by Elaine Viets
“Stop the wedding!” she screamed.
“I beg your pardon?” Margery said.
The woman clung to the chair back and shrieked, “That woman is getting married under false pretenses. Her name is not Helen Hawthorne.”
“And how would you know?” Margery asked.
“Because I’m her mother,” the woman said. “The wedding is off.”
Epilogue
“Is there a lawyer in the house?” Margery asked.
Peggy’s strapping escort stepped forward. “I am,” Daniel said.
“But my specialty is contract law, so I’m not really up on domestic situations.”
“Helen here has been going by another name,” Margery said. “Can she still marry Phil?”
“I’d have to check the case law,” Daniel said. “But as I understand it, you can call yourself anything you want, as long as there’s no fraud involved.”
The wrinkled old woman charged forward, her shriveled body powered by outrage. Her bird bones were bent and brittle-looking. Her too-thick brown hair was a dark nest. “But there is fraud,” she insisted. “That woman is trying to fool God and man. She’s still married in God’s eyes.”
“I’m divorced,” Helen said.
“Do you have your decree?” Daniel asked.
“Uh, no,” Helen said. “I never wanted to see it—or my ex—again.”
“Religion aside, can she marry?” Margery said, dragging the subject back to the present.
“She changed her name to avoid the court ruling,” Helen’s mother said. “She didn’t want to pay Rob what was rightfully his.”
“Rob had no right to my money, or to me,” Helen said. “My mother is a nutcase.”
“Nutcase or not, is she right?” Margery asked Daniel.
“I’d have to research the law,” he said. “But right now, I couldn’t say if the wedding will be valid.”
“Then I can’t marry them,” Margery said.
Helen could hear the guests murmuring in confusion. Thumbs set up a mournful howl, though that may have had more to do with the end of the shrimp. “It’s okay, kitty,” Tommy said, and tried to entertain the cat with the bow Thumbs had torn off his neck.
Kathy abandoned her bouquet and put her arms around her mother. “Mom, how did you get here?” she asked gently.
“I took the bus,” her mother said.
“Why are you doing this?” Kathy asked. Helen could hear the tears in her sister’s voice.
“What God has joined together, let no man put asunder,” their mother screeched. “I warned her. I sent her letter after letter, but she didn’t listen to me. She never did.”
Helen stared in shock at the wrinkled little woman. “Mom?” she asked. “You sent those threatening letters? But you don’t live in Ocean City, Maryland.”
“Your great-aunt Marie does. She forwarded them from different towns in the area, the way I asked her to.”
Aunt Marie? The old woman who talked about her operations when Helen met her one Thanksgiving years ago?
“But why?” Helen said.
“To save your immortal soul,” her mother said. “I’d rather see you dead than burning in hell for divorcing your husband.” Her mother’s eyes were mad. She trembled and gasped for breath. Helen feared she might have a heart attack.
“Sit down, Mother, you’re upset,” Kathy said.
“Of course I’m upset,” her mother said. “My daughter’s soul is in peril.”
“Grandma?” little Allison said. “Is Grandma sick?”
“I’d better call an ambulance,” Margery said, and went inside to dial 911.
The paramedics arrived and carried Helen’s mother to the hospital. “I’ll go with her,” Kathy said.
Phil put his arms around Helen and said,“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know,” Helen said. “I feel like I’ve been turned to stone. I’ll go to the hospital later, when I’m not so shocked.”
“What do we do in the meantime?” Phil asked.
“Eat and drink, if we can’t be merry,” Helen said. “Otherwise, this food will go to waste. I’ll tell the guests what happened.”
“Maybe we could return the tuxes this afternoon and get our money back,” Cal said.
Helen could hear Eric Clapton singing his song of hopeless love, “Layla.” “You’ve got me on my knees,” Clapton howled.
“Helen, we will get past this. We will marry,” Phil said.
Helen slipped out of Phil’s arms and sank down in a rented chair. Her fashionably painted face dissolved in her tears. “Do you really mean that?” she asked, trying to smile. “Do you still want to marry me when you’ll have a crazy mother-in-law?”
“I’ll have a beautiful sister-in-law, a terrific brother-in-law, an adorable niece and a nephew who wrestles alligators and wrangles cats.”
Helen managed a half smile.
Phil got down on his knees and took her hand. “Sweetheart, we will get married. I swear it. I’ll go to St. Louis, clear your name, and we’ll live happily ever after.”
Helen looked at the bare spot on her left hand where her wedding ring was meant to be. “You will?” she said.
“I promise, if it’s the last thing I do.” Phil kissed her.
ALSO BY ELAINE VIETS
ANGELA RICHMAN, DEATH INVESTIGATOR
Brain Storm
Fire and Ashes
Ice Blonde (Novella)*
DEAD-END JOB MYSTERIES
Shop Till You Drop*
Murder Between the Covers*
Dying to Call You*
Just Murdered*
Murder Unleashed*
Murder With Reservations*
Clubbed to Death*
Killer Cuts*
Half Price Homicide*
Pumped for Murder*
Final Sail*
Board Stiff*
Catnapped!*
Checked Out
The Art of Murder
Killer Blonde (Novella)
JOSIE MARCUS, MYSTERY SHOPPER
Dying in Style*
High Heels Are Murder*
Accessory to Murder*
Murder with All the Trimmings*
The Fashion Hound Murders*
An Uplifting Murder*
Death on a Platter*
Murder is a Piece of Cake*
Fixing to Die*
A Dog Gone Murder*
FRANCESCA VIERLING MYSTERIES
Backstab
Rubout
The Pink Flamingo Murders
Doc in the Box
*Available in JABberwocky eBook editions
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Elaine Viets has written 32 mysteries in four series: the bestselling Dead-End Job series with South Florida PI Helen Hawthorne, the cozy Josie Marcus Mystery Shopper mysteries, and the dark Francesca Vierling mysteries. With the Angela Richman Death Investigator series, Elaine returns to her hardboiled roots and uses her experience as a stroke survivor and her studies at the Medicolegal Death Investigators Training Course. Elaine was a director at large for the Mystery Writers of America. She's a frequent contributor to Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine and anthologies edited by Charlaine Harris and Lawrence Block. Elaine won the Anthony, Agatha and Lefty Awards.
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