by Casey Lane
“Lex, I know I’m usually the first one shouting kick him to the curb, but I really think you should give him a chance. The guy is crazy in love with you,” Makayla advised.
“I wish I could be as positive about that as you are.”
Chapter Twenty-One
It has been twelve days since I left the hospital. The first two I spent at Casa Stewart at Madelyn’s insistence. She clucked over me like a mother hen, driving me nuts and expediting my decision to recoup in my own apartment. There were a few terrifying hours where Mama Stewart was determined that she was coming with me. Thank God, Mac was able to talk her out of it. That must be whom Makayla gets her bullshitting aptitude.
The first few nights at home weren’t bad. The gang took turns spending the night and helping me out. By the fourth day, I sent everyone away. I needed some time on my own to process everything. It is taking a lot longer than I had anticipated. Apparently, traumatic events and I are not compatible. Joel told me that it was perfectly natural with everything I had been through, and that maybe I should talk to a professional about the nightmares. I have my first appointment next week.
Physically, I am feeling better. Most of the cuts are healing quickly, and any bruising left is a sickly shade of yellow. I am off the crutches and using a walking cast. Each day I am able to stand on it a little longer than the day before. By the time I go back to work, in another two weeks, I should be walking on my own.
I haven’t spoken to Ethan since that day in the hospital. He hasn’t made any attempt to contact me, but I haven’t made the effort either. Makayla took it upon herself to play secret agent and discovered that Sebastian is under strict orders to provide regular updates. Much to my chagrin, those two have not been exactly shy about their feelings concerning the communication ban either. Subtle hints about Ethan and I would be a welcomed change.
I may not have seen Ethan, but he is around, always in my space. Sometimes I think that was his plan all along. He had to have figured out that every time I picked something up, I would think of him, knowing he was thoughtful enough to purchase it for me. Sure enough, just as he intended, I catch myself thinking of him a lot. Sneaky bastard.
I haven’t decided whether we can salvage the relationship, or if I even want to, but I do know that I need closure either way. I cannot leave a ‘what if’ hanging over my head forever.
***hi***
***hello gorgeous***
***meet me 4 a drink?***
***time? place?***
***rascals, 5pm?***
***c u then***
I don’t think I’ve ever been this anxious before. You may wonder why I picked Rascal’s instead of Inferno. That’s actually pretty simple. Inferno is his territory, and Rascal’s is mine. I wanted the upper hand for the chat that was about to transpire. That is also why I got here thirty minutes early. I want him walking in to face me, not the other way around. I’m not sure that it makes much of a difference, but I saw it in a movie once. Although, I’ve also seen where people gain the upper hand by making the other party wait. Damn Hollywood, sending mixed messages, now I don’t know which one is true. Hell, who am I kidding, this is Ethan we’re talking about. I’ll be lucky if I can keep my head above water.
The clock is creeping towards five. I’m peeling the label from my beer bottle, just for something to do with my nervous energy. Butterflies fill my stomach. Not the kind that gently floats around, tickling your insides. These are more like gigantic ones with barbed wings. My belly is the jar they were shoved into against their will, and come hell or high water, they are going to fly their asses outta there.
The door opens and I automatically look up. Ethan’s long strides make quick work closing the distance between us. He looks beat. He’s not worn out from a lack of sleep; it’s something else. There is an uncertainty to his baby blues that looks out of place on this man, and it makes me sad to know I am the reason it’s there. He takes a hesitant step towards me, and when I don’t object, kisses my temple like he used to. I offer him a timid smile in return.
“Thanks for meeting me.”
“Lex, you should know by now, I’ll always come when you call. I’m just glad you finally did.” When I didn’t say anything, he went up to the bar and grabbed us each a beer before sitting with me.
“You look good. How have you been doing?” he probed with obvious concern.
“I’m good. The minor cuts and bruises have healed, and the deeper ones are almost there. Another week and I won’t even need the air cast anymore.”
“How are you emotionally? Are you dealing with everything ok?”
I shrugged my shoulder in a noncommittal gesture. “Some days are better than others. I have an appointment next week with the therapist. Joel said the police department sends their guys to him after traumatic events. We’ll see how it goes.”
“You’ve been seeing the detective?” he asked calmly, but the tic in his jaw gave him away.
“He’s stopped by a few times to check on me, but we aren’t dating if that’s what you’re wondering.”
Ethan stared at the mouth of his bottle, mulling something over, before taking a drink.
“You asked me here. I’m taking that to mean you’re ready to talk. I want to make this easy for you. I love you, and only you. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Ask away.”
So much for my upper hand, it took him less than five minutes to rip that façade away.
“Ok, well let’s start with the photos.” I both needed and feared his answers in equal parts. I slipped my hands under the table, hiding my clenching fists from Ethan. Although I knew it was futile attempt, I still tried to limit any visible cues of my angst.
Ethan heaved out a weighty breath. “I never meant to hurt you Lex.” His pause put me even more on edge. “I met Lydia in college. Two broke kids with big dreams. We became friends, talked about our futures all of the time, and the plans we were making to get us where we wanted to be. But I swear to you, we never hooked up, not once. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and I didn’t use friends for sex. Those pictures were a gift. She sent them to me as a thank you. I introduced her to the people who eventually signed her to their modeling company. Those pictures sat against the wall in my living room for months. The club was still experiencing growing pains, and I spent even more time at Inferno than I do now. I was barely ever in my apartment. I concentrated so much on the business, that I asked my mom to handle the apartment and my personal business. She saw them sitting on the floor and thought that I bought them but never found the time to hang them up, so she did. I didn’t even notice until she told me. My mom thrives on helping people, especially her kids, so I left them where she hung them.”
Ethan paused again, taking a long pull of his beer. “Honestly Lex, I never gave the damn things another thought. Half the time I slept on the couch in my office, going home only to shower and change. Then I met you and spent the next several months trying to figure out how to get you to notice me. When you finally did, you became my world. For the first time in my life, I had something more important than building my empire. I understand now why they upset you, and I don’t blame you for it. I would be the same if this was reversed, probably worse. It isn’t a good excuse. I should have been smart enough to get rid of them a long time ago, but as lame as it sounds, they never meant anything to me, so it never occurred to me that you’d be bothered.”
He had such a sincere and hopeful look. Begging me with his eyes to believe him, and I did. God help me, but I did.
“Your mom didn’t recognize that it was Lydia in the pictures?”
“My mom never met Lydia. You are the only girl I’ve ever introduced to my parents.”
“If all of that’s true, why was she in your office dressed…”
“Like a whore?” he interrupted me.
“I was going to be a little more colorful about it, but that works.”
“Because I’m a dumbass and still thought of her as my friend and not the
conniving, evil bitch she’s turned into. She called and apologized for what she said to you. Told me a bullshit story about how she was just looking out for me, making sure you weren’t after my money. Said she was trying to be a good friend, and she knows she screwed up.”
“What the fuck,” I hissed. “I never met her before that night, and she’s calling me a gold digger?”
Brandon chose that moment to come check on us. Which was another what the fuck moment. Brandon never waits on anyone. You have to ask for a beer three or four times before he gets it from the cooler, and he never comes out from behind the bar to serve it. This in itself is a sign that the world is coming to an end.
Brandon paddled back behind the bar, and Ethan continued. “I set her straight on the gold digger reference. If anything, you’re the complete opposite. Anyway, she begged me to forgive her, promising she would make things right with you. I told her I’d go over the legal papers she received, but this was the last time and she needed to find a new consultant. She agreed and promised to stay out of my personal life. Lydia got there literally minutes before you, dropped her coat, and revealed her absurd pitch that we would make the perfect power couple. I was getting up to kick her out when you walked in. I had no idea she was playing some twisted game, trying to manipulate everyone to get what she wanted. I finally saw what everyone else did a long time ago.”
“Does she love you?”
“Hell no,” he scoffed.
“How do you know?”
“Because when you love someone, you don’t give them permission to keep tapping ass on the side as long as they’re discreet about it.”
My hand flew to my mouth, and I exclaimed, “No she didn’t?!” He nodded, finishing off his drink.
“So what happens with the two of you now?”
“Nothing, there is no us. She crossed the line, purposely trying, and possibly succeeding, to sabotage the best thing in my life. She fabricated a relationship with the intent to come between me and the woman I love. Not only did she jeopardize our future, but her ploy compelled my closest friends and family to question my fidelity. As far as I’m concerned, the bitch better stay the hell away from me, and everyone I care about, or I will fuck with her life until she won’t know which way is up.”
Now this look was anything but uncertain. That skank wouldn’t even pass him on the street if she was smart. Unfortunately, her intelligence is questionable at best.
“Where does that leave us?”
“That’s entirely up to you. I want you. Not for a little while, but for a lifetime.”
Wow. I totally did not expect that kind of declaration from a man like Ethan. Yeah, he may feel that way, but to actually verbalize it? That shocked the shit out of me.
“Have you been watching Lifetime? You didn’t grow a vagina in the past few weeks did you? Because that totally sounded like something a chick would say.”
A smile lit up his handsome face. “I’m just telling it like it is. But maybe you should check on the state of my manhood just to be on the safe side.”
His cheeky remark coaxed an involuntary grin. My smile faded, replaced with an immeasurable sadness, and I knew he saw the feelings openly illustrated on my face. Reacting to my sudden mood change, apprehension colored Ethan’s face. Focusing on the man sitting in front of me, I sorted through my feelings and searched my heart. What I found was an undeniable truth, and no matter how badly I wanted to, I was utterly incapable of changing it.
“Lex, it’s ok. You can tell me. I’ll deal with it, as long as in the end, I know it’s what makes you happy.” Unable to conceal his worry, Ethan sat, body taut, waiting for me to drop the bomb he was dreading.
“Ethan, I’ve missed you,” I confessed. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you before. I never stopped loving you, and I want there to be an us, forever.” The instant the words left my mouth, I dissolved into tears. Within seconds, I was swiftly drawn into his strong embrace.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The last few weeks have been pure bliss. Ethan took time off, spending it with me. We were rebuilding our relationship, and there was no doubt about where we stood. We formed an unbreakable bond that I knew no one would ever come close to defeating.
I met with the therapist a few times. He is helping me learn to deal with the whole ordeal. The nightmares haven’t stopped, but they are less frequent, and I have Ethan to chase them away when I can’t.
When I returned to work, my first objective was to track down Jerry, giving him a bone crushing hug of gratitude. We now have a standing lunch date every week. His notoriety for unlocking the identity leading to the apprehension of my stalker, and subsequently my rescue, spread throughout the company. For better or worse, Jerry is no longer invisible. He is, however, more social. As a result, his stutter is not nearly as noticeable as before.
********************
Group Message
Lex – what’s up my peeps? It’s a beautiful day! (singing and dancing, blue bird on finger)
Jack – stop being happy. It’s annoying (foot stomp)
Bella – I second that (voting hand motion)
Lex – what’s wrong with you two?
Makayla – they went out last night. Heard J come in around 4 (gasping in shocked horror)
Jack – Not sure what happened. I woke up with my pants on inside out (completely puzzled)
Bella – you were telling everyone you needed a fella. Maybe you found one
Jack – I wonder if I was any good
Makayla – Maybe it was that big dude from the hair place
Jack – Doubtful. I have trouble finding my own junk. I don’t need more of a challenge
Makayla – Should I study for my Series 6 exam or take a nap?
Lex – Study
Bella – Study
Jack – Study
Makayla – I don’t think I like your voice of reason
Lex – Study (said in a voice that doesn’t sound like me)
Makayla – smartass
********************
It’s Saturday night, and the whole gang is hanging out at Inferno. Sophia’s here and so are Marissa and Tyler. I invited Joel, hoping to spark up a little romance between him and Sophia. It seems to be working too. I got Ethan’s attention from across the VIP section, and grinning from ear to ear, I pointed to the new couple. He met my giddy, matchmaker happiness with a severe frown. He is still a little touchy where the detective is concerned.
The girls head out to the dance floor, and the guys ogle us from their private seats. The music was thumping, and we were all breaking out our best moves. Hips are swiveling, arms were waving, and Jack even busted out The Rabbit. We were having a great time, and my cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much.
Marissa was bumping and grinding her way in my direction. When she got close, she shouted. “Who’s the skank fighting with Ethan? He looks pissed.”
I looked over to see a woman wearing black, platform, hooker heels and a romper consisting of black, skinny pants with a white halter top that left her flawless back exposed. Lydia. Pushing through the crowd, I came up behind her.
“Ethan, please,” she begged. “Don’t be like this. We have too much history. You know we always find our way back to each other. It’s inevitable. Save us both the trouble and stop this song and dance routine.”
“Listen carefully Lydia, because this is the absolute last time I’m going to say this. You are not welcome anywhere near my family, my friends, or me. You are banned from any establishment that I operate, either solely or in part. If I see you again, I can guarantee, you will not like the consequences.”
“Ethan,” she began with an annoyed tone, “cut the act. We both know you’re blowing smoke. You couldn’t stand it if I was actually suffering in any way.”
“What about me?” My voice was a sickening sweet, condescending lilt, most people interpret as a warning that an ass kicking is brewing. “Am I pulling your leg too?”
She
turned to confront me, and a malicious smile took up residence on her face. “Aw look, the little puppy’s still sniffing around Ethan’s feet. Did you come back to get kicked some more?”
The girl posse fanned out behind me. Sophia looked over to see Joel assessing the situation, and trying to decide whether he should wade in. Sophia yelled out a warning. “Tonight you are one of the guys out with his buddies and your girls. You are NOT a cop; do you understand me? If you can’t do that, walk away right now.” “But make it quick,” she called as an afterthought.
“How pathetic, you need your friends to fight your battles. I shouldn’t have expected anything less from rubbish like you.”
“Let’s see, I’m so successful in my chosen career, that people actually seek me out, not the other way around, and the man you want… is in my bed every night. Green is not a good color on you princess.” I said sympathetically.
“Please,” she scoffed. “Like you could ever come close to fulfilling his… needs the way I do.”
“How’s the weather over there in fantasy land? Make sure you tell the wizard I said hi,” I laughed out right at her attempted bluff, pissing her off.
“You sniveling little brat, you are so far beneath my stature that you can’t even fantasize about reaching my level in society. You will never be welcome in the circles Ethan and I run.”
“A good punch to the vagina can fix that,” Makayla chimed in.
“Charming, your companions are just as foul as you are,” was Lydia’s snotty comment.
“I know, it’s great isn’t it,” I said with a sassy smirk.
Joel, standing next to Sebastian in the spectators box, asked “shouldn’t someone stop this?”
“No.” Both Tate and Tyler said at the same time.
“Dude, I’ve seen Lex and Makayla get pissed. You do not want to get caught in the middle of that eruption,” Sebastian explained. “You might be a big guy, but I’d still put money on those two hellcats for the win. You wade into that mess, no one is coming in after you, and I can guarantee… you will not come out of it the same, mentally or physically. You’re better off staying out of the way with us.”
