Social roles, obligations, and expectations
In Javanese society, the individual serves as a harmonious part of the family or group. The essence of being Javanese is to be civilised, to know one’s manners and place in the world.33 Social interactions should be characterised by rukun (harmonious unity) –that is, “smoothing over of differences, cooperation, mutual acceptance, quietness of heart and harmonious existence”.34 Conflict should be avoided. Mutual assistance and sharing of burdens (gotong royong), within the family and community, should reflect the concept of rukun.35 Amongst Javanese, harmony and unity are complemented by social hierarchy. While less hierarchical, Sundanese culture also privileges social harmony. Social behaviour is based on the philosophy of “silih asih, silih asah, silih asuh”, which means “love, teach and care for each other”. Preference for a harmonious life is expressed in the phrase “herang caina beunang laukna”, meaning “solving a problem without creating a new problem”. Mutual cooperation is a prominent characteristic in Sundanese community life.36
Coming home: different family settings and situations
Amongst the 39 domestic workers interviewed, there were many different family and household configurations. Some women returned to a nuclear family (a spouse and children). Others who were unmarried or divorced returned to live with their parents. Some lived in more extended family settings –e.g., with parents or parents-in-law in the same household, or with siblings, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Some were divorced or widowed and lived with their children or extended family.
Table 22.1 summarises the residence patterns of women after trafficking. However, marital status, family composition, and residential patterns changed over the course of the research. One woman who was widowed while trafficked returned to live with her children and mother-in-law, but later remarried and now lives with her new husband. Another woman who lived with her husband and in-laws has since divorced and is living independently with her children and nephew. Another woman remarried and moved to her second husband’s home to live. In total, six of the 31 women who were re-interviewed changed their living situation over the course of the project.
As such, a wide range of family members may be involved in the reintegration process, to varying degrees and at different stages. Moreover, the family environment is often a complex terrain, and family members had different reactions and behaviours during reintegration – some were supportive and helpful; others were critical and unsupportive.
An additional layer of complexity is that women had experienced different family relations prior to trafficking, which also informed their subsequent reintegration. Many women came from happy and healthy families, and coming home was an emotional but happy time. Both domestic workers and their families felt relief, joy, and gratitude, as one trafficked woman explained: “[My daughter] said she was so grateful when she saw me arrive home. [She cried] a lot”. Nonetheless, these trafficked women and their families also often experienced strain and tension over time, on different levels and in relation to various factors, as will be explored in more detail below.
Table 22.1 Residence patterns of domestic workers after trafficking
Family residence pattern Number of interviewees
* * *
Nuclear family (with spouse and children) 15
Unmarried, lived with parents after return 1
Married, lived in extended family setting with parents or parents-in-law 10
Married, lived in extended family setting with siblings, aunts, uncles, or grandparents 2
Single parents (divorced/widowed), lived alone with or without children 3
Divorced/widowed, lived with parents, extended family, or in-laws 8
Total 39
In some families, tensions and problems preceded trafficking and may also have contributed to the decision to migrate. Trafficking introduced an additional layer of pressure and tension to be managed and navigated by the victim and her family. For instance, one young woman had serious problems with her stepmother growing up and against whom she rebelled as a teenager. Her return after trafficking was fraught. She found living at home stressful, and she was in constant conflict with her stepmother: “[My stepmother] told me I was not a good child. I couldn’t do anything right. And I became like this because I was sick and my father preferred [her]”. Similarly, one woman had divorced her husband because he did not support their family: “My husband was irresponsible, he did not want to work. I dared to end it”. She explained that her husband was angry about the divorce and took revenge by taking the oldest child to live with him and not supporting the younger child:
He said that I cannot see my boy. Maybe he is afraid that my boy would go with me and he cannot do anything … It seems like [my daughter] is not his child. He never touched or kissed her, never gave even 5,000IDR [0.45USD].37
Nonetheless, the women faced some common issues and tensions in the family setting after trafficking. These tensions – often multi-layered and coterminous – include financial problems resulting from or exacerbated by trafficking; tensions and conflict due to stress or distress following trafficking; feelings of shame or being blamed; and relationships that had been damaged or destroyed.
Financial problems – no remittances and the burden of debt
The most outwardly visible source of tension within families was related to financial problems – not having sent money home and the need to repay debt. Both men and women in Indonesia contribute to the household economy, and women, as much as men, feel the importance of earning money and supporting their families. All Indonesian domestic workers interviewed migrated to earn money to support their families –e.g., to build a house or buy land, put children through school, start a small business, support elderly parents, or care for a sick family member.38 Some also migrated to have more control over their lives –e.g., to live independent of their parents or in-laws, as one woman explained:
I saw my friends around there were successful. They could build their own house and buy a farm. I wanted to try. Maybe I would be like them. I really wanted to have my own house and be separated from my father-in-law so that I could be free.
Debt was a considerable source of stress for most domestic workers. Some women (or their families) were in debt prior to migration and they migrated to repay this debt. Further, most women incurred debt to migrate – to a moneylender, an agent, the recruitment agency, family, or a neighbour.39 In some cases, women, who generally went unidentified as trafficking victims in the destination country, went into (further) debt to fund their travel costs home to Indonesia.
Some ‘debt’ was because of money spent by those caring for women’s children at home in their absence. One divorced mother of two described how her elderly mother struggled to support her small children while she was working abroad, as her ex-husband provided no help. This meant going into debt to her ex-husband’s sister to cover the children’s basic needs:
[My sister-in-law] said, “You have a debt of 3,000,000 Rupiah [273USD]. It was for your children when they went to see the doctor and to buy some milk” … Three million Rupiah, it is impossible … [I thought] “Really? Is it 3,000,000 Rupiah?” But I realised that my ex-husband never gave anything so it is three million [Rupiah]. She gave it because my mother said the milk was running out.
Some women also borrowed money when they returned home and were unable to work, due to injuries or illness induced by trafficking, or because of lack of work. Of the 39 women in this study, 17 were working since their return, but often doing odd jobs, with unpredictable days and salary. The remaining 22 were not working – unable to work due to illness or injury (six), or unable to find work (16). This further strained family finances and, by extension, family relationships.
Women’s role as mothers/caregivers is central in Indonesian (as well as Sundanese and Javanese) society. Being able to remit money may go some way towards realising this maternal expectation and obligation, to care for and support her children, even when worki
ng abroad and away from one’s children. When migration is successful, the resulting improved living standards may mitigate the mother’s absence from their family’s daily life.40 And yet, the nature of trafficking was such that trafficked domestic workers were generally unable to remit money.
Some trafficked women (21) were able to remit or return home with some money, which eased, in a few cases, the immediacy of financial issues. But amounts were often far less than was promised and expected by the trafficked woman and her family: either having been paid a different salary than agreed in the contract, or having had their salary partially withheld. In some cases, payment was not a salary as much as a small sum to cover transportation costs home, as explained by one woman: “I was given [only] three months’ payment which I used for purchasing [my] ticket back home”.
Trafficked persons described high levels of stress and disappointment at returning home without money, often having worsened their family’s financial situation. Many described their arrival home as bittersweet; their joy at being home after being entrapped in domestic servitude was diluted by their inability to meet the expectations of their family members. One woman described her return home: “It was difficult. The family was here and my child was still small. They asked, ‘What do you bring home? I want this and that. I want a bicycle’. I just cried because I did not bring anything”.
Failure to remit or return with money was a source of considerable stress for family members left behind. Although family members were grateful and happy about the woman’s return, there was often an overlay of concern and tension related to economic issues resulting from having come home with no money. One woman described such a scenario at her return:
After arriving home, I was well received by my family. My mother was so happy to see me. My son was happy. I was also happy to see him. He is a good son. My husband was grateful to see me at first. He was also crying at that time. He was worried for my safety…. However, after some days, my husband was sometimes angry with me. He said, “You did not bring any money, after a long time [abroad]”. He said that continuously especially when we needed money and fought with each other. There was a kind of fear and shame in me when my husband said that.
Tension from returning home without money is consistent with research amongst family members of migrants, which has found that the predictability and regularity of remittances influences stress levels and mental well-being. In one study in Asia, including Indonesia, common mental disorders (CMD)41 for family members left behind who received remittances within the last six months were 30% lower than for those who had not.42
For some family members, it was their own inability to help their trafficked loved one that was a source of tension and stress. One woman’s brother expressed deep sadness about his sister’s situation – being a divorced mother of two with no job and serious health problems: “I am very sad seeing her life. She was married but her husband left her without reason and without financial support for her kids”. He regretted that he could not help her as he himself was struggling just to make ends meet:
I am very sad to see her kids’ life but I can’t do anything because I don’t [have] a job now. She is also jobless, she doesn’t have any income. She is sick after her return from [abroad]. She went abroad for work two times but she was unsuccessful again. She is now sick.
That being said, financial concerns were not always a primary source of tension for all family members, even in dire economic situations. Some trafficked women found some level of support and encouragement, from parents, siblings, spouses, children, or aunts and uncles. One divorced mother of two went abroad, leaving her children with her parents while she was away. The grandparents struggled to support the children as the grandfather had just had a stroke and the grandmother did not work. Nonetheless, she faced no recriminations from her parents when she returned home: “I was ashamed because I did not bring back any money. They said, ‘Let it go. Alhamdulillah43 [Thank God], you are back safely’”.
Tensions and conflict; stressed and distressed
Two of the most common problems faced by women returning home were being mentally and physically unwell. Trafficked domestic workers typically worked between 18 and 20 hours per day and had no days off for weekends or holidays. Living conditions were cramped and substandard. Food was commonly of poor quality and in very limited supply, with some women permitted to eat only once or twice a day.44 One woman described her life while trafficked as such:
I slept at dawn and woke up at 7:30am. Quickly, I had to make the kitchen neat and if I was late and it was not neat when my boss woke up, I would get hit. If the bathroom was not finished, I would get hit again. The house was so big and they had five children so there were seven people. I was exhausted. Moreover, they did not give me food. So, I was weak. I ate less and slept less so I got sick all the time. When I said I was sick, they did not believe me and I got beaten all the time.
Violence and abuse were commonplace. Twenty-three of 39 women were physically assaulted, and an additional seven women suffered violent behaviour like being locked in a closet or yelled at and insulted. (Nine women did not disclose experiences of physical abuse).45 Violence and abuse often resulted in injuries or illness, as evidenced by one woman’s experience:
[My employer] often tortured me. Beat my head with the beer bottle, until the bottle was broken. My blood was flowing everywhere. She often beat me while her husband was not home. I wanted to report to her husband however she threatened me and made me scared. She said, ‘If you report to my husband, then I will kill you!’ She often beat me while asking me to work. One time, I made a mistake because I was so tired and fell asleep at 8pm on the stairs with a broom in my hand. She was so angry and tortured me, undressed me and beat me with the white cable. They told me to crawl on the floor and my back was beaten so hard with the big white cable … It’s not really painful anymore, however there are so many scars around my body. On my neck, my back, my ears, my lips. I was bitten, ironed, beaten. My tooth [was] also broken after [being] beaten with a big glass.
Rape and sexual harassment were not uncommon. Four of the 39 domestic workers interviewed were raped while trafficked; nine others suffered attempted rapes and harassment.46 Rape and harassment were often endured over the course of trafficking, inflicted by different people –e.g., the employer, family or friends of the employer, agency staff, police officers, ‘friends’, or strangers that women sought help from during escape. One woman described how she suffered multiple rapes while working abroad as a domestic worker:
I was raped by the male boss and [by] the agent too … I was alone with the security staff in the agency and it happened again … I did not know where to ask for help. I was tired … Alhamdulillah [Thank God], I was not pregnant […] If I got pregnant, I would be ashamed in my village.
Many women were psychologically impacted, becoming depressed, stressed, anxious, and even traumatised. Some women still suffered from trauma many years after returning home, as one woman explained:
Until now, I don’t want to go [migrate for work]. I am afraid it will happen again. When I sleep, I wake up, remembering what happened [when I was abroad]. Until now, maybe it was five or six years ago … but it’s still happening, not removed from my life. I am traumatised.
One woman described how she considered suicide after her return; two women attempted suicide.
Being mentally and physically unwell informed victims’ behaviours and reactions, which, in turn, impacted relations within the family. A number of women reported feeling anxious and irritable after return. Others described being stressed or depressed. One woman, who managed a dramatic and traumatic escape, was still in shock when she arrived home and displayed erratic and socially unacceptable behaviour:
When I had just arrived in the village, I was shocked. People in my village thought I was a crazy person. They heard the news that I was stressed, escaped and hid in the jungle. Maybe because they saw me smoking after I came back from [abroad]. A
ctually, I was not crazy. I just felt depressed and wanted to go home because I did not receive my salary.
Such behaviours were often difficult for family members to understand and tolerate, particularly in the longer-term. A complicating feature was that family members generally did not know the full story of what had happened to the woman while abroad. Often trafficked women only said that they had not been paid or “had some problems”. They often kept secret some (or even most) aspects of their exploitation, especially the more brutal and humiliating abuses. In many ways, this increased their shame and embarrassment about what had happened to them. It was also a means of protecting their loved ones from knowing what they had really suffered and, in turn, suffering themselves by knowing this. One woman explained that she had told her father and husband about her experience but not in full:
Yes, I told him. But not all…. I told him also that I did not get paid and about my employer, like this and that. But I did not tell him [some parts], even to my father and husband. I did not want anybody to feel sad.
However, not knowing about the true nature of exploitation made it difficult for family members to understand or appreciate the reason for victims’ difficult or erratic behaviours and actions. Some family members expressed irritation and frustration with victims’ behaviours even when they knew what had happened. One woman described literally being starved by her employer, reduced to eating garbage, and being completely isolated while abroad. When she came home, her behaviour was manic and erratic and she spoke constantly about what had happened to her. She described how this was a source of tension between herself and her husband:
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