Convictions

by Julie Morrigan

  ‘Of course,’ said Ruth. ‘I’ll try and go this afternoon.’

  ***

  True to her word, Ruth freed up a couple of hours and headed off to Weardale that afternoon. She had spoken to Mary McCluskey on the telephone and so she was expected.

  ‘She’s not dealing with it very well,’ said Mary. ‘She was ready to buckle down and do her time, but this sentence has knocked her for six.’ Mary rubbed her eyes. ‘Of course, it’s early days and she may well feel differently this time next week, but I’m very, very disappointed that she doesn’t want to launch an appeal.’

  ‘It certainly smacks of defeat,’ said Ruth. ‘In fact, that’s the main reason I’m here. Her mum asked me to have a word and to try and get her to change her mind.’

  ‘Good luck with that. The fight’s gone out of her. She needs to find that fire again. Incidentally, I’ve given Leanne something to do to keep her out of the way while you talk to Tina.’ Mary and Ruth stood together. ‘Oh,’ said Mary, ‘and that’s another thing. She’s gone back to being called “Tina”.’

  ***

  Ruth found the door to Tina’s room slightly open, and she could see the girl lying on her bed, her face buried in the bunny toy. She tapped on the door then went in.

  ‘Hey,’ she said, sitting down on the bed and resting her hand on Tina’s shoulder, ‘how’re you doing?’

  Tina took the toy away from her face. Her eyes looked bloodshot and sore. ‘Thirteen years,’ she said to Ruth. ‘That’s a minimum of six and a half. Three years here, then three and a half years on an adult wing. If I’m lucky.’

  ‘It’s a lot more than we expected,’ Ruth agreed. ‘But that’s all the more reason to launch an appeal. It’s such a big sentence that you’re almost guaranteed to get it reduced.’

  ‘Appeals can go both ways,’ said Tina. ‘Leanne told me that. She said her mum appealed against her sentence and the appeal judge increased it.’

  ‘That only happens in very rare cases when the original sentence is disproportionately lenient. Yours is disproportionately severe. Your chances are excellent, and the worst that is likely to happen is that the original sentence is allowed to stand.’

  ‘But Leanne says—’

  ‘I hear you’ve decided to go back to “Tina”,’ Ruth said. ‘What made you do that?’

  ‘It was hearing the judge in the courtroom yesterday talking about “Christina Snowdon”. He made her sound evil. I don’t want to think of myself like that.’ She put the bunny to her face again and Ruth saw her shudder.

  ‘You aren’t like that, love. You’re a good kid who has had some very bad stuff to deal with, that’s all.’ She squeezed Tina’s shoulder. ‘Now come on. Where’s the Tina I know? The one who’s going to work for Vanessa and qualify to be a hairdresser, and live in that smashing little flat above Vanessa’s salon?’

  ‘That’s another thing,’ Tina said. ‘Vanessa’s getting married. She’s moving away.’

  Ruth cursed Penny for not telling her. ‘She’ll open another salon, though. And it’s not like hers is the only salon in Sunderland. You’ll get a job at one of the others.’

  ‘I’ll be too old to be starting out when I get out, plus people might not be comfortable with an attempted murderer using scissors around them. Vanessa understood. No one else will. Let’s face it,’ Tina said, ‘no one decent will want to give me a job when I get out. I might as well have put those scissors in me, not in Mr Cotter. My life is over.’

  Ruth comforted Tina as she sobbed into the soft toy. ‘You mustn’t think like that,’ she counselled her. ‘It’s not true, for a start. You have your whole life ahead of you and there’s no reason why it can’t be a good one.’

  ‘Leanne says—’

  ‘Take no notice of Leanne, she doesn’t know everything,’ Ruth said, angry at the influence the girl had over Tina. ‘Look, you take a couple of days to think about things and decide what you want to do. You don’t need to make any hard and fast decisions right now.’

  ‘Okay,’ Tina said, drying her eyes on the bunny’s ears. ‘Ruth?’

  ‘What, love?’

  ‘Will you come back and see me in a bit? Maybe we can talk things through when I’m less upset.’

  ‘Of course I will, love. One day next week. Do you want your mum to come, too?’

  Tina nodded. ‘Yes, I want to see her. But not to talk things through like this.’ She looked at Ruth, her face serious. ‘Mum gets too worked up. She has no patience. You and Mary let me work things out for myself, even if it takes me a little while. Mum just shouts if I don’t agree straight away. I’ll see her after, once I know what I’m going to do.’

  ‘Okay, love,’ said Ruth. She looked at her watch and stood up. ‘I have to go now. Will you be okay? Do you want Mary for anything?’

  ‘I’ll be okay, thanks.’ She managed a smile. ‘I just need to get my head around it.’

  ‘Be sure the decisions you make are yours,’ said Ruth. ‘Don’t let anyone push you into anything you don’t want to do.’ She stood up. ‘Or talk you out of it, either.’

  ***

  ‘Tina’s decided to appeal,’ Ruth told Karen Fitzgerald the next week as they ate lunch together in the canteen. ‘She had a good long think about it and Mary McCluskey and I talked it over with her, and she’s decided to go ahead.’

  ‘Thank goodness for that,’ said Fitzgerald. ‘She’s got to get her sentence reduced, surely to God.’ Fitzgerald bit into her sandwich. ‘What’s the score with that other girl?’ she asked, around a mouthful of cheese and pickle.

  ‘She still has far too much influence, in my opinion,’ said Ruth. ‘Mary McCluskey told me that Tina doesn’t speak to many of the other girls and that it’s all due to Leanne Davidson. She tells Tina what music she should like, who she should speak to, what she should watch on television …’

  ‘What to think?’

  Ruth nodded. ‘There’s been more than a bit of that. I reckon Leanne had a lot to do with Tina initially deciding not to launch an appeal. She gave her some cock and bull story about her mum appealing her sentence and having it increased as a result.’

  ‘And did she?’

  Ruth shook her head. ‘No. I checked. She made the whole thing up.’

  ‘Lying little cow.’

  Chapter 10

  ‘I’m scared, Ruth, I can’t pretend I’m not.’

  ‘I can understand that, Tina, you’ve got a lot riding on this appeal. But your chances are good. You’ve got a good legal team, good evidence and you’ve even had some support in the press.’

  Tina smiled. ‘Yes, I saw the stuff in the Guardian. That’s an important paper as well, isn’t it? I mean, it’s more serious than a tabloid.’

  Ruth smiled back. ‘Yes, it certainly is.’ She had the sense she was being watched and looked up to see Leanne’s face peering into the room. ‘We’re busy,’ she told the girl, getting up and moving to the door. ‘And we’re having a private discussion.’ Ruth saw Leanne scowl and heard her tut, but shut the door on her anyway. She’d had just about enough of Leanne Davidson and her meddling.

  ‘She’s not so bad, really,’ said Tina, seeing Ruth’s expression.

  ‘She’s a troublemaker.’

  ‘She can mix it,’ admitted Tina, ‘but she’s been a good friend to me. She’s helped me cope when I was struggling.’

  ‘How?’ Ruth asked, noticing not for the first time that Tina seemed nervy.

  ‘Just stuff. Talking and stuff.’

  ‘Whatever you’re taking, Tina, stop. No one will give you any sympathy if you’re using.’

  Tina looked up sharply. ‘It’s just—’

  ‘I mean it. Get yourself sorted out before it’s no longer your decision.’ Ruth relented a little. ‘It’s for your own good. All we want is to see you get through this as painlessly and quickly as possible.’

  ‘Does Mary know?’

  ‘She knows Leanne was suspected of supplying in the last place she was in. And Mary’s not s
tupid, whatever you girls might like to think. If she puts two and two together, it’s not just you who’ll be in trouble. How long has Leanne got to go?’

  ‘About three months in here, then when she’s twenty-one she moves to an adult wing. She’s hoping no more than a year there.’

  ‘Well, that’ll depend on her keeping her nose clean. If she gets caught dealing she can kiss goodbye to her freedom for a very long time.’

  ‘That would be awful!’

  ‘Yes, wouldn’t it.’ Ruth looked as grim as she felt. She was anxious for Leanne not to have her sentence extended. As things stood, she only had to worry about her and Tina for another three months; assuming Leanne got released when she hoped to, she’d be gone before Tina moved onto an adult wing. ‘You might have a word with her about what’s at stake.’

  ‘I will. Thanks Ruth. And I’ll get sorted out, too.’ She shook her head, tried to play it down. ‘It’s just a few pills to help me cope. Nothing serious, you know?’

  ‘If you need pills to help you cope, see the doctor. Get them on prescription and take them according to his recommendation. Deal?’

  ‘Deal.’

  ***

  ‘What did that old cow want that was so important?’ Leanne had insinuated herself into Tina’s room and flopped down on the bed next to her just as soon as Ruth was out of sight.

  ‘She just wanted to talk to me about my appeal.’ Leanne wore a short pleated skirt; Tina stroked her thigh.

  ‘Sour-faced bitch.’

  ‘Don’t talk about her like that. Ruth’s all right.’

  Leanne snorted. ‘Yeah, right!’

  ‘She is. She’s helped me loads, right from when … from when Annie got taken.’ Tina shifted on the bed, put her arms around Leanne. ‘She’s looking out for you as well.’

  ‘How’s that?’ Leanne nuzzled Tina’s neck.

  ‘She knows you’re dealing.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘She just does.’

  ‘What did you tell her?’ She slipped her hands under Tina’s T-shirt.

  ‘Nothing. She already knew. She said it would be awful if you got caught because you’d be locked up for ages.’ Tina moved so that Leanne could unhook her bra. ‘She cares what happens to you.’

  ‘What do you think she’d say if she knew about us?’

  Tina was pulling Leanne’s top off. ‘No bra?’ She kissed Leanne’s breasts as Leanne climbed astride her.

  ‘No underwear. I didn’t want to waste any time.’ She pushed Tina back on the bed as she shuffled forward. ‘I’m horny as hell. Eat me, bitch.’

  ***

  ‘What is your name?’

  ‘Simon Peter.’

  ‘Good. Where do you live?’

  ‘I live here.’

  ‘Who are your family?’

  ‘The people I live with.’

  ‘Who do you serve?’

  ‘I serve the Lord. I do God’s work and I abide by his will.’

  ***

  ‘I’m glad your appeal went so well, love.’ Penny hugged Tina awkwardly across the table. ‘You should get out when you’re twenty-one, all being well.’

  ‘I know, Mum, it’s such a relief.’ Tina still couldn’t believe her sentence had been halved. She blinked back tears. The appeal process had not been quick, it had taken five months to get to court, but it had been worthwhile.

  ‘I’ve got some news of my own.’ Penny fidgeted in the uncomfortable chair. She never had got used to visiting Tina in the YOI. She dreaded the time when she moved to an adult wing.

  ‘What’s that, then?’

  ‘I’ve met someone.’

  ‘No way! Who is he?’

  ‘He’s a friend of your Auntie Sammy and Uncle Ed.’

  ‘What’s his name?’

  ‘James. James Balfour.’

  Tina was grinning. ‘What does he look like? What does he do? How did you meet? Come on, Mum, spill the beans.’

  ‘Don’t you mind? I mean … your dad …’

  Tina took her mum’s hand. ‘I miss Dad, of course I do. But life goes on, Mum. You’ve been on your own for ages. You were bound to meet someone and move on sooner or later.’

  ‘I’m so glad you see it that way. I’ve been putting off telling you, actually, I was dreading it.’ Penny visibly relaxed. ‘James is lovely. He’s tall and blonde, and he’s in sales. I met him at Auntie Sammy’s birthday party.’

  ‘Sounds good so far.’

  ‘It won’t be so easy to get to visit you, that’s the only problem.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘When we’re married.’

  ‘Married!’

  ‘Yes, love. James and I are getting married.’ Penny played with the diamond ring she wore, twisting it around her finger. She kept her eyes on it as she said, ‘and I’m selling the house and moving to Liverpool.’

  ‘Mum, you can’t sell the house.’

  Penny looked puzzled. ‘Why not?’

  ‘What about Annie? Annie’s room, the memories, her and Dad, even the grave … Mum!’

  ‘I thought you’d be more bothered about not being a bridesmaid.’

  ‘I am. I am bothered that you would get married without me.’ Tina was on her feet, fists clenched. ‘Why can’t you wait? Why do you have to sell the house? Why can’t he come here to live with you?’

  ‘Sit down, Snowdon,’ said the prison officer on duty in the visitor’s room.

  Tina sat. She was crying, shaking. ‘Mum,’ she said, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. ‘Mum, please change your mind about this.’

  Penny looked embarrassed. ‘It’s all arranged, love. I can’t change it now.’

  ‘When do I get to meet him?’ Tina meant to appeal to James Balfour. Surely he would understand.

  Penny sat still, her body rigid, lips pursed.

  ‘Mum?’

  ‘You don’t get to meet him. I’m sorry, Tina, but I’m not bringing him here to see this.’

  Realisation dawned and Tina felt a chill creep into her. ‘You’re ashamed of me.’

  Penny couldn’t meet her eyes.

  ‘Have you even told him about me?’ Penny’s silence answered the question for her. Tina felt like she’d been punched. ‘But he must know who you are, what happened …?’

  Penny shook her head. ‘He doesn’t know anything about it.’

  ‘But the news … the story’s been in the news again, with my appeal. How can he not know?’

  ‘He just doesn’t. I’ve certainly never told him, anyway.’

  ‘And when I get out? What then?’

  ‘I haven’t thought that far ahead.’

  Tina stared in disbelief at her mother. ‘You aren’t going to come and see me again, are you?’

  ‘Yes, yes of course I am. When I can. And Ruth visits, and Vanessa.’

  ‘Vanessa’s moved away.’

  ‘But there’s Ruth.’

  ‘You’re my mum. I need you, don’t you realise that? Mum, I need you.’

  ‘Oh, Tina, you never needed me. You always did your own thing anyway.’ Penny smiled, a brave little smile for her daughter. ‘And you’re growing up. You need to stand on your own two feet, love. You’re strong, you’ll be fine. You’ll see.’ Penny stood. ‘Now, wish me well. The wedding is two weeks on Friday.’

  ***

  ‘I don’t have to explain myself to you,’ Penny exclaimed. It was the morning after her visit to the YOI to see Tina and she had opened the door to find Ruth Crinson on the front step.

  ‘Hello, Penny, nice to see you, too.’ Ruth walked into the house. ‘We need to talk.’ She continued through into the kitchen and put the kettle on, then sat down at the kitchen table. Penny followed along in her wake and hovered by the kitchen door. ‘I had your daughter on the phone to me in floods of tears last night,’ Ruth told her. ‘She should have been jubilant after the result of her appeal. You certainly do pick your times to kick that kid in the teeth.’

  ‘Look, I’m sorry she’s upset
, and yes, I admit the timing could have been better, but I’m not going to get the chance to see her again before the wedding. I had to tell her last night.’

  ‘You’ve pulled her support system out from under her. She’s a very vulnerable young woman.’

  ‘She’s an adult.’

  ‘Barely. She’s just turned nineteen.’

  ‘She’s an adult in the eyes of the law.’

  ‘For God’s sake, woman, this is your daughter we’re talking about.’

  The kettle boiled and Penny busied herself making coffee. It wasn’t that she wanted Ruth to stay, she just wanted time to gather her thoughts.

  ‘Look, Ruth,’ she said when they were seated at the table, a steaming mug of coffee in front of each of them. ‘I’m not getting any younger and I’m sick of being on my own.’

  ‘Oh, Penny, I can understand that. I don’t begrudge you your happiness. But does it have to be at the expense of your daughter?’

  ‘I don’t see any other way. You see,’ Penny said, spreading her hands out on the table and examining her nail polish, ‘this means a fresh new start for me. No one knows who I am in Liverpool. Sammy and Ed moved into their house about a year ago, they weren’t there when the search for Annie was in full swing, so the neighbours don’t know about it.’

  ‘No one connected the name?’

  ‘Well, their name is Robson, and Snowdon is common enough. So no one has made the connection, no.’

  ‘They will, though, you can be sure someone will twig at some point. Then what will you tell your husband? James, isn’t it?’ Penny nodded. ‘Surely it would be better to just be honest with him from the start?’

  Penny shrugged. ‘I want a new start.’

  ‘What happens when Tina’s released? How will you explain her to James then?’

  Penny sipped her coffee. ‘I don’t know. Maybe I’ll say she’s a friend, or the daughter of a friend. I’ll think of something.’