by Emerson Rose
“Can we eat cinnamon rolls in our jammies and watch Dallas now?”
Wow, kids don’t forget anything, do they? “Has your daddy gone to work?”
“Uh-huh. He told me not to leave the bed until you wake up unless I have to pee. He said no bed wetting.”
“Then yes, I think sleepover plans shall commence now.” I roll over to the edge of the bed, and she scrambles along with me.
“What’s commence?”
“To start.” I have to remember to speak kid talk, whatever that is.
“What does shall mean?”
“It’s an old-fashioned word for will, do you like it?”
“Uh-huh, it’s fancy.”
“Perfect, then I shall use it more often.”
“You’re silly.”
“I am?” I say pointing my finger at myself. She nods her head.
“Zion’s not silly, she follows rules.”
Hmm, I don’t know how to take that bit of information. Being silly makes her smile, but I know kids need rules, too, and she loves Zion.
“I follow rules, too, just not stupid ones.” Her eyes pop, and her neck jerks back.
“Like getting up in the dark?”
“Yes, exactly. Now come on, let’s go downstairs and make the house smell like cinnamon.”
Since I don’t have my belongings here, I ask Victoria to show me where her daddy’s shorts are, and I put on a pair that are several sizes too big along with my sleep shirt. I can’t get dressed because it’s sleepover day, but I also can’t run around in my panties—it wouldn’t be appropriate.
Downstairs, we make a giant mess baking cinnamon rolls from scratch. It takes forever because I’m unfamiliar with the kitchen. By the time we’re done, I’m acclimated to the Sullivan kitchen.
“Mmm, these are good,” she says with a mouth full of cinnamon goodness.
“I told you, sleepover cinnamon rolls are the best.”
I’m working on cleaning the kitchen while Victoria sits at one of the islands eating her breakfast that technically is now brunch when my phone rings.
It’s Xander, must be checking up on us. “Hello?”
“I’m going to assume since you answered on the second ring and there are no sirens in the background that you haven’t burned my house down yet.”
“Oh no, we’re at the hospital in the ER. It’s quiet here. The house is a pile of ashes, though, sorry. I hope you have good insurance.”
“Nice, no really, what are you two up to?”
“Well, we got up about an hour and a half ago, and we have been baking homemade cinnamon rolls in our pajamas, and now we are about to go lounge around and watch Dallas for a while. Jealous?”
“Indeed,” he says with a deep longing in his voice.
“I was thinking about going to my house and picking up my things later on. Do you have a car I can drive or should I call an Uber?”
“I told you a car was part of the job. Keys are on the counter in the silver bowl, and the car is in the garage next to where I parked mine yesterday.”
“Thanks. What time will you be home tonight?”
“I’m supposed to be off at five, but I’m on call tonight. If something comes up, I’ll let you know.”
“Okay, so dinner? Me? Cooking or what?”
“Can you cook?”
I hold the phone up. “Victoria, can I cook?” I ask wiggling the phone in the air.
“Yes!” she yells still chewing a big bite of roll.
“That answer your question?” I ask putting the phone back to my ear.
“Since she sounds like she’s currently eating something that you’ve cooked for her, and she’s happy, yes, I will take your word for it. I like Mexican, can you make something spicy for me?”
“Spicy chicken tacos sound good?”
“Perfect. I’ll see you both in a few hours. I’m going to make a quick stop at the hospital on the way home and check in on Zion, but don’t say anything to Tori, or she’ll want to come, and I don’t have time today.”
“All right, see you later.”
“Sasha?”
“Hmm?”
“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen when you sleep.”
I wasn’t expecting that. I figured he might be upset that we didn’t get up while he was out running this morning. He comes off as the type of man who likes his schedules and doesn’t appreciate others veering from them.
“Uh, thanks, but we should talk about the kissing and sleeping in the same bed when you get…”
“I have to go… my next appointment just came in. I’ll see you tonight. Tell Tori I love her.” The phone goes dead.
“Hello? Xander?” Shit, he’s never going to listen to a word I have to say about us and the fact that there cannot be an us. I’m just going to have to be strong and keep as far away from him as possible until this job is done, and Zion is home.
“Time for Dallas?” Victoria asks with sticky hands and face.
“As soon as you wash your hands and face.” She hops off the stool and races to the bathroom to wash up while I flop down on the living room couch and grab the remote. Where would one watch a television show that hasn’t been on for twenty-five years? I have no idea, so I text Twyla.
Me: Hey, I got a job babysitting the doctor’s daughter. I’ll be staying here for a couple of weeks. Sorry I didn’t text sooner. Where can I watch that old TV show Dallas?
Twyla: YOU’RE LIVING WITH THE HOT DOCTOR?
Me: Yeah, it’s a job. I got fired at Macy’s, and this came up. Dallas?
Twyla: We are going to talk not text about this, but I’m workin at the flower shop right now, and why are you tryin to watch that old-ass show anyway?
Me: Victoria loves it, and we had a sleepover last night, so today is lounge around and watch TV day.
Twyla: Victoria, his kid?
Me: Yes.
Twyla: Look on Amazon, they got all kinds of old shit there.
Amazon, of course, why didn’t I think of that?
Me: Thanks, I owe you one.
Twyla: You owe me more than one. Text me his address so I can look up his swanky-ass house later.
Me: You’re nuts.
Twyla: Text it.
I roll my eyes and send her his address. Then I get busy figuring out the remote control. When Victoria returns to the room sparkling clean, except for the cinnamon on her nightgown, I’ve found Dallas on Amazon.
“What season are you on?”
“Five,” she says settling in next to me on the couch.
“Wow, five? You’re going to have to help me catch up. It’s been a long time since I’ve watched this show.”
Her look is one of a person about to take on a very serious assignment as she begins to catch me up. As we watch, it all begins coming back to me—J.R. Ewing and his arrogant backstabbing ways, Sue Ellen and her powerful ways of persuasion, and the drama that comes with the entire cast of the show. The more we watch, the more I can’t understand why a five-year-old is so interested in a show like this.
“Victoria, why do you like this show so much?”
She answers without hesitating a beat. “Because they got a big family,” she says with stars in her eyes. Ah, now I get it.
“Do you wish you had a big family?”
“Uh-huh. I got lots of uncles, but we never get to see them. On Dallas, they all live in the same house. It’s so cool.”
“How many uncles do you have?”
“Four.”
“Wow, that is a lot of uncles. Do they live close by?”
“No, far away, like Mommy but not cuz they’re bad.”
“Do you get together on holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving?”
“No.” She snuggles closer, and I take that as a hint she doesn’t want to talk about her absent uncles anymore. “Sasha?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think my uncles will ever move here and live in a big house together with me and my daddy and Zion and you
?”
Now that’s a loaded question. First of all, I can’t imagine why Xander has four brothers that he never sees. Second, I can’t say what’s going to happen with Zion and her health. Third, I’m starting to worry that Victoria thinks I’m staying forever, and I’m not.
“I don’t know, that’s a big dream ya got there.”
“Dream big or go home. That’s what Daddy says.”
“Well, your daddy is a smart man so if that’s your dream, I say you can make it happen.”
“Cool.” She smiles, and I bite the inside of my cheek. I hope encouraging her wasn’t a mistake. I know nothing about their family’s history. Maybe there’s a good reason why they don’t see her uncles. And maybe I just opened a big can of worms.
Sometimes I should just shut my mouth.
14
Xander
Zion is doing much better. I stopped in to see her, and she was out of bed walking in the halls. They’ve moved her out of ICU and are planning on letting her come home by next Friday.
Everything is working out perfectly, so why am I so unhappy?
Sasha, that’s why.
As soon as Zion is back on her feet, Sasha won’t be needed, and she’ll walk out of my life as fast as she walked into it. I don’t want that. I want time to get to know her better under my roof. I want to see her face every day and watch her interact with Tori.
Maybe Zion would take a vacation when she’s released? I love that idea, but I’m sure she would see right through it, and her feelings would be hurt at the idea of me sending her away. But, she might be open to the idea, who knows?
“Hey Z, I want to send you on an all-expenses-paid vacation when you are released next week so you can get some extra rest before you come back to work. Where do you want to go… somewhere tropical, home to Africa, or maybe England? You said you’ve always wanted to see England.”
“You trying to get rid of me?” she says stopping in the hall leaning on the IV pole.
“No, of course not! Why would you even think that?”
“Because you have a new, young, and pretty nanny now.”
“Oh, stop it. No one can compare to you, Zion. You’re the closest thing to a mother Tori’s ever had. She loves you like no one else.”
“Maybe so, but I won’t live forever. I’m old Xander. She needs someone younger.”
“Z… are you trying to tell me something?”
“I will be here for you as long as I can for as long as you want me, but getting sick made me realize I might not be able to work forever as I thought.”
“Nobody wants you to work forever. You deserve to retire like everybody else. Do you feel like it’s time?” She looks away from me down the hall toward our destination—her room.
“I don’t know what to do.” When she looks back at me, her eyes are full of tears. I slide my arm around her waist and give her a gentle side hug. “You do what’s right for Zion. We will be fine no matter what you decide. I want you to know you are always welcome to live with us. You are Tori’s mom as far as she is concerned, and she will need you around forever.”
“Thank you, that means a lot.”
“You’d better get back to bed. I smell the dinner cart coming down the hall.” She makes a twisted up, disgusted face.
“The food here isn’t fit for a dog.”
“That’s because you’re on a strict diabetic diet. You better get used to it. We want you around for a long time.”
Her upper lip curls, and she makes a snarling sound. “I guess.”
We walk into her room and say our goodbyes.
When I pull into the garage, the Range Rover is parked where it was this morning. I wonder if they even went anywhere today. Inside, it’s quiet, but it smells like a gourmet Mexican restaurant, and my mouth starts to water.
I call out for Tori and Sasha but get no answer. On the island, there is a crockpot filled with chicken seasoned and fully cooked and a tortilla container filled with fresh, soft flour tortillas.
I make my way to the glass wall and look down at the beach. Bingo, there they are. Both of them are wearing bikinis sitting on their knees building a sandcastle with buckets and little containers from the kitchen.
Tori’s hair is wild and windblown but tied up in a knot on top of her head. Her cheeks are sun-kissed, and she’s smiling and laughing. Sasha’s hair hangs down her back in long waves, and she, too, has rosy cheeks from the sun.
I hadn’t thought to tell Sasha that Tori has no fear when it comes to the ocean, but they seemed to have done fine today anyway. I watch them for a few minutes until my stomach growls. I walk through the quiet house upstairs to my bedroom to take a quick shower and change into black shorts and a t-shirt.
I hear them coming up the steps to the patio laughing, and I meet them at the door. “Look who the cat drug in. It looks like you two have had a great day.” I lean down and kiss Tori on the cheek and rub Sasha’s upper arm casually as I straighten up. The electricity that passes between us is off the charts so much so that I have to take a step back to keep myself from kissing her in front of Tori.
“We did, Daddy. We had a sleepover!” Tori squeals jumping up and down.
“A sleepover all day?”
“Sleepover’s work in phases,” Sasha says matter of fact.
“Oh? What’s this, the beach phase?”
“No, this is the do-whatever-you-want phase. Phase one is sleeping in, then we made homemade cinnamon rolls, then we chilled in our pajamas on the couch all afternoon watching Dallas, and then we got cleaned up and went to my place for my things. When we got home, we wanted to catch some waves, so we hit the beach.”
“Catch some waves?”
“Sasha taught me how to surf!” Tori says still jumping up and down except now she’s added clapping her hands together.
“You did? How?”
“That Rover thing is huge. I threw a couple of my boards in there and brought them with us. Hope that’s cool.”
“Sure, I uh, I guess.”
“Tacos are ready, are you hungry?” Sasha asks, but my mind is still back to where Sasha had my five-year-old daughter on a surfboard.
“Yeah, starving. Was she wearing a life jacket?” I ask pointing outside at the water.
Sasha scrunches up her face in a duh, do you think I’m an idiot look. “Uh, yeah, I wasn’t gonna let her drown. I’m a great swimmer, but I wouldn’t put her at risk.”
Thank God. I don’t know why I was so worried. Sasha doesn’t seem like the irresponsible type, but I still don’t know her well.
“Come on, let’s eat and then we can show your dad how you can stand up on the board.”
“Yes! Come on, Daddy, hurry, eat!” Tori yells running to the kitchen tracking sand all the way.
“Okay, okay, I’m coming.”
We sit down and eat the best damn chicken tacos I’ve ever tasted and talk about our day. “Oh, that cleaning lady came, by the way, Lilly, isn’t it? I didn’t look to see what all she did since you said she knows what she’s doing.”
“That’s fine, I’m sure everything’s fine. Hey, I talked to Zion’s doctor today, and she’s going to be released on Friday. She’s feeling much better.”
“Yay!” Tori yells. Sasha’s expression doesn’t change, and I wonder if that’s because she’s indifferent about her job ending or if she’s hiding her disappointment in front of Tori.
“She won’t be a hundred percent, though, so I told her she needs to take some time off for a vacation. She hasn’t decided if she wants to go or not, but if she doesn’t, she will need another week or two to rest.”
“We can take care of her, can’t we, Sasha?” she says looking up at Sasha with adoring eyes.
“Sure, of course, we can. She’s your family.” They exchange a knowing look, and I wonder what’s going on with these two.
“See, Daddy, you bring my Zion home, and me and my Sasha will take care of her.”
Her Sasha. Zion is the only other person Tori h
as claimed as her own until now.
“That’s great, I’m sure Zion will appreciate the help.”
In true kid fashion, Tori hops up only moments after eating and yells over her shoulder as she runs to the patio, “Come watch me surf, Daddy!”
“I can hardly move, you up for surfing?” I ask Sasha who is already up and pulling a sheer cover-up over her shoulders.
“I’m always up for surfing. Come on, don’t be a party pooper.” I certainly can’t bow out now. Nobody calls me a party pooper. I get up and follow the energetic duo down to the beach where Tori is wiggling into her life jacket, and Sasha is carrying a longboard to the edge of the water.
I sit in the warm sand and watch Sasha lift Tori onto the board and push her out a short, safe distance. Sasha stands next to Tori holding the board waiting for a wave, and when a small one swells, she pushes her into its line. Tori places her hands flat on the big board and pops up riding it toward the beach. I stand and clap my hands and cheer like she just won the biggest surfing competition in the world.
When she emerges from the water, I can’t remember seeing her happier or more relaxed. She’s oozing confidence, and her smile is brighter than the sun.
“She’s a natural,” Sasha says trudging up the sand to join me.
“How did you do that? And in one day, I can’t believe it.”
“I just told you how, she’s a natural. She doesn’t have a fear of the water, which can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the person. I’m teaching her to respect the ocean. I told her it’s very powerful. I think she gets it.”
“Did you see, Daddy? Did you see me?” Tori says running toward me.
“Yes, princess, you did awesome! I’m so proud.” I grab her waist and swing her wet body in a circle.
“My Sasha’s a good teacher.”
“I’d have to agree with that,” I say and smile at Sasha who is drying off with her towel.
“She needs a boogie board to play around with. I brought that big tub so she could get on her feet, but if she’s going to surf a lot, she’ll need her own board.”
“Anything you want. I have an American Express card for you inside. I forgot to give it to you this morning. Use it for anything you two need… household expenses, food, outings, gas, whatever.”
