“No, Bay, not now,” he said. “We’re okay. Everyone is okay. Let’s finish this. I want to go home.”
“All right,” I said. “Let’s do it.”
“We’ll be right behind you,” Marcus said.
Landon ignored the proffered promise.
“WHAT happened to the talking candlestick?”
I shrugged, unsure. The busy room from before was different now. The candlestick was gone. The broomstick, devoid of life, leaned against the wall. The cobwebs and decay had been replaced with a bright and shiny cleaning. It was the same castle, yet everything was different.
“What do you think?” Landon asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “We still have a few stories to go through. This doesn’t jump out as anything I recognize.”
“Maybe we’re done,” Clove suggested. “Maybe we only have to find a way out.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “There’s no way we’re getting out of here without a nod to Wonderland and Oz,” I said. “Those were Aunt Tillie’s favorites. There’s a reason we haven’t hit them yet. They’re going to be the big finale.”
“How do you know that?” Thistle asked.
“It’s Aunt Tillie. She’s not going to let us out of here without forcing us to go through those stories.”
“Is that how you knew how to beat the giant?” Clove asked. “I couldn’t believe you did that, and yet as you were saying the words I realized I remembered them.”
“I’m not sure how I remembered to beat the giant,” I said. “I only know that I realized the beast was Landon before I decided to fight the giant. Once I realized it was him, I didn’t have a choice.”
“You had another choice,” Landon said.
“No, I didn’t.”
Landon’s face softened. “You’re my brave girl.” He pulled me in for a brief hug. “If this was the real world, though, I’d be yelling at you for risking yourself.”
“I know.”
“Since this is a fairy tale world, I’m going to give you a pass.”
“Thanks.”
“Are you saying what you think I want to hear because you don’t want to argue?” Landon asked.
I smiled. “You’re very handsome.”
Landon grinned. “That’s what I thought.” He leaned over and gave me a soft kiss. “I desperately need to get out of this place. Not only do I need breakfast, I need to make sure we have a day in bed to recuperate.”
“What about punishing Aunt Tillie?”
“We’ll do that first,” Landon said, winking.
“Good to know.”
The room lapsed into silence, everyone searching for clues to our next destination. When a hint of movement caught my attention on the far wall I shifted my head and focused on the shadow. It looked like the plant in front of the window and yet … there was more to it.
I narrowed my eyes and focused, sucking in a breath when the shadow moved on its own accord. I tilted my head to the side, studying the shadow. I risked a glance over my shoulder, but nothing moved behind me. When I glanced back at the wall, the shadow had moved away from the plant and now stood alone. It was also in the shape of a person.
“Uh, guys … .”
“What’s up, sweetie?” Landon asked, moving to my side.
I pointed at the shadow, which refused to move.
“What am I looking at?” Landon asked, confused.
“The shadow is moving.”
Landon focused on it. “No, it’s not.”
“It was.”
Landon shifted so he could look over his shoulder, and the second he did the shadow waved at me. It froze again when Landon turned back. “There’s nothing back there moving.”
“No,” I agreed. “The second you turned your head, though, it waved at me.”
“It did?”
“Yup.”
“Is Bay seeing things now?” Thistle asked, smirking.
“No one is talking to you,” Landon snapped.
He was angry. It practically rolled off of him. He was trying to control himself, at least delay an argument, but I was the only one he wasn’t angry with right now. That was a nice change of pace.
The shadow moved again. “There!”
“I saw it,” Thistle said, giving Landon a wide berth as she moved around him and settled on my other side. We exchanged an eyebrow lift and then focused back on the shadow. It was playing a game, jumping from one shadow to the next and then poking its head out to wave at us.
“What do we think this means?” Sam asked.
“It’s Peter Pan,” I said.
“Does that mean we’re going to Neverland?” Sam looked excited at the prospect. “Sorry, I just loved that story when I was a kid.”
“It always reminded me of Lord of the Flies,” Thistle replied drily.
“What?” Sam was incensed. “How can you say that?”
“A bunch of boys on an island with nothing to do but cause trouble? It’s total anarchy.”
“You obviously didn’t get the point of the story,” Sam said.
“She has a point,” I said. “I think Peter Pan, just like Lord of the Flies, is a cautionary tale of what happens to men if they don’t have women in their lives to temper the crazy.”
Landon barked out a hoarse laugh. “That’s kind of funny.”
“It’s not true, though,” Sam protested. “Peter Pan is a great role model!”
“He wears tights and tempts kids out of their bedrooms at night so they can terrify their parents into thinking someone kidnapped them,” Thistle countered. “Then they fly to a land where no one wants to grow up and you’re either a pirate who doesn’t care about killing kids or a kid who has nothing better to do than terrorize adults. That doesn’t sound healthy to me.”
I could tell Landon was fighting the urge to smile, his anger with Thistle and especially Marcus still at the forefront of his mind, but he was having a good time watching Thistle crush Sam’s childhood dreams.
The shadow dove to the dark spot on the far wall, and this time when it poked out it beckoned to us.
“I think it wants us to follow it,” Clove said. “Do you think we should?”
“I think we’re going to set these last stories up and knock them down,” I said, resolved. “This is the next one. Let’s get to it.”
Landon grabbed my hand as I started to move. “Don’t you even think about stepping away from me,” he said. “We’re doing this together.”
“Of course we are,” I said. “I couldn’t do it without you.”
“I feel like puking,” Thistle said.
“Don’t push me, Thistle,” Landon warned.
“No one push anyone,” I said. “We’re close here, people. We only have to stick together for a little bit longer. Let’s not fall apart now.”
“Fine,” Landon said through his clenched jaw. “When this is over with, though, I want a whole day of just you and me. I don’t want to see a single member of your family. I’m talking a full twenty-four hours.”
“We’ll go to a hotel,” I promised.
“You bet we’re going to a hotel,” Landon said. “You’re going to pay, too.”
“Okay.”
“We’re getting nothing but room service,” Landon said, pulling me as he started to follow the shadow. “We’re getting breakfast in bed, lunch in bed and dinner in bed.”
“That sounds fun,” Clove said. “Maybe we’ll go with you.”
Sam shot her a quelling look.
“Maybe not,” Clove said quickly. “Sorry.”
“I’m not joking, Bay,” Landon said. “We need a break from all this … togetherness.”
“Maybe you should go to the hotel alone,” I suggested. “You don’t look too happy with me right now.”
“You’re the only thing making me happy right now. Never doubt that.”
“OKAY, does anyone think this is the weirdest setting yet?” Thistle leaned over and rested her hand against the giant toadsto
ol, snatching it away after a few seconds of contact. “That feels funny.”
“It’s a giant mushroom,” Landon said. “What did you expect it to feel like?”
“I don’t know,” Thistle said, ignoring his sarcasm. “It looks like it’s made out of plastic. I thought it would feel smooth.”
“It smells,” Clove said.
“It’s a mushroom,” Landon said.
“I wish we had our phones,” Thistle said. “I would love a cool photo on top of the toadstool.”
“It’s a giant mushroom!” Landon was beside himself.
After following the shadow through the labyrinth of hallways and out a side door of the castle, we’d spent the last ten minutes studying the peculiar setting. The shadow disappeared, which meant whatever was supposed to happen would occur in this area. I was almost sure of it.
“Which story is this?” Landon asked.
“I’m not sure yet.”
“Why is nothing happening?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you know?”
“I know you’re upset,” I said, setting my hand on his forearm. “I’m sorry. I … .”
“No, I’m sorry,” Landon said, shaking his head. “This isn’t your fault. I did this.”
“How do you figure that?”
“I’m the one who threatened her,” Landon said, rubbing his forehead. “I’m the one who promised to confiscate her wine. She probably would have ignored us if I hadn’t been so … harsh.”
“You shouldn’t blame yourself for doing your job,” I said. “Aunt Tillie is the one at fault here, not you.”
“She’s right,” Thistle said. “Aunt Tillie knew what she was doing was wrong. That’s why she tried to hide it. If she thought she was in the right she would have told everyone what she was doing. She likes to brag.”
“I’m sorry I’m being so cranky,” Landon said. “This situation is … out of our control. I don’t like Bay being in danger. I don’t like any of us being in danger. It feels as though this thing is never going to end.”
“It’s going to end,” I said. “I think we have only two left.”
“Which two?”
“Wonderland and Oz.”
“Which one is this?” Landon asked.
“I … .” I jumped back when a huge rabbit barreled between us, the furry beast tripping over the toadstool and hitting the ground hard on the other side.
“Who put that there?” the rabbit asked, flummoxed. “Has someone been rearranging furniture?”
Thistle’s face split with a wide grin. “This is the best one!”
Landon scowled. “Wonderland?”
I nodded. “This was always Thistle’s favorite story.”
“I have to get moving,” the rabbit said. “I’m running behind. This is not good. This is so not good.” The rabbit glanced at us, irritated. “Put that toadstool back where you found it. It doesn’t belong there.”
We all watched, slack jawed, as the rabbit got back to its feet and hurried around the corner of the house.
“Follow that rabbit,” Thistle instructed, breaking into a run. “Hurry! I don’t want to miss this one!”
“Well, at least someone is excited,” Landon said, grabbing my hand. “If you’re right, once we get through this one there’s only one left.”
“I think I’m right.”
“I have faith in you,” Landon said. “Let’s go. If we don’t keep an eye on Thistle she’s going to molest that rabbit. Did you see the look on her face when she saw it?”
“It is kind of cool,” I said, following Landon. “Don’t tell me you don’t think it’s cool.”
“I’m beyond anything being cool in this world,” he said. “The only thing I’m going to find cool in the foreseeable future is a bath, a bed and a plateful of bacon.”
“I’ll make sure you get all three of them,” I said.
“We’re going to get all three of them together,” Landon said. “No one is in this alone, especially you and me.”
Tea doesn’t constitute a party – unless there’s bourbon in the cup, too. Now, that’s a party. You can’t go to those types of parties yet. Forget I told you that.
– Aunt Tillie’s Wonderful World of Stories to Make Little Girls Shut Up
Seventeen
By the time we rounded the corner of the castle, Thistle had a significant lead on us. Marcus broke into a run to catch up with her, while Landon and I slowed our approach to give ourselves time to study the outrageous tableau.
“What is that?” Sam asked, confused.
I smiled. “It’s a tea party.”
“There are a lot of animals standing on two feet and kind of … hanging out,” Sam said.
“It’s Wonderland,” I said. “Nothing is normal.”
“What’s the lesson in this one?” Landon asked.
I racked my brain, trying to prod a memory forward. “All I remember about this one is that Aunt Tillie doesn’t believe that a tea party is a real party unless people are slipping bourbon into the tea cups.”
Landon snorted. “That sounds about right. She’s got her fingerprints all over this world.”
“What should we do?” Clove asked, worried. “We’re never going to be able to tear Thistle away from this one.”
“It’s Aunt Tillie’s world,” I reminded her. “Nothing is as it seems, and nothing is safe. This might look like a tea party, but there’s a lot more going on in Wonderland besides tea.”
“That’s true,” Clove said. “What do you want to do?”
“We have to join the party,” I said. “That’s where this is all going to begin.”
“I’m worried about where it’s going to end,” Clove said.
She wasn’t the only one.
I led Landon to one of the tables, pulling out a chair and directing him to sit while I kept an eye on Thistle. She was having a great time chatting up a turtle. Marcus was beside her, but his eyes were busy scanning for hidden threats.
After a few seconds I realized Landon wasn’t sitting. Instead he stood next to me, an unreadable expression on his face.
“What?” I asked.
“You just pulled my chair out,” Landon said.
“So?”
“I’m still the prince,” he said, pushing my hand away. “I pull your chair out.”
“Oh, you’re so macho,” I grumbled.
“If that’s how you want to think about me, that’s fine.” Landon pulled my chair out and gestured to it. “Milady.”
I rolled my eyes but took the seat. This wasn’t worth arguing about. Landon settled next to me, unfolding the cloth napkin and looking around. “What do you think we’re waiting for?”
“I’m not sure yet,” I said. “There are a lot of different parts in that book, and there are technically two books. Aunt Tillie could have picked any part of them to incorporate into her book.
“I remember Thistle was always correcting Aunt Tillie when she told us Wonderland stories,” I continued. “Thistle was like a film critic who couldn’t stand when the director broke from the source material. It totally ticked her off.”
“Thistle doesn’t strike me as a fairy tale kid,” Landon said, reaching for the pot of tea. “Do you think it’s safe to drink this?”
I nodded, watching as he poured my cup and then his own. “What do you mean?”
“I always associate fairy tales with girly girls,” he said.
“Do you associate fairy tales with me?”
“Are you asking whether I think of you as a girly girl?”
“I … don’t know,” I said. “I don’t know what answer would freak me out more.”
“Sometimes I try to picture you as a kid,” Landon said. “All I see is long, blonde hair and pigtails. I see you running in the woods, and I see you wrestling around with Thistle. I don’t see dresses … or dolls … or tiaras.”
“That’s probably good,” I said. “I never liked any of those things.”
“That’s what I figured,” Landon said, sipping his tea. “Thistle wasn’t like that either, was she?”
“No.”
“What about Clove?”
I looked to the next table, smiling when I saw Clove and Sam talking with a giant squirrel. “Clove liked dolls and dresses,” I said. “At a certain point she tried to pretend she didn’t, because she wanted to be like Thistle and me.”
“That sounds like her.”
“I don’t think it was fair to her, though,” I said. “I often wonder whether Clove would have been better off with two cousins who weren’t so … overbearing.”
“I don’t think of you as overbearing,” Landon said. “Don’t get me wrong, you have your moments. Given how overbearing some of the other women in your life are – and yes I’m referring to Thistle and Aunt Tillie – you’re much mellower than you have any business being.”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “It’s hard to look back at your childhood without regret.”
“I don’t think you should regret anything,” Landon said. “I think you turned out pretty terrific.”
“You do?”
“I don’t know any other woman who would take on a giant and kiss a hairy monster on faith alone.”
“You’re right,” I said. “I am pretty great!”
Landon’s grin was adorable. “You are.” He leaned forward and rubbed his nose against mine briefly. “I’m so ready to get us out of here.”
“You and me both.”
“Oh, Craig, look who it is.”
I froze when I heard the voice, turning my head from Landon and focusing on the three bears standing at the other side of the table. “Oh … hey.”
“I see you found a friend,” Sheila said, hoisting her impressive girth onto one of the metal bistro chairs. “We were worried about you after you left.”
“I wasn’t worried,” Sebastian said. “I was hoping something ate you.”
Landon made a face. “Do you want to introduce me to your friends?”
“Sure,” I said. “This is Craig, Sheila and Sebastian. They’re the bears I was telling you about. This is Landon. He’s my boyfriend.”
“Oh, that’s nice,” Craig said, sitting next to his wife. “Did you know that your girlfriend climbed into our beds last night?”
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