by Jasper Bark
Palmer turned bright red. "I, err... don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh come now Palmer," said Doc Papa. "Do you seriously think I don't know all about your little harem? Nothing that goes on here escapes my attention. Now kindly escort the shareholders to your underground lair so they can save their souls."
"But there's only five Zombies down there," said Palmer. "What about my soul?"
"That's hardly one of my more pressing problems. I'll attend to that in time."
"But..."
"I said go!"
Palmer left with his tail between his legs, closely followed by the shareholders.
Doc Papa stood and walked to the window. Vincenzo remained standing quietly by the desk.
"You know what I learned from my days as a trader?" Doc Papa said. Vincenzo knew better than to answer. "That every catastrophe is an opportunity for great profit. Those men haven't the vision to see this, that's why I've got them just where I want them. Like all small minded fools they see only a crisis, where I see greater forces at work - forces of opportunity. When these forces strike, it doesn't matter if they're a market correcting itself, an ecological disaster or the Loa exerting their will, there is always a great profit to be made. When people are panicked and uncertain of what's happening they're vulnerable. And when they're vulnerable you can profit from them."
"You were toying with them, weren't you?" said Vincenzo.
"I see you've been paying attention for once. They're not aware of it of course, but whoever sabotaged the soul bank did us a favour. With the souls released from their Pot-tets they're that much easier to reap and to dominate."
"Do you know who sabotaged the soul bank yet?"
"I have my suspicions, now I just have to go and confirm them. If I'm right then Erzulie Zandor has made good on her word."
Chapter Thirty-Two
Sam McKane was fighting mad. He was ready to hog-tie that Doc Papa son-of-a-bitch and put one right between his eyes. As soon as he got off this God-forsaken island he was going to put together an army of lawyers so big these motherfuckers would be shitting writs for the rest of their lives.
Goddamn it, there was blood on his alligator boots. The cut on his hand was dripping again. Problem was he couldn't hardly feel a thing in either of his hands anymore. He cut the hand this morning on a cologne bottle. Dropped it on the bathroom floor trying to get rid of the smell.
He was starting to stink like one of them damned walking corpses. Every one of the guests was. He didn't know what they'd done to him but, by God, they were going to pay.
He wrapped his kerchief round his hand. He really should go to the infirmary and get it seen to but he couldn't afford to leave the mansion. They were about to make some sort of announcement and he needed to know what was going on.
All the guests were packed in there, as well as those cocksuckers they'd flown in who'd already done the course. No-one knew what was going on. Everyone was nervous and confused, milling around and waiting for something to happen. All of 'em looking like spare pricks at a party for unemployed whores. Finally Palmer appeared. He looked in poor shape and he was obviously as pissed as the rest of them. He was flanked by a squadron of guards who set up a podium for him. He was mobbed before he even opened his mouth.
Everyone charged him, shouting questions, waving fists, making demands. The guards shielded Palmer as he raised his hands to quiet the clamour of raised voices.
"Alright, alright that's enough," Palmer said. "Let's have a bit of order. I'm not going to take individual questions at this juncture. To begin with the management on St Ignatius would like to apologise for the disruption in our services and any inconvenience this has caused you." There was a chorus of jeers and catcalls. Palmer shook his head. "Okay, if you want to find out what's going on, you're going to have to let me get through this. Now some of you might have noticed some changes in the way you feel. This is a perfectly natural part of the process you're going through. It'll all become clear in a little while.
"We're always striving to increase the parameters of the course here on St Ignatius and to improve the scope of your learning. That's why I'm excited to announce the next stage in your journey along the Way of the Barefoot Zombie. This part of the course will be new to all of you. Due to the nature of what we had planned and the timing in unveiling it we couldn't make any pre-announcements. But we can now promise you an even greater degree of intimacy with your Inner Zombie and an increased level of power and understanding."
There were disgruntled murmurings among the guests. Sam knew bullshit when he smelt it, and he could smell it now. Palmer held up an ivory disk with some Voodoo markings on it.
"Now you should all remember this from the soul transference ceremony. It's a Baka. It's a Voodoo talisman that keeps your soul safe. You should think of it as a credit card for the soul bank. It allows you to deposit your soul and withdraw it. Now we've added a new facility which allows you to transfer your soul between vessels.
"Up until now we've only offered you the opportunity to store your soul in a Pot-tet. But now you can upgrade to one of the Living Dead. Once you've been issued with your personal Baka we'll find a time in the next few days when you can choose a Zombie from our colony to house your soul.
"Now some of you might have noticed they've left the compound at present. I also understand that our newest graduates encountered them at the Ounfó last night. This is all part of the process of readying them for your souls. To get the Zombies properly receptive we had to allow them to roam free for a while. But let me assure you they have been under supervision at all times and will be returned to the compound shortly."
There was a huge uproar at this. Whatever it was Palmer was selling, no-one was buying it.
"I've already said I won't take individual questions. Now the guards are going to pass among you with your personalised Bakas. I suggest you try and receive them in as orderly a fashion as possible. Once you've been issued with your Baka you merely have to place it on the forehead of a Zombie, right between the eyes where the third eye is, to transfer your soul into it."
Two guards stepped around the front of the podium as Palmer beat a hasty retreat. They opened two security cases. Inside were the Bakas. Everyone rushed them.
"What do you think of what Palmer just said?" George Griffin asked Sam.
"I think it's horse shit is what it is."
"I hear that terrorists have kidnapped the Zombies," said Arthur Sonnenfeldt. "And they blew up the soul bank, used some kind of gas to knock us all out. That's why they're giving us these Bakas, because the soul bank doesn't work anymore."
"But why would terrorists want to kidnap the Zombies?" said Bessie. "What are they going to do with them?"
"Let 'em loose in some public place, use 'em to torture prisoners," said Sam. "Who knows what these whack-jobs will get up to? They're motivated by envy and dogma. They hate us cos of the things we have and they don't."
"More importantly," said George, "what does this mean to us? What's going to happen to us if our souls aren't safe?"
"I think it's obvious isn't it?" said Sam. "We're turning into one of them. We're becoming walking corpses."
"Oh my," said Bessie.
"How could we be this stupid?" said Arthur. "I mean to just hand over our souls to them. What were we thinking?"
"We weren't thinking," said George. "We were so caught up in what we could gain we didn't assess the risks properly. Why does anyone make a stupid investment? Because they don't want to lose out when it looks as though everyone else is profiting. If an investment keeps paying off we all want to jump on. We don't want to think about what might happen if the bubble bursts, because no-one else is. We're a herd animal. We run with the pack, even when it's charging off a steep cliff. You've only got to look at the current financial crisis to see that."
"Yeah, well the current financial crisis is the least of my worries," said Sam. "How're we going to get our hands on a Zombie to keep our souls safe?"
"Don't you trust the centre to round them up for us?" said Bessie.
"Not one bit. We're going to have to take matters into our own hands, before time runs out."
Without any warning everyone started to pile out of the lobby, pushing past Sam and the others. Sam grabbed the arm of the young guy he'd seen taking a swing at a Zombie back in the Ounfó. "Hey buddy. Where's everyone going?"
"Into the jungle. Someone's found out where all the Zombies are."
"Oh yeah, and where's that?"
"There's an abandoned copper mine about twenty minutes down the track from the temple."
"Much obliged," said Sam and let the young guy go.
"Listen," said Arthur, getting antsy. "I don't mean to be rude or nothing, but I don't want to miss out on this."
"Me neither," said Bessie and followed Arthur.
"Just like I told you," said George. "We're a herd animal. Always will be. Be seeing you Sam."
"Bye George. You take care going over them cliffs now."
Sam sauntered over to the guards posted by the entrance to the office suite.
"Sir," said one of the youngest to his superior. "Shouldn't we be doing something?"
"My orders are to guard the mansion," said his superior. "And that's what I'm doing. I wasn't told nothing 'bout keeping no guests in the building."
"Morning boys." Sam said.
"Sir," said the guard. "We're not permitted to fraternise with guests of the establishment."
"Well now son, I appreciate that, but fraternising wasn't quite what I had in mind. I'll come straight to the point. I've got a business proposition for y'all."
Chapter Thirty-Three
"This nail isn't long enough," Benjamin said. "See, it only just goes though the plank? You need to get me some longer ones."
"There aren't any longer ones," Tatyana said. "We've got to make do with what we can find."
Benjamin punched the wall in frustration. He always got bullish and overbearing when he tried to do any kind of DIY. Maybe he thought it made him look more manly. Tatyana didn't care. He was pissing her off, acting like a brute.
"I still don't see why Miria ... I mean Brigitte couldn't get a bunch of the Zombies to help out," he said.
"Because they wouldn't be any use to us. Can you image one of them trying to use a hammer?"
"Ow," he said, accidentally hitting his thumb. "Well they couldn't do a much worse job than me."
Tatyana smiled, she liked him better when he kept his sense of humour.
They were both tense and exhausted. They hadn't slept since the night before. Their muscles ached from barricading the doors and windows of the old copper mine's offices. The smelled of damp and decay. Bits of machinery and office supplies from the sixties lay in dusty corners.
"Does that look as though it'll hold?" said Benjamin looking at the last of the planks he'd nailed to the main window.
"I guess."
"Y'know. I can't work out whether this is more like the beginning of Night of the Living Dead, where Duane Jones and Judith O'Dea are boarding up the windows of the house they're trapped in. Or Day of the Dead, where everyone's holed up in that military bunker next to the abandoned mine."
"Oh for God's sake Benjamin, will you give it a rest with the Zombie movies What is up with you? This isn't some dumb movie, this is really happening to us."
"I know it's not a movie okay? I am painfully aware there are men out there with guns that are coming to kill us and we're barricaded in here with a bunch of walking corpses that could tear us to pieces at any moment. And that is scaring me shitless right now. The only way I have of dealing with that is by viewing the whole thing as a movie. So that way I can kid myself that if anything goes wrong I can just hit pause and rewind. Is that okay with you?"
Now it was Tatyana's turn to feel like a brute. "Yeah, that's just fine with me. We've all got our ways of coping. Sorry for busting your balls."
"That's okay, we're both on edge."
"I guess it's your way of sticking to the Third Rule of Interaction: 'It doesn't matter and you don't care'."
"Or Rule Number Five."
'Master yourself and nothing can threaten you.'
"Yeah, I wish that was the case. Right now everything seems threatening. No matter what side of the barricades we're on. Speaking of which, all we've got to do is block up that last door. We're out of planks. Do you think a couple of filing cabinets and a desk will hold it?"
"It's worth a try."
They'd just shoved the desk up against the two filing cabinets when they heard it.
"Does that sound like someone running to you?" said Benjamin.
It did. Tatyana could hear several sets of footsteps in the undergrowth outside the office. Then she heard someone shout, though they were too far away for her to make out what they said.
"Is that the guards again?" Tatyana said. She walked round to one of the windows they'd just boarded up and peered through a gap in the planks.
Benjamin joined her. "Can't see anything. How 'bout you?"
A sudden sharp tap on the window pane made them both jump.
"Hey Benjamin, is that you? It is. It is you. Hey let me in kid."
Tatyana looked at Benjamin, who just shrugged. It was Arthur Sonnenfeldt. He was red faced from running and he was motioning to them to let him in.
"Err, Arthur I think you ought to get out of here," Benjamin called out to him. "This place is full of Zombies and the guards are on their way."
"I know, I know that's why you've got to let me in quick. Hey how'd you get in there with them anyway? You've got to tell me the way in."
Benjamin looked at Tatyana. "Do you think we should let him in?"
"I don't know. What if he's a spy or something? Maybe they've sent him to try and get in so he can let the guards in."
Benjamin called out to Arthur again. "I don't think that's a good idea. We're going to go now Arthur. You really ought to get out of here."
"Hey, hey! Don't you walk away from me." Arthur shouted. "Don't you walk away from me you little pissant! Come back here, you've got to let me in, you've got to. I don't have much longer, I can feel it. It's alright for you, you're young. Don't go, I said don't..."
"What the hell is he talking about?" said Benjamin.
"I have no idea," said Tatyana.
She heard more commotion in the jungle outside and Arthur called out: "Hey, hey, over here, they're in here, quick!"
Tatyana heard what sounded like a stampede charging towards them. Then the sound of thirty or forty pairs of hands began banging on the windows, the doors and the walls. The two filing cabinets it had taken them ages to move began to shake as someone battered on the door.
People were shouting "open up," and "let us in" and "you get those boards down right now, you hear, right now!"
The panes in the windows shattered and the planks over them started to shake. Someone found the board Benjamin hadn't entirely nailed in place and pushed it off. It crashed to the floor. Five or six arms reached through the gap, grasping at the air and tearing at the other boards.
It was the other guests, they were trying to get in, but why? Tatyana could see the expressions on their faces, desperate, angry full of fear and need. These weren't marauding creatures, they were human beings, panicked and nearly hysterical. Even with everything she'd been through it was one of the most frightening things she'd ever seen.
Brigitte came through from the next room where she'd been looking after the Zombies. Tatyana could hear they were getting agitated.
"What's going on?" Brigitte said.
"I have no idea," Benjamin said. "They all turned up and demanded we let them in."
"Are they crazy?" Tatyana said. "Why would they want to get in here with all these Zombies?"
"I think I know," said Brigitte.
They all looked up as they heard footsteps on the roof.
"Can they get in that way?" said Benjamin.
The noise of breaking glass reac
hed them as the skylight in the other room broke.
"I think they just have," Tatyana said.
Tatyana followed the others in time to see three guests she didn't recognise jump down among the Zombies. One of them had cut her hand on the skylight. She landed badly and yowled in pain.
Four Zombies closed in. The woman got to her feet and held out her hands to ward them off. The smell of the blood drove them wild.
She tried backing, stumbled and fell. The Zombies fell on her. The woman screamed in agony as their dead, decaying teeth tore into her.
Tatyana looked to Brigitte, who shook her head. "It's too late to intervene," she said. "It would just get more of them riled up."
The other two intruders fared better. They got to their feet and dropped straight into Zombie mode, obeying the first two Rules of Interaction.
More and more of the Zombies crowded round the body of the dead guest, trying to tear a scrap of flesh or bone loose. Brigitte couldn't push through throng to get to the intruders.
Through the bustle of the Zombies Tatyana saw one of the intruders pull out an ivory disk. He held it at arms length and moved in a slow, predatory manner towards one of the Zombies scrabbling for the woman's flesh.
When he got close enough the man placed the ivory talisman on the Zombie's forehead. Both of them shook as though several thousand volts went through them the minute the talisman touched the Zombie.
This caused the man to stumble and fall over two Zombies who were feeding. They dropped the bones they were gnawing and grabbed him. The man tried to wrestle them off but his sudden movements jostled other Zombies who moved in on him.
The man managed to sit upright before a young female Zombie with beads in its hair sunk its teeth into his neck. The man roared as the Zombie came away with a huge chunk of his flesh in its mouth. Blood pumped in great gouts from the ragged hole. It spilled down his chest and soaked into his shirt as he started to hyperventilate. Excited by the freshly spilled blood the other Zombies sunk their teeth into him.
As this was happening the Zombie he had touched with the talisman began to shout and scream in distress. It was the first time Tatyana had heard one of them try to speak. It was hard to understand at first. Its vocal chords had not been used in a while and there wasn't much air coming from its lungs.
