“Thank you for all that you’ve done for me.”
“You’re welcome, Hessa.” Jemal smiled at her fondly.
“It’s Lillian, actually.”
“Lillian. A beautiful name.”
As soon as Jemal took his leave, Lillian walked over to the bath. She tested the temperature of the water first skimming her fingertips gingerly across the surface of the water. Tendrils of steam rose up, dissipating into the air.
Lillian quickly shed her clothing then stepped into the bath. A soft moan escaped her lips when she lowered herself into the water. She inched her bottom forward until her shoulders submerged, then she closed her eyes, luxuriating in the warmth.
“My God, you’re beautiful.” Jackson stood just inside the entrance to the tent. He reached for the button of his shirt, his eyes filled with desire, his intent clear.
“I bet you say that to all your wives,” Lillian teased.
Jackson’s expression clouded. His arms dropped to his sides. “I’m sorry, I have no right to expect—”
“I want you to join me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Very sure.”
Despite her assurance, Jackson still hesitated.
Lillian moved forward to make room for him. “I promise I won’t peek,” she teased, averting her gaze.
Jackson quickly stripped off his clothes, and then stepped into the tub behind her. He circled his arm around her waist, encouraging Lillian to recline back against his chest.
“Is this all right? I’m not hurting you?” Lillian asked.
Jackson placed a kiss on the top of her head.
“No, pet. You’re not hurting me.”
“You’re afraid you’re going to hurt me. Or that we’re going to hurt one another.”
“Lillian—”
“No. We need to discuss this.”
Jackson reached around her and, unable to restrain himself he began to fondle her breasts. “You expect me to have a serious conversation with you here in the bath?”
Lillian arched up into his waiting hands. “I’m sorry, Jackson. I have to know. What is this to you? What is it that you want, or hope this to be?”
“It doesn’t matter what I hope, what I want. What matters is what is.”
Lillian sat up, pulled her knees tight against her body, and pivoted to face him. “Don’t say that. Your hopes, your dreams, they matter. They matter to me. Don’t be afraid. Please. I have to know what’s happening between us.”
Jackson’s head fell back so it rested against the edge of the tub.
“I’m not sure that I’m going to survive this war. Truth be told, when I came to Arabia, I wasn’t sure that there was anything worth surviving for. Now there’s you. For the first time I find myself wishing…”
“Wishing what?”
He lifted his head and looked her into her eyes. “That things were different. But things aren’t different. They are what they are, and I am what I am.”
“I know that you aren’t free. I know that you’re on a mission here. I understand that the mission comes first.”
“But?”
“I think I might be falling in love with you.”
“Oh, Lillian.” Jackson grasped her head in his hands and his mouth came crashing down upon hers. His tongue slipped inside the velvety caverns of her mouth. Jackson was in heaven as he languidly explored the barely familiar territory.
“I tried not to.”
“Shh. I want you. Need you.” He whispered his confession while peppering hot, wet kisses along the length of her neck and across her collarbone. “Just the thought, the very idea that Ahmed could be here, now.”
Lillian’s hand wrapped around his cock and squeezed it gently. “But he isn’t. It’s you. Only you.”
Jackson’s hand drifted down and slid between their undulating bodies. Embarrassed, she let go of him, both hands grasping for his. “No! They—”.
“It’s all right,” Jackson said, his voice deep with passion. He was starving for her. He grasped one of her hands in each of his, and then positioned them on the edge of the tub before slipping a finger between her folds, and separating them. “Christ, feel how wet you are? I have to taste you.”
Jackson reached down, placing his hands underneath her bottom, and lifted her. As he elevated her body he lifted his own legs, positioning his feet on the far end of the tub, allowing her to lean back against his legs.
“What?” she gasped, instinctively closing her legs. “What are you doing?—”
“Don’t hide from me. Please.” His eyes searched out hers. “You want to know what you are to me? You are my heart. My wife. You, Lillian, will be the one reason I am going to live through this bloody war. You are my wife.”
“Really?” she said, looking into his eyes.
“Really!” Jackson used his fingers to open her outer folds, and then he dipped his head down, and eagerly swept his tongue up the length of her slit. He lapped at her eagerly, and then latched onto her clit, tugging gently. “Mmm,” he moaned, the vibrations further stimulated her already aroused sex and increased the flow of her juices.
“Oh!” Lillian turned her head to the side, embarrassed.
“Lillian, love? Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing,” she said, trying to sound casual.
“Look at me, pet. Has no one ever done this for you before?”
Lillian shook her head and looked away again.
Jackson lowered her legs, allowing her once again to submerge in the water. He pulled her close to him, moving her legs so she straddled his hips. Then he gently removed one of her hands from the side of the tub. He pulled it into the water and wrapped it around his erection. “See what you do to me? You excite me beyond belief. The sound of your voice, your touch, your smell, your taste.”
Lillian looked up then and met his eyes. “You liked doing that?”
Jackson smiled. “Oh, yes. Very much.”
“Are you going to want to do that again?”
“Yes. If it’s all right with you.”
Lillian seemed to be giving the question serious consideration. “Are there other unusual things that you’re going to want to do?”
“Define unusual.”
“Well, anything that’s not usual, I guess. How did we get on this topic?”
“I believe that I was deliriously happy feasting on your quim and then I noticed you were…embarrassed? Maybe not enjoying it?”
She looked past him, unable to meet his eyes. “Embarrassed, yes, and confused. I was thinking that perhaps I shouldn’t be enjoying it.”
Jackson reached out, cupped her chin in the palm of his hand and turned her face towards him. “A part of you did enjoy it? The feel of my tongue on you?”
“Yes,” she said quietly.
“So you’d be willing to give it another go, sometime?”
Lillian attempted to turn away, but he held her chin in place, looking straight into her eyes.
“All right, yes!” She flushed a bright shade of crimson.
“I love you,” Jackson said seriously.
“You don’t have to say that.”
“No. But it’s true, and I wanted you to know.”
Lillian leaned forward and tentatively kissed his lips. She could taste a hint of herself on them and before she could second-guess her response she swept her tongue across them, first his upper lip, then his lower one.
Jackson’s lips curved into a smile as she abandoned them and lapped at his chin.
“God, you’re going to be fun,” he groaned, biting on his lower lip.
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
“I don’t really know what to do, what you want.”
Her hand still fisted around his cock. He placed his own on top of it and squeezed, and then guided it up the shaft. “You’re doing fine, love.”
“I want to do better than fine. I want to know how to please you.”
Her hand brushed over the bulbo
us head, before sliding back down. “Fine. I’ll make you a list.”
“A list? You have an entire list of unusual stuff in mind?”
“First off, you’ve got the categories all wrong. It’s not usual and unusual.”
“No?”
“How about the things we’ve tried and the things we’ve yet to try?”
“How about the things we’ve tried, the things I’m willing to try, and the ‘absolutely no way, mister. You better find yourself another girl’?”
Jackson laughed. “Another girl? Now that’s a thought. That Iman seemed up for a go.”
Lillian released his cock and placed her hand over his mouth, silencing him. “Take that back before I have to hurt you.”
“Somebody’s jealous,” he sang.
“Somebody is most certainly not.”
“Good!”
But she was, and the realization made her feel vulnerable. “Should I be?”
“No. No one is going to displace you. I’ve made a commitment to you. As long as we’re here I plan to keep it,” he answered truthfully.
Lillian leaned her forehead against his. “As long as we’re here,” she whispered.
“You know things in our world are more complicated, Lillian. I have another commitment. One I’m not free of.”
“I know. But we’re here, for now. You’re mine, for now.”
“Yes.”
“Say it?” she asked, reaching down once again for his cock and stroking it back to hardness.
“I’m yours.” He said the words softly against the outer shell of her ear. “All yours.” Jackson licked, tracing a pattern down the side of her neck and over her collarbone. “Only yours.” He lowered his head taking her nipple into his mouth and suckling at her breast.
Lillian arched her back. “Please.”
He released her breast. “Please what?”
“I want to feel you inside of me.”
Jackson reached down, lifted her up slightly, and slowly lowered her onto his shaft.
Lillian groaned, her head lolling back.
He reached one arm behind her. “Lean back just a bit, love.”
She did and the angle offered increased friction. His erection came in contact with her clit as he continued to thrust inside of her.
“More!”
“Is this what you had in mind, baby?” asked Jackson as he twisted his hips slightly, pushing himself in further and increasing his pace.
“Yes!” Lillian’s breaths coming in pants, she held onto the sides of the tub, her knuckles turning white. “Oh, God! Oh, Jackson! I’m—”
The orgasm swept over her. Her chest, neck, and face flushed with passion, her hair slightly damp from the water. Jackson kissed her passionately as he let go with one final thrust.
Lillian collapsed against his chest.
“You’re mine,” he murmured, gently stroking her back.
Lillian closed her eyes, savoring the moment. “Yes, I’m yours.”
Lillian opened her eyes and noticed Jackson stretched out opposite her on the sleeping pallet. “Hey.”
“Hey, yourself, beautiful.”
“Have you been awake long?”
“No, pet. You just drifted off a few minutes ago. I haven’t fallen asleep yet. Sorry if I woke you. I tried not to disturb you.”
Lillian sat up. “What are you doing?”
“Just writing a bit.” Jackson rolled onto his side. “I like to do that before I sleep. It helps me clear my head.”
“What do you write about?”
“Just thoughts.”
For a minute Lillian just watched Jackson’s pencil move across the paper. “Private, off limit thoughts?”
Jackson looked up, tilted his head to the side, and frowned.
“Maybe. I’m not used to revealing…”
“What?”
“Myself.”
“Tell me a secret,” said Lillian. “Something no one else knows.”
“Maybe later, after we get some sleep. I’m completely knackered.” Jackson shut the book, tucked it under the pallet, and climbed under the covers.
“Jackson?”
“Yeah?” He’d closed his eyes and spooned up behind her.
“You’re avoiding, I think. I want to know you. I’m here. You don’t need to share your thoughts with a book. You have me here, a real live person.” Lillian turned around to face him.
“People judge. Paper, in my experience, tends to take a neutral position.”
“Okay, I’ll go first. There have been times that, you know, I’ve had thoughts and, well, feelings.”
Jackson looked at her, a puzzled expression on his face. “Go on.”
“Well, when I have those thoughts, sometimes I…”
“Sometime you what?”
“You know.”
It took him a minute. “You’ve masturbated?”
“No! Maybe. Is that horrid?”
“That’s your big secret? Hell, I’ve jerked off thousands of times. You’re adorable, you know that? Night, love.” Jackson kissed her softly on the lips and rolled over.
“I think you forgot something.”
“Wrote in my journal, kissed you goodnight, said goodnight.”
Lillian swatted him playfully on the head. “Secret! One! Now!”
“All right! All right! Bloody Hell! Let’s see.”
“Come on, I’m on the edge of my seat here.”
“Something no one else knows?” He rolled onto his back.
“Yes!”
“The child Maria and I lost? It might not have been mine. It could have been. But it might not have been.”
“And, you married her? Knowing that it might not have been yours?”
“I loved her,” he said quietly.
“Did the other guy know about the baby?”
“Yes, he knew. He was a married friend of her father’s. Apparently it had been going on for some time, years in fact. She was terrified of him. She told me when she discovered she was pregnant. I broke his nose, married her, and that was that. Couldn’t stand to see her shamed.”
“Oh, Jackson. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t regret it. It was the right thing to do.”
“There have been others, since her?” Lillian asked hesitantly.
“I’m not a saint, Lillian.”
She smiled. “Of course there have been others.”
Jackson laid there quietly for a moment before sitting up. “Fact is, I was just passing time. It never meant anything.”
“And this?” Lillian desperately needed reassurance.
“I meant it when I said I loved you, if that’s what you’re asking. No matter what happens, I don’t want you to doubt that. Do you hear me?”
“What’s going to happen, Jackson?”
“Right now? We’re going to sleep a bit.” He lay back down, then kissed her lightly. “Tomorrow? I’ll get started on that list. I convinced Abdulla to postpone the wedding feast until tomorrow night. We’ve got this afternoon, tonight, and all day tomorrow.”
“All that time, whatever are you going to do with me?”
“Going to fuck you until your—”
“Jackson!” Lillian gasped as she clamped her hand quickly over his mouth.
Jackson immediately broke into laughter. He sat up and pulled his journal out from under the pallet.
Lillian peered over his shoulder. “What are you doing?”
He read aloud as he scribbled in the book. “Number one. Get Lillian to talk dirty while you shag her into oblivion.” Then he snapped the book closed, tucked it back into its place under the pallet, rolled her onto her side and snuggled up behind her.
“Dirty talk? Is that all it takes to keep you happy, mister?”
Jackson pushed his hips forward, allowing his hardening cock to brush up against her bare bottom. “Apparently just the thought of it is enough to get me on the way to happy.”
Lillian moaned as he reached between her legs and began to finger
her slit. “Thought you were going to sleep?”
“I am sleeping,” he responded, “As a matter of fact, I’m having an incredible dream.” He kissed her shoulder.
“Where are you in the dream?” she asked.
“Wherever you are.” Jackson slipped a finger inside of her and began to gradually thrust in an out.
“In the middle of the Sahara, my flat in London.” He added a second finger.
Lillian’s breathing became increasingly ragged, her excitement continued to build.
“Maybe back in my brownstone in Boston?”
“If that’s what you want.” He removed his fingers, then scooted closer.
“Tell me you want me.” Jackson lifted her leg, his cock slid between them. He was thick and hard.
“I want you,” she gasped. “God, can’t you feel how much I want you?”
He pushed inside of her, filling her, penetrating her deeply.
“Yes.” His thrusts started off slow and deliberate, each one stimulating Lillian’s clit. Then the tempo quickened.
Lillian matched his pace, pushing back against him.
“Oh, God. Yes. Just like that,” Jackson moaned. “You feel so good, surrounding me like that. It feels as if I’ve died and gone to heaven, pet. Don’t stop.”
Lillian continued, although exhausted. She became aware that a slight sheen of perspiration covered them both. The slick sensation as their bodies rocked against one another seemed to heighten her pleasure. She could tell by his breathing that he was close. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t think. She was close, too. Jackson moved inside of her, hard and fast. Once, twice, and then he came, releasing a loud roar as he bit down, softly on her shoulder.
Jackson’s breathing slowed. Lillian, however, could still feel the tremors of her orgasm coursing through her body, leaving each and every nerve aflame. Jackson reached around her and lowered his hand, brushing the pad of his thumb over Lillian’s clit.
“No!” she gasped. “Stop! I can’t! It’s too much.”
Jackson released her and rolled her onto her back.
“It’s not too much. It’s just right.” He swept her damp hair off her face.
The Soldier & The Spy Page 7
