by M H Ryan
“I took some Tae Kwon Do as a kid. Got to a yellow belt,” Soto said.
“I don’t know a single word you just said,” Pop said and then spit. “When we stop tonight and every night after, we will train for two hours in the art of combat.”
“Two hours?” Barkly said.
“This is not negotiable. I won’t have you unable to fulfill your duties as guardians if I can help it. Or do you want me to dishonor myself?”
“We’ll be happy to train with you,” Soto said. “Thank you.” He eyed Barkly.
“What?” Barkly whispered. “I want to train with him, but you think after carrying all our shit all day, he’s going to have anything left?”
“I’m fine,” Pop said. “And stop pussy footing around and pick up the pace. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.”
“Okay,” Bowsette said. “But it’s a long journey, Pop, and we have The Staircase soon.”
He grumbled but didn’t respond. With a sigh, Bowsette picked up the pace. To her surprise, the old guy kept up.
She kept the pace over the next couple hours looking back at Pop as much as she looked forward. Sweat dripped from his wrinkly face, but he looked determined enough to walk through a stone wall. Why did he have to be so stubborn?
The boys didn’t remember a lot about their homeworld, but as they talked to each other, they got excited each time the other brought something up that sparked a new memory. They talked about movies, music and their political system. They voted in their leaders and interesting concept to Bowsette. There was an occasional vote from the elders, but she found it poetic that a homeless man’s vote counted the same as a princess’s. It would never work in the kingdoms but fascinating none the less. Mostly she just liked listening to their enthusiasm about their world. She wished she could visit it one day. Maybe there was something in the old texts and once she had the Grand Kingdom under her rule, she could explore such options.
“There it is!” Pop said, pointing around.
As they rounded a narrow corner of the Trench, The Staircase appeared a few hundred feet ahead. She’d only been to it a few times and climbed it once on a dare. While it couldn’t be disputed as anything else than a staircase, it was a legendary, if not a sacred place for Trench people. He adult eyes had never witnessed it and while it seemed massive, it didn’t hold the endless height she felt it did as a child. Previously, when she gazed up at the steep stairs carved into the side of the cliff, she would have guessed they reached not the top of the trench but extended all the way to the Cloud Kingdom. Juvenile or mature, it still took her breath away.
“Wow,” Barkly said. “That’s a lot of steps?”
“Must be a couple hundred flights,” Soto said.
“What are we waiting for?” Pop said, between heavy breaths.
“Shouldn’t we stop and rest?” Soto asked.
“You can stay down here if you need to rest those weak muscles,” Pop grumbled.
“No, I’ll go first,” Soto said, taking the first step.
Pop went second. His bags rubbed on the wall to the left, forcing him to walk on the outside edge of the stairs. It gave Bowsette anxiety to watch it, but she rushed up behind him, making sure she could grab him if mishap happened to happen. After a dozen steps, the height looked fatal and she gazed down at the unforgiving brown dirt below. The elders could have invested in a handrail, they had definitely used the stairs enough back then to warrant the cost of one.
The edge of the stone stairs were rounded down and also worn through the middle. Only the outside edges still held the sharp, original cuts. It was wear created by millions of steps, from Trench people carrying similar loads to Pop’s. She’d seen the old drawings of it, where hundreds would be on The Staircase at a time. Now, it was just theirs and the dust that built up like little sand dunes nestled into the corner of each step.
“I’m right behind you,” Barkly said, watching her walk up the stairs.
“If you’re scared of heights, just try to look at the wall. It gets kind of freaky as we get higher,” Bowsette said.
“I’ve got plenty to look at back here, Princess,” Barkly said.
About halfway up The Staircase, Pop started groaning with each step. He lifted a leg, half grabbing it with his hands and pulling, then nearly falling into the next step each time. Bowsette’s heart skipped a beat as she braced to catch him each step he took.
“You got this, Pop,” Barkly called from behind.
Pop grumbled and growled but didn’t form an actual verbal complaint to Barkly’s nomenclature.
Bowsette usually didn’t like heights, but the attention she gave Pop, made thinking of much else, impossible. To his credit, he kept a nice pace up the stairs even with the groaning and nearly falling to his death with each step but about two-thirds of the way up, he collapsed to one knee and she thought she heard something pop.
“No,” he said getting back to his feet. “I don’t need help.”
“You are as stubborn as anything I’ve ever seen, Pop,” Bowsette said. “And I can’t let this continue.”
“This is my honor,” he said, getting back to his feet, groaning and cursing at his leg. “If I am forced to stop again, I will remove my pack and take a step.”
“Pop, you are more valuable than how much you can carry for us,” Bowsette said.
“I’ve worked with many royal families and I’d rather die than let you carry your bags.”
“Fine then, I command you to not die and get up this staircase.”
Pop nodded and got to his feet. “Yes, Princess.”
“This is the stupidest thing—”
She glared at Barkly and he stopped talking.
She stayed right behind Pop with Soto right in front of him. The old man kept climbing though and soon they were near the top. She looked down, into the Trench kingdom and then back behind her. The tops of the Trenches could be seen and the grand size of her kingdom overwhelmed her. They had so much potential and space to grow. In a way, it made her feel small. She even spotted places she’d never been.
“Two more steps, my man,” Soto said. “You are a fucking beast, Pop Master.”
“Get out of my way,” Pop said, swatting at Soto. “You’re slowing me down.”
He took the last two steps and then staggered a few feet past the staircase and fell to his knees.
“That was insane,” Barkly said, rushing up to pat Pop on the back.
He tried to deflect the affection, but his blocks had no force to them and he just allowed himself to be touched by Barkly. Pop’s face dripped with sweat and he breathed in great, wheezing gasps.
“Just over the Great Berm, is the Grass Kingdom,” Pop said, struggling to breathe.
“Let’s take a break,” Bowsette said.
“Nonsense,” Pop said, getting to his feet. “I’ve rested enough.”
“He’s going to die,” Barkly whispered to Bowsette.
“I bet he’s going to outlive all of us,” Soto said, walking behind Pop.
Bowsette followed along, looking at another wonder of the Trench and she imagined, for the Grass Kingdom. The Great Berm. Not a hundred feet from the Trench was a rolling hill about twenty feet high, that stretched like a log, as far as she could see in both directions. No one was sure if it had been built or a natural occurrence, but it served as the border between the two kingdoms. She couldn’t see over it, but the breeze carried the scents of grass and polled over the berm and to her.
This was as far as she ever got as a child. The rumors of grass guardian’s that would steal you and pull you into the earth, kept her little girl heart from mustering the courage to climb the hill and eye the other side. As a woman, she walked up the soft incline, reaching the top and stopping to take in the view.
Before her, as far as she could see was green, grass fields. A light breeze blew the blades like waves on water. Flowers sprouted in clusters of yellow and white. A few forests dotted the grassy knolls and way in the distance,
she spotted the narrow, but tall castle of the Grass Kingdom. Princess Rubber lived there and while she had never met her, their families had been friendly in the past. She hoped the princess could see facts between fictions.
“It’s incredible,” Barkly said. “Like a postcard.”
“Finding cover is going to be tough,” Soto said.
“He’s smarter than you,” Pop said to Barkly. “You’re right. Being stealthy isn’t going to be easy.”
“We’ll walk to the second forest there,” Bowsette said, pointing to a large patch of trees, hiding much of the castle beyond. “We’ll make camp and then when night falls, we can move across the prairie.”
“Good plan, princess,” Pop said. “It will give me a chance to read more of the book. I think I have some interesting things we can use to gain favor with Princess Rubber.”
“Princess Rubber,” Barkly said, with a chuckle. “I’m never getting over that name.”
“She’s named after a tree,” Bowsette said. “A rubber tree. What’s funny about that?”
“Nothing,” Soto said. “He’s just eternally twelve.”
“Pop?” She felt stupid asking the question. “Are there grass guardians to be concerned about?”
“I believe those are a myth,” Pop said. “But we should proceed with caution.”
“What’s a grass guardian?”
“Just this creature they used to scare us kids with. It’s stupid,” Bowsette said and started walking down the dirt hill, toward the grass.
She stopped at the edge and looked down the Great Berm in both directions. The grass kept a nice line against the bottom of the berm as if the Trench soil itself wouldn’t allow for the growth or perhaps the grass had no intention of stepping across the line.
“Whoa, check at that Wooly Mammoth looking thing out there,” Barkly said, pointing.
A way out, walking down a hill was a Mowphant. A gentle creature of the Grass Kingdom that grazed on the grass with it’s wide, flat mouth. A dark green line of freshly cut grass trailed behind it, maybe six feet wide. The large animal was as tall as Bowsette but much wider and walked on all fours. Most of its features were hidden under the massive amount of hair it had that reached all the way to the grass. To Bowsette, it kind of looked like a shaggy, grey mop, sucking up the taller grass as it moved slowly through the plains.
She knelt down, next to the edge of the grass and reached out to touch it when the grass swelled, and a dirty hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.
She screamed and pulled back and with it, whatever else was attached to the arm. A section of the grass bulged out and she pulled the Moleman half way out of his hole. He yelled out a high pitched sound and right before her, years of childhood nightmares were brought to life.
Chapter Sixteen
The Moleman had a brown, bald, rounded head with big, bulging eyes. His front teeth stuck out from his mouth, overhanging his thin bottom lip and thick whiskers jutted out from each cheek. Bits of dirt and grass stuck to his skin. He held her firm with a few of his claw-like fingers, digging into her wrist.
She ground her teeth at this, pissed that this thing had scared her and extra ticked that it hadn’t let go. She turned her wrist while getting a solid grip on his arm and then pulled as hard as she could. The dirty creature got yanked from the ground and grass in one quick motion. Dirt flew up out of the hole, landing around her. He squirmed and squealed, trying to break free from her grip, but she wouldn’t let go.
“No touching grass,” he yelled out in a hiss between his teeth.
Pop thrust his pole at the Moleman, sending the two forked ends on either side of the thing’s neck. Pop lifted him to his feet. Dirt and bits of grass fell from his thick, woolen clothes. He smelled of mud and body odor.
“Don’t kill him, yet,” Bowsette said, still gripping his wrist.
“Me go, me go,” Moleman said, grabbing at the pole.
“Stop it, or I will start slapping you,” Bowsette said.
He stared blankly at her, pulling at the pole with one hand while trying to free his hand from her with the other.
“Stop it,” she said again, raising her hand.
“I stop, I stop,” he said, taking his hand off Pop’s pole.
Barkly and Soto moved to either side of him, ensuring he couldn’t escape.
“Why’d you grab me?” Bowsette asked.
“I hear you. I hear it.” He tapped on the holes on the side of his head and glanced back to the grass hills.
“We’re here to see the Princess Rubber.”
“You here to kill her,” Moleman said.
“What? No, we aren’t here to kill her.”
“The monster, you sent the monster!” he screamed.
“What are you talking about?” Bowsette asked.
“The monster, it comes.” Moleman pointed behind him, toward the Grass Kingdom.
The Mowphant had given up on creating a clean mow line and was now running, hair flopping and mouth open, howling out with a deep sound. On the hill behind it, moving just as fast, was… well, if this Moleman in front of her had been her childhood nightmare than what was on the hill, running toward them had become the nightmare of all the adults of all the Kingdoms.
“Is that a…?” Barkly said, going pale as dough.
“A Volgard,” Pop said, throwing off the backpacks and grabbing his pole. “I sure hope to hell you boys can fight without them Berries.”
Chapter Seventeen
She stared at the beast, frozen so much by the sight of it, she moved her fingers just to make sure it didn’t have the power of immobilization on her. It had a few familiar features, which in a way made it all the more horrible. It had two legs, two arms and a head on its shoulders but from there, it ceased to be anything but a patchwork creature created by a maniac. They built it using half metal, half flesh, sewn together with steel cables. The stitches oozed with the green liquid powering it. Even at a distance, the thumping of its bare feet pounded on the grass toward them could be heard. Its head had no hair, and its face had no nose, but it had two large black eyes with a wide mouth full of metallic, sharp teeth. It carried a hammer in one hand that in itself was as big as Bowsette. The Volgard towered over the Mowphant as it ran past it, maybe reaching twenty-five feet in height.
“What is that doing here?” Barkly asked.
“I think you’re fiancée just sent a breakup text,” Soto said, looking everywhere but at the Volgard.
“Pop, rope,” Bowsette said.
Pop pulled a string from the backpack and in seconds, they had tied up Moleman to their bags. He struggled and screamed, tugging at the pack.
“That thing can hear you. I suggest you play dead,” Bowsette said to Moleman.
Its eyes went wide, it nodded and then flopped on the ground, not moving.
Pop grabbed a hammer from his bag and tossed it to Barkly, then he grabbed two daggers and handed them to Soto.
“Looks like you boys are going to get some live training today,” Pop Master said with a wicked smile.
Barkly hefted the hammer in his hand with a big smile. One side of the head it had a large, flat surface while the other side finished with a spike.
“This is beautiful, Pop Master. Thanks,” Barkly said. “I still have a little hammer envy if you—”
“Thank you,” Soto said with daggers in hand. “Barkly, you see the yellow flowers over there.”
“Yeah, the ones between the Frankenstein robot ogre and us?”
“Dude, those are Tornado Flowers.”
“No way. Think we can make it?”
Bowsette saw the speed the Volgard was moving and knew how fast the boys could run. It would be too close for a guarantee but thinking about it for one second more wasn’t going to help. She took the first step and launched into a run, screaming for them to follow.
Barkly and Soto kept a good pace with her but a glance back saw Pop lagging behind while trying to drink a vial.
The monster was a few hu
ndred feet ahead of them when it raised it’s hammer high and growled at them. Green goo spit out from its mouth.
“We’re not going to make it,” she said. “Go around it while I distract it.”
Barkly started running wide to her left while Soto took off to her right.
“Hey, I’m right here!” Bowsette screamed, waving her arms as the beast glanced between Barkly and Soto.
The Volgard focused on her and snarled, showing it’s blackened teeth. She took a deep breath, making sure she had a significant amount of fire built up and ready to fry this green, oozing, sack of shit. About fifty feet away, the thing slid to a stop right on top of the yellow tornado flowers. The dirt mounded in front of his feet in a pile, grass, flowers and all.
Bowsette spit a fireball into her hand and then threw it at the beast. It landed ten feet short and then bounced off the ground and hit the thing on the chest. It slapped it with its metallic hand, putting out the flame. She slowed to a walk, just thirty feet away.
“Came at me!” she yelled, trying to get the thing off the flower patch.
It growled at Barkly and Soto as the three of them made a triangle around it.
“Stay back,” Bowsette said to the boys.
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Barkly replied, hands up as if he might box the thing.
It held the hammer, waiting for the first one of them to make their move. So it wasn’t brainless and in a way, and the thought of that thing having its own mind made her feel bad for it. Another unredeemable act from Cupcake.
Closer up, she saw what a grotesque creation Cupcake had made. The Vols were a rare being from the Mountain Kingdom. They were captured and taken to the Grand Kingdom where they were experimented on until they found a method that enlarged, enraged and sent them into near madness. They were so large and unstable they had to be patched with a mixture of metal and cables. Even then they would be dead in days, so they hit them with a deep freeze potion so when the time came, it would take a while to activate them, but they’d be ready. The last phase was the green goo called Gard. She wasn’t sure what it was, but they filled the creature with it, completing its transformation into a Volgard.
