by Cal, Sarah
“But what about you?”
“I can handle it,” she said insistently. “If it’s only for a little bit...”
She turned her eyes over to where Karen was seated with her children leaning against her. She wasn’t exactly young, and she had two of them to take care of on her own. Emma didn’t know what happened to their dad, but Karen was the other nurse in the group. While she wasn’t nearly as skilled as Carol, as far as Emma knew, she was devoting her whole life to her kids, much like Emma was to her family and friends, and Emma admired the other woman’s strength.
Besides, Emma had been the one to knock on her door and tell her to go with them, when they were picking up as many people to go with them as possible on their way out of town for the last time, after telling her there was danger. Karen hadn't asked twice, just trusted her and followed. There were those that had opted to stay, and a part of Emma wondered if they were still alive. If Karen and her kids would have had a better chance if they’d stayed at home.
But another part of her rebelled at the idea. If the people back home didn’t all die, then they were living in misery far worse than their own. Just having a nice, comfy place to sleep wasn’t everything.
They just had to find something better, for the rest of them.
When their break ended, Emma approached Karen, who agreed with the plan and was actually a little relieved. Emma took the first turn with the girl first, having the child climb up on her back. It meant she had to shift what she was carrying, but lucky for her, the bag had straps that she pulled over her shoulders and carried the bag on her front.
Chase sent her a disapproving look, but she just pointedly glanced at the heavy back pack he still carried as he helped Merry move along.
She still wasn’t sure it was the best way to go, but having a knife on her throat had reminded her why it really was the safer option. They at least had some weapons on them, they hadn’t lost quite everything, but if they came across other people that were armed and had no qualms with killing, it would be safest to stay out of sight. The chances they would run into anyone in these woods was pretty slim, thankfully, so they just had to worry about what they would find on the other side.
They were lucky, too, that the forest floor wasn’t as bad as she’d feared the further in they went. Of course, when it had just been her and Carol, they had moved much faster and went further in less time, but they didn’t lag behind too much. Besides, those had been forays that didn’t last too long, meaning they didn’t go too far, either. They stopped twice more for a short rest each time and to pass around some more food, Emma sacrificing some of her portion for the children’s sake.
She found that the forest went on for a long way, a lot further than she’d thought. And Chase’s theory had been correct; she could see farmland through a clearing.
The relief that went through her when she first saw it was indescribable. They were all more than just tired, they were growing a little demoralized, and that could be dangerous. Emma didn’t know how to keep them all upbeat, and she was losing hope until she looked up herself and caught something hazy in the distance.
The trees were growing thinner already, so seeing through them was easier.
“Hey, Carol, Chase?” she called.
“What is it?” Carol asked from beside her, as Chase came up on her other side, practically carrying all of Merry’s weight by that point.
“Can you guys look ahead?” she asked, keeping her voice quiet. “I think I see something...”
They were the ones in the lead. Every now and then, Emma would look back to make sure the rest of them were following behind them, no one lagging too far behind, but she spoke quietly so they wouldn’t hear. She didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, only for it to turn out to be her imagination.
Chase made a sound, and at the same time, Carol gasped.
So it wasn’t her imagination.
“Those are houses, Emma!” Chase hissed, part awe, part joy in his voice. “I didn’t think we’d get to see anything for a few days. We must have been moving faster than we thought or these woods weren’t that large...”
“Or we managed to pick the shorted straight distance through,” Carol said gleefully. “Finally, Emma!” but then she dialed back her enthusiasm. “I’ll go back and tell everyone else, but we need to be careful. If this town is anything like the one from before...”
Emma nodded sharply, some of her enthusiasm dying. “We need to stay on the alert. Just let them know there’s some hope ahead.”
Carol nodded and fell back. They moved a little further, and the trees thinned even further. Emma could see clearly now, and she wasn’t the only one.
She could tell the change in the group almost immediately, she could hear them acting more lively than before and she grinned, because she couldn’t hold back her own good mood, either.
Finally, after so much walking, they were getting somewhere! She didn’t know where, but the other problems could come up later. No one had outright complained, but Emma could still tell, but how they all slowly went quiet, their steps closer, and their tight expressions when she happened to look back at them. She didn’t have to look back now to see, because she could tell by the little exclamations they made, and the sound of their walking suddenly moving faster. In a few moments, the people that had lagged behind were close enough they threatened to pass her by, but none of them did. They didn’t need to.
But it was getting late, the sky darkening, and they were in unknown territory, so Emma stopped when she could see the houses clearer in the distance while still keeping them under the cover of trees, and the others stopped with her.
“I think we should stay here for tonight and explore Tomorrow, after setting up camp here,” she suggested. “These fools probably won’t be any more welcoming than the last town we went through, and it would be a lot safer if we went out in the day light.”
The others agreed, and they pitched their tents. Emma just sighed in relief that no one tried to argue the decision. Much as it hadn’t been her intention to be in charge again, there was something to be said about people that listened to you in times like these.
“Hey, Chase,” she called out after he got her sister settled. He came over to her immediately, and she almost smiled. “Would you like to explore the forest with me? I figure we might as well try before its full dark, see if there’s anything we can find.”
He just shrugged and carelessly said, “Sure,” like it was a foregone conclusion that he would have gone with her whether or not she asked, and she did smile then.
They went ahead, searching the woods together after she told Merry their plans. She hoped to hurry before it became too dark to see anything. They had flash lights, but Emma wanted to keep them for when they really needed them. Who knew how long they could be stuck outside, and
“How are you holding up?”
“Hmm?” Emma looked around at Chase.
He sighed. “I mean, there was a vicious attack on you this morning. I should say another, but I really don’t want to remember all the other times you ended up in the line of fire.
Emma shivered. “Honestly speaking, neither do I.” then she sighed. “But I’m okay.”
The silence after her declaration pretty much spoke for itself, and she stopped, facing Chase head on and meeting his frown. He probably didn’t believe her. Part of her didn’t believe her, either.
“Seriously, Chase, I’m fine,” she insisted. “I mean, yeah, it was terrible, but it isn’t the first time something like that has happened, either, and not always with a knife.”
But Chase seemed to pick up on the fact that she was shaken. Emma snapped her mouth closed and swallowed the sudden lump there, thinking maybe she shouldn’t have mentioned the other times out loud. It wasn’t like she could forget, none of them had been all that long ago, but saying it out loud just brought it all back, made it all the more real. And that morning, she’d felt exactly like she had any of those other times, the frus
tration and helplessness that she absolutely hated even more than the fear of her dying.
“Talk to me, Emma,” Chase said quietly as he stepped closer so he was standing right in front of her, though he didn’t reach for her. “You know you can always talk to me. I know everything’s been so crazy recently. You can get it off your chest with me before we head back.
It was a tempting offer, and not one Emma felt she could refuse right then. She took in a deep, shaky breath, and released it on a shudder.
“Okay, so maybe I’m not fine with what happened. Carol did something that both scared and bothered me, but I’m not really sad or anything that the woman is dead. I miss Janice too, and that’s hard to forget.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. Chase sighed again and this time he did reach for her, his hands holding onto her arms as she shifted close enough to rest her forehead on his chest. Almost immediately, there was a hand on her nape, fingers rubbing in a circular rhythm that had her sighing and relaxing instantly, a large palm rubbing soothing circles on her back.
“I know how you feel,” he said after a short silence. “I’ve been with you in some of those situations remember? And even when it’s not aimed right at me, my heart practically stops every time I see you in that position. And about Janice... I lost my own grandmother to cancer when I was around sixteen.”
Emma gasped and pulled back to look up at him with widened eyes. He smiled down at her, though it looked slightly pained.
“We used to do a lot of stuff together. Believe it or not, she was the outdoors type in the family, even more than my dad. We’d go camping, and when my grandfather joined us we’d go fishing. She always caught more than me, but I never found out her secret. My parents... didn’t let me be there to watch her wither away, and for a while I kind of hated them for taking the decision away from me. But I was there, in the hospital, on the day she passed away.”
Emma could feel tears gathering in her eyes, realizing he understood her pain. She didn’t know much about his family save for a few things he’d told her about his parents. Blinking the tears out of her eyes, she reached up her hands to cup his face between them.
“I’m glad you shared your experience with me.” She knee he trusted her already, but this just showed it to her more. Her eyes roamed over his face, then she gave him a shaky smile. “To be honest, I’m desperate to forget everything that’s going on around us and relax.”
She didn’t see any objections in his eyes. She kissed Chase and pulled him close, backing him against a tree. He went with it, but then Chase gently pushed her away, and she met his eyes again, confused.
“I don’t want to,” he said.
Emma’s breathe hitched, panic overwhelming her for a second. Why was Chase rejecting her? But though he’d stopped the kiss, he still had an arm around her, the other holding her back by the shoulder.
“Why?” she asked, her voice breaking on the single word. Why would he back away from her when she needed him? He’d never done that before, besides the time she hurt him without knowing. When Emma still didn’t know that Chase loved her, and he walked in on her, naked and in bed with Brian.
He sighed and rested his forehead against hers. “I can’t make love to you when I know you’re broken hearted, Emma.”
“But I just want to forget,” Emma insisted. “Please, Chase?”
He groaned, like it was physically difficult for him to respond to her plea, his hand on her shoulder tightening a moment, but he didn’t move to bring her closer.
“You shouldn’t forget, or you’ll never heal. Any other time, Emma, I swear I won’t refuse you. It’s taking everything I have not to cave in, but trust me when I say you do need this. You can’t escape for forever.”
Emma pursed her lips. She was fairly sure that, despite his resolve, she could get him to drop his defenses if she tried hard enough. But he was right. She ran away from her problems all too often. It was what led to her having an affair with Brian, her neighbor’s husband. It hadn’t ended well, and the last thing she wanted to do was turn Chase into an escape from her problems.
She sighed, disappointed, and stepped away from him. He took her hand as he walked her back to the camp, but Emma wouldn’t speak to him. She understood, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t hurt, even though she knew that hadn’t been his intention.
As they went to sleep, he wrapped his arms around her, and she reminded herself that Chase was a blessing – she knew he did the right thing. Snuggling into him, she managed to sleep.
Chapter Eight:
Emma woke up hungry yet again, and made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t stop until they’d found somewhere hospitable and a good meal.
Easier said than done, but they needed it. If she was this hungry, so did everybody else. Emma didn’t know how long she could go on for, which meant some of the others were probably on the verge of giving up.
But we can't, not just yet.
Not when they were so close. She still remembered seeing the break through the trees and the houses on the other side, and the feeling that came with it. It was all a lot farther than it looked, she knew, and but she didn’t mind. Buildings meant people, and while ‘people’ would mean possible danger, it would also mean food.
With how low their stocks were, Emma was going to have to pass on breakfast, or take a only a few nibbles, enough to keep her going, and hope that they could find something to eat when they got out of the trees.
The children had looked more or less okay when they went to sleep last night, and Emma hoped they could hold out just a little longer. She couldn’t promise anything, but even if it meant putting her life on the line, she was going to think up a way to get them something to eat. Knocking on doors might be the only option left to them, and if it came to that, Emma would do it personally. They all needed to get fed, but the kids..., they probably needed it more than some of the adults because their growing bodies burned food away faster, and they needed more energy.
She remembered carrying the girl on her back, and how she’d just slumped onto Emma like she had no energy left. Emma didn’t know much about growing children, but she did know it was a bad sign that they were so lifeless. They didn’t need the children getting sick because there wasn’t enough food. Emma was pretty sure it could prove fatal, especially for the youngest, Kellen and Brian’s little girls.
We have to get a move on, she told herself. The faster we get somewhere, the better.
“Emma?”
Chase’s voice brought her out of her musings. And only then did she feel the heavy weight around her and realize Chase still had his arms around her. No wonder she was having so much trouble moving; the extra weight wasn’t exactly helping, and she must have woken him up.
She turned around and came face to face with Chase’s chest, then looked up at him. The events of last night were still fresh on her mind, but now she was picking on something bigger to worry about. Remembering him pushing her away still hurt... but she decided to put it aside for the time being. They could have a real talk when they got the time.
“What are you doing up?” he muttered. “It’s still early.”
“But it isn’t dark anymore,” Emma pointed out.
Not too dark, anyway, even though the light coming through their tents was a little dull. It just meant the sun didn’t touch the spot where they sat, but it was early morning and that was good enough for Emma.
“Come on, Chase,” she whispered. “Let go. We need to start moving soon.”
He sighed, his arm only tightening around her waist. “Those houses aren’t going anywhere, though. And... we probably need to come up with a plan...”
His voice got lower as he spoke, and finally trailed off. Emma sighed and pushed against his chest. He frowned, his arm tightening a little around her, before letting her go. She got away from him quickly, her face feeling a little warm. She moved to quickly, because when she rose up, she was instantly dizzy, and nearly toppled back. She closed h
er eyes, brought her hands to her head and pulled her knees up, resting her head between her knees.
She spent a few moments breathing, holding back the sick feeling in her stomach. When the urge to vomit went away, she slowly opened her eyes and raised her head. Chase was awake, sitting up and watching her silently with a frown.
“Emma,” he said her name again.
Only, this time was different. She could tell he was fully awake now, and the disapproval in his voice was prominent. Emma just rolled her eyes.
“Can I count on you again to take care of my sister?” she asked bluntly.
He almost looked offended. “Emma, of course I’m still taking care of Merry. Why would you even ask that?”
She just shrugged. “Good, then,” she said simply, and went to leave the tent.
“Emma,” he called her, his voice growing darker.
“Please don’t argue with me, Chase.” He wanted her to be strong, to not escape—she was going to do exactly that. Even though a part of her felt a vindictive satisfaction at the annoyed look on his face when she refused to listen to him. “Take care of Merry, and everything will be fine. I don’t know how far away we are, but I do know we’re close to human settlement.”
“Do we have a plan?” he asked, sounding resigned.
Emma sent a dark smirk at him. “Nope,” she said cheekily, and left quickly before her could ask more.
There was a muffled sound from behind her, but he didn’t approach her, and Emma let the smile fall off her face.
She did have something resembling a plan, but she knew it wasn’t one he would be okay with. Emma planned to head the excursion, like the last time. It anything came at them, she would be at the front. She would hold back the enemy while the others got away.
Maybe we won’t get to that, she thought hopefully.
Emma kind of missed when people would talk things through, in a sane fashion, instead of resorting to guns. But she wouldn’t be able to carry one of the kids this time, because along with her pack, she was going to wear her gun slung over her shoulder. They had distributed the guns between those of them that could use them, which was most of the adults. Emma had left Chase to carry hers, because he’d offered, and she didn’t mind not having it on hadn’t if he was the one it was going to.
