by Dawn Doyle
The guy that would show her what he felt.
The guy that wouldn’t mess with her head because he was afraid she didn’t like him back.
“Logan.”
I turned round to find Carl waiting for me as he called my name.
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” I snorted a laugh. “Sorry doesn’t quite cut it, Carl.”
“I know. I can’t excuse what I did, but now I understand exactly what you guys had and… I’m sorry.”
Carl walked away, leaving me staring after him wondering what had made him come to his senses after all this time.
Going home, I was amazed to see that Matt wasn’t there. It was strange coming home, and not seeing his car parked in my spot.
After the game, I’d assumed he’d stay after he and our parents got back.
Since he’d admitted he’d seen Chase ‘looking’ at me, he’d kept pretty quiet and stayed away. I wondered how long it’d last though. Knowing him, it’d be a day or so and then he’d be back.
“Logan!” My Mom squealed, hurrying towards me, her arms open, as I walked through the door. “I’m so proud of you!” She gushed, hugging me tight.
“You were great out there, son. Amazing. I can smell the scholarship papers already.” My Dad said, clapping me on the back as my Mom held her grip on me.
“Thanks Dad.” I replied. Not telling him that my grades had been slipping these past two weeks. Not just in math; in every subject. I guess my brain couldn’t compete with my broken heart.
“So I gather Lex is throwing a party?” He asked with a knowing smile.
“He is. He wants the whole team to be there, but I don’t want to go.” I said, my voice catching.
“Logan. You should go. Take your mind off things for a while. Who knows, after the weekend, things might look up.”
“How? How are they going to look up?” I asked. Liam had already annihilated my plans. “Chase isn’t coming back. She won’t talk to me and no matter what I say, she has somebody…” I couldn’t speak. I broke free from my Mom’s grasp, and I headed to my room.
Throwing myself on my bed, the conversation with Stu came to the forefront of my mind.
“Deal with this later.”
“I know what you think you’re seeing up there…”
It didn’t make sense. It was if he knew something I didn’t. I was going to find out exactly what he knew.
After showering, I drove to Lex’s house. Some of the guys were already there. Heading out to the back of the house, I saw Lex and Adam talking.
“Logan! I’m glad you came, dude.” He said.
It looked as though he wasn’t expecting me to come after all.
“Yeah. I needed to get out and take my mind off… things.”
Lex nodded. Knowing what I was talking about, and not letting Adam know.
“So, is Chase coming?” Adam asked, and Lex slowly closed his eyes and then dropped his head. As if he were saying ‘Oh shit’.
“Why? Why would you ask that?” I asked, my blood beginning to reach a high simmer.
“Whoa, Logan. He’s just making a comment.” Lex raised his hands in front, obviously wanting me to calm down.
“Still mad at you?” Adam asked.
Of course, he would’ve found out. A lot of the kids at school thought Chase and I were together and had broken up.
“I told him what happened, sorry.” Said Lex. “He wanted to know what was up with you.”
“Fucking fantastic!” I said. “So you’ve all been having a great time laughing behind my back?”
“No, it’s not like that.” Adam said. “I was concerned. Your head wasn’t in the game, during practice. I didn’t say anything to anybody else.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” I said, turning away. I walked out into the garden, grabbing a beer from the cooler on my way.
I’d sat for a little while, when Pike joined me, passing me another beer. We sat in silence; Pike showing his support by not leaving me on my own.
Downing the beer, I saw Stu coming out with Carl. Closely behind, I saw that fucking asshole who’d taken her away from me.
Liam fucking Walters.
I wanted to kill him right there.
Stu said something to him and then came over to me.
“Hey, guys.” He said happily.
“What the fuck Stu?!” I whisper shouted. “What happened to being on my side?”
Stu looked around before gesturing for me to move away from prying ears.
“I am on your side.” He said, keeping his voice low.
“Yeah, so coming in with Liam, after he was at the game with Chase is considered my side?”
“It’s not what you think, Logan.” He said, looking nervous.
“Really?” I asked sarcastically. “So what do I think, Sherlock?”
“Logan, he’s not with Chase.”
“Yeah, he sure looked like it. Sitting there, smiling at her and making her laugh. No, that didn’t look cosy as fuck.” I snarled, the beer buzz giving me loose lips.
“He’s not. Look, he went with her, but he’s not with her.”
“How can you be so sure, Stu? In fact, you seem to know a lot more than usual today. So come on… tell me!”
“Because he’s… with me.”
“Huh?” I asked, frozen to the spot.
“Liam’s with me. We’re… together. Chase hooked us up. That’s why he was there with her; for me.”
“Ohhh.” I said as it dawned on me what Stu was saying.
A grin spread across my face, and before I knew it I was wrapping my arms around Stu and hugging him.
“Um… Logan?” Stu asked, pushing me back. “You do realize what I’ve just told you?"
“Yeah. You’re point is…?” I asked, still grinning like an idiot.
“Liam and I…”
“I get it, Stu. Liam’s your date. Good for you. Hey, I’m glad you told me. Do the others know?”
“No.” He replied, looking visibly relaxed. “Just you and Chase.”
“Cool. If they give you shit, let me know.” I said.
“Thanks Logan.” He smiled. “So… what are you going to do now?”
“I’m going to drink lots of alcohol.” I said.
I had a new plan, and this time… It wasn’t going to fail.
*****
Chase
A couple of the girls were going to Lex’s party, but I wasn’t going. Neither was Sian. She was out on a date with Kate, not caring that she wasn’t showing up to her ‘boyfriends’ party. Poppy wasn’t going because of Carl.
I didn’t want to be there because of Logan.
I’d seen the look on his face when he’d seen me sitting on the bleachers next to Liam.
He was furious.
After approaching Liam, telling him what I’d seen, I’d convinced him to call Stu.
He did, saying I’d told him to call, and voila… they agreed to go on a date.
I was happy for them.
If only it’d been that simple for me all that time ago.
I had to stop thinking about what could have been and think about how to forget. Of course, it was easier said and done when the constant reminder walked around school. Still looking as gorgeous as ever.
I couldn’t help but still feel drawn to him.
Even when he tried to intimidate me with his closeness and touching.
I never admitted it to the girls, but his touching made me weak in the knees. That’s why I wanted him to stop. I didn’t want to feel those things for him, but every time I felt him, I was right back there with him. Just us.
It was torture.
After spending a couple of hours with Bren, and her trying not to talk about Logan, I’d gone home to watch TV. It was pretty late when my movie ended, so when I got up to turn off my TV, I was surprised when my phone rang.
I didn’t recognize the number, and because it was so late, I wondered who it could be.
I declined the call, but then it rang immediately afterwards.
What if it was Liam? No, I had his number saved.
I declined again, but then it rang straight away.
Whomever it was, really wanted to speak to me.
My curiosity getting the better of me, I answered.
“Chase, don’t hang up.”
“What? Who is this?” I asked, annoyed.
“It’s Carl. Don’t hang up.”
The one number I didn’t have so I could block it.
“What do you want?”
“It’s Logan…” I heard the slight panic in his voice.
“What about him?”
“Chase, he’s completely out of it. He’s drunk and keeps talking about driving over to see you. I managed to get his keys, but the guys had to hold him back so I could take them from him. He’s saying something about boosting a car. Chase, you need to come get him.”
My stomach rolled.
Logan was prepared to drive drunk so he could see me. Just the thought of what could happen if they hadn’t taken his keys gave me chills.
“Can’t any of you take him home?” I asked, not wanting to see him in that state.
“No. We’ve been drinking too. We all got cabs here.”
Fuck!
I didn’t want them to put him in a cab on his own. If he showed up here, in that state, my Dad would go ballistic.
“Fine. I’m on my way.”
I heard Carl blow out a relieved breath.
“Thanks Chase.”
Ending the call, I grabbed my phone, and keys, and headed over to Lex’s house.
Arriving there, I saw that the house was full. Making my way through the bodies, people stopped to greet to me; happy to see me there.
The last time I was at Lex’s nobody paid attention, and the few that did only said hi.
Now, though, they paid me the attention I’d never gotten before.
Offering a quick ‘hi’ in reply, I made my way through the sea of people, stopping for a second when I spotted Carly, Charlotte, and Gretchen talking to a few of the football team.
Before I could speak to them, Carl ran towards me.
“Chase. Thank God you’re here.” He said, like he was out of breath. “He’s out of control. He’ll only speak to you.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, wondering if he were up to something. Something like he was fucking around, and Logan was fine, only for Carl to laugh at me.
“Look.” He continued. “I’m sorry about everything. I was a royal dick, and I took my jealousy out on you.”
“Jealousy?”
“You and Logan were close. I wanted that with… someone… and I had the stupid thought that she was staying away because of you.”
“What? Why?”
“Because you were hanging with us and she’d feel left out or different.”
Now, it made so much sense. It had nothing to do with curbing what they said or did. He was so full of shit.
“That’s why you were nice to Sian.” I said, and Carl looked guilty. “If you were nice to her, then Poppy would want in.”
Carl looked surprised that I knew.
“I’m not blind, Carl. Besides, the reason Poppy never came over was because you were being an ass to me.”
“Huh?” He asked, looking confused.
“Yeah. Ironic, huh?”
I walked past Carl, leaving him with his thoughts, and found my way to the back of the house.
Through the rear doors, I saw Logan sitting down; Lex, Pike Stu, and even Liam, guarding him so he couldn’t go anywhere.
“Logan, you need to calm down.” Lex said. “You’re not helping yourself by getting shit faced.”
“Let me go, Lex!” Logan slurred. “I want to see Chase!”
“Not in that state, dude. You’re not going anywhere.” Said Pike, moving as Logan tried to stand. “You need to lie down.”
“Guys, I’m here.” I said, looking at Logan.
He turned to me, with his glassy eyes, a smile breaking out on his face.
The guys moved so he could stand.
“Chase!” He said, standing and throwing his arms around me, holding me tight. “I miss you so much.” He said, burying his face into my neck and taking a deep breath in as if he were smelling me.
I couldn’t let his hard, warm body affect me, fighting the goosebumps that broke out over my skin as he held me in his arms.
“Keys.” I said. Holding out my hand.
Carl appeared and put Logan’s keys in my hand. I wasn’t going to drive Logans’ car, but I wasn’t going to risk leaving his keys in case they went walkabout.
“Let’s get you home.” I said, gently, pushing him back so the guys could take hold of him.
“No. You’re going to leave me again.” He slurred, upset.
“You need to go home. I’m driving you. Let’s go.”
With one of his arms around my shoulders, Lex held his other side and we guided him through the house, with Pike following.
“Chase! Are you ok? What’s going on?” Charlotte asked when she spotted me.
“It’s ok, Charlie. I got this. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I said as I continued to guide Logan out the door.
Getting Logan to my car, Lex and Pike got him into the passenger seat and I fastened his belt.
“Thanks for coming, Chase.” They said together.
“No worries.” I replied, before pulling away from the curb.
*****
“Why aren’t you my friend, Chase?” Logan asked, his voice tight.
“Logan, now’s not the time.” I replied.
I didn’t want to have that conversation when he wasn’t all there.
“I didn’t mean anything Chase, I swear.” He said, leaning back in his seat. “I never forgot you, not once.” He slurred. “How could I forget my Chase?”
My heart began pounding when he said I was his Chase. I didn’t say anything. Not because I had nothing to say, but because I couldn’t.
“I made it up.” He said, after a moment. “It was an excuse, ya know? If I ‘forgot’ you…” He held his unsteady fingers up for emphasis. “…I would have to make it up to you, and I could touch you without you thinking I was trying something.”
It had taken him a while to get his words out, but I understood what he’d said. He wanted to touch me, but didn’t want me to know.
If it were true, it made sense. The extra closeness and touching after he’d been an ass.
However he’d gone about it, it didn’t excuse what I’d seen.
Pulling up to his house, Matt opened the front door and, surprisingly, came over to help me get Logan out of the car. All without a stupid comment.
“Lex called. Told me you were on your way.” He explained.
When we got Logan to his room, we lay him down on his bed and Logan started chuckling.
“If you wanted to get me in bed, all you had to do was say…” He said, still chuckling.
Like Cassie.
“He wasn’t with Cassie.” Matt whispered, causing me to think I’d said that our loud. “I was.”
“Gross.” Logan slurred. "Chase is my girl. My beautiful girl.”
He hadn’t been with Cassie! She was just leaving from being with Matt.
My mouth dropped open as I stared down at Logan. His eyes closed, but he had a goofy smile on his face.
“I’ll talk to you soon.” Matt said, walking out and closing the door over.
“Chase?” Logan whispered.
“Yeah?”
“You’re still here.” His smile grew bigger.
“I am.”
“Chase?” He whispered again.
“Yeah?”
“I didn’t mean to see you.”
See me? What was he talking about? He wasn’t making any sense.
“What do you mean, see me?”
“In your underwear. I’m sorry, it was an accident.”
“What?” My underwear? How in the hell had
he seen that?
“I sneaked; to scare you. I saw through your door. You were in your underwear. White and lacy.” He smiled. “So hot.”
My stomach flipped. Logan had seen me in my bra and panties and hadn’t said a word.
“You didn’t say anything.”
I shouldn’t have been carrying on the conversation whilst he was out of it, but I was intrigued by his confession.
“You would’ve killed me. I crept back downstairs and shouted you. God, after the race and I saw your legs again… wow.” He blew out a breath and moaned a little.
I felt the heat flowing through my that Logan had been aroused by me. I had no idea. The way he’d blushed in the kitchen suddenly made sense. My Dad’s reaction too… He’d seen Logan checking out my legs!
I smiled.
“After you left me… I wanted to get closer to you. Let you see… I needed…”
Logan’s breath evened out. He’d fallen asleep.
I didn’t want to leave him like that, so I leant over and took off his sneakers. As I moved them to the side of his desk, I noticed a letter pinned to his board.
A signed baseball sat next to his computer, and a team-signed Lions T-shirt was pinned to the wall near his Babe Ruth poster.
I smiled.
Brent had responded and had given him gifts for his birthday.
I felt an ache in my chest. I wasn’t there to see his reaction when he got them.
Moving back to Logan, I slowly lifted his head and pulled his pillow underneath, looking down when something fell to the floor.
I picked it up, and I held my breath when I saw it was a photo.
A photo of me, laughing. It had been under his pillow the whole time.
I felt the shield around my heart melting away as I looked down on the boy I’d fallen in love with. The boy who’d liked me back, but was too scared to tell me.
