The Lawson Boys: Marty
By Angela Verdenius
(The Lawson Boys book 2)
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2012 Angela Verdenius
Cover image courtesy of Manu1174 & istock.com
Cover by Joleene Naylor
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I found that some overseas readers were having difficulty with the Australian slang, so I thought a list of the slang I’ve used will help while reading the following story. If I’ve forgotten any, I do apologise! Also, you’ll find some of our Aussie words have different spelling to the US.
* please note that sizes in the US and Australia differ, so when reading of a set dress size, check the conversion on-line if you want!
Cheers,
Angela
Australian Terms/Slang
Barbie - BBQ
Beaut - beautiful, awesome, great, wonderful
Biccies - biscuits. The same as cookies
Bikie - biker, person who rides motorcycles.
Bloke/s - man/men
Bloody - a swear word ‘no bloody good’, in place of ‘no damned good’
Boofhead - idiot, simpleton, etc. It’s an insult, though sometimes we use it as a term of affection. It depends on how it is said and meant.
Boot (of a car) - trunk
Budgie smugglers - men’s bathers, small, brief and tight-fitting
Buggered - many Aussie use it as a slang word for ‘broken’ (it’s buggered), ‘tired (I’m buggered), and ‘no way’ (I’m buggered if I’m going to do that). Just some examples
Chemist - pharmacy
Chips - in Australia we have cold crunchy chips from a packet, or hot chips known in some countries as French Fries
Crash cart - resuscitation trolley in a hospital or medical setting - used for life threatening situations such as cardiac arrest
Dander – temper
Dill - silly, idiot
Donger - penis. Also another meaning is a place people sometimes sleep in, such as ‘dongers’ on mine sites.
Giggle-box - TV, television
Got his/her/their goat – annoyed him/her/them
Hoon/s - person/people who indulge in antisocial behaviour. Great explanation in Wikipedia
Iced coffee/chocolate - a milk drink flavoured with chocolate or coffee
Lolly - sweetie, candy
Lug - face
Milo - chocolate malt drink. Can have it hot or cold. Yummy!
Moosh - slang for face/mouth
Mobile phone - cell phone
Nooky - sex
Panadol - paracetamol
PCYC - Police and Citizens Youth Club
Pedal Pushers - three quarter pants/knickerbockers
Primapore - sticky patch with a pad in it, a medical dressing
Pub - hotel
RAC - Royal Automobile Club of Western Australia. Covers insurance, holidays, loans, etc
Servo - service station
Shag - sex
Sheila - female
Snaggers - sausages
Soft drink - soda, fizzy drink
Tea - some people call the evening meal dinner. In my family, we’ve always called it tea, as in breaky, dinner and tea, or breaky, lunch and tea.
Tickled pink - delighted
Tim Tams - a brand of Arnott’s Biscuits. Yummy!
TLC - Tender Loving Care
Torch - flashlight
Tucker - food
Ute - small truck
Vegemite - most Aussies find this spread yummy, many non-Aussies find it too salty. Here’s the hint - if you ever have Vegemite, use it spread thinly, never thickly!
Yamaha & Suzuki - ‘brands’ of motorcycles.
You wally - silly
Wanger - penis
Waterworks - crying
Whopper - a lie
Driving - In Australia, you cannot get a driver’s licence to drive a car until you are 17 years old. You get your Learner’s Permit (which requires you to drive only in the company of a qualified driver), then at 18 you can go for your Probationary licence (you can drive on your own but at restricted speed limits), and then finally you are a fully qualified driver.
Chapter 1
The wedding was going well. The groom looked dashing, the bride looked beautiful, the proud parents sat and watched fondly as their offspring prepared to enter holy matrimony.
Marty Lawson glanced sideways. Even better, his date looked hot. Dressed in a silk red dress that clung to her slim figure, her bosom on mouth-watering display and just barely grazing the decent mark for a wedding, her elegant feet clad in red silk pumps, her expensive accessories screaming money, Marcia was the epitome of hotness.
Having personally experienced her hotness in bed, Marty grinned to himself. Yep, after this wedding and the wedding dinner, he was going to take this hotness home, unwrap her and indulge in some not-quite deviant sex.
Obviously his gaze must have been getting a little lustful, because the matron sitting on the other side of Marcia leaned forward a fraction to give him a disapproving glare. Marty smiled politely, crossed his legs to hide a growing boner, and returned his attention to the front.
Yep, his old friend was another bachelor biting the dust. Getting the old ball and chain. Tying himself for life to a beautiful woman who apparently worshipped the ground upon which Trevor walked. That it had actually come to this was a surprise. Marty had always thought Trevor would whore his days away until he was buried six feet under, the man had enjoyed his travels across the country and through who knew how many well-known and not-so-well-known beds. But look there, finally a woman had caught him and was making an honest man of him. Who’d have thought it?
Now the minister was asking if anyone had any issues with Trevor attaching himself to Melissa and to speak now or forever hold their peace. The bride and groom smiled at each other as the short silence lingered, the minister smiled benevolently, the proud mothers dabbed their eyes while the proud fathers smiled approvingly, and-
“I have a problem!” Someone declared loudly from the back of the church. “I have a huge freakin’ problem!”
As one, every person in the church turned and gaped at the woman storming down the aisle.
Marty’s eyebrows shot up almost into his hairline as he took in the full-bodied woman striding angrily down the blue carpet. Dressed in a summery dress, the cheerful yellow was at total odds with the green eyes spitting fire, the red in her round cheeks, and the cupid lips that furiously spat out, “You cheating bastard!”
Holy cow! Marty’s fascinated gaze shot back to Trevor. His friend was whiter than his bride-to-be’s wedding gown. Shock was plastered on both his face and Melissa’s, but Trevor’s held a huge amount of guilt as well.
Oops. Looked like Trevor’s sins had found him out, and most spectacularly. Not cool on his part, true, but entertaining nevertheless.
A couple of the men from the groom’s side stood up but none of them moved to intercept the woman.
“Trevor!” Melissa gaped from the woman storming up the aisle to her groom. “What does she mean?”
“I don’t know.” Closing his mouth, he swallowed hard, his desperate gaze flicking from the advancing woman to Melissa.
“You know all right!” The woman shoved aside one of the bridesmaids who�
�d decided she should try to halt the advance.
The bridesmaid staggered back and was caught by the matron of honour.
Trevor’s mother flapped her hand while holding a handkerchief to her mouth, and his father started forward. “Now listen here-”
By this time the woman was right in Trevor’s face, ignoring the sputtering minister, the bridal party and everyone else. “You lying turd!” she almost screamed.
“Trevor!” Melissa gasped.
“I don’t know who you are-”Trevor began.
“You knew the night you took my clothes off!” The woman shoved one finger against his chest. “You told me I was the only one for you, that you loved me, that-”
“This is ridiculous!” Trevor took a step back onto Melissa’s train, tearing it.
No one noticed as they watched the proceedings unfold with a mixture of horror, morbid fascination, and in the case of a couple of people, amusement. One of those people was Marty.
“Ridiculous?” the woman yelled, prodding Trevor in the chest.
“If you don’t leave right now, I’ll call the police,” Trevor’s father threatened.
“Wait a minute.” Melissa’s father was also standing by this time. “I demand an explanation, Trevor. Who is this woman to you?”
“No-one,” Trevor insisted desperately. “I don’t know her, I-”
“My name is Belle, you moron, as you very well know!” The woman grabbed his tie and yanked him forward until they were almost nose-to-nose, which was a feat considering that she was rather on the short side. “Remember how you screamed it when you took my virginity a week ago?”
Holy cow again. Marty’s mouth dropped open. The church filled with gasps of rapt horror and glee. The gossip mill of high society would be churning within half an hour or less. The editors of the gossip columns would be having orgasms.
Melissa fainted. The bridesmaids fluttered around her, Trevor’s father was taking the mobile phone from his pocket, his mother was helplessly flapping her hands, Melissa’s father was glaring at Trevor, and her mother was glaring at the woman called Belle.
Trevor was saying something quietly to the woman, speaking from between clenched teeth.
“Now then.” The minister made an attempt at being the voice of reason. “I think we should discuss this in private and sort out what is happening.”
Belle and Trevor ignored him. Trevor said something further to Belle and her cheeks went even redder. Then she slapped him. Hard. The crack of her hand against his cheek resounded through the fascinated silence of the church. He actually rocked back on his well-shod heels with the force of it.
Even Marty winced.
“Oh my God,” Marcia whispered in delighted horror.
“Don’t bother to call the cops, I’m leaving.” Turning on her heel, Belle strode down the aisle.
She was breath-taking in her fury, or maybe it was just Marty’s lothario side coming out and taking notice. Her bountiful bosom pressed against the top of her dress, her brown, curly hair bounced against her shoulders with every angry step she took, and her generous hips swayed righteously. Shoulders back, head held high, she was the very embodiment of why a man should never do wrong by a woman. Revenge could be bloody awkward.
Those brilliant green eyes met his briefly, raking across his face before once more focussing forward.
Like everyone else, Marty turned in his seat to watch her progress, admiration filling him as she kept her head high. He found himself holding his breath in anticipation as she stopped and whirled on one heel to face the bridal party.
Hands on her ample hips, she tossed her curls back over her shoulders and announced loudly, “And if that night was proof of your so-called prowess in bed, Trevor, let me tell you that you need lessons from a hooker on how to satisfy a woman. I might have been a virgin, but even I know when someone’s wanger isn’t up to par.” With that final humiliating, parting shot, she swung around once more to cover the remaining distance to the door in angry strides and disappear outside.
Marty turned back to see what was going to happen now. Trevor’s face was flushed beet-red with embarrassment and fury and yep, Marty saw it as clear as day, guilt. Trevor’s father was gripping the mobile phone so tightly it was a wonder he didn’t break it in half, Melissa’s father was demanding an explanation, her mother was comforting Melissa who was leaning against the minister and sobbing, and Trevor’s mother was loudly assuring Melissa it was all a mistake.
Marty was certain it was no mistake, though what Trevor had been doing with a plus-sized woman was beyond him. Trevor liked his women model thin, not full-bodied. Definitely not cool, either, taking a woman’s virginity, playing with her emotions and then blithely going off to marry his fiancée. But then again, that was Trevor for you. The man never did anything by halves.
The best man rallied admirably, stepping forward to tell everyone to please excuse them while they went into the little vestry and tried to sort out what was happening.
As soon as the groom, bride, their parents and the minister disappeared, the whispers broke out as the happenings were rehashed and theories brought forth. Unfortunately for Trevor, those theories weighed pretty heavily on Belle’s side. Unfortunately for Belle, she’d crashed the wedding of a high-profile family and within minutes she was branded ‘The Other Woman’.
A few of the more unabashed guests were already dialling their mobile phones and word was getting out. This was the juiciest gossip to happen in awhile. Marty grinned a little.
“What do you find so amusing?” Marcia poked him in the side.
“Trevor just stirred a hornet’s nest.”
“Trevor is a friend of yours. Shouldn’t you be feeling sorry for him?”
“Sorry for Trevor?” Marty laughed.
“What do you know that I don’t?”
“I’ve known him a long time, let’s just leave it at that.” Chuckling, Marty caught the disapproving eye of the matron on the other side of Marci, and he couldn’t resist winking at her.
With a huff, the elderly lady turned to her companion.
“I wonder what’s going to happen now?” Marcia mused.
“Not much in the way of a wedding,” Marty predicted.
He was proven correct when the father of the groom re-entered the church. After gravely apologising for the fiasco, he stiffly requested their understanding in that the wedding was postponed until circumstances were investigated and thanked them all for their attendance.
Leaving the church, Marty slung his arm around Marcia and bent down to nuzzle her silky hair. “Mmmmm. No reception and I’m hungry.”
“How can you be hungry after what happened?” She giggled as he blew softly into her ear.
“I’m a man with a plan for the evening ahead. I need to keep my strength up.”
“I’d have thought The Other Woman appearing would make you leery.” She fluttered her false eyelashes at him.
“I’m not about to get married.” His hand slid down to her taut bottom and squeezed.
“But you might one day, and then what?”
“The wedding giving you ideas?” God forbid.
Marcia shuddered a little. “Not this wedding. Giving me the heebie-jeebies more like it.”
Unlocking the door to his low-slung sports car, Marty grinned. “We’re on the same wave length, baby.” As she settled herself into the seat, he glanced at the church and sighed a little. As much as he wanted to continue with his original plans, he had a feeling he was going to be needed very soon. Bending down, he said quietly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to take you home and leave.”
She glanced at the church. “Let me guess. Trevor?”
“Yeah.”
“You think he’ll ring you?”
“We’re not best buds, but we are friends. Yeah, I reckon he will.”
She sighed. “Fine.”
Marty didn’t miss the way her fingers played over her mobile phone. Yep, Marcia might be regretting not being able
to have sex with him, but her urge to share the wedding fiasco news was certainly going a long way to vanquishing her disappointment. He just bet that she’d be meeting her friends before her house door was closed behind her.
In fact, she was already making plans to meet her girlfriends before they’d even gotten near her home. She had him drop her off at a favourite restaurant and left him with a quick, almost absent-minded kiss to the cheek before rushing inside to meet one of her friends who was already waiting in a window seat.
Well, that made him feel missed. Not.
Shaking his head, Marty headed for home to change. His mobile peeled merrily as he drew up in front of his double-storied house. Turning off the engine, he answered. “Yep?”
“Marty?” It was his mother.
“Who else would be answering my phone?”
Ignoring his reply, she went straight to the topic. “Is it true?”
“You mean about Trevor’s indiscretion turning up at the church and the whole thing erupting into hysteria because of The Other Woman and now Trevor is in disgrace and it’s a huge scandal?”
“So it is true!”
“Maybe.” Grinning, he got out of the car and set the alarm.
“Why didn’t you ring me?”
“Because I knew you weren’t one for gossip.” Climbing the two steps to the front door, he inserted the key and unlocked it.
“So has Trevor rung you yet?”
“Why would Trevor ring me?”
“Because that boy always does when he’s in trouble.”
“No, he hasn’t rung me yet.”
“But he will.”
“Possibly.” Kicking the door shut behind him, he hung the key up on the hook beside the door and bent down to pat Sugar, who was waiting for him with her stub of a tail wagging.
“You know he will.”
“So why ask me?”
“Martin, do you want me to come over there and clip your ear?”
“Not particularly.” Grinning wider, he tugged his tie loose.
The Lawson Boys: Marty Page 1
