by Olivia Cox
Chanise smiled at him and reached over to touch his hand. “It is a good thing. It's a sign of personal growth.”
“Yeah, well, whatever.” Jake pulled away, leaning back in his chair again. “I just hope it doesn't make me go soft.”
“You keep confusing emotions with weakness. But confronting your emotions can be a source of strength.”
“How?”
“Because if you don't confront them, you let them have power over you. If all you ever do is bury your emotions and hide from them, then the darkness is winning. But if you can face what's inside, and work your way through it, then you end up a lot stronger than if you'd just run away and hide.”
“I guess you're right.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Damn! You're so much like the doc. This is starting to feel more like a therapy session than a date.”
“Sorry about that,” Chanise said. “I guess I got it from him.”
“From working with him for so long?”
“No. He's my father.”
“Ohh.” Jake rubbed his chin, looking her over. “Wow! Okay. I see it now.”
“See what?”
“You've got his eyes. Except yours are lighter. More...gentle.”
He leaned forward, staring deep into her eyes. “Like dark pools of wonder. I could spend all night staring into those eyes.”
Chanise felt her face heating up. She cleared her throat and looked away, not sure how to respond to such flattery. It had been a long time since anyone had spoken to her in such a fashion. And as much as she had loved her husband, he had never been quite so...poetic.
They chatted for more than an hour at the coffee shop, with Jake's flirtation becoming more and more bold as the coffee date went on. Chanise found her head spinning with all of the compliments. She wasn't used to getting this much attention from a man. It made her nervous, but at the same time, she found the attention flattering. And long after her coffee cup was empty, she found that she didn't quite want the date to end.
But then, she remembered that her daughter was waiting for her to come home. She had promised they would spend some time together tonight. Chanise checked the time on her phone and let out a long sigh. “I really should get going,” she said.
“Already?” Jake asked. He reached across the table and touched her hand. “But we're just getting started. Can't you stay a little bit longer?”
“I really shouldn't. My daughter is waiting for me.”
“Aww, the kid will be fine.” He gave her fingers a squeeze, grinning at her. “I thought maybe we could go back to my place for dinner and drinks. What do you think?”
“Back to your place?” Chanise asked with a frown. She pulled her hand away. “On a first date? What kind of girl do you think I am?”
“Hey, now.” Jake spread his hands apologetically. “I didn't mean anything by it. I just thought we were having a good time.”
“We were.” Chanise stood up, slinging her purse over her shoulder. “But not anymore. I guess I'll see you around.”
She headed out the door. Jake got up and hurried after her. He followed her into the parking lot. “Chanise, wait.”
“I told you, I need to go,” she said.
“I know, but...”
He grabbed her arm and spun her around, enveloping her in his strong arms. She held still, looking up at him. Being enclosed by his rock-solid arms made her feel small and vulnerable. It wasn't a feeling she was used to.
“Come on, baby,” he said, reaching up to caress her cheek. “I know you were having a good time. And I know you want me.”
“Is that so?” Chanise asked. She tried to keep an assertive tone of voice, but she felt her resolve weakening.
“Nothing wrong with giving in to your desires,” Jake said, looking deep into her eyes.
“There can be,” Chanise said. “Having a desire is one thing. Acting on it is something else.”
“Are you afraid?”
“Of you?” Chanise's eyes sparkled with amusement.
“Of yourself,” Jake said. “Of us. Of letting go of whatever this wall is that you're trying to put up between us.”
“Who says I'm putting up a wall?”
“I can see it,” Jake smirked. “Your father keeps talking to me about bringing down the walls I've been using to hide from my emotions. And I think now maybe I can see the signs in you. You're afraid of being hurt.”
“I've been hurt in the past.” She thought back to the loss of her husband. They had been married for less than a year. She had thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with him. She hadn't been prepared for his life to end so quickly.
“You can trust me,” Jake said, leaning closer.
“I don't know if I can.”
“You can.”
He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. Chanise held herself stiff for a moment, not sure if she should give in to this desire. Jake was attractive, and she found herself drawn to him. But she wasn't sure if this is what she really needed in her life, or if she was just being foolish and giving in to a simple crush.
But his lips felt so nice against hers. He started suckling on her lower lip, and she melted against him, slipping her arms around his neck. She held on to him while he kissed her, his hands gliding down her sides and caressing her ample hips. He squeezed her, and a soft moan slipped from her, betraying her desires.
She pulled back, looking up at him, her eyes filled with doubt and uncertainty. “I need to go,” she whispered.
“When will I see you again?”
She tried to find her voice, fighting against her breathlessness. “I'll be in the office Thursday.”
“No,” Jake said, holding her tighter. “I don't want to wait that long. Have dinner with me. Tomorrow night.”
“I can't.”
“Why not?”
“I have my daughter.” Chanise looked away.
“So, bring her along,” Jake said. “We can all have dinner together.”
Chanise looked up at him, her lips pursed in amusement. “Really? You'd want me to bring my daughter along on our date?”
“Hey, if that's what it takes to get you to have dinner with me, I'm all for it,” Jake smirked, a victorious look on his face.
“All right,” Chanise said. “But you'd better be on your best behavior.” She jabbed a finger against his chest. “I don't need my daughter to see us getting up to any hanky-panky.”
Jake laughed. “I promise, I'll be a perfect gentleman.”
Chanise wasn't sure if Jake was even capable of acting like a true gentleman, but she decided to give him a chance to prove himself.
They shared another kiss, and then she headed for her car. Jake followed her and opened the door for her. She drove off, heading back to her father's house to pick up her daughter. Though the entire way there, she could still taste Jake's kiss, and she couldn't fight off the feeling that she should have stayed longer. No matter what she might have told him, she hadn't really wanted the date to end.
* * *
The next day, after she picked Deena up from daycare, Chanise sat her down so they could have a talk about Jake. Chanise sat on the living room couch, and Deena was in her child-sized rocking chair on the other side of the coffee table.
“Deena, baby,” Chanise said, “you remember Jake? From Grandpa's office?”
“Yeah. He was on TV.”
“That's right.” Chanise didn't want to think about the news report of Jake getting into brawls with his teammates. The man she knew didn't seem like a violent person. If she believed he was truly capable of violence, there was no way she would ever bring her daughter near him. But she had seen his gentle side, and she knew that was the real him.
“Jake invited us to dinner at his house,” Chanise said.
“Yay!” Deena clapped her hands. “Can we have spaghetti?”
“Well, I don't know what he's cooking.” Chanise had a hard time imagining Jake in front of a stove, making a family dinner.
&
nbsp; “Well, that's okay,” Deena said.
“What do you think of Jake?”
“He's okay.” Deena shrugged.
“Just okay?”
Deena nodded.
Chanise smiled at her daughter. “What would you think if I spent more time with him? If he started coming over a couple of times each week to see us.”
“Is he your boyfriend?” Deena looked up at her with wide, innocent eyes.
Chanise pressed her lips together, trying to think how to answer that question. “Maybe. Would that be okay with you?”
“Bobby told me black girls can't have white boyfriends,” Deena said.
Chanise crossed her arms, a frown forming on her face. “Oh, did he now? Well, next time you see Bobby, you tell him that is an archaic attitude that belongs back in the 1950s.”
“What's ark-hay-ick?”
Chanise laughed. “It means old. Bobby's attitude is really old. And smart people nowadays don't listen to old ideas like that.”
“Oh. Okay.”
She got Deena dressed in some nice clothes, and they drove over to Jake's place together. Jake had an apartment in Philadelphia, and it was the first time Chanise had taken her daughter into the city. Deena leaned over in her car seat, peering out the windows at the tall buildings they passed. “Wow. Those are really big houses.”
“Most of them aren't houses,” Chanise said. “They're office buildings where people work.”
“They're lots bigger than Grandpa's office.”
Chanise chuckled. “Yes. Yes they are, dear.”
When they got to Jake's building, Deena insisted on being the one to press the button in the elevator. They rode up to Jake's floor and found Jake's apartment at the end of the hall. When he opened the door to greet them, Deena rushed right past him into the apartment, looking around with her jaw hanging open. “Wow! Your house is even bigger than Grandpa's!”
Jake chuckled. “It's pretty big, yeah. You should see the view.”
He led them to the dining room. The dining room was set in the corner of the apartment, and both walls were filled with floor to ceiling windows, looking out over the city. Deena ran over to the windows and pressed her face against the glass. “Wow, we're so high up! Are we gonna fall?”
“No, you won't fall,” Jake said. “The windows don't even open.”
Chanise looked around the apartment. It was quite lavishly decorated, with a black leather sofa and a big screen TV in the living room, and a solid oak table and chair set in the dining room. She glanced into the kitchen and saw one of those new fancy fridges with a computer screen on the front, the kind that connected to your cell phone so you could order food deliveries with the tap of a button. It all felt very Jetsons to Chanise, but she supposed that was what you could afford nowadays on a quarterback's salary.
“You ready to eat?” Jake asked. He held out a chair for Chanise.
“I'm starved.” She sat down, and then Jake helped Deena onto a chair as well. They waited while Jake made several trips back and forth from the kitchen, bringing out a veritable feast. There was steaming hot lasagna, a large Greek salad, a bowl of penne pasta with marinara, and a plate of garlic bread. It looked and smelled delicious, and it was more food than the three of them could possibly hope to eat.
“Wow,” Deena said, looking at all the food. “You cooked all that yourself?”
“Yup,” Jake said with a grin. “Dig in. I hope you enjoy it.”
The meal was delicious and filling. Chanise was even a bit jealous of Jake's cooking skills. She was a decent-enough cook herself, but she had never learned how to cook anything fancy.
Though when they finished eating and she helped clean up the plates, she found out that the meal wasn't all that it had seemed. While she was putting her plate into the sink, she saw a box from a catering service sticking out of the trash, mostly hidden by the trash can’s lid. She smirked and shook her head, deciding not to say anything about it. If Jake was going that far out of his way to impress her, she found it a bit flattering.
“You don't have to do that, you know,” Jake said. He walked into the kitchen carrying a stack of dishes. “I'm not being a very good host if I let you clean up after yourself.”
“Please,” Chanise said, rolling her eyes. “I have a kid; I'm used to being the one cleaning everything up.”
“I know, but seriously. Let me get that.” He stepped up behind her, setting the dishes in the sink. Then he slipped his arms around her. He leaned in close, pressing his cheek against her dark curly hair. She smiled and leaned back against him, pressing her hands over his and holding him tighter. She closed her eyes for a moment, forgetting where she was and putting all of her worries and doubts out of her mind. Just for that moment, it felt good to just be held by a man. She had missed this sort of simple, intimate contact.
The moment was broken when Deena called out from the other room, “Momma! I need to go potty.”
Chanise sighed and pulled away from Jake. “I'll be right there, sweetheart.”
Jake gave her a sad smile, clearly disappointed that their moment had been interrupted. She reached up and patted his cheek. “Maybe next time, we'll have dinner, just the two of us. No interruptions.”
“I'd like that,” he said, his eyes lighting up.
After Chanise helped Deena in the bathroom and got her cleaned up after dinner, she told Jake, “We should probably get going soon. We have an early morning tomorrow, and I don't want to keep Deena out too late.”
“But it's early,” Jake said. “You should stay. I got some videos to keep Deena occupied.”
Chanise crossed her arms, staring Jake down. “Oh? And what were you planning on doing while she's 'occupied'?”
Jake chuckled and scratched the back of his head. “Well, I kind of figure you and I could get some alone time together.”
Chanise scoffed, rolling her eyes. “With my daughter in the apartment with us?” She lowered her voice and stepped closer so that Deena wouldn't overhear what they were talking about. “Jake, she's just a child. She barely understands what it means for her Momma to be dating. I don't want her asking me what her Momma and Momma's boyfriend were doing in the other room for an hour while she watched videos.”
“An hour, eh?” Jake smirked. “I guess you can tell I've got an athlete's stamina.”
Chanise laughed and shoved Jake back. “Oh, you're terrible!”
Jake laughed as well, taking her hands in his. “But you love it.”
Chanise blushed and looked down at her feet. “Maybe I do.”
“Maybe?”
“Well, I can't just tell you,” she said. “You've already got a big enough head.”
He pulled her close and kissed her deeply. Chanise clung to him, savoring the sensation of his lips against hers, and the way his tongue brushed gently against her lower lip. For just a moment, she forgot that her daughter was in the other room.
But when she did remember, she pulled away. She patted Jake's chest and said, “Next time, tiger. When it's just the two of us.”
Jake grinned in anticipation. “I can't wait.”
Chanise told Deena it was time to go and they headed for the door. Deena waved at Jake and said, “Bye! Thanks for dinner.”
“No problem, kiddo,” he said. “Though I hope you don't mind if I take your mom out again soon just the two of us, for some grown-up time.”
Deena gave him a very serious look, planting her hands on her hips. “You'd better not try any funny business, Mister!”
Jake laughed, looking up at Chanise. “She must get that from you.”
Chanise rubbed her hand through Deena's braids. “Well, excuse me for raising her to stand up for herself.”
Chanise gave Jake another quick kiss before they left. Jake's touch lingered for a moment, clearly wanting more. She sucked on his lip for a moment just before she pulled away, leaving him with the promise of what was to come.
* * *
Chanise ended up being too busy t
o have dinner with Jake again before his appointment on Thursday. When he came into the office for his counseling session, she immediately felt awkward. Seeing him there in the office reminded her of the potential conflict of interest in dating one of her father's patients. She was sure that her father wouldn't approve, and she didn't want him to find out. At least not yet. Not until she found out if the relationship was going anywhere or not.
Jake walked over to the window and leaned through it, giving her a kiss. She pulled back, giving him a look that was a mixture of happiness and annoyance. “Not while I'm at work,” she said. She grabbed the sign-in clipboard and poked it against his chest.
“What? I can't give my girl a kiss when I see her?”
“I'm not 'your girl' when I'm in the office,” she said. She wasn't even sure if she was “his girl” at all, but she certainly couldn't afford to act like a love-struck fool while she was at work. She used the clipboard to shove him back until he leaned out of the window and took it from her hands. “Sign in, please.”
“I still need to sign in?” He frowned at the clipboard. “Come on. It's not like you don't know who I am.”
“It's for our records. If you don't sign in and the system doesn't get updated right, your paperwork might get screwed up. And then you stay on suspension, remember?”
Jake sighed and took the pen. He signed in and handed back the clipboard. Though instead of going back to sit down in the waiting room, he leaned his elbows on the windowsill, grinning at her.
“I've got work to do,” Chanise said, giving him an annoyed look.
Jake glanced back into the waiting room. “There's no one here but me.”
“That doesn't mean I don't have work.” Chanise gestured to the reports on her computer screen. “I do a lot more here than just checking in patients.”
Jake glanced at the screen, and then shrugged. “Can't that wait? I'll only be out here a few minutes before I have to go speak to your father.”
