Suddenly my arm was pulled backward slightly and before I realized what was going on I was leaning over Tony. He had grabbed me gently and pulled me to him. Now my mouth was right in front of his.
His warm, sweet breath was coming up to me. His eyes were staring right into mine pulling me into him. This was really happening.
And his lips were touching mine, massaging them with his own, his warm mouth engulfing my own with total comfort and sweet pleasure. I felt my body coming forwards towards his. This felt so right.
But we couldn’t do this. We could not do this...
Why did something that was so wrong feel so good? I wanted it to go further I wanted him to rip my clothes off and just throw me on the couch and take me in every possible way. I wanted his hands to rub over my large, luscious breasts. I needed to feel his hard girth deep inside of my center filling me up so tightly… so tightly… I could feel myself already getting so moist as I anticipated what I wished would happen next.
But I knew it just couldn’t. I had to pull it back. I had to, but I felt so weak. I was willing my body to pull away and keep this lust from materializing further but my body was not responding. What was I going to do?
Suddenly Tony made the decision for me.
Tony pulled back right then slowly. His warmth was gently being replaced by the cold air between. I longed for him, wanted him. I wanted to pull back in and continue the kiss. I didn’t want it to end, but I knew that it must.
Our lips brushed against each other once more as they pushed off. Tony looked square in my eyes again as he smiled at me. My whole body felt frozen in place.
“Goodnight,” Tony said as he slowly released my arm.
I stood back up and walked towards the door. My feet felt like they were not touching the floor and I had to pay careful attention to each step to make sure that I was not going to misstep and fall on my face. That would have been a significant downer after the amazing experience that had just happened to me.
“Goodnight,” I said softly as I walked through the door and headed towards my room.
When I reached my room, I closed the door behind me very slowly. Devon was still sound asleep. I checked on him and marveled at how he became more beautiful every single day. I loved my little angel more than my next breath. I thanked God every day that he had given me this beautiful little boy.
I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes. I tried to drift right off to sleep but it was just not happening. I’d been having trouble drifting off earlier because my mind had been stuck on the ski races and the fight that had happened earlier that day.
Derek and Tony had basically avoided each other since then. I hoped they would bury the hatchet soon, but I wasn’t counting on it. There was some definite animosity brewing between those two guys.
And I believed a lot of it was about me. I found the idea of two guys kind of fighting over me flattering, but it was also a headache I didn’t really need.
I realized that Derek felt very threatened by Tony and I understood that Tony was not about to put up with any of Derek’s childish crap either. I felt sorry for Derek, but the more I thought about the accident the madder I got at him. Was Tony right? Did Derek really try to injure him out there?
I didn’t want to believe it and I doubted I would without solid proof, which I did not see forthcoming. I doubted that Derek would ever admit that sort of thing to me even if he did do it. It was probably for the best; I wasn’t sure I wanted to know that Derek would go to that length to get rid of competition that wasn’t there.
What about Beth? Did she suspect that Tony had feelings for me? Or was that just her natural paranoia I was feeling?
I groaned as I realized my life was turning into one of those bizarre soap operas I had caught on TV during the day. I hated those stupid shows and I swore I would never allow myself to get caught up in juvenile stuff like that, but here I was finding myself smack dab in the middle of that same type of stuff.
I hoped that tomorrow would be better and that everything would start to sort itself out. It was only two days until Christmas. This was going to be a long week.
Chapter Seven
“It feels so good out here.”
I looked around at the trees, the sunshine that was peeking through the break in the overcast sky, and the crisp, cold air that swirled around my face in the space above my hooded sweatshirt and gave me an odd sense of peace. Derek looked over at me as if hoping I would agree with him.
There was a different look in his eyes today. He acted like something was definitely on his mind. I had a few ideas what might be worrying him or what he might have had to tell me, but I didn’t want to pry or ask him what was up. If he wanted to tell me then he would just come right out and say it.
"It is actually. I hardly miss the city at all," I said. This wasn't exactly true, but the peace and quiet were pretty sweet I had to admit. That was something you took for granted when you lived in a rural area like this. Nothing surrounding you but the sounds of nature.
“I sometimes think about coming back here and just giving it all up,” Derek said.
“So, moving here is giving up?” I asked. I wasn’t sure where this was going.
“Well, I mean the city life. I grew up in a small town and we lived just outside of it in the country. It was a nice idyllic place to grow up. I remember that I practically counted the days until I could leave the place and now I almost count the days until I come back.”
“Well, what’s stopping you? You can come back her anytime you want.”
“I feel like I’m giving up if I do that. And I just won’t let myself give up. I won’t let myself become a statistic.”
I looked at him as if he had lost his mind entirely. “You think that moving back to where you grew up and trying something new makes you a statistic?”
"Yea, to me it is. It doesn't feel like it would be trying something new. To me, it's giving up on what I set out to do and going back to what's safe. I can't let myself do that."
"I can understand that, I guess. But at some point, you have to ask yourself if you still have the same dream you had before. I've always believed that things happen for a reason, even bad things. And sometimes it is terrifyingly hard to find out what that is."
Derek looked at me and smiled. He stopped walking and just stood there.
“You are incredibly wise, Jackie Banks,” Derek said.
“Well, thank you. I’ve always thought so. Why else would you put up with me?” I joked. I wished instantly I hadn’t asked that last question. It was offhanded and I immediately felt like I had opened a can of worms. Was Derek going to take that bait?
I could see the gears turning in his eyes.
“I often wonder,” he said.
I laughed. “Hey, that isn’t fair.”
“What isn’t fair? Life is sure as hell turning out to not be fair. That bastard Josh Thorn needs to pay for what he did to us.”
“Wow, where did that come from? I thought we were playing around and you just throw that out there…” I said.
“Sorry, it’s just really been weighing on my mind lately,” Derek said.
He was silent for a minute. I wanted to tell him that it was pointless to think about that jerk, but that wasn’t the sort of pep talk that Derek needed right then. I think he just wanted me to listen most of all. Despite doing most of the talking in most situations, I was actually a really good listener.
“I’ve had some bad thoughts, especially lately,” Derek finally said.
“What kind of bad thoughts?” I braced myself. Was this the please don’t commit suicide talk or the please don’t commit murder talk?
“I’ve had thoughts about going to his place and just putting several silver bullets right through his heart.”
Ok, that answered that question. I knew that the only way to kill a shifter was to shoot them in the heart with a silver bullet. Or another shifter could suck their soul out. But shooting them with a silver bullet just sounde
d easier, I supposed.
“That’s not you,” I said.
"What? Don't you think I've got it in me to kill someone? He is a despicable being. God only knows how many people he has probably killed."
“We don’t have any evidence that he has actually killed anyone.”
“He tried to kill you. You think that you are the first woman to reject him?”
I didn’t really have an answer for that. I supposed that the idea had definitely crossed my mind, but I was not ready to dwell on it enough to think of it. I guess that it was just putting it all out of my mind.
“I guess not, but if you want to get him then do it right and find some evidence of his crimes. Put the police on his trail,” I said.
"You think the police could do anything against him? They wouldn't have a clue. Besides if something like what he is got out in the media then our kind would be ruined. We would have to hide forever. They might find out about us and have us all destroyed."
I closed my eyes and swallowed. I had never thought of that. Derek had obviously had much deeper conversations with himself about this than I had.
“So, what are you going to do? Go in there and fight him again? Or just sneak up on him? He could probably pick up your sent two blocks away.”
“I kicked his ass last time,” Derek said.
“That’s right,” I replied. “You did.”
I put my arm encircling his. “Thank you,” I said warmly. He had saved my life and I would always love him for that. He was my best friend by far and I hoped he knew that.
Derek smiled, the mood lightened a bit. “I would have kicked Tony’s ass too,” he said.
I rolled my eyes. “That fight was stupid,” I laughed. “What would make him think that you tried to take him out during the race?”
“I don’t know. The guy doesn’t like me too much, I guess. I think he knows that I’m onto him and he’s afraid I’m going to spill the beans about who he really is.”
I was now alarmed. “What do you mean?”
“Well, keep this under wraps. Beth would freak if she found out, but Tony is a Grizzly.”
“What do you mean? He turns into a Grizzly bear instead of a black bear like we do?” I asked.
Derek laughed. “No. The bear shifters turn into is not the same type of bear that you would find in the wild in case you hadn’t noticed. Grizzly refers to a pack of bears that live outside of the conventional rules and laws that the rest of us do. They have their own set of laws.”
“Ok, I wasn’t aware that any of us had any special laws,” I said. I was getting confused. Derek wasn’t really being clear.
“Well, yea we all have freedom and basically our lives are very similar to the way that normal people live. But we do have some guidelines we have to abide by. We do what we can to keep our secret, we don’t kill people, and we don’t make others of our kind.”
Apparently, Josh didn’t really follow most of those rules. I understood that most shifters are not made like I am, but most are actually born. It was something that ran in families.
It always made me feel a bit like a freak among the shifter community, but then again, the only shifters I really knew were Derek and his family.
“So, what are you saying? That Tony kills people?”
"I don't know, but his pack does. They believe that the same laws that apply to humans just don't apply to shifters and they mistakenly believe that killing people somehow makes them more powerful, despite there being any evidence that such a thing actually occurs."
I shook my head. “I don’t believe that Tony is a murderer. I just don’t see it. He is too nice of a guy.”
“Well, most people appear nice and normal, even when they aren’t.”
“I just find it hard to believe that Tony is that type of guy.”
“Like I said I don’t know for sure about him personally, but I did some research into his background and I discovered this about his family.”
I didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Just imagining Tony actually being a murderer was beyond my realm of comprehension right then.
I did not think that Derek would be making this up, but then again, he may have received some poor information. I felt like calling him out on that, but I didn’t want to blatantly call him a liar. Derek was a bit weird that way. He was always thinking that people were judging him and trying to say he was not telling the truth.
“Are you going to tell Beth? I know you don’t want to hurt her, but she needs to know if her boyfriend might be dangerous,” I said.
Was I really believing this? I wasn’t sure yet. I mostly just wanted to keep the conversation going, so I didn’t have to go nuts thinking that my baby was back at the resort with a murderer.
Surely this was fake. Every time I heard it in my mind it just sounded so crazy.
“She is a bear shifter, so he isn’t too dangerous to her. It’s more of a moral thing,” Derek said with a smile.
I wasn’t sure how to take him right then. The guy smiled about the weirdest stuff sometimes. I thought that maybe it was just the way he got nervous sometimes and stuck his foot in his mouth.
“She deserves to know,” I said.
“I could try, but I won’t tell her here. She won’t believe me anyway.”
“It might plant seeds of doubt in her mind and maybe she can check it out for herself.”
“I’ll tell her when the vacation is over.”
I hoped he would. We didn’t really talk much on the way back to the resort. I found myself walking faster than normal wanting to get there quickly. I was suddenly very worried about little Devon.
No matter how many times I tried to tell myself that this was all crazy it was just no use. My mother instincts were kicking in and I had to get back there to my baby and make sure he was safe and sound.
I felt stupid for worrying. I was not a person easy to fool, but there were people out there who could do it. I had seen many of them in court who could hand in performances that would make Oscar-winning movie stars look like amateurs. Was Tony one of them?
When we got back to the resort I found Devon playing in his little playpen we had packed while Debra sat on the couch reading a book. I breathed a sigh of relief to see him there happy, safe, and content.
After making sure he was ok I started to feel really stupid. Did I really allow myself to entertain the notion that Tony might kill my baby? That was the most ridiculous things I had ever heard.
“Did you guys have a good hike?” Bill asked coming out of the kitchen with a glass of wine. The man loved his wine.
“Yea, it felt good just to get out and enjoy nature a bit,” Derek said.
“I thought you moved to the city because you were sick of nature?” Beth said.
I hardly even realized that she was there I was so focused on Devon. Beth was sitting on the couch snuggling against Tony. He looked at me just then and I felt a twinge of rage fly over me. I wanted to jerk every hair out of Beth’s head.
“Funny sis,” Derek said.
I sat down in the closest chair and listened as the family talked and visited. They mostly left me alone and didn’t ask me too much, which I was grateful for. And when they offered me a glass of wine I took it and enjoyed it greatly.
I tried not to think too much about what Derek had said. Now that I was in the same room with Tony again I knew that Derek had to be mistaken. Or he was feeding me a line of total crap.
Whatever it was I was going to get to the bottom of it.
Chapter Eight
“Is there anything you can’t do?”
I heard the flattering words just as I came to a hard stop at the end of my routine, if you could even call it that. I had not been on ice skates in almost ten years, but it came back to me even more easily than skiing did. And no super powers needed.
The skating pond was fantastic. When Tony suggested that we go ice skating the idea didn't really grab me, but as we walked upon the deeply frozen pond and all of the peop
le having so much fun skating around, all the memories of my childhood came flooding back to me.
Debra had a pair of skates that fit me she let me borrow, and so I was pretty much out of excuses at that point. I had to go and I was glad I did almost immediately.
The moment I glided out onto the ice my body took over and I remembered some of the routines I used to do as a kid. For a brief period between the ages of eight and ten, I was really into ice skating. I showed great promise and my mom even signed me up for lessons so that I could do all sorts of cool tricks and impress my fans. I never had any aspirations or silly dreams of being an Olympic figure skater or anything, but I did enjoy it.
“Yea, I used to skate a bunch when I was a kid,” I replied. “I guess I still got it.”
“I guess you do,” Tony said.
“I’m surprised that Beth didn’t want to come,” I said.
"Well, I guess you didn't hear," Tony said.
“Hear what?”
“I broke up with her last night,” Tony said.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “You did what?”
“Yea, it happened.”
“Oh wow! I thought you were going to wait until you guys got back to the city to spring it on her.”
“Well, that was the plan, but it just came out. She was ragging me about something stupid and I just decided that it was enough and I couldn’t put up with a whole week of this crap. I told her it was over.”
“Well, how did she take it?” I asked. I could not wait to hear this.
“She took it better than I thought she would, but of course she is still ripping mad,” Tony said.
“That is to be expected,” I replied.
“She yelled for a few minutes and then she relented and agreed she thought it was over too. That opened the door for me to tell her basically what had been bugging me about the relationship all this time and she agreed to most of it too. It went way too smooth and now I’m really scared,” Tony said.
I couldn’t hold back the laughter.
“That woman should have been ready to tear my hair out, but instead she agrees with me about the breakup. I don’t get it. You’ve met Beth. You know how unpleasant she can be when she doesn’t get her way.”
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