by Honor James
“She never mentioned meeting you,” Andries said, stilling completely as he stared at the man he didn’t know and fully acknowledged he didn’t understand. “I’ve never wanted the title and you damn well know that,” he added, his tone taking on a distinct bite. “It’s not who I am, who I will ever be, and I still don’t want it. If you want the title to go to someone, leave it for your grandson.”
“It’s your title, Andries, and always has been. You can give it to your son when he reaches his majority.” Ebbert nodded. “I won’t be around when that time comes, so it falls to you to ensure that he will have what he deserves.”
“What do you mean?” Andries asked softly, his father’s words sending a chill through his body, what he heard as the meaning not sitting well with him at all. “What are you intending to do, Father?” His voice was even softer on the second question.
“There is nothing I’m planning on doing. I wish I wasn’t ill and most probably dying, son, I really do, because I want to see those two as they grow up, but…” He shrugged. “Nothing for you to worry about. It’s nothing genetic that you can pass to your children. The Council is talking about forcing Xandra and the twins into their tender protective care. Don’t leave them, son. Never leave them unguarded because the Council will do everything they can to take her and we both know what would happen.”
Andries couldn’t form words let alone a coherent thought. His mind had stuck on the fact his father was sick. He felt as though he’d been stabbed through his gut. Each breath of air was harder to pull in than the last. Pressing a hand to his chest, he stared at the older man. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” he whispered. “You can’t have just found out.” He was trying for some balance and failing harshly.
“I’ve tried to tell you for fifteen years, Andries. Each letter or communiqué I have sent you was returned unread,” he reminded. “I asked the chancellor to tell you as well. After you were wed he was to give you a recording from me. Did he not?”
“I’ve never had a letter from you or any recording,” Andries told him in a stunned voice. “I’ve never had any communications from you. I’ve been off world more than on because I thought you’d rather be as far from me as possible. This is the first time in forty years I’ve been on world for more than a week.”
Frowning, Ebbert shook his head. “I have them all, Andries. I’ve tried to talk to you for nearly seventy-five years and you have refused me. The last fifteen have been the hardest.” Rubbing at his forehead, he frowned. “I’ve been trying to make amends for too long. I’m tired. I wanted to try once more because of Xandra and the twins.” He sighed and looked even older in that moment if it was possible. “If you want, I will send you all of the letters and messages that have been returned to me unopened or untapped for the last three quarters of a century.”
Nodding slowly, Andries moved to sit on the edge of a retaining wall and raked a hand through his hair. “If you would,” he said, quietly staring down at the lawn under the soles of his boots. Looking up, Andries watched his father for a moment and then looked to the house. He sighed softly when he saw Xandra standing in the window of their room. “If you are still of a mind to meet your grandchildren, you may, my lord,” he said, looking to the older man with a shuttered expression.
Ebbert rubbed at the center of his chest. “Do you mean it?” he asked hopefully. “I would really like to meet them and see Lady Xandra again. It would be nice to see how she is handling all the changes in her life, especially now that she’s no longer under her father’s…” He sighed. “I sent an assassin to take care of him. However, the sneaky son of a bitch eluded him.” He wanted Xandra’s father dead with a passion, one that he hadn’t felt in far too long, and he knew it was because Xandra was his only child’s soul tie.
“Yes, I mean it,” he told him quietly. “Go and visit, Father.” Andries indicated the house. “I need to take care of something but let my lady wife know I will be up as soon as I can, if you would,” he requested, standing.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Once his father was headed inside with guards, Andries waved another over and in a low, biting voice gave very detail-specific instructions about what he wanted. When the man nodded and took off on his mission, Andries pushed a hand through his hair in frustration and took a few more minutes to center himself before heading back inside his home.
Xandra saw Ebbert coming and settled into the bed with the twins. She looked up when he entered and smiled. “I know you.” She didn’t mince words. “You came to visit my father and tried to buy me. He refused and then before I knew it I was being married off to Andries.”
“Yes.” He bowed his head but kept a respectful distance. “They are perfect.” He said with a smile, “The lad looks just like Andries when he was born.”
Xandra smiled and stroked Dalek’s cheek. “His name is Dalek.”
Ebbert grabbed the pole of the bed and breathed. “Really?” Tears tried to spring into his eyes but he refused them. “They are beyond compare. May I hold them?”
“Of course. You are their grandfather. Which would you like to hold first?”
“Dalek, please, my lady.”
Xandra pressed a kiss to Dalek’s head and went quiet before smiling. “He says that you can hold him, my lord, but he would rather you not hold his sister until his father is back.” Her smile grew. “He’s rather protective of his baby sister.”
“As well he should be.” He moved to Dalek’s side. “Good lad. Always protect the women you love, son, even when they seem as if they don’t need you. They always will.” He picked Dalek up and moved from the bed and to the chair by the window. “Hello, lad.”
Pausing in the shadows of the doorway, Andries was hit with a memory of his father doing the same with his brother when he’d been born. Swallowing hard, he pushed the memories that followed aside. It was neither the time nor place to have them coming back to life. Walking quietly into the room, he looked to Xandra with a hint of a sad smile as he paused at the end of the bed.
Xandra reached out and waited. When Andries came to her and took her hand in his, she smiled. “We are family. We will all watch over and protect each other.” She paused. “And the three adults will watch over and protect these children fervently, promise me?”
Ebbert didn’t pause or falter. “Always, Xandra. They will always be protected no matter what I have to do. They will remain safe.”
Looking to his wife, Andries nodded. “You know my heart, wife. You need not ever ask,” he murmured softly, squeezing her fingers lightly. Lifting her hand, he kissed her fingers gently before letting her hand go to pick up his daughter. Sitting down at Xandra’s side, he cradled Andria close to his heart and kept an eye on his father and his son.
Andria snuggled in close to her father as if seeking his affection, his love. She sighed as he snuggled her closer and allowed her to feel his thumb stroking her cheek. Ebbert looked up and smiled, the watery smile of a proud man. “That’s a perfect sight. This is the perfect day. Thank you for letting me in, if only this once, thank you.”
Andries shrugged slightly, not really looking to the man. He was just too uncomfortable with his father there especially after all he’d learned. Standing, he moved toward his father with Andria. “Would you care to hold your granddaughter?” he asked quietly.
“I would.” He looked down at Dalek again and let his large finger caress over his cheek. “Be good, little warrior. Take care of your mother and sister.” He leaned close and whispered, “And your father, too. He sometimes needs it, too.” With effort he gave up Dalek and took Andria and smiled down at her. “What’s her name?” The little girl just curled into him, a smile on her face, blue eyes shining bright with trust and affection even as she made a soft cooing sound.
“Andria,” Andries said quietly as he put his son to his shoulder and stepped back. Walking to the window, he stood looking out, his back to the room. He didn’t like the position, but he knew Dalek was keeping watch from where
he lay against his shoulder, so he was trying to be accommodating to his son. Rubbing the little back, he let out a slow and tired breath, his mind churning relentlessly.
“A good and fitting name for the little beauty,” Ebbert said with a smile, his heart lost to the too-small female in his arms. “She’s too small. Are you sure that she is healthy? That she’s all right?” His concern was there and clear.
“She’s healthy,” Andries said without turning. “She’s small because she’s small. There is nothing wrong with her.” He nearly growled, just barely managing to keep his voice normal.
Xandra couldn’t stop the laugh. “Funny, I seem to recall someone else asking about her and how small she was. How hard it was to put her nappy on and grumbling all the while about her being too small.”
“That’s because the nappies are obviously not designed for such a petite frame,” Andries said, shooting her a look. He wasn’t sure if she could see his confusion or not, or the growing headache, but he begged her with his eyes to just drop it for now. He didn’t want to have her teasing him before his father. Especially not then, not with so many questions in the air. All Andries wanted was to lie down in a dark room and sleep.
Xandra nodded and yawned. “I’m sorry, gentlemen, but I think that myself and my little ones are ready for a nap. My lord, you and my husband can discuss when you can come back, but for now I think that, if you don’t mind please, it’s time for you to leave.”
Closing his eyes in a silent thanks to her, Andries rested his cheek to Dalek’s head as he turned. “Take your son, love,” he said to Xandra and handed his boy off. Moving to his father, he took Andria and held her close so her little head was against his heart. “If you’d like to return tomorrow, we’d be pleased to have you for lunch and the afternoon if that would work for you,” Andries offered cautiously, his nature telling him to take care, that he was missing something and not to trust his father.
Ebbert bowed his head. “I would appreciate and like that very much.” He reached out and stroked the little head of Andria and smiled. “Thank you for allowing me this moment.” He nodded and pulled back. “My thanks to you both. Lady Xandra”—he turned from his son and faced Xandra—“my thanks to you, my lady, for giving my son these beautiful treasures, and for giving an old man a reason to smile.” He walked to the door and looked at Andries. “The missives that we spoke of earlier will be sent back by courier as soon as I return home.”
Bowing his head slightly, Andries watched him. “Thank you, my lord,” he said softly and then watched his father leave, a guard escorting him out. Walking back to the window, he stared out and watched him cross the lawns to the flyer. When the flyer lifted off, he closed his eyes with a tired sigh.
Xandra moved up behind Andries and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Are you all right, Andries? What happened down there, love? And what missives was your dad talking about?”
“He supposedly has been sending me letters and messages over the last seventy-five years that I’ve never seen,” he murmured. “He’s sending them to me so I can see for myself that he was not lying.” The fact that Andries had sent a man to question the Alliance about why his mail had not been getting through was a sure sign that he actually did believe his father, to a degree.
“Oh honey.” She looked up. “He’s been trying to make amends for that long, or has it been for other reasons that he’s been trying to reach you?” She liked his father, but she loved her husband and she couldn’t allow anyone to harm him in any way at all.
“I don’t know,” he admitted even though it rubbed him wrong to do so. Turning, he looked to her. “I need to lay down for a while, love. I have a headache right now and this has just made it all the more painful.” Leaning down, he kissed her gently. “I love you, Xandra,” he said quietly against her lips.
“And I love you, too, Andries. Go ahead and lie down. I will take the twins downstairs and see if they are as much a hit as I know they will be.” Xandra shifted one child to take the second and adjusted herself. “They are a lot heavier out of the womb than they were in it.”
“Because they are no longer all compacted into one giant ball,” he pointed out. Pressing a kiss to Dalek’s head, he passed his son to her before leaning in to kiss Andria’s. “If they are too much, have a guard help, love. I don’t want you taking a stumble down the stairs.”
“I will have one help me anyway, because we both know that I’m not exactly the most graceful of people.” Well, at least while pregnant she hadn’t been the most graceful of people. “Have a nap, darling. Rest well, my love. We will be in your den when you wake up, all right?”
Nodding he touched her cheek. “Come and get me in two hours if I haven’t woken, will you please?” he requested softly. Kissing her again, he watched her leave the room with several men close to her. Moving the bed, he pulled off his jacket and boots before lying down on his back, placing his arm over his eyes. Letting out a few slow breaths, he relaxed and was asleep within moments.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Xandra was sitting on the floor with both children on the blanket she had spread before the fire when the runner came. She looked up when the guard asked entrance and accepted the package. “Thank you. Will you please go up and knock on our door so that Andries can come down? It’s been almost three hours.” She lost track of time while playing with the twins, watching them and talking to them.
“As you wish, my lady,” the guard said quietly before handing her the package and leaving the room.
“Enter,” Andries called out as he slowly sat up and rolled his head around to loosen his neck.
“My lord, the Lady Xandra requests you join her. The missives from your father have arrived,” the guard told him before leaving at his lord’s nod.
Dressing slowly, Andries made his way down the stairs, the nap partially having helped with his headache, but it wasn’t completely gone. Entering the study, he smiled at the sight there, Xandra on the floor with the twins on a fluffy blanket. Moving to them, he touched her hair. “Hello, my love,” he murmured down to her as she glanced up.
“Hello, husband. Did you rest well?” He still looked as if he hurt more than he should, and that worried her. “Do you need me to call the doctor, Andries? I don’t like to think that you are hurting or getting ill, sweetheart.” Her hand moved from their son’s belly and rose to touch his as he pet her hair.
Shifting, he crouched down at her side before he sat. “No, love, I’m okay,” he said softly. Pressing a kiss to her cheek, he rested his chin on her shoulder and wrapped an arm around her. “It’s been a long week, and after today I’m just a little stressed out. It will pass with a good night’s sleep, I am sure,” he told her honestly.
“The missives from your father are on your desk. There are a lot of them, Andries. I don’t think he would have had time to go home and fabricate them or get some of them to look as old as they look.” She nodded and stroked his arm around her middle. “I love you, Andries. Go ahead and do what you need. Our children and I will be just here.”
Looking over his shoulder to his desk, he stared at the pile on it. “I don’t know if I can, love,” he said softly. “What if he was telling the truth and I’ve been as big a bastard as he thinks I’ve been?” he murmured, his gut tight.
“Did you return them unopened or unread?” she asked simply, and when he shook his head and answered in the negative, she smiled. “Then you haven’t been in the wrong, Andries. Someone for some reason has been trying to keep you and your father apart. The question is what is the next step? If he had came to you seventy-five years ago trying to make amends, would you have accepted?”
“I don’t know,” he murmured honestly to her, turning to face her once more. Easing into her slightly, he held her closer. “I just don’t know, Xandra,” he whispered against her cheek. “I feel like I don’t know anything anymore. I’m so off balance and out of sorts I just don’t know what to do.”
“Read the letters, And
ries. Find out and learn from it. When you need a break, your children and I will be here. They were just fed and clean nappies put on, so we are comfortable down here. Do what you know you need to do, Andries. Make peace with your past so that our future can be all it’s meant to be.”
Groaning softly, he kissed her gently. “Have I mentioned I hate when you are right?” he asked softly. Holding her a moment more, he got to his feet and moved to the desk with obvious reluctance. Swallowing hard, he sat down and picked up the oldest-looking pile. None of the missives had been opened. They’d just been returned, no markings, which meant they’d been sent by courier. Untying the first bundle, he picked up the bottom letter, figuring it was the first, and started to read.
Xandra watched him and then lay down on the floor to curl into her daughter and pulled her son close. The heat of the fire, the hours up and playing with them had their effect on her, and as she positioned the pillow under her head, she began to drift off, all right in her world as their son curled into his sister and sandwiched her protectively between them.
Rubbing at his eyes, Andries laid down yet another letter and stretched, his back cracking at the motion. Looking to the floor, he smiled at the scene and got up to walk to them. Crouching down, he touched Xandra’s hair lightly and smiled even more when Dalek opened his eyes to peer up at him. “Xandra, love, wake up, my love. You shouldn’t be sleeping on the floor. You’ll get cricks in your body and neck.”
Cracking her eye open to look at him, she frowned. “I’ll be all right, Andries. I’m not leaving you. I want to be close in case you need me.” She raised her hand from their son’s belly and reached out to touch Andries’s cheek. “Do you need me now?”
“I’m going cross-eyed, love. I was thinking we should get something to eat and then I’ll read a few more,” he told her softly. “Come on, my lady. Let’s go and eat and just relax with our family for a little while.” He needed time away from the letters. They were pulling him in all directions and he needed some space for a bit of perspective.
