the Renegades, then I’ll have to figure out a way to do it my damn self.” I straighten my spine, and I don’t miss the spark in his eyes.
I’ve learned that defying him turns him on, but that isn’t my objective today. Right now I just want him to move aside so I can leave.
“What makes you think we haven’t been doing anything, Mak? I told you we’d take care of it and we are.” He crosses his massive arms over his chest, effectively making himself wider and blocking the exit even more.
“No one has said anything to me,” I argue. “I haven’t heard one fucking word from you or anyone else in this God damned clubhouse. It’s like you just fucking forgot about me.”
“That is completely inaccurate,” he hisses.
“I’m forgettable. I get that, but I can’t forget about Jasmine.” Tears sting my eyes, and it only serves to piss me off even more.
He tilts his head back and fucking laughs at me. I see red. My hand trembles on the handle of the suitcase, and I picture myself lifting it and slamming it against his beautiful laughing face.
“So glad you find it funny,” I spit.
The abrupt end of his laughter fills the room with eerie silence. He takes a step forward. Instinctively, I take a step back. My knees hit the mattress forcing me to sit on the end of the bed.
“I wish forgetting you were that easy,” he hisses. “God knows I’ve fucking tried.”
My gut twists, pain filling my entire body. His words hurt more than Grinder’s fists ever did. I hang my head, feeling like an idiot for ever thinking he was different than every other man in my life. If anything he’s more dangerous because he got me to trust in him, believe in his chivalry.
“Just let me leave,” I beg. If he doesn’t want me here, I don’t understand trying to keep me from leaving. I can walk out of here, and he’d never have to think of me again.
“I don’t want you hurt,” he says only a few feet from me now.
“My safety is no longer your obligation, Dom.”
“That couldn’t be any farther from the truth,” he says.
I finally raise my head and meet his eyes. “You haven’t touched me since you got back from the hospital when the twins were born. You’re sleeping in someone else’s room! Why do you even fucking care right now?”
I jump up and face off with him. It’s ridiculous since I have to look up and hold absolutely no intimidation power against this hulk of a man.
“You freaked out the last fucking time I touched you.”
“I was calm when you left,” I argue.
He turns away and paces, his huge hands sweeping in frustration over his head. “I’m trying to work through some shit. The last thing I wanted was to bring you down.”
I huff. “Work through some shit? Is that code for needing to fuck other women?”
Why in the hell did I bring that shit up? I sound like a fucking possessive psycho club whore.
“I’ve been sleeping on the fucking couch,” he seethes. “I told you I didn’t want any of the girls here.”
“And what, I’m just supposed to take you at your word?” I glare at him until he faces me again. “You think I’m able to believe a word that has ever been spoken by a man before?”
He growls and closes the distance between us, only this time I stand firm, refusing to back away from him.
“Sounds like you got some shit to work through, also.” His breath is warm and minty on my face.
“That’s a fucking understatement,” I murmur.
He watches me, the scrutiny of his gaze making me grow warm in all of the places I’ve been trying to force into understanding they’ll never be touched by him again. His eyes dart to my lips and stay there.
“I didn’t mean to freak out on you. You were all soft and sweet, and the last thing I wanted was you making love to me. Then those words,” I pause. “I just couldn’t handle it.”
“That shit is a hundred percent on me, Mak. I watched your eyes that day. You wanted exactly what you were getting. My control of your body is exactly what you need, what you crave. You know I’ll keep you safe. You know you can open up to me, and I won’t judge you.” He speaks to my mouth, unable to pull his eyes from them.
“It was too much,” I whisper shaking my head. “It was too much.”
“It wasn’t enough,” he growls.
Chapter 34
Dominic
Her legs are around my waist, and my mouth is on hers before she can deny me. The calm I haven’t been able to find the last two weeks is immediate. Even with my pulse pounding in my head and my cock fighting to get out of my jeans, I have more control
now than when I’ve been away from her.
I lick into her mouth, tease her covered nipple with my thumb, and she moans against my lips, straining her neck to close the distance when I start to pull away. She’s as open to this as I’d hoped.
The tearing noise as I rip her leggings apart mingles with our panting breaths. Holding her like this, without the aid of the wall, isn’t easy and my hands, needing to carry her weight, don’t have as much mobility, but it’s something I’ll work around.
“Take me out,” I mutter against her mouth and shift, so there are a few inches between us.
Her hands scramble, fighting first my belt and then the button and zipper on my jeans but not once does she reject me. I close my eyes, rejoicing in the touch of her hand on my heated flesh.
“Are you wet?” I groan.
“Fuck yes,” she answers.
“Put me in,” I command as one hand holds onto her back, and the other reaches up to her neck.
Her blue eyes fill with intense longing as my thumb presses against the raging pulse point. Her heart is pounding just as fast as mine is. I can barely keep it together as she sweeps the head of my cock through her arousal, wetting me with it before placing me at her entrance.
“I’m gonna fuck you hard, Mak,” I warn. “Tell me if it’s too much.”
Her cries fill the room when my hips thrust, and I fill her in one solid lunge. The resistance of her core the second before her pussy accepts all of me is the most incredible feeling, one I know I’ll long for many times after she’s gone.
“Fucking perfect,” I praise and shift my hips back only to slam forward again.
Glass-like eyes watch mine. With her head against mine and never breaking the connection, I fuck her just how I want, how she needs. Her nails dig into the back of my neck, exactly how I like it.
The familiar zing of release knocks in warning low in my spine.
It’s too soon.
“You need to come, Mak,” I grunt. “Been too long, baby.”
She bites her lip and pulls one of her hands from my neck only to trail it down my chest and press down on her clit. Her eyes roll, but she manages to keep them open and on mine, pleasing me, doing exactly what she knows I demand of her.
